Chapter 64 Chapter 64 Xu Jun's Inferiority
The light in the dormitory was dim, and sometimes the blurred vision would even blur the hearing. Tao Ning was a little surprised when he heard Xu Jun's words, although he didn't quite understand the meaning.
Moreover, in the past eighteen years, Tao Ning did not feel that many people liked him. Instead, he was subjected to many pranks and embarrassing rumors.
Ever since he could remember, people had wanted to take his pants off. They'd said he was so delicate and tender, was he a girl? There were even rumors that he wasn't a boy at all, that he looked so good at such a young age, and that he might become Tao Chai's second wife in the future!
Tao Chai is his adoptive father.
Those sticky and wet gazes and hands wandered over his face. Looking back now, if Tao Yuan had not always protected him, Tao Ning might not have been able to escape from those malicious intents in the mountains.
But Tao Ning at that time was even less able to perceive the good and evil of others than she is now.
He stood there like a real piece of wood, with no emotion or resistance, staring at those stinking hands with an expressionless face. Those people were frightened by his stare and wanted to strip him naked in anger. It was Tao Yuan who came over with a knife and drove them away.
At school, some classmates pranked Tao Ning by trying to be his friend. When he refused, they called him a sissy and asked, "Who are you pretending to be?" They then stuffed dead mice and bugs into his desk. To their surprise, Tao Ning wasn't afraid of them. Instead, they buried them in the ground, hoping they would rest in peace.
Coming back to her senses, Tao Ning said, "Not many people like me."
But he hid one thing, someone loved him, but he couldn't say it out loud.
Xu Jun looked at him for a long while, then forced a faint smile, closed his eyes, and without saying anything else, helped him carry all three bags into the dormitory.
The dormitory remained exactly as it had been before Tao Ning left. Even her quilt was folded into a tofu-like shape. The desk was neatly arranged, spotlessly clean. The air was faintly scented with disinfectant. Tao Ning hesitantly asked, "Are you okay with your injury?"
Tao Ning was filled with worry and guilt when she mentioned this. She couldn't forget the look Xu Jun gave her when they last left the club, the one where he was pinned to the ground, bloodied but defiant.
Tao Ning considered Xu Jun both a capture target and a close friend. Even without this capture mission, he would have wanted to be friends with him. He was the only one who understood the obscure mathematical formulas he spoke of, and the only one who supported all his ideas.
A true friend in life is hard to come by, and Tao Ning cherishes their friendship very much.
But...Xu Jun is also his target, as are the other two.
After a long time without receiving a response, Tao Ning realized that Xu Jun's eyes had been fixed on the watch on his left wrist.
".......What's wrong?"
After a moment, Xu Jun withdrew his gaze and said lightly: "It's okay."
Leaving Tao Ning behind, he turned and went to the bathroom alone. With a soft thud, he leaned against the wall, his usually straight back suddenly bent. He raised his hand, and there were four red marks on his palm, almost carved into his flesh, left by his clenched fists in an effort to control his emotions.
He had seen a wealthy businessman wearing that Patek Philippe. It was a limited edition, with no more than 20 made worldwide, and the open market price was over 4 million yuan. Back then, Xu Jun was younger and more proud than he is now. He thought it was just 4 million yuan. Ten years later, he would surely become a business tycoon with a net worth of over 100 million yuan. So, at that time, he never felt inferior about the 4 million yuan brand watch.
But now, a deep sense of powerlessness and humble self-loathing enveloped Xu Jun.
There are so many people who like the person he secretly loves, and he is the most ordinary and helpless one among them.
Tao Ning should be held high with countless gold, silver and jewels, and be kept in a luxurious villa and pampered - he was born to be pampered, instead of living in a small house without even a bathtub ten years ago just because Haizhou is so expensive.
His little lemon shouldn't have to sleep on rough sheets.
But no matter whether it is a gold bracelet or an expensive watch...Xu Jun can't give Tao Ning anything now except working hard to earn money to save for her future surgery. Maybe Tao Ning doesn't need his money at all, because there will be countless people vying to pay for everything for Tao Ning.
But he, Xu Jun, had nothing.
Leaning against the smooth wall, letting his clean clothes get covered in dust, Xu Jun slowly squatted down. He had never felt so inferior before.
Once upon a time, he was full of vigor and vitality and did not know the sorrows of youth.
Because he grew up with countless praises such as "genius" and "other people's child". In fact, he was indeed so. He ranked first in the grade for eleven years. He was predicted to be the provincial champion by Oxent. He taught himself and studied finance and criminal psychology courses. He was the youngest first prize winner in mathematics, physics and chemistry Olympiad. He was also very talented in literature, well-versed in ancient and modern times, and had profound attainments in calligraphy.
Xu Jun didn't even take a penny of the bonuses he had received since he was a child, but donated them all to poor areas.
He was admitted to the junior class of Peking University and Tsinghua University when he was thirteen years old, but because his mother hoped that he could experience everything a normal student would experience before college, integrate into the ordinary world, and not become an arrogant and cold-blooded person, Xu Jun refused to enroll and did not skip a grade. Instead, he completed eleven years of study step by step. Otherwise, he should have graduated from HBS with a postdoctoral degree long ago.
For more than ten years, Xu Jun has never liked or loved anyone, because the success and acquisition of many things are easy for him. He does not need to like or love anyone. He is already filled with pride and indifference in his bones.
Until he met Tao Ning, the boy's smile was clean and beautiful, his heart was innocent, and the way he lowered his head to read a book was as quiet and beautiful as a painting. It would not be an exaggeration to praise him with the most beautiful poems in the world.
Xu Jun's heart was beating silently and wildly for everything Tao Ning did. He suddenly realized that the feeling of liking and loving someone was so wonderful. It was just that his little Lemon was so stupid that he couldn't see how many people were coveting him. Those dark eyes only wanted to keep him for themselves, including Xu Jun.
Xu Jun once arrogantly thought that he was bound to win, but now he realized that compared to those rich and powerful competitors, he had nothing and could not give his little lemon anything, so that deep inferiority and unwillingness almost broke him down.
At the same time, the hatred for Tao Ning's despicableness grew wildly like vines emerging from the flesh of a poisonous snake.
Xu Jun hated Tao Ning for being clueless about his love for him, hated the people who liked him one after another, hated his wooden personality, and even more hated his debauchery and frivolity not because of him!
Didn't he know his lips were already swollen and red? A slight touch would make them wet, right? Didn't he know how much he hated the sobbing voice that spilled out of his phone that day?!
Xu Jun reached out his hand with an indifferent expression. Ten minutes later, as if in self-torture, he ended all the hideousness.
The cold water washed away the turbid liquid on his hands. Xu Jun looked at the person in the mirror. His expressionless face on normal days was now distorted by jealousy and inferiority. The coldness and arrogance in his eyes were now replaced by lust wrapped in hatred, so that they were very red.
With a loud bang!
Xu Jun gasped and shattered the mirror with one punch. The bathroom door flew open. Tao Ning saw his bloody hands and frantically grabbed his arm. "What happened, Xu Jun? ...Does it hurt?"
Xu Jun remained silent.
Veins bulged on his sturdy arm. Tao Ning touched him lightly, and Xu Jun let him grab his arm in panic. He also followed Tao Ning and left the place where the mirror was broken.
Tao Ning asked Xu Jun to sit in front of her desk, then rummaged through the drawers to find bandages and abrasion medicine, and carefully treated his wounds with cotton swabs. All five slender fingers were abraded, but fortunately the wounds were not large. Tao Ning carefully applied the medicine and finally tied it up with a bandage.
Tao Ning breathed a sigh of relief and looked up, only to be met with his deep, dark eyes. Xu Jun had been more silent than ever since he entered the dormitory, and he felt a little flustered by such a calm gaze.
why is that?
After a long moment, Xu Jun finally broke the silence. As if in slow motion, he pulled his injured hand from Tao Ning's arms and asked calmly, "My dad asked if you'll be back with me this weekend?"
Tao Ning was stunned for a moment. It should be okay for him not to go back on the weekend, so he nodded.
"Well... for now."
"......ah?"
When Tao Ning followed Xu Jun out of the subway station, he was still a little confused and hadn't come back to his senses. But this time Xu Jun didn't hold his hand, but took his medicine.
"Let's go." He said with a cold expression.
Tao Ning didn't understand what was going on, so she had to continue following him up to the residential building.
But neither of them noticed that a Honda had been following them. The person in the car finally couldn't help smoking and watched them disappear at the stairs with cold eyes. The red dot on the screen also stopped in one place and flashed.
Tao Ning had wanted to greet Xu's parents and ask about Xu Jun's recent situation, but when she entered, she didn't see them. Xu Jun said, "They're on vacation."
So it's just the two of them this weekend? Tao Ning nodded blankly.
After settling Tao Ning in the room, Xu Jun went to the kitchen to cook. The only sounds in the small house were the chopping and cooking. Silence spread between them. Tao Ning was not a talkative person. He actually wanted to say something to Xu Jun, but after seeing his eyes, he was speechless.
Xu Jun prepared a table full of dishes, all of which were rather bland. Tao Ning took a bite and was reminded of Zhao Jingqun's meals. Men tended to cook in a variety of ways, switching up their dishes, while Xu Jun's meals were more homely, and you could tell the ingredients at a glance.
"What are you thinking about...Tao Ning?"
Tao Ning snapped back to reality, dropping the vegetables he was holding with his chopsticks. Xu Jun stared at him, as if seeing through him completely. Behind his gold-rimmed glasses, his eyes were as calm as ever, yet Tao Ning sensed a hint of sadness.
He suddenly realized that his previous thought was too cruel to Xu Jun.
After a long silence, Xu Jun said, "Do you remember the letter I gave you on Valentine's Day? You can open it after you get home today."
On Valentine's Day, Tao Ning wanted to open the kraft paper envelope engraved with the White Magnolia seal on the spot, but was stopped by Xu Jun. He said that he should open it after going home with him next time. Since then, Tao Ning even forgot about it until Xu Jun mentioned it today, and he finally remembered it.
A sour taste rose from the root of his tongue, and Tao Ning said "hmm" cherishingly.
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