Chapter 16.016. [First Update] He paused, inexplicably feeling...
The road wasn't long; at He Yan's driving speed, it would only take ten minutes to reach the tenement building. However, noticing that Wen Xue had shaken off her previous gloom, he deliberately gave her the wrong directions, driving aimlessly through the night, the two of them circling the old city.
By the time Wenxue drove the car downstairs and parked it, it was already past midnight.
Seeing that her interest hadn't waned and her eyes were still bright, He Yan felt a little comforted. The words he said when he took her to her school dormitory in his previous life were sincere: "Life is long, live it well." If someone had to stay stuck in the same place and not move on, that person should be him, not her, who was only twenty years old.
"Get off the bus."
"Um!"
Wen Xue was still pounding with excitement and joy, unable to believe that she had actually driven back.
She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car, the cold wind blowing on her, but she didn't feel the chill. She quickly closed the car door, the wind ruffling her hair. Looking around, the entire building was dark, the only light source being the moon overhead, illuminating the road beneath her feet. He Yan, in the passenger seat, breathed a barely perceptible sigh of relief. Putting aside the bumpy ride, at least they were home safely. He reached out and carried the three children out of the car. The scene looked somewhat comical to her, and she chuckled. In the quiet night, even her soft laughter was so clear.
He emphasized, "Yours."
She mustered her courage and corrected, "It's yours."
Firstly, she already has several dolls in her room, and there are also cushions piled up on the double sofa, so there's no room for the three of them on the bed.
Secondly, they are neither pretty nor cute.
She didn't want to bring it home.
He Yan understood what she meant, remained silent for a few seconds, opened the car door, and put the three poor dolls back into the car.
Wen Xue stood aside waiting for him to lock the car. The two walked side by side toward the stairwell. Suddenly, she slowed her pace, looking slightly hesitant. Perhaps what the book said was true: impulses and courage can arise in the dead of night, especially at such a happy moment. She could feel He Yan's almost bottomless indulgence toward her, as if he would find a way to satisfy her no matter what she asked for.
When she was just a step away from the stairwell, she asked in a low voice, as if testing the waters, "Can I still try?"
He Yan looked up at the night sky. It was already past midnight. There was only one thing she needed to try: go to bed. "Of course I can, but it's too late now. Let's do it tomorrow."
"no……"
Wen Xue gently shook her head, probably knowing it wasn't good news, and said in a barely audible voice, "I wasn't talking about driving."
He Yan didn't hear clearly, "What?"
"cigarette."
He Yan thought he was hallucinating. He frowned and looked at her. What? Smoking? Had he misheard, or had she misspoke?
She seemed a little embarrassed, her neck hanging uneasily as she stared intently at her shadow on the ground. After a long silence of more than ten seconds, he gave in, stiffly reaching into his pocket to pull out a cigarette case and a lighter.
He had a lot of words stuck in his throat, but he couldn't utter a single one.
With mixed feelings, he took a cigarette from the pack and gave it to her along with the lighter.
Wen Xue looked up in disbelief, never expecting him to actually agree!
She beamed like a child who had just received a new toy, remembering the way he had accidentally seen her hold a cigarette. Eager to try it herself, she imitated him, holding the cigarette between her fingers, and asked curiously, "Is it like this?"
He Yan couldn't help but chuckle.
The next second, his smile vanished, because she opened her mouth, bit the cigarette butt, raised her eyes, and silently looked at him, as if asking, "Is that so?"
He paused, feeling inexplicably agitated.
What's wrong with young people these days? Can't they see the warnings on cigarette packs that smoking is harmful to their health?
Why try smoking of all things?
It was Wen Xue's first time trying this, so she was both excited and nervous. Her hand holding the lighter was trembling, as if she were doing something naughty, acting furtively and shaking. He Yan couldn't bear to watch any longer and said in a deep voice, "Give it to me."
She sensed that he was in a bad mood and thought he was angry. Without hesitation, she quickly took the cigarette out of her mouth and gave it to him, acting both obedient and submissive.
"I mean, give me a lighter."
"Huh? Oh, oh..."
He Yan urged her with his eyes, and she slowly approached him. With a click, a small flame burst open. He used his large hand to shield her from the wind, bent down and lit her cigarette. The firelight reflected the expressions on their faces—one was stern, the other gentle. He stared at her silently with deep eyes.
He agreed to let her try, but he didn't say he would teach her.
Wen Xue had no idea how to do it. The cigarette was lit, and she cautiously took a drag, her pupils contracting—
"Cough cough..."
"Cough cough cough cough!"
One sound after another, so loud it was earth-shattering, turned on all the motion-sensor lights from the first to the third floor. She coughed until tears streamed down her face, feeling as if her lungs were being burned and about to explode, a feeling of heart-wrenching agony.
Why does it feel so bad for her when everyone else enjoys smoking?
He Yan had intended to stand by and watch, but seeing her choking on the smoke and bending over in a disheveled state, he didn't think much of it. He grabbed her wrist, snatched the cigarette, and stubbed it out. He patted her back to help her catch her breath, and even through the soft down jacket, he could feel her thin and frail body.
"Want to try again?" he asked deliberately in a cold voice.
To some extent, He Yan is an older brother who lacks patience but is always willing to help his younger siblings.
But the thing he regretted most in both his lives was teaching He Heng how to swim.
At that time, He Heng envied others who could swim and begged him for a long time. He was so annoyed that he took He Heng to the swimming pool near his home. The child was bold and quick to learn. After swallowing water a few times, he was able to splash around happily in the water.
In the years that followed, he often thought about what if he hadn't taught He Heng to swim, He Heng would never have plunged into the water that night to save someone.
After a while, Wen Xue's eyelashes were wet with tears. She finally calmed down and gave him a weak smile. Her words were also intermittent. "That's how it is on TV... When the main character is upset and in pain, smoking a cigarette makes him feel much better."
So, she was fooled again.
She never wanted to smoke again.
He Yan's lips twitched. "What's shown on TV is all fake. Smoking and drinking are useless and have no benefits. Don't learn from them."
“But you…” she glanced at him quickly, “but you’ve been doing it all along.”
He Yan smiled, but his laughter was somewhat cold. "I'll quit in the future."
"When is 'later'?" she asked softly.
Unable to answer, He Yan remained silent for a few seconds, then instinctively changed the subject, "What else do you want to try?"
Wen Xue was exhausted and still a little dizzy. Ignoring the dirt on the wall, she took a few steps back and leaned against it. The cold wind blew through the stairwell, and her voice was weak and pitiful. "I was thinking... about whether I should go on a date and start a relationship with someone."
Pain is an emotion, but it can also become a seed.
She didn't want it to take root in her body, but she knew very few forms of entertainment. It seemed she had lost the ability to make herself happy, or rather, she had never had that ability.
Before she could even remember, her loving parents passed away unexpectedly.
The pain of parents outliving their children caused my grandparents' hair to turn gray, and their once robust health deteriorated. In my memory, the air in our house was always filled with the smell of medicine. As soon as the alarm clock rang, my grandparents would unscrew the bottle cap, pour the medicine into their palms, and swallow it.
During her monotonous adolescence, all the vibrant colors were painted on by He Heng.
At first, they weren't familiar with each other. Once, during an experiment, they were assigned to the same group. Their ideas differed, and they almost got into an argument. She was a little angry and didn't want to talk to him anymore. After the experiment class, she picked up her textbook and walked out. He Heng caught up with her and followed her wherever she went.
From that day on, he became her shadow, impossible to shake off.
Even a good student like He Heng would fight for her. The male students at school were alright, as the teachers kept them in check and they weren't too flamboyant. But those few young men from the streets outside of school always liked to follow her. After He Heng found out, he would pick her up from school and take her home every day. There were one or two times when he got into a conflict with them, and he would grab things and start fighting, completely reckless.
He said he would never let anyone bully her.
"Can."
These two words interrupted Wen Xue's reverie. She hastily looked up at him, "What?"
“You can try going on dates, shopping, watching movies, etc.,” He Yan paused for a few seconds and added, “but you still need to find a decent person. You need to have some requirements for him. At least he should have certain abilities so that he can protect and take care of you when something happens.”
Wen Xue listened to him speaking so seriously, wondering what he was talking about, and shook her head. "No, I still can't do it. Don't you think that would be very unfair and excessive to others?"
I don't think so.
"..."
This nonsensical conversation once again tickled Wen Xue's funny bone. She turned her head and chuckled softly. The longer you spend with He Yan, the more you realize that he occasionally says things with a dry sense of humor, which is nothing like the serious older brother He Heng described.
He is... very good.
He Yan didn't understand why she was laughing, but her tense body began to relax when she mentioned wanting a cigarette, and her tone became gentle: "It's late, you should go upstairs and rest."
"good."
Wen Xue straightened up. She always walked in front and he followed behind, and this time was no exception. However, when they reached the second floor, her curiosity had not completely subsided, and she couldn't help but ask the question she had wanted to ask for a long time, "What do you do when you're upset or in pain, besides smoking and drinking?"
"You want to know?"
"A little bit."
She spoke only a little bit, but her bright, smiling eyes conveyed a great deal.
He Yan glanced at her, somewhat helplessly. It seemed she was determined to stay up all night. If he had known this would happen, why would he have brought her back from the karaoke bar? Wouldn't it have been better to let her go crazy there?
"Come with me."
This time, he walked in front, heading towards the end of the second floor. Wen Xue didn't hesitate and quickly followed. One after the other, two footsteps with different strengths echoed in the corridor, one steady and one light. Before long, they arrived at He Yan's room. He took out his key and opened the door, and she stood on tiptoe to look in surprise.
Just as she was getting used to the dim light, the room lights were suddenly turned on. The light was so strong that it made He Yan's cool, refreshing aura even more intense, causing her eyes to sting.
"Shall we come in?"
He Yan rarely hesitated; he was always sharp and decisive. Yet, he couldn't understand why he would make such an absurd suggestion, bringing her to his doorstep in the early hours of the morning. This was inappropriate, considering that only one woman had ever been inside his room before: the cleaning lady, Aunt Zhang.
But even Aunt Zhang only goes in during the day.
Reason told He Yan that he should immediately send Wen Xue upstairs to sleep, but she rarely showed curiosity about anything, and he couldn't let her curiosity be disappointed.
Just this once, only this once, and never again. He thought somberly.
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