Three Springs
“That was the pesticide I had used this morning and hadn’t put away yet. I just left it there without thinking. I never imagined that such a casual act would cost my child’s life.” Yang Yanzhen covered her face, but didn’t cry.
By this time, she had cried all her tears, so when she recalled those painful scenes, she could speak calmly. She didn't know how to explain her feelings, but beyond the pain, she felt mostly guilt.
That was paraquat. She watched helplessly as Xingwang slowly lost its vitality, which was too cruel for a mother.
“I will always remember the look in Xingwang’s eyes before he breathed his last…fearful, with tears in his eyes, and the last word he said was ‘Mom’…”
Countless midnight dreams tormented Yang Yanzhen with Xingwang's eyes. She always wondered what Xingwang wanted to say to her in the end. He was only fourteen years old, and he died like that. No one could let it go.
“Every day I think, if only I hadn’t yelled at him that day, if only I had made him drink that bowl of fish soup, if only I had spoken to him nicely.”
If she had spoken to him properly, she would have told him that she had actually cooked chicken soup for him. Although only Xingda had fish soup, it was because he didn't eat fish. When he was little, he had a fish bone stuck in his throat and had to go to the village clinic for treatment. After that, his family didn't eat fish much. She later realized that Xingwang didn't necessarily want that bowl of fish soup; he just thought that only Xingda had it.
But she realized it too late.
“It’s just a bowl of fish soup. If the child wants to drink it, he should drink it. Why should I argue with him!” Yang Yanzhen’s sobs finally broke out. She choked back tears, “He will definitely blame me. I haven’t been a good mother. It’s all my fault. If we meet again… he will definitely blame me too…”
In the empty room, Yang Yanzhen's suppressed sobs echoed.
Si Mucheng was at a loss for words to comfort her, while Wen Ya remained indifferent and unmoved.
Such a story was too tragic. Si Mucheng felt as if he had a wad of wet cotton stuffed into his heart, as if no one was at fault, yet everyone was at fault.
Finally, Yang Yanzhen wiped her nose vigorously, composed herself, and smiled apologetically at Si Mucheng and Wen Ya: "Sorry, I talked a lot about the chaos in my own home. Please excuse me. Okay, it's all cleaned up now, Xiao Si, you can rest."
She originally wanted Wen Ya to come with her to see the room, but Wen Ya didn't move and just stood there. Yang Yanzhen thought for a moment and assumed that the two young people still had work to talk about, so she said, "Then I'll go tidy up first. Xiao Wen can just go and sleep in later."
Si Mucheng glanced at Wen Ya and politely thanked Yang Yanzhen.
After Yang Yanzhen left, Si Mucheng looked at Wen Ya's expression and said, "Are you unhappy? Is it because of Aunt Yang?"
Wen Ya shook her head: "I can't explain it." She looked puzzled. "Shouldn't family members be honest with each other?"
She couldn't understand how Yang Yanzhen and her son Xingwang could have such a tragic outcome simply because they weren't honest with each other.
Si Mucheng hummed in agreement: "That's normal. There are always all sorts of concerns in human interactions. Even with a sincere heart, it's impossible to show yourself without reservation. Even with family, there are situations where you can't speak up. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many regrettable misunderstandings."
Wen Ya fell silent. She thought about her own limited experience with her family and felt she had no right to comment on the matter. Wasn't she also dishonest with her grandfather? Otherwise, why would he hide even his life and death from her and never tell her his thoughts? To this day, she still has to go to great lengths to find out what he is planning.
Si Mucheng glanced at Xingwang, the little devil in the corner of the room. He had been in the room the whole time and had heard what his mother said.
At this moment, "he" was stunned, which made him look a little pitiful.
Si Mucheng didn't know what to say, so he sighed and said, "Kid, seeing how heartbroken your mother is, are you still blaming her?"
Xingwang shook his head: "...Actually, I regretted it as soon as I drank it. It wasn't entirely because of arguing with my mother that day...it was because I was in a bad mood. I got into a fight at school that day, and someone said that my dad is often away from home, and who knows whose brother my brother is...I got carried away and..." Xingwang's voice trailed off.
Si Mucheng was truly speechless now.
In a moment of impulse, he ended up with this irreparable separation of life and death. He didn't want to blame anyone further, as saying more would only leave him with a sigh.
"Then don't be so impulsive in your next life," Si Mucheng said helplessly.
Xingwang hung his head dejectedly: "...Life is so fragile. I was just arguing with my mother...I never expected that the pesticide wouldn't cure me."
Si Mucheng thought for a moment and said, "Well, it's not like I gained nothing. At least I learned this insight."
Wen Ya was speechless, unable to tell whether Si Mucheng was genuinely trying to comfort her or being sarcastic.
She looked at Xingwang: "So, what exactly is your obsession?"
Upon hearing her question, Xingwang suddenly raised his head: "Actually... I just want to drink a bowl of fish soup that my mother makes."
Si Mucheng: ...
I'm really impressed by this gluttonous boy; even at the very end, he was still thinking about that bowl of fish soup.
But it's clear that this obsession is difficult to achieve—Xingwang is already a ghost and can't eat unless offered sacrifices. The fish soup is offered to "him" and belongs exclusively to "him"; otherwise, "he" cannot "eat" the Dao, and there's no way to eliminate the obsession.
But if they were to hold a memorial service, Yang Yanzhen would have to know, which would be too strange. No matter what excuse Si Mucheng and Wen Ya used, as long as they steered the conversation toward Xingwang and mentioned that bowl of fish soup that was like a knot in their hearts, it would seem suspicious and they would definitely be seen as strange people.
Si Mucheng needs to think about it some more.
The next morning, when Si Mucheng woke up, it was already bright daylight. The night before, Yang Yanzhen had brought in a fan because she was worried he would be too hot. Si Mucheng was still a little hot when he lay down, but by the middle of the night, the temperature had dropped and it was very cool, so Si Mucheng slept soundly.
As they came out of the room, breakfast was laid out on the table in the main room. Yang Yanzhen and Xingda were whispering to each other. When they saw Si Mucheng, Xingda excitedly ran over: "Big brother, you're up!"
Yang Yanzhen smiled and asked, "Xiao Si, did you sleep well?"
Si Mucheng hugged Xingda and spun him around, then tossed him up and caught him again, making Xingda giggle. He replied to Yang Yanzhen, "Slept very well."
Seeing Xingda having so much fun, Yang Yanzhen was both amused and exasperated: "Xingda, stop messing with your little brother Si."
"It's okay, he's not heavy." Si Mucheng tossed him twice more before putting Xingda down. Xingda bit his finger and looked at Si Mucheng with a smile. Si Mucheng pinched his cheek: "Is that sister still sleeping?"
Xingda shook his head: "No, my sister got up a long time ago. Big brother, why are you still in bed? Shame on you."
Si Mucheng raised an eyebrow. Wen Ya got up early?
“Yes, Xiao Wen went out early this morning, saying he was going to… gather inspiration, yes, gather inspiration, to see the sunrise around here,” Yang Yanzhen explained.
Si Mucheng: "...A field trip? Sunrise?"
This is truly bizarre.
“Yes.” Yang Yanzhen didn’t notice the doubt in his tone, and just pointed to the table. “Go wash up quickly. There’s breakfast on the table. We’ve all finished eating. The rest is yours.”
Si Mucheng quickly finished washing up, took a bite of his vegetable bun, and asked, "Auntie, how long has Wen Ya been gone?"
Yang Yanzhen was showing Xingda a comic book when she heard Si Mucheng's words. She glanced at the clock on the wall and said, "Oh dear, it's been more than an hour. The sun is getting hotter and hotter. She didn't bring any water with her. I hope she doesn't get too hot."
Upon hearing this, Si Mucheng quickly stuffed the leftover bun into his mouth and said, "I'll go out and look for her."
As they reached the door, Xingda grabbed her leg and said, "Brother, I want to go too."
Yang Yanzhen couldn't handle Xingda, so she came over and took his hand, saying, "Why are you so difficult to deal with, child!"
Seeing Xingda's big, blinking eyes, Si Mucheng laughed: "It's alright, I'll just take him out for a walk. Xingda can even give me directions."
"Well... that's fine too."
So Simucheng took Xingda out.
After leaving the house, Si Mucheng looked around but didn't see Xingwang. He guessed that Xingwang had gone with Wen Ya.
Si Mucheng knew that Wen Ya hadn't gone to see the sunrise at all. She must have gone to the place where Wen Yongjie had set up the formation yesterday. It was obvious that she was worried about him. She lost track of Wen Yongjie halfway through the chase and was even interfered with. She must be holding a grudge.
Xingda was very happy, running and jumping around, never walking properly. Si Mucheng reminded him, "Be careful not to fall." After seeing that he didn't listen at all, he left him alone.
After a while, Xingda looked curiously at the mountain path ahead and asked, "Big brother, do you know where my sister is?"
Si Mucheng put his hands in his pockets and gave a casual "hmm" in response.
Xiao Xingda, full of curiosity, asked, "But my sister didn't say where she went, how did you know, brother?"
Si Mucheng casually replied, "I just know."
Xiao Xingda then asked, "So, how did you know that, brother?"
Si Mucheng: "...I just knew it."
After going back and forth like this for a while, Xiao Xingda, the little devil, said: "Brother, you can't say it. You're just pretending to know, but you don't actually know at all!"
Si Mucheng now regrets bringing him out. Who knew this kid would be so difficult to deal with, even he is having trouble handling him.
He stretched out his hand, scooped up the little brat, and put him on his shoulders: "Alright, stop talking, brother will carry you up."
Xingda cheered, "Riding a horse, riding a horse!"
He hugged Si Mucheng's head: "Chen Qiwen's father also often let him ride on his back!"
Si Mucheng thought of Xingda and Xingwang's father being away for a long time, opened his mouth, but said nothing.
The two walked a long mountain path. Si Mucheng was carrying a heavy load up the mountain, and even with his strength, he couldn't help but pant slightly.
Xingda asked earnestly, "Are you tired, brother?"
Si Mucheng straightened his back: "With your small weight, you won't feel tired at all."
Xingda asked doubtfully, "Really?"
Just then, the sound of fallen leaves being trampled rang out. Si Mucheng looked in the direction of the sound and saw Wen Ya's figure ahead. His brows relaxed, and he smiled, "Xiao Ya!"
Wen Ya looked at them and paused, asking, "Why are you here?"
"I've come to pick you up." Si Mucheng took two steps forward, and just as he was about to ask something, Xingda on his head suddenly called out, "Brother."
"What?" Si Mucheng thought he was being called.
Xingda simply looked ahead and said, "It's not you, it's my own brother."
Si Mucheng and Wen Ya exchanged a glance, then both turned their gaze to Xingwang, who was floating to the side.
Si Mucheng immediately broke out in a sweat.
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