Chapter 68 "It's not like the youthful days.
Tuoba Xun's eyes trembled, and an indescribable panic surged in his heart.
"When we were young, we were ignored and bullied, but even so, we were only humiliated and beaten. But later... you were self-righteous and tried to please Tuoba Lu. Yes, you got benefits, were trained as a disciple by a wise man, and walked on the road to the sun, but what about me and my mother?"
Tuoba Xun froze, staring at Nan You with dull eyes, only to see the latter looking away, unwilling to look at him.
Tuoba Xiao's words rang in his ears, clear and profound: "You are valued, they dare not bully you, but they are jealous and envious, so they vent all their anger on me!"
"Tuoba Xun, do you know? My nails were pulled out one by one, I was forced to eat shit and drink urine, crawl like a dog, there is not a single piece of good meat on my body..." Tuoba Xiao grabbed Tuoba Xun's neck, gritted his teeth, and said word by word: "Do you still remember A Yuan?"
Tuoba Xun did not struggle, and a girl's face appeared in his mind.
He remembered that she was the daughter of a doctor, a few years older than them. When they were bullied, she would quietly apply medicine to them and scold that group of people with red eyes. She was a kind and soft-hearted person.
Later, Tuoba Xun became the clan leader and wanted to thank her for her help back then, but he could not find the father and daughter. There was not even any news about them, as if they had disappeared from the face of the earth.
Tuoba Xiao's face was hideous and ferocious, his hands were strong and he roared hysterically: "They raped her in front of me! They killed the father and daughter!!!"
Tuoba Xun's pupils suddenly shrank, and he ignored the severe pain in his neck and stared at Tuoba Xiao in amazement.
"I... like her." Tuoba Xiao said in a trembling voice, his eyes were red, but his gaze was as ferocious as a mad beast, full of hatred and hostility.
"Xiao'er!" Nan You shouted hurriedly when he saw Tuoba Xiao losing control.
Tuoba Xiao then let go of his hand, took two steps back, and said word by word: "This is your protection. When you were still young, we took all the pain and torture for you. Do you think... we should hate you?"
Tuoba Xun panted rapidly, looked at Nan You with dull eyes, pulled the corner of his mouth, and said in a hoarse and unpleasant voice: "What about you?"
Nan You pursed her lips and said, "Since Tuoba Lu values you, I will naturally rise to the same level. However... Xun'er, his sexual fetish is brutal. I managed to escape from him with great difficulty, but..."
"But because of me, you fell into the abyss again." Tuoba Xun's Adam's apple rolled and he said in a hoarse voice: "Is that right?"
"Not only that!" Tuoba Xiao cursed viciously: "After my mother was favored, other cheap women used all means to bully and belittle my mother! My mother... is obviously a noble princess."
Tuoba Xun's eyes were empty and he was about to speak, but he only heard Nan You say softly: "Aniang doesn't really care about these, but..."
"Xun'er, Nanzhao is my hometown and my childhood dream." Nan You's voice was still gentle, but the words he said made Tuoba Xun shiver all over, "Why did you team up with Dasui to destroy my hometown?"
“Why do you want to befriend Chu Mo Jingce? They killed countless Nanzhao soldiers and my father’s relatives. They are our enemies!” Nan You suddenly shouted: “Why do you want to befriend them? ! ! ”
For a moment, his heart seemed to be grasped by a huge hand, his breathing became rapid and he could not breathe. Tuoba Xun tried his best but still could not stop trembling. His eyes, which were usually bright and shining, were red, but empty and lifeless, without a trace of light.
"So I... deserve to die." He murmured softly, staring at them with dull eyes, his voice hoarse: "You want me to die to atone for my sins?"
Tuoba Xiao raised his hand and threw a sword in front of Tuoba Xun with a clang. He said in a faint voice: "Kill yourself."
Nan You frowned and disagreed: "Xiao'er, house arrest like this will do."
"Aniang, do you mean to keep him under house arrest?"
Nan You: "As long as he doesn't leave the Kaituoba tribe."
After the words fell, Tuoba Xiao hadn't replied yet, but a burst of arrogant laughter was heard. The sound was so loud that it even reached outside the tent. However, it was not hearty, but rather contained unspeakable sadness and irony.
Tuoba Xun laughed until tears oozed from his eyes, his eyes calm and sad: "Do you know what I like?"
Tuoba Xiao sneered: "Besides power, I can also..."
"Freedom." The voice was very light. Tuoba Xun looked outside the tent, yearning and expecting: "I just want freedom."
"It's a fool's dream!" Tuoba Xiao sneered.
Tuoba Xun said nothing more, but lowered his eyes, not knowing what he was thinking.
Nan You looked worried: "Xun'er, be obedient and stay here. Don't go anywhere."
Tuoba Xun remained silent.
Tuoba Xiao and Nan You looked at each other, turned around and left. As soon as the curtain was opened, the young man behind them asked, "Mother, do you hate me?"
The answer was clearly visible, but he still asked out loud without giving up, like the last straw, or like... the last snowflake before an avalanche.
"Mother liked Xun'er when he was young." Nan You said without turning her head.
Tuoba Xun looked at the departing figure and chuckled softly.
I like Xun'er when he was young, in other words... I hate Tuoba Xun now.
He glanced at the wine jug beside him, grabbed it, and drank it down with his head tilted back.
The wine stains slid down along with the tears from the corners of his eyes and hid under his clothes, leaving no trace.
Tuoba Xun thought about the conversation just now over and over again, as if torturing himself.
Yes, he thought he was powerful, he thought he protected them, he hypocritically gave everything for his family, but in the end he hurt them like this.
What has he done all these years?
Now, it's all ridiculous.
He drank bottle after bottle of wine, and the ground was filled with empty wine jugs. His eyes drifted to the long sword not far away, and his gaze was fixed, staring straight at it.
I don’t know how long it had been, maybe a few hours, when suddenly there was a noise outside the tent, followed by the sound of people falling to the ground.
Tuoba Xun looked over and saw a man in black approaching: "Master Xun, my name is Chu Lei, and I'm here to pick you up."
"Chu Wei?" Tuoba Xun's voice was so low and hoarse that it was almost inaudible. He shook his head helplessly: "Chu Wenxi..."
Chu Lei could clearly see that something was wrong with Tuoba Xun, and frowned as he said, "Your men have all escaped. Now that our goal has been achieved, Master Xun should leave."
Tuoba Xun nodded, his mouth corners raised, his smile as flamboyant as ever: "Yes, let's go drink with Chu Wenxi early."
Chu Lei breathed a sigh of relief almost unnoticeably.
"You go out first. I'll change my clothes. By the way..." He curled his lips coldly and said word by word: "Create some trouble for them."
Chu Lei sighed, saying that he was indeed Master Xun, and turned to leave.
The room was empty. Tuoba Xun stood up shakily, walked to the desk, and scribbled two letters. On the envelopes were two familiar names - Jing Junze and Chu Wenxi.
After writing the letter, he returned to the bed, picked up the sword and made a sword flower.
The sword light flashed by, as if severing some bad karma, or as if recalling the unruly world of martial arts that could never be returned to.
His eyes are bright, just like a young boy who first entered the world of martial arts, full of vigor and vitality, and free and easy.
He lightly tapped the silver sword, and a "ding" sound was heard, so crisp and clean, it was like a hymn.
He lowered his eyes to look at the reflection on the sword. In an instant, a scene seemed to appear before his eyes: three young men standing back to back, trapped but chatting and laughing. He also heard a familiar voice in his ears.
"Liu Xun! Say it again, I didn't steal the roast duck! It was clearly Chu San who stole it!!"
"No, no, no! I don't have any. Who wants to eat your roast duck? I can't buy it myself?!"
Tuoba Xun laughed, his eyes full of nostalgia.
His voice was low and deep, with a hint of laughter: "Reeds cover the sandbank, cold sand carries shallow currents. I have been to the South Tower again after twenty years. The boat is still not stable under the willows. How many days will it take for Mid-Autumn Festival to come again."
"At the Yellow Crane's Broken Rock, is my old friend still here? The old mountains and rivers are all filled with new sorrows."
He paused, raised his eyes and looked outside the tent, which was the direction of Dasui, his eyes were filled with sadness.
"I want to buy osmanthus flowers and carry them with wine, but it doesn't feel like... a young boy's trip."
Raising his hand and placing the sharp sword across his neck, Tuoba Xun said softly: "Mother, you gave me your life, and now I will return it to you."
——From now on, we will owe each other nothing.
A teardrop fell on the sword, emitting a cold light, but he smiled and said helplessly: "It's a pity that I didn't have the chance to see Jing Junze again."
However, without him in the future, the two of them can march to the grassland without any worries, and can finally be with their loved ones. Thinking about it this way, it couldn't be better.
His life was a complete failure. He was despised and hated by his relatives. His life was not satisfactory.
If there is an afterlife, he only wants to be a free and unbridled wild wolf, unrestrained and feared by others.
Oh, yes, I must meet those two dear friends again.
"Chu heard about it, Jing Junze."
"Chu San, bamboo bundle..."
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
