Su Yu was terrified and at a loss for what to do by Yan Chiling's pained appearance. He had never seen his fourth junior brother so out of control.
Those usually clear and aloof eyes were now bloodshot, and tears mixed with cold sweat kept streaming down their faces.
"Fourth Junior Brother! Calm down!" Su Yu tried to press down on Yan Chiling's trembling shoulders, but the other grabbed his wrist. The strength of that hand was astonishing; Su Yu could even hear the cracking of his own bones under the strain.
But what alarmed Su Yu even more was Yan Chiling's eyes at that moment—they were filled with despair and hopelessness, like a drowning person grasping at the last piece of driftwood.
how so?
He should be the one who hates Bai Ying the most. His memories should be exactly as Ruan Xinrou said, filled with Bai Ying's heinous acts.
But why are there so many wonderful memories from the past?
The memories in his mind continued, all of them such beautiful scenes. Everyone knew how much he cherished and loved Bai Ying.
But all this beauty crumbled with the arrival of one person.
He saw the scene when Ruan Xinrou first came to the sect—the girl in the pink dress timidly hiding behind her master, just like Bai Ying when she first came.
"This is your junior sister, Ruan Xinrou."
That one sentence set the stage for a nightmare...
Those terrible memories came flooding back like a tidal wave, each frame so clear it was heartbreaking.
Yan Chiling saw his younger self hiding in a corner of the training ground, his fox ears drooping listlessly, his fingers nervously twisting the hem of his clothes. Bai Ying had been pestered by Ruan Xinrou to ask him about swordsmanship for a full hour and hadn't looked at him once.
"Do you like Junior Sister more now?" He pulled Bai Ying aside, his voice full of grievance.
The girl in his memory was taken aback at first, then smiled helplessly, reaching out to gently pinch his trembling fox ears: "What are you saying?"
Those days were so wonderful—
But one day things suddenly changed, and those rumors spread like venomous snakes.
"I saw Senior Sister Bai push Junior Sister Ruan down the steps!"
"She put a bone-corroding poison in her junior sister's tea!"
"She was jealous of her junior sister's favor with the emperor, so she deliberately ruined her junior sister's hairpin!"
Yan Chiling looked painfully at his memories of himself—that boy who stood in the center of the council hall time and time again, facing the accusations of his senior brothers without yielding an inch: "Bai Ying is not that kind of person!" He drew his sword in public and pointed it at the disciple who spread the rumors, the tip of the sword trembling with anger; when Ruan Xinrou once again framed Bai Ying, he showed this seemingly weak junior sister a cold look for the first time.
He would never believe what they said. His Bai Ying was so good, how could she do something to bully people?
Ruan Xinrou even came to see him.
"Fourth Senior Brother..." she sobbed, "Fifth Senior Sister bullied me today. She stole the gift I was going to give you and even called me..."
"Shut up!"
In his memory, he furiously grabbed Ruan Xinrou by the neck and slammed her against the wall. The girl's slender neck trembled in his hand, and her usually pitiful face was now contorted with terror.
"If I hear you say another bad word about Bai Ying," he heard his own cold voice, "I'll snap your neck."
Large tears streamed down Ruan Xinrou's face, but he only tightened his grip. Only when her face turned pale did he release her in disgust, letting her slide to the ground and cough violently.
"roll."
The clearest memory is that moonlit night. He solemnly promised Bai Ying, "Even if the whole world is against you, I will stand by your side."
"Bai Ying, I know you better than anyone. These things can only be Ruan Xinrou's fault. At worst, I'll kill her!"
But those words still echoed in my ears when the betrayal came unexpectedly.
Memories abruptly twisted and fractured here. Yan Chiling only remembered that after a certain night, when he woke up, all memories of Bai Ying had vanished. The warmth of their daily interactions, the innocent vows they made as children, were all replaced by ugly lies—
"Bai Ying loves to bully Junior Sister Ruan the most."
"She's jealous that everyone likes her."
"She's a ruthless and vicious woman."
Yan Chiling didn't know what was going on either. From that day on, it was as if someone had transferred his feelings to Ruan Xinrou.
He fell madly in love with Ruan Xinrou.
His memories of Bai Ying seemed to have been forcibly dug out and stuffed with a wad of dirty cotton wool.
From then on, his eyes were filled with disgust when he looked at Bai Ying, and he felt only hatred when he heard her name.
"ah--!"
Yan Chiling knelt on the ground, letting out a beast-like howl. His ten fingers scratched at the hard bluestone, his nails curling and bleeding without him noticing. Each resurrected memory was like a poisoned dagger, stabbing viciously into his heart.
"No...this isn't real..."
He was terrified that these memories were real.
Because of the things he did later, he himself dared not even think about them.
Yan Chiling shook his head, trembling, tears mingling with blood dripping to the ground. Yet, the images surfaced with ever-increasing clarity—
He remembered cornering Bai Ying against a wall, his long sword pressed against her throat; he remembered calling her a "vicious slut" in front of the entire sect; the most painful memory was that rainy night when he pressed Bai Ying down in the mud and punched and kicked her, and she never fought back, only looking at him with her tear-filled eyes.
"Why...don't you resist..." Yan Chiling muttered hoarsely to himself, then suddenly seemed to understand something and his whole body trembled violently.
He never understood why Bai Ying looked at him like that until now, he finally understood...
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