Yan Chiling knelt on the cold ground, her whole body trembling violently.
His fingers dug deep into his hair, and the back of his hand, with its bulging veins, was covered with a liquid that was hard to tell whether it was sweat or tears.
Those once clear and cold eyes were now bloodshot, the pupils contracting violently, as if trying to forcibly dig out those terrible memories from the mind.
"No...this can't be..."
His voice was so hoarse it was barely audible, a metallic taste rose in his throat, and he spat out a mouthful of blood.
Memories flooded back like a tidal wave, each scene so vivid it was almost suffocating.
He never imagined that those sealed memories would be like this!
He and Bai Ying were never enemies; he clearly... clearly loved her deeply!
"how so?!"
Yan Chiling suddenly threw her head back and let out a heart-wrenching wail, pounding the ground in despair.
He recalled his almost obsessive infatuation with Ruan Xinrou when he first lost his memory.
The feeling was so intense, so undeniable, that he believed even if he lost his memory, his body's instincts would tell him who he truly loved...
That's why he was so convinced that the person he had always loved was Ruan Xinrou!
But the truth is so cruel!
He never loved Ruan Xinrou at all; the person he loved was clearly Bai Ying!
He actually believed Ruan Xinrou's lies completely, and treated the person he loved most as the enemy he hated most!
"ah!"
The images in his memory grew clearer, each detail like a knife stabbing into his heart—
It was a gloomy, rainy day. Bai Ying stood quietly outside the training ground, holding a plain white oil-paper umbrella, waiting for him.
The rain soaked the hem of her skirt, but she still stood there stubbornly.
"Fourth Senior Brother..." she called him softly, her voice filled with cautious expectation. She couldn't believe that her fourth senior brother, like the other senior brothers, had begun to side with Ruan Xinrou.
She said to him with a hint of grievance, "I didn't lie to you, I really didn't bully Junior Sister Ruan."
And how did he respond? He sneered, deliberately brushing past her, letting the cold rain soak her completely. When she tried to approach again, he slapped her hard across the face. "Get away from me, disgusting. This slap is for Xinrou! Xinrou is kind and won't hold it against you, but I won't! If there's a next time, I won't hesitate to kill you!"
And then there was that sect competition. Bai Ying's swordsmanship was clearly exquisite, but he secretly manipulated things, causing her to make a mistake. When she was defeated in a sorry state, he sneered in front of everyone: "Trash is trash. She even dared to dream of competing with Xin Rou."
He remembered that Bai Ying staggered slightly, but still stubbornly straightened her back. He could never forget that lonely figure.
What tormented him most was that snowy night. Bai Ying, worried he might be injured fighting the demonic beast, stubbornly stood outside his courtyard gate all night, just to bring him a bottle of healing medicine. When he finally opened the door, the first thing he did was smash the bottle of medicine onto her forehead. "What are you pretending to be kind for?" he remembered saying, each word dripping with venom, "Just seeing you makes me want to vomit."
"Aaaaaah—!"
Yan Chiling pounded his head frantically, each memory like a red-hot iron, leaving indelible scars on his soul. How could he... how could he do this to her?
Even more terrifying memories continue to surface—
That time, Ruan Xinrou falsely accused Bai Ying of stealing her jade pendant, and he dragged Bai Ying to the punishment hall without saying a word.
No matter how she explained, he ignored her. "Since you enjoy stealing," he sneered, raising the discipline whip, his voice filled with cruel pleasure, "then I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget."
Thirty lashes. He did it himself. Each lash was filled with twisted hatred, each one striking flesh.
He remembered that Bai Ying initially bit her lip and refused to make a sound, but later she couldn't help but cry out in pain and finally fainted completely.
Her back was a bloody mess, but even so, the first thing she said when she woke up was, "Fourth Senior Brother, I really didn't take that jade pendant..."
"I deserve to die... I deserve to be torn to pieces..."
Yan Chiling collapsed to the ground, tears mingling with the blood spilling from the corner of his mouth, spreading a shocking red stain on the bluestone slab.
He finally understood why his heart would ache inexplicably every time he bullied Bai Ying—it was the struggle of his sealed true emotions, the lament of his distorted love.
"No!"
He later suggested to Ruan Xinrou that she manipulate Bai Ying and turn her into Ruan Xinrou's puppet.
From then on, everything Bai Ying did was for Ruan Xinrou; all her efforts were to make a wedding dress for Xinrou.
He also planned to give all of Bai Ying's glory to Ruan Xinrou, and then let Bai Ying regain a brief period of consciousness so that she could see with her own eyes that all her efforts would become Ruan Xinrou's.
He wanted to drive Bai Ying to the brink of despair and to cause her unbearable pain!
What a cruel thing to do!
Yan Chiling couldn't even bear to think about what he had done to Bai Ying...
That was clearly the girl he loved most, the girl he swore to protect for the rest of his life, the girl he dreamed of marrying!
How could he do such a thing to her...?
Yan Chiling was going crazy just thinking about these scenes.
He dared not imagine what kind of torment Bai Ying would suffer if the plan succeeded—her cultivation, her desperate efforts, and all her hard work would become Ruan Xinrou's possession.
She could only watch helplessly as everything she had was taken away, like a puppet on a string.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."
He frantically tore at his hair, as if that would alleviate his inner torment.
The more he struggled, the clearer those images became: the look of utter disappointment in Bai Ying's eyes when she finally saw him.
Before she died, she was tortured by the ancestor and that group of Nascent Soul stage cultivators until there wasn't a single good piece of flesh on her body...
And then there's the image of someone coldly watching from the sidelines, even aiding and abetting the evildoers, helping them to kill Bai Ying...
Outside the window, lightning flashed and thunder roared, and rain poured down. Yan Chiling huddled in a corner, calling out helplessly like a lost child, "Bai Ying... Bai Ying..."
He curled up on the ground, calling out that name helplessly like a child. But this time, no one would answer him softly anymore. The girl who always smiled at him had been pushed into an abyss of no return by his own hands.
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