Chapter 40 Two-in-one system: rolling, rolling, quacking, quacking...
Hey, wait a minute, didn’t the farmer who sells the chicken tell me to pluck some hair from the neck first, otherwise it will get dirty when I collect blood later?
Han Zhenzhen put down the knife and plucked the feathers on the rooster's neck, making it look like the chicken had alopecia areata on its neck, or as if it was wrapped in a flesh-colored scarf. Then she gestured to start cutting again.
A chicken can be killed but not humiliated!
The rooster cackled and struggled desperately, kicking and stomping with its two claws.
Han Zhenzhen used her hands and feet to press it onto the stone slab.
Song Ruan listened to the crowing of the rooster and looked out the window, but Han Zhenzhen had her back to her and she couldn't see clearly what was going on. She only saw that her back was relatively steady, so she didn't pay any more attention to it and instead focused her attention on the comic strip Han Zhenzhen gave her.
This is a book titled "The People's Martyr Bai Tongben" published in 1952. It tells the story of Comrade Bai Tongben who led the people in the anti-Japanese struggle and remained unyielding after being unfortunately captured. Although the paper printing is not as exquisite as that of later generations, the paintings are very vivid, the text is catchy, and the plot itself is thrilling. Song Ruan quickly immersed himself in it.
Han Zhenzhen held the rooster down with her knee and used her free hand to cut it with a knife.
Rooster: Cock——
It pushed with all its strength, and the precarious grass leaves snapped off.
Song Ruan raised her head and said, "Why does this sound wrong to me?"
The system was just seeing Bai Tongben being hidden by a fellow villager, and the enemy was about to come in to search him. The system was so nervous that the CPU was flashing, and it had no mood to care about other things:
What's wrong? It's normal for someone to make any sound when they are dying. Please turn the page. I have finished reading this side.]
Song Ruan thought the same and continued to devote herself to the story, no longer paying attention to the outside voices.
Seeing District Chief Bai being captured and tortured by the enemy, Yi Yitong was furious. He cursed as he watched, and was so excited that he wanted to get in and fight those bastards.
After reading about the heroic sacrifice at the end and being commemorated by future generations, Song Ruan was stunned for a long time. He threw the book on the kang, leaned on the windowsill, closed his eyes and raised his head to calm down.
Suddenly she felt the corners of her eyes getting hot, she reached out her hand and wiped them, and there was a bright red flow on her fingertips.
Song Ruan was stunned, stammering and trembling: "Am I really that devoted? Look, look, I am crying blood?"
The system was also immersed in emotions for a long time and couldn't get up the energy. It lazily scanned the yard.
[Oh shit!] ! 】
It came rushing in like it was hit on the butt by fireworks.
"Song Ruan——"
Han Zhenzhen finally couldn't bear it anymore and broke down and screamed miserably: "Song Ruan, come out and help me! This chicken, this chicken... ah wu wu wu!"
Song Ruan poked his head out in confusion, and his eyes, which were originally half-open, suddenly widened.
The originally tidy courtyard now looked like a murder scene, with chicken blood everywhere. A rooster with half of its neck cut off and its head drooping was flapping its wings and running, blood spurting all the way.
The donkey in front of the firewood shed was frightened and cried "Oh~Oh~" and moved inside. Its wide-open eyes were more lively than ever when it was brought back by Song Ruan. Seeing Song Ruan sticking his head out from the window, his head was tilted towards her and he was shouting for help.
Han Zhenzhen was confused and helpless. She instinctively screamed and chased with a knife in hand, but the chicken ran even faster.
It's a flickering red, burning your eyes like a fire in winter.
Song Ruan crawled down from the kang and rushed out to catch the raging fire.
When the chicken saw that there was another killer, it flapped its wings and leaped suddenly. Perhaps it was the huge desire to survive that burst out when it was on the verge of death, it actually jumped directly into the air and flew over the right wall.
The two men chased after it and saw the back half of the chicken flying in a parabola, brushing past the low fence of Grandma Sun's house and falling right in.
A scream was heard from the yard.
The two looked at each other. Han Zhenzhen was about to cry and said incoherently, "I, I, I, I really don't know how it could run so fast after its head was cut off."
Song Ruan hadn't come back to her senses yet: "This is my first time seeing this too."
Wu Jianguo slept until noon. The meal he had eaten last night had been completely digested. He touched his rumbling stomach and closed his eyes and instructed: "Wife, wife - let's buy some pork chops today and stew them with braised pork."
After shouting twice and no one answered, he frowned and sat up: "What are you so angry about again--"
Facing the low yellow earth wall, he suddenly remembered that he had traveled through time and now he was the wife.
What a fucking fuck.
He put on his shoes and walked out, cursing. Everyone else had gone to work, and there was no one inside or outside the house.
The kitchen was empty and there was not a single grain of rice left for him. The door of the cupboard was locked with an iron gate, clearly showing the precautions against him.
"You piece of shit, you really don't treat your wife as a human being." He cursed, and grabbed an axe. He pulled it out and chopped the cabinet with it. The thin cabinet door cracked open.
The second son of the Zhao family, who was serving in the army, would send back part of his allowance every month, so food was not scarce at home. There was a large bucket of cornmeal, half a basin of something like brown rice, a bag of wheat flour, half a sack of sweet potatoes and potatoes, and a basket of eggs in the bamboo basket on top.
He is not very good at cooking - how can a man cook? So he took the basket of eggs and planned to cook them.
After using up most of a box of matches, he finally managed to light a fire. He originally planned to put all the eggs in the basket, but after thinking about it, he decided to leave three - although this family did not treat his wife as a human being and did not even leave any food for her, he was willing to leave some for them out of kindness, hoping that they would be moved and reflect on their mistakes.
After filling his stomach in a daze, he moved a chair to sit in the yard and began to think about how he could get back.
No matter how poor or tired he is now, at least he has sex, internet, and games, and his wife takes care of the small matters at home. It would be fine if he could be a prince or emperor anywhere, but he ended up in this poor and shabby place where a few corn cakes are considered delicacies. The most important thing is that he, a grown man, became a married woman - bah!
He must go back!
After racking his brains to replay his journey through time and space, he finally had an idea:
He thought his wife had a problem, and during an argument he said that if he were someone else's wife he would definitely be better than her, and then he traveled through time. It looked like some idle bastard didn't believe him and threw him here to ask him to prove that what he said was true.
So if he really does better than his wife and becomes a good daughter-in-law, can he go back?
Just as he was thinking this, a chicken with its neck cut in half and bleeding suddenly fell from the sky and landed in his arms with a thud. The blood was all over the chicken and he was so scared that he sat down on the ground.
When he saw the chicken clearly, his eyes lit up: Was it a rooster that fell from the sky, or was it killed?
Does it mean that his idea was confirmed by God? As long as I am a good daughter-in-law, I can go back?
He was instantly filled with strength - what's so difficult about being a wife, isn't it just cooking and sweeping the floor? Only his wife is petty and quarrels with his mother and sister over trivial matters every day. It would definitely be different if he were to do it!
When he gets back, he can use his experiences during this period to educate his wife, so that she won't act like she has suffered a great injustice every day.
Just as he was thinking passionately, there was a sudden knock on the door. He opened the door and saw Song Ruan standing with her arms folded across her chest. His eyes lit up.
Although there has been an information explosion in later generations and there are a lot of beautiful girls on the Internet, but as I said, that is only on the Internet. It was the first time he saw such a beautiful girl in real life! And so close to him!
This small waist, this small face!
I was almost drooling on the spot.
Song Ruan had been secretly observing the expression of this time-traveling colleague since he opened the door. Noticing his wandering gaze, he frowned.
Seeing Song Ruan around, Han Zhenzhen, who was already feeling uneasy after causing trouble, quickly stepped forward and said, "Hello, Ye Zhiqing, we didn't do a good job when we killed the chicken, and accidentally let the chicken fly to your house..."
Wu Jianguo then noticed that there was another person in front of him. He looked at him with some impatience, and his gaze paused involuntarily.
Although Han Zhenzhen is not as beautiful as Song Ruan, her appearance is also very much in line with the aesthetic standards of that era.
She has a round apple face and round eyes. Her family is well-off and her cheeks are chubby. When she doesn't open her mouth, her princess-like temper is not revealed and she looks like a well-behaved little cutie.
This is good! The one in front is too coquettish and is only suitable for playing with. If you marry her, you may not be able to control her. This kind of obedient girl is the most suitable to be a wife, and she looks much more beautiful than his wife!
I didn’t expect there was such a beautiful girl in this remote place! And he said it was a special compensation given to him by God? Although he no longer has the tools, it’s still nice to be able to get some hands-on experience! Anyway, he is a woman now, so he is easier to approach.
It would be nice if he could take it with him when he puts it back on.
He thought happily, wiped his head, and lowered his voice: "Oh, that's the chicken you dropped. It's in the yard. I'll get it for you."
Han Zhenzhen had always heard about the great reputation of Grandma Sun's family, and thought that Ye Zhiqing would be somewhat affected. She did not expect that he would come back so easily, and was a little surprised: "Thank you."
Wu Jianguo handed the chicken over. The sudden flight into the sky seemed to have exhausted the chicken's last vitality. It was now dead, lying motionless with its wings drooping.
Han Zhenzhen quickly reached out to take it, but Wu Jianguo held on to the chicken and refused to let go.
Han Zhenzhen:?
He pretended to smile deeply, looked at Han Zhenzhen, and couldn't help but glance at Song Ruan with a distracted look, imitating the novels he had read: "Meeting is also fate, and today we can be considered to have met each other because of this chicken, why don't we cherish the opportunity given by God, get to know each other, and make friends?"
Han Zhenzhen's eyes almost popped out of her head and she almost blurted out "Are you sick?"
But thinking that someone had just helped her pick up a chicken, she finally held back.
His face turned red.
In Wu Jianguo's eyes, it was just because of shyness.
Look at this blushing little face, it’s simply tempting to take a bite!
I didn't expect that even though he has become a girl, his charm remains the same as before. He tossed his hair confidently, completely ignoring the fact that no girl had ever paid attention to him even when he was in kindergarten.
Help, this smell, this smell is too strong!
Before Song Ruan could say anything, the system started jumping and yelling in her head:
【no! no! I won't allow it! 】
[My friend, this bastard is actually a man at heart! Damn, the way his little eyes are moving around, it looks like he has bad intentions! ! ! 】
[Tell him to get out!] ! ! 】
[Round, roll, roll, roll, quack!] ! ! ! 】
The anti-semen system shouted at the top of its lungs, and its voice was so loud that it split its legs.
Song Ruan rubbed his ears: "Calm down, I know this man is not serious, I don't plan to make friends with him."
He shouted "get out" too quickly and the system, which had been "quack quack" all the time, paused. He suddenly realized that he was too excited and his image was ruined. For a moment he couldn't hold back and said it in a cold tone.
【Just you know】
Then he unilaterally exited the chat.
Seeing that the two did not respond, Wu Jianguo thought that he had flirted with them, so he took a step forward more confidently; "Two ladies, take it, let's just consider it as making friends."
"Sister, your mother's head!" A weak but sharp roar came from not far away, "Little whore, I won't be home for a while, and you're sending all the things in the house out. I must have been unlucky for eight lifetimes to marry a loser like you, and you dare to give me a chicken! Are you going to give the house away tomorrow?"
Everyone looked in the direction of the voice and saw that it was Mrs. Sun with gauze wrapped on her head. Her face was still a little pale, but her fighting spirit was high. A bullock cart was coming towards them, with a group of onlookers following behind in the distance.
Mrs. Sun stared at the chicken.
In fact, she recognized at first glance that this was not her chicken - her family didn't have a rooster! What's the point of raising a rooster? It can't lay eggs, loves to fight, and is aggressive when eating food. Only a fool would raise one!
But she was also confident even though she was not justified.
No matter whose chicken this is, no matter where it came from, she saw it clearly, and it was now in the hands of her unlucky wife and she was about to give it away - bah, why should she give it away? Whatever ends up in her yard is hers!
She saw that the chicken was big and fat, with a lot of chicken fat, and she could exchange it for two or three dollars!
Two or three dollars! ! !
Is such a good thing worthy of being eaten by those two girls? It just so happens that she was injured today, so she should take some good care of herself.
Although she was still a little dizzy, she instantly entered fighting mode when she thought about getting a big rooster. But even so, she still sat firmly on the ox cart.
——It usually costs two cents to ride this ox cart. Today she rode it for free both ways, so she earned four cents. If she gets off early, won’t she save a few cents? The old lady Sun couldn't bear this loss! She must be taken to the doorstep!
The captain had a stern face and was getting closer and closer to Song Ruan and the others, carrying the loudly cursing Grandma Sun on his back. He felt as if he was pulling a chattering goose on the cart, or as if he was playing a bully in a play who was looking for trouble with others, and he was the bully's driver, guard, or vanguard. He felt extremely unhappy.
The people who followed behind and watched the excitement whispered to each other: "This old lady Sun looks quite strong. She didn't get hurt even after hitting the tree. She must have an iron head, right?"
"Otherwise, why do they say that the disaster will last for thousands of years?"
"Then, what about her family member Weimin?" The person who spoke smiled and winked, "I can see that he couldn't even get up at that time."
Don't tell me, people nowadays have few entertainment activities, and it happened to be the off-season for farming. When such a big thing happened, quite a few people actually followed for three hours to the commune clinic to watch the excitement. Immediately, a fool who followed the whole process laughed:
"I didn't quite understand what the doctor said, but he said it was pretty serious and almost broke. I need to take good care of myself, otherwise it will be difficult in the future."
"Broken...broken?" Everyone around gasped. "My goodness, I've lived for so long, but this is the first time I've seen a living eunuch."
"No, no, no, it's not broken yet!" Er Laizi quickly denied.
It hasn't broken yet. If he lets it get out, Zhao Weimin will be in real trouble. What will he do if Grandma Sun blames him for the curse? He doesn't want to fight with this vicious old woman.
"Oh, that Liu Huo Guazi kicked me pretty hard."
"You're still calling me a widow, aren't you afraid someone will come up and kick you?"
"Hey, hey, hey, isn't this here?"
Grandma Sun only had the chicken in her eyes now. She could not hear the people digging at all and shouted, "Put your claws down!"
Wu Jianguo was a little unhappy about being humiliated in front of two beautiful girls who wanted to save face, but he kept repeating that he had to be a good daughter-in-law. This woman was his mother-in-law in terms of status, so he barely endured it: "This is their chicken. They didn't do it properly when they killed it, and it accidentally flew to our house."
"Bullshit!" Grandma Sun yelled, "It accidentally flew into our house. What a stupid thing. You can't even kill a chicken properly. How can you let it fly after cutting its neck? You killed our chicken and you still find such an excuse. Do you think I'm a fool?"
Thinking of what Party Secretary Zhao had done today, she turned around and asked the crowd who were watching the excitement, "Have you ever seen a fool who can kill a chicken?"
Everyone was stunned by the question, and looked at each other somewhat uncomfortably, but still answered:
"Indeed... I haven't seen it."
"My eight-year-old child doesn't even tell anyone to kill a chicken. Sometimes he can even catch a pheasant in the mountains..."
Han, the fool who killed the chicken, is no better than an eight-year-old child. Zhenzhen felt ashamed and embarrassed, and her face turned red.
This country woman is so short-sighted and vulgar!
Wu Jianguo felt humiliated and said in a tough tone, "Don't talk nonsense..."
Just as the carriage approached, Granny Sun jumped out, not looking like a wounded person. "Am I talking nonsense? These two educated youths have only been here for a short time, how can they raise such a big chicken! Have you been fooled by them? It's terrible, now these vixens are not only trying to seduce men, they even don't let go of other people's wives!"
She cried loudly.
this……
But not long ago, the police presented Song Ruan and Han Zhenzhen with a banner. The credibility of the government is very strong these days, and Mrs. Sun is used to making unreasonable demands. So even though Mrs. Sun had some point this time, most people still believed Song Ruan and the others.
"Is there some misunderstanding?"
"Maybe Song Zhiqing and the others exchanged with your wife, but they just didn't have the time to tell you?"
Change?
Granny Sun's eyes flickered. Compared to getting a chicken for free, getting a few dollars for free is of course the best. She changed the subject on the spot: "My wife is young, and you guys changed her when I was not at home. Who knows if you took advantage of the opportunity? I raise this chicken well, and I will never change it without five dollars!"
Five dollars!
It’s enough to buy six or seven kilograms of high-quality pork! This is a golden rooster!
Everyone gasped in unison again.
"This is too much!"
"What do you mean by open your mouth or not?" Mrs. Sun said with her neck stiff, "Look at my chicken, it's so well-fed and fat, and I'm still at a disadvantage! I don't care, this head has been chopped in half, you must pay!"
Wu Jianguo couldn't explain himself to the unreasonable old woman, so he turned to Zhao Weimin, who was lying on the cart pretending to be dead: "Zhao Weimin! Tell me, is this chicken yours?"
Zhao Weimin met Grandma Sun's fierce gaze and shuddered: "Wife, our family is ruled by our mother. Although these educated youth are your friends, it is not for us to decide on such a big matter as a chicken..."
Well, not only did he not admit it, he also attributed his behavior to helping his friend bargain up the price.
This thief! What kind of man is this!
Wu Jianguo almost choked.
Unreasonable! Unreasonable! Must Ye Xiang's head be filled with Ye Xiang to be able to marry into such a family!
Song Ruan sneered and said, "Grandma Sun, I respect you as an elder, but you can't be so disrespectful. This chicken was exchanged by Zhenzhen with half a can of malted milk from Uncle Wu's family at the village head. How did it become yours?"
She didn't say anything for a long time because she was worried that the chicken was exchanged by Han Zhenzhen on the black market. Although everyone knew about this, if you really started to argue about it, it would still be a tough nut to crack. What's more, Mrs. Sun was a difficult person, so she had to be careful.
I just asked her secretly and made it clear, so what is she afraid of?
Without waiting for Grandma Sun to make a fuss, she interrupted her spell with a louder voice: "I was in the toilet at the time. Zhenzhen was not very skilled at killing a chicken for the first time, and it did make everyone laugh, but it was indeed our mistake. There is chicken blood everywhere in my yard now. If you don't believe me, go and see! If this is really Grandma Sun's chicken, and she killed it for us, why is there chicken blood everywhere in my yard?"
As she spoke, she ran back and opened the gate. Thanks to the chicken's tenacity, the yard, covered with chicken blood, was particularly eye-catching.
"If you still don't believe me, let's call Uncle Wu over to confront him!"
The onlookers nodded unconsciously.
"Since that's what he said, it must be what Xiao Song said."
"Mrs. Sun just loves to mess around."
"It's this chicken-killing technique, hiss..."
"She's a city kid, she's never had sex, so it makes sense."
Seeing that public opinion was one-sided, Song Ruan curled the corners of his mouth and made a final righteous patch:
"Also, what's the point of exchanging money? We are exchanging goods for goods! We are good students of Chairman Mao, educated youth with a good family background. We will never do such a thing as cutting off the tail of capitalism!"
Who dares to say no to this?
Everyone immediately echoed: "Yes, yes, yes, we are all red five categories, we won't do such a thing as cutting off our tails!"
"Mrs. Sun, you too, what's the point of talking about money?"
Mrs. Sun originally wanted to stir the mess again - even if she didn't get the chicken, she had made such a fuss, so she should at least have a bowl of chicken soup. However, she was stunned by Song Ruan's words.
If Song Ruan doesn't cut off the capitalist tail, doesn't that mean she is the one with the capitalist tail!
This educated little whore is really black-hearted. She just wants to take advantage of someone, but this bitch wants to make her squat under the fence!
The team leader, who had just witnessed a fierce battle with the village party secretary Sun Po in the morning and had to take care of the aftermath, was exhausted both physically and mentally and had his eyes wide open. Before he could come back to his senses, several fights had already taken place on this side, and he was exhausted.
"Sun Po!" he roared, unable to bear it any longer. "Are you bored because you don't cause any trouble every day? When your head is healed, go to the village toilet and carry manure for a month!"
Mrs. Sun was not convinced and wanted to jump, but the team leader yelled even louder: "If you don't want to do it, go to another team. Our team doesn't want a rat like you! It's no use for you to find Zhao Sanzhu! I still have the power to decide this!"
Damn it, is it because the Buddha was angry that he didn’t burn incense during the ban on feudal superstition in recent years? Why does he write about bullshit every day? He saw that other production brigades didn’t do this!
Otherwise, I have to secretly go to the back hill tomorrow to burn some paper and pray, praying to the Buddha to keep the Dongfeng Brigade quiet. He is almost as bald as Zhao Nianmao!
Seeing that the captain was really angry and didn't even care about Zhao Sanzhu's face and said he would kick her out, Mrs. Sun dared not talk back anymore and just walked into the house with a sudden wave of her hand.
"Mother... Mother..." Zhao Weimin, who was left behind in the cart, shouted helplessly. When he saw Wu Jianguo, who was hugging his arms and sneering, his eyes lit up, "Wife... Wife..." Help me go back
Wu Jianguo laughed and pretended to be stupid: "I know my mother is the one who makes the decision. I will help you find her right away."
After saying that, he imitated Grandma Sun's actions, waved his hands, and walked into the yard without looking back.
What? Be a good daughter-in-law?
Let’s start tomorrow!
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