Chapter 89
Chi Qi held his head high and unfolded the note in his hand confidently, "Please tell a joke that will make everyone laugh~"
Just a joke, piece of cake!
He has a lot of little jokes hidden in the bottom of his box, and he wants to take them all out and make everyone laugh to death so that he can inherit their property!
Chi Qi asked with great interest, "Do you know why there are always pianos in the weird villas in horror movies?"
"Because..." He paused, then sang loudly, "Just now! I captured a few monsters! Hey! And! I subdued a few demons! Ha! Ghosts and monsters, why are there so many of them!"
Chi Qi finished singing happily, but turned around and found that everyone's expressions were equally calm.
He was surprised. “Isn’t it funny?”
Chi Sulu said with a bit of disgust, "Your joke is outdated. I have seen it many times when I was surfing."
The first time I see it, I will laugh out loud. The second time I see it, I can't help laughing. However, when it comes to the third and fourth times... there is no sense of surprise at all.
Although the other guests did not speak, one could infer from their expressions that the joke was indeed mediocre.
Chi Qi's desire to win was aroused. He thought for a moment and asked again, "Do you know how to say a chair in English?"
Chi Sulu replied, "A chair?"
Chi Qi shook his finger, "Nonono, it's abandon."
It was a pun that no one would have thought of unless they were seriously ill, but Qiao Yujing and Ye Man were afraid that he would frustrate the audience again, so they smiled out of courtesy.
Only two of them smiled.
[What a cold joke...it made me shiver in my bed. ]
[Luckily I have memorized the words, otherwise I wouldn’t understand the jokes. ]
[Have you memorized the words, or just the word abandon which is ranked first? ]
[abandon is no longer the first word. ]
[Hello teacher, my abandon has been in a bad mood since he came home. He didn’t eat much and didn’t talk. When I asked him, I found out that he had lost the first place to aback. ]
[As I get older, capital has started to support new traffic, and being second is also good. I look forward to abandon's new works. ]
[ah? Is your word circle so messy? ]
What's going on?
Not laughing yet? Shouldn't it?
Chi Qi rarely doubted himself, but he quickly put the idea behind him.
[As I said, life is not easy. Don't blame yourself if you can blame others. It must be that their sense of humor is too high and they can't understand what I mean. Anyway, it's not that my jokes are bad. 】
Chi Qi didn't want to drink bitter melon juice, so he planned to defeat them one by one, and first walked to Kuang Ye who was closest to him, "Why don't you smile?"
Kuang Ye said frankly, "I don't like to laugh by nature."
He positions himself as a cool guy, so his expression in daily life is always stern.
[Not a laughing person?] That's because you haven't met your prince. If you meet your prince, you will love to laugh. 】
"Master Kuang Ye hasn't laughed in ten years." Chi Qi thought for a moment, then turned to ask Qiao Yujing, "Do you know why?"
Qiao Yujing said cooperatively, "I don't know."
Chi Qi said, "Because a smile makes you look ten years younger, the young Master Kuang Ye doesn't dare to smile."
Kuang Ye, "..."
Seeing that he still had no expression on his face, Chi Qi said in a rhythmic tone, "Master Kuang Ye, smile a little. I really want to see you smile."
Kuang Ye's scalp was numb with embarrassment, and he stepped back, "Don't call me Master, your tone sounds like my housekeeper's."
No buddy, do you really have a housekeeper at home?
Chi Qi deviated from the topic and asked curiously, "Did he say that you are the first woman the young master brought home, a line like that?"
After thinking for a moment, Kuang Ye said, "He said that when the cleaning lady came to apply for the job."
[Oh my, it seems that the housekeeper has downloaded a lot of novels on his mobile phone. 】
Chi Qi sighed deeply, "Master Kuang Ye, are you still unwilling to show your angelic smile?"
Kuang Ye suddenly had a bad feeling. Before he could react, a sweet female voice sang along with a beautiful melody, "The smile of a super idol is not as sweet as yours, and the sunshine at noon in August is not as dazzling as you~"
The music was interspersed with Chi Qi's repeated requests, "Master Kuang Ye, Master Kuang Ye, Kuang Ye..."
It's like a spell to tighten the hoop, and it's extremely annoying to listen to.
Master Kuang Ye wanted to die, but there was nothing he could do. He succumbed to reality, a sneer appeared on the corner of his mouth, and he squeezed out the words from between his teeth, "I laughed, please let me go."
Stop picking on me and go and harm someone else.
Chi Qi didn't care whether it was a smile or a mocking smile, as long as he smiled, he clapped his hands with satisfaction, "Very good, the young master smiled, the young master finally smiled."
“…”
Kuang Ye’s desire to quit variety shows is becoming stronger and stronger.
[What a crazy and nonsensical variety show, I love watching it. ]
[Kuang Ye, I tried to make you laugh but you didn't. Now you have to laugh. It must feel bad to have to make people laugh. ]
[You'd better be one step behind me, my friend. I'm going to call my best friend over to watch this crazy variety show. ]
[My aunt, my husband, my cerebellum turned into a cerebrum, my brain turned into a date, my friend, don’t run away. ]
Qiao next to him was glad that he had laughed just now, otherwise he would be the one to suffer, because he was the one closest to Chi Qi.
There are still four people to be dealt with, and the dawn of victory is just ahead.
Chi Qi set his eyes on the next candidate and walked towards him with an arrogant step.
Zhou Yingnan was afraid that he would use a formula to say "The president hasn't laughed in ten years", so he quickly curled his lips and said, "You have successfully made me laugh."
Chi Qi was confused, "But I haven't started telling jokes yet."
Zhou Yingnan explained, "No need to tell me, I want to laugh when I see you."
Chi Qi touched his face. Someone said before that he looked poor, and now someone said that he looked funny. Did he look like a subordinate of the scoundrel?
Without much hesitation, he continued to move forward.
Lu Jinyue, who was standing at the side, was trying to take advantage of the situation. "Buxiaozi, why aren't you laughing?"
Jiang Bieshan retorted, "Big Laugh Man, just laugh if I tell you to laugh."
But when they saw Chi Qi coming, they closed their mouths tacitly and almost simultaneously revealed strange smiles.
【ah? I easily took care of two more people, leaving only my sister. 】
Having grown up together, Chi Sulu is used to Chi Qi's little tricks and has become immune to them.
She crossed her arms and said, "You know, I've been professionally trained and I won't laugh no matter how funny it is. Brother, get ready to drink bitter melon juice."
Chi Qi frowned and thought, he couldn't use conventional methods to deal with his sister, so he opened a certain audio app, clicked on the strange special effects and aimed it at Chi Sulu's face.
"You're so awesome, then sister, why don't you take part in the laughter-holding challenge held by a certain musical note and see how many places you can get?"
They didn't even make it to the finals. When the third bald guy forced a kiss on her, Chi Sulu couldn't hold it back anymore and burst out with a puff.
Finally, Chi Qi successfully made everyone laugh.
He marched forward, "Director, I have accomplished my mission."
Niu Kulu, "..."
It’s fine if it’s just embarrassing the guests, but why are they not sparing me either?
Never mind, it’s not important. What’s important is that the little activity before the meal is finally over. Niu Kulu said, “Congratulations to everyone for finishing…”
"Stop! I have something to say." Chi Sulu raised his hand to signal.
Niu Kulu stopped the topic and said, "You go ahead."
Chi Sulu put his personal interests above his own and reported him, "The note said to tell jokes to make everyone laugh, but Chi Qi used special effects to make me laugh, how can he be considered to have passed?"
Upon closer examination, it did not meet the requirements. Niu Kulu turned his head and looked at Chi Qi, "Do you have anything to say?"
Even a fair judge cannot settle family disputes, and even a fair director cannot resolve disputes. Let the two of them resolve it themselves.
There is no need to be too serious about variety shows. As long as they are effective and can make the audience happy, it is a success. Although disputes give him a headache, there are pros and cons as well as disadvantages. The audience often likes to watch dramatic things.
As expected, the number of barrages increased suddenly.
[Why do you have to make your brother drink bitter melon juice? ]
[The rich are treacherous, and Chi Sulu feels like the kind of person who would bully his younger brother at home. ]
[If the siblings really have a deep bond, they would not let their younger brother go on variety shows without caring about his image. ]
[…The parties involved haven’t expressed their opinions yet, and you’re starting a conspiracy theory. ]
Chi Qi howled, "Sis, I'm your biological brother, can't you just turn a blind eye?"
Chi Sulu was fair and just. "No, brothers should settle accounts clearly, and the same goes for siblings."
[I don't believe you, the sky is blue, the sea is deep, sister, you definitely have a purpose for what you say. 】
Chi Qi asked directly, "Sister, just tell me, what do you want me to do?"
"Make my bed tonight."
Chi Qi readily agreed, "Okay, I'm here to serve you, but the weather is too hot, is there any high temperature allowance?"
Chi Sulu waved his hand and said, "I'll give you an additional 10% on top of the original amount."
Chi Qi said respectfully, "No problem, leave it to me."
Chi Sulu nodded in satisfaction, and then said with a smile, "It's so funny, Director Niu, I succeeded in making you laugh."
Niu Kulu, "..."
Could you please be a little more perfunctory?
[What you thought were the wealthy siblings: scheming against each other, fighting to the death.
In reality, they are a wealthy family: they use bitter melon juice to force their younger brother to serve them. ]
[If you are not from the same family, you will not enter the same door. It’s a pity that I used to think that Ji Sulu was the representative of noble and cold female stars. ]
[But isn’t this unfair to other guests? ]
[What’s unfair about this? Jiang Bieshan and Lu Jinyue took the initiative to request the bitter melon juice, so they didn't have to be punished. It was just an interaction, there was no need to make a big deal out of it. ]
The staff brought over the freshly squeezed bitter melon juice, and Niu Kulu said with a smile, "If you want to drink, you can help yourself. There's plenty of it."
Chi Qi complained quietly.
[Freshly squeezed bitter melon juice without sugar is the hardest to drink. The tiny bitter melon particles will explode in the mouth like a bomb. It is very irritating and has a bitter aftertaste. It is more bitter than my life. I will pass out just thinking about it. Only a fool will drink it on his own initiative. 】
Then he just watched.
Fool number one, Jiang Bieshan, picked up the cup and calmly drank all the bitter melon juice.
Idiot number two, Lu Jinyue, was competing with him from the bottom of his heart. He followed his example and picked up the cup. As soon as he took a sip, he started to retch with his teeth bared.
Jiang Bieshan mocked him mercilessly, "You are tasting red wine, drinking it bit by bit."
Lu Jinyue said sternly, "I'm happy to ask you to take care of it."
Jiang Bieshan commented bluntly, "You have to endure the hardship without any effort."
Chi Qi looked at him with admiration.
[You can endure the bitterness of bitter melon juice without changing your expression. Brother, you will succeed in whatever you do. 】
The barrage was flooded with fans of the CP of Shan Yao and Lu Yuan.
[Let’s drink bitter melon juice together now, and then taste the bitterness of love together later. ]
[Steam and cook the same bitter melon juice and drink it when you get home. ]
[Young lovers should always do things in pairs. ]
[Drink a cup of bitter melon juice and enjoy it to my heart's content.] ]
[Why are all the comments coming from CP fans? What about wf? ]
[wf couldn't win over the CP fans, so she ran away in anger. She called on her sisters on Weibo not to watch the variety show. As long as they don't watch it, the viewing volume will drop, and no one will ask Jiang Bieshan and Lu Jinyue to appear on the show together in the future... I don't understand it. What a weird train of thought. Are they deceiving themselves? ]
No one raised any objections, which was cause for celebration. The little pre-meal activity was truly over.
Niu Kulu gave a closing speech and shouted, "Let's eat!"
[Great!] I want to sweep away hunger and be myself again! 】
A group of people rushed back into the house. After working hard outside for an entire afternoon, everyone was already hungry.
They sat around a round table, which was filled with home-cooked dishes, including more than a dozen plates of chicken, duck, fish and meat.
Chi Qi's eyes lit up and he immediately scooped up rice, and also served half a bowl for his sister.
After sitting down on the bench, he never raised his head again and just kept showing off his food, which made his cheeks bulge.
Others may still have some idol baggage, with their backs straight and their posture elegant, holding the bowl in one hand and the chopsticks in the other to pick up food, eating slowly and chewing carefully.
Chi Qi was completely different. He used his head to chase the bowl.
While enjoying his meal, he heard Niu Kulu say, "This is the last meal provided by the program team for everyone. After everyone has eaten and drunk their fill..."
Chi Qi's hands trembled, "Are you ready to go?"
[Hongmen Banquet, come here, take the silver needle and test the poison.] Protect the emperor! Protect the emperor! Someone wants to murder me. 】
"Let's welcome a new day." Niu Kulu finished the remaining words speechlessly. He clarified himself, "I am a director, not the King of Hell. At most, I will play a few tricks on you, but I will not harm you. Don't scare yourself."
"Oh oh." Chi Qi lowered his head with relief and continued to struggle with the delicious food.
Across the table, Ye Man whispered, "Stop serving me food. My bowl is full. I won't be able to finish it. It's not good to waste food."
Zhou Yingnan leaned over and whispered in his ear, "It's okay, eat as much as you can. If you can't finish it, you can give it to me."
The two of them were very affectionate, but Jiang Bieshan and Lu Jinyue next to them had a completely different style.
Lu Jinyue avoided any dish that Jiang Bieshan had touched, as if the other person's saliva contained a virus.
He did not hide anything, and his evasive behavior was too obvious.
Jiang Bieshan naturally noticed it, pursed his thin lips into a straight line, and then quietly picked up all the dishes at once.
When Chi Qi finished the rice in his bowl, he found Chi Sulu eating rice grain by grain. He muttered, "Sister, eat the vegetables. They are all delicious."
Chi Sulu said sadly, "I can't eat it. I want to lose weight."
"Ah? Lose weight?" Chi Qi said in confusion, "You can't eat beauty. Sister, you are pretty, but you can't starve. It's so uncomfortable."
Chi Sulu said, "Do you think I am a person of firm character? I need to prepare for the next play. The role has certain requirements on body shape in the early stage. I must be extremely thin to fit the character setting."
Chi Qi casually praised, "Sister, you are really dedicated, and I am also very brave."
"What are you brave about?"
Chi Qi smacked his lips and said, "Even though I know I'll get fat if I eat this meal, I'll still face the challenge."
【Today, I am also a food connoisseur(^-^) 】
“…”
Seeing that he was still putting food into his bowl, Chi Sulu tried to dissuade him, "Don't eat anymore. Experts say that you should eat until you are 70% full. Eating too much is bad for your health."
Chi Qi kept coming up with twisted ideas. He asked why experts recommend eating until you are 70% full, because you need to leave 30% for a midnight snack. However, the program team did not prepare any midnight snacks, so he had to eat 10% full. ”
[That makes so much sense that I am speechless.] ]
[Life is so short, only dry rice tastes good.] ]
[well! It was quite windy today. I wanted to go to the gym but it blew me to a milk tea shop. ]
[Hehe, if your brain can’t hold anything, use your stomach to hold it. ]
Chi Qi held the chicken leg and thought of the big rooster he had forgotten. "Is this braised chicken cooked with that big rooster?"
Niu Kulu replied, "No, it's from the same tribe."
Chi Qi bit the chicken and said incoherently, "Rest in peace. Tomorrow you can be reunited in my belly."
He was so focused on eating that he didn't notice the undercurrents surging under the table.
Lu Jinyue couldn't find any "clean" food, and he felt very uncomfortable and angry. He found the right opportunity and stepped hard on Jiang Bieshan.
You evil thief, take my kick!
Jiang Bieshan felt pain but did not show it on his face. He retracted his long legs and sat as steady as a rock. He even slowly picked up the two dishes closest to Lu Jinyue.
Lu Jinyue took this as a signal of provocation, his anger rising, and he raised his foot to strike again.
Who stepped on me? 】
Chi Qi raised his head slightly and didn't see any suspicious people. He thought that someone might have bumped into him accidentally, so he didn't pay much attention.
Lu Jinyue stared at Jiang Bieshan, and seeing that his expression did not change, he increased his strength and stepped forward again.
[Hiss, it hurts... Is my foot placed on the edge of danger? 】
Chi Qi paused while chewing the food, then swallowed the meat with tears in his eyes.
Lu Jinyue was extremely confused. This was strange. Was it because he didn't step hard enough?
He raised his foot and kicked again, using all his strength.
The legs of the bench shook, causing Chi Qi's body to become unstable, and the shrimp fell out before he could put it into his mouth.
Once, twice, but never three times.
He slammed his chopsticks on the bowl, his anger filled up, and he scanned the whole place with a sharp gaze, "Who doesn't eat well and always kicks me?"
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