Chapter 5: It hurts, it hurts so much
Pei Weixue thought he didn't need any external emotional support, but after meeting Su Yin, it was Su Yin who showed him with her own actions that he had someone to rely on. It didn't matter if he wasn't good at designing, because there were professional color palettes to help him. When he was in a bad mood, there were people to comfort him, and the cold war never lasted more than half an hour.
Su Yin cared more about his three meals, his health, and his mood than he did.
Later, it was Su Yin who broke the dream he had created for him.
But now, Su Yin actually held the medicine bottle and asked him in a familiar tone if he had taken the medicine again.
Those sleepless nights and the heart-wrenching arguments left him exhausted, with only one thought left.
Don't look back.
"Go away." Pei Weixue did not answer him and said while suppressing her emotions.
"Where am I going?" Su Yin stood up, turning around anxiously. "You can't eat anymore. It doesn't matter if it relapses. I'm here with you." He tried to be gentle as he approached Pei Weixue. "I don't remember doing those things. You can think of me as having amnesia. Anyway, if you let me go like this, I won't accept it."
Pei Weixue glared at him, "Then what do you want?"
Su Yin answered quickly, "At least let me stay with you to control your condition. Xue'er, don't give up on yourself. You want to be an IT elite. You've won a web design award, so you should keep designing."
"I have my own studio now." In other words, he no longer needs to do the basic designs himself. His employees can do them and he can just review them. Pei Weixue wanted to tell Su Yin that no matter what happens, it won't affect his work. Unexpectedly, Su Yin's eyes lit up when he heard that he had a studio. "Wow, Xue'er, you're amazing. I knew you would be great."
Pei Weixue often heard these exaggerated and flattering words six years ago. When Su Yin said them, it didn't sound perfunctory and he seemed to be genuinely happy for him.
He hadn't heard the nickname 'Xue'er' in six years. How ironic. No matter how hard he tried to keep Su Yin's heart, he couldn't. Now that he had given up, Su Yin wanted to win her back. He even pretended to have amnesia, a melodramatic plot.
"Can I go out?"
The order to leave was issued again and again. Su Yin stared at the back of Pei Weixue's head, reaching out to touch her fluffy hair but then retracting his hand. After thinking it over again, he turned around and left. He couldn't make Pei Weixue unhappy, otherwise he would have to take medicine again.
The moment he turned around, Pei Weixue behind him turned his head.
After leaving the guest room, Su Yin rubbed his aching head with both hands. He didn't know what was going on. Could it be that the 26-year-old Su Yin really didn't love Pei Weixue anymore?
The nerves in his skull were tearing and throbbing with pain, again and again, spreading to his scalp. The pain made him frown, and many images flashed by, so fast that he couldn't catch them.
Assuming that he no longer loves Pei Weixue at the age of 26, then, does my mother know? My mother likes Pei Weixue very much and almost loves him as her own son. He has done so many bad things, how does my mother see him?
"Xue'er, I can't get through to my mother on the phone. Can you ask her if she's asleep?" Su Yin thought that his mother might not answer his calls because of his ridiculous behavior.
In the study, Pei Weixue said with her back to him, "You've blocked us all. How can I get through?"
Su Yin: "?" He stood at the door of Pei Weixue's room again, "How could I possibly block you and my mother?" He was so filial, his father would probably come out from underground to beat him up, right?
Pei Weixue came out, and before Su Yin could even smile, the door slammed shut. A gust of wind blew across his bangs, and he walked helplessly into the living room, looking around.
There was a fish tank on the balcony, but it was already empty. The two small carp he bought must have died within six years. He looked at the empty tank with a bit of despair. What if...
If he just lost his memory, and he really cheated on his wife, really didn't love Pei Weixue, quarreled with his mother, and snatched his brother's partner, then how did he become like this? Although emotions change rapidly, at least his feelings for his mother will not change.
His father died early, and it was very hard for his mother to raise him alone. He never had an argument with her. Even during his rebellious period, he would just draw some weird clothes for homework. When the teacher asked to call his parents, he would immediately slide down to his knees.
No matter how far he took, he could not accept that he had done what Pei Weixue said.
I went to see my mom first. Fortunately, she lived across the street.
Standing at the door, he knocked expectantly, hoping his mother would come out and tell him that it was all fake, an April Fool's joke.
Knock knock...
After knocking for a long time but no one opened the door, he stood at the door waiting and called his mother several times but no one answered.
More than half an hour later, there was a sound from the elevator. He looked over and saw Su Qingyue walking towards him with a bag of vegetables on her arm. She saw him and opened the door directly.
"mom."
Su Qingyue ignored him and opened the door to go in. Su Yin blocked the door with her hand and said anxiously, "Mom! Don't you want me anymore?" He saw the white hair on his mother's temples and his eyes instantly turned sad and aggrieved. "I really... don't know what I did. Xue'er doesn't want me, and you don't want me either."
He was in pain all over his body, but the pain of his heart was nothing compared to the pain of being abandoned by his loved ones. "Mom."
Su Qingyue turned sideways and walked into the kitchen with the vegetables, silently putting them into the refrigerator. There was also a small bag of kiwis. She took out the juicer, sat at the dining table and peeled the kiwis, then put one into the juicer.
"Mom." Su Yin put his hands in front of him and stood beside Su Qingyue with his head down, "Mom, let me do it." He wanted to get the paring knife, but Su Qingyue moved her hand away, and he retracted it.
"Didn't you play dead so well yesterday? Why are you telling me all this again today?" Su Qingyue glanced at him and continued peeling. Yesterday, Su Yin fainted in the hospital, and the doctor said he just fell asleep and would be fine after getting enough sleep. She was furious.
"I'm really not pretending." Su Yin dragged the trash can over and dumped all the skins in it, then went to get a glass of water. "Mom, you might not believe this, but I was twenty yesterday, and now I'm twenty-six."
Su Qingyue glared at him. "You've been lazy and gluttonous these past few years. First, you stayed at home, never working, never going out. Later, for that He Nan, you worked for him for free, drawing designs. Now you want to simply forget and get away with it?"
thump.
Su Yin knelt down quickly, holding his ears with both hands to admit his mistakes. He felt aggrieved, but since his mother said so, he must have done those things. He should admit his mistakes first and not make his mother angry again. "I..."
He held it in for a long time before he reluctantly uttered the words "I will change." No matter how you looked at it, it was impossible for him to do such a ridiculous thing.
Firstly, although he has no father, he has a mother and is well-educated. He would never do such a stupid thing as cheating on his brother or making his mother angry. Secondly, he has always wanted to open a studio of his own, so how could he work for someone else for free? Finally, he just confessed his love to Xueer and they just kissed. This is not the way the feelings should fade away.
It doesn't make any sense logically, and judging from their descriptions, it seems more like they were under a spell.
"I don't believe you will change. Go get the ruler. I'm going to teach you a lesson today, you licking dog!" After peeling all the kiwis, Su Qingyue turned on the juicer and turned back to glare at Su Yin.
Su Yin shrank his head. He felt like a turtle. If he stuck his head out, he would be stabbed once. If he retracted his head, he would be stabbed hundreds of times. The key point was that he didn't want to be a coward. Before those things were clarified, he had to make up for it as much as possible.
To make up for the mistakes he had no memory of.
He walked out of the bedroom holding a ruler and knelt in front of the tablet in the living room.
Su Qingyue lit three incense sticks first, muttering, "Old Li, today I'm going to break my vow and beat your son. If you're still alive and seeing this, just close your eyes and don't look."
She turned around, took the ruler, and held it high. All the ridiculous things Su Yin had done in the past six years and Pei Weixue's careful care appeared before her eyes. She closed her eyes and hit him hard.
"Hmm..." Su Yin let out a muffled sound of pain, gritting his teeth, "I was wrong!" Every time he was hit, he admitted his mistake, and his back felt like it was burning.
"What's wrong?" Su Qingyue asked.
Su Yin wanted to say that he didn't know, he really didn't know, but at this moment he could only say: "Cheating."
The ruler fell, "There's more!"
"To make you angry."
Falling again, "There's more!"
"Unfaithful, unfilial, and unrighteous."
The T-shirt was stained with blood, showing how ruthless Su Qingyue was. Unable to bear it, she hit him with fifty strokes before stopping. She walked over to Su Yin, pointed at Su Yin's father's tablet, and said, "When your father died in the line of duty, what did you say to his body?"
Su Yin knelt with his back straight, ignoring the pain in his back, and looked at his father's tablet and said, "I want to be a person who saves the dying and the wounded like my mother, and I want to be an upright person like my father." His mother used to be a doctor, and she saved many people with a scalpel.
"Did you do it?" Su Qingyue had already prepared herself for Su Yin's fate and didn't want to acknowledge him. But when Su Yin came to her house today to apologize, her patience was shattered. "I named you 'Yin', which means to lead a spring to irrigate its dry ground. But you did such wicked things that you turned into 'Yin', which means to invite a wolf into the house! You've completely ruined my reputation. Now when I go out selling vegetables and meet acquaintances, they always ask me, 'Where's your servile son?'"
"Tell me! Did you do it?!"
Su Yin looked at her mother, her nose a little sore, and she felt a lot of grievances but had no way to vent them. "Mom, I will change."
"Wei Xue. Do you remember how you told me that you liked Wei Xue?" Su Qingyue wiped the ruler with a towel, sighed heavily in her heart, and only let out half of her breath.
"I remember." Su Yin remembered those things and those words clearly.
Before confessing his love, he knelt in front of his father's tablet and solemnly swore to his mother that he was serious about Pei Weixue and was serious about staying with her for the rest of her life, and he hoped his mother would agree.
Su Qingyue is not only a good doctor, but also a good mother. She gave him all the maternal love she could and never interfered too much with his choices.
That was the only thing that made him swear and promise seriously.
"I won't forgive you unless you make Wei Xue forgive you. If you dare to spend his money again, you will never call me mom again!" Su Qingyue didn't know whether this threat would work. She looked at the tablet. Old Li, should I give him this chance?
Su Yin wiped away her tears and looked at Su Qingyue's face carefully. There were obvious crow's feet at the corners of her eyes, deepened nasolabial folds, and the most glaring strands of white hair.
It was obvious that his mother was healthy and strong yesterday. He loved her hair the most. It was well-maintained and black, making her look much younger than her peers. She always talked and joked with him with a smile. On weekends, he would go to the park with his mother to dance square dance.
Whenever he has time, he will drag Pei Weixue to dance with him. He and his mother are more like good friends.
In a blink of an eye, my mother's eyes were covered with lingering fatigue, frost and snow climbed up her hair, and she looked much more listless.
He couldn't accept that he was the culprit of all this, "Mom. I want to hug you."
When Su Qingyue heard this, her eyes turned red and she turned her head away. "Come hug me when you've really changed. Go out."
Pei Weixue told him to get out, and his mother also told him to leave. Su Yin staggered to his feet, looking back every few steps as he walked out the door, "Mom, I'm sorry." I made you worry about me.
After walking out of the door, Su Yin wiped his eyes and looked back at his back. When he moved, he pulled the wound. He hissed a few times before slowly walking to the opposite door, but he didn't dare to go in.
If he finds out who cast a curse on him, he will be beaten into a pig's head.
Now I have new injuries adding to the old ones, and my whole body hurts. Except for the fight with Jiang Zhi when I was a child, I have never suffered such injustice.
He touched his belly, his abdominal muscles. With his current body, who could he possibly win over? He didn't know who had inflicted the wound on his face.
He opened the door, walked in lightly, and went to the living room to get the medicine box. When he took off his clothes, the blood on the wound had coagulated and stuck to the cloth. It hurt so much when he pulled it that he wanted to scream for his mother. But then he remembered that he was already twenty-six years old, so he forced himself to hold back and took off his clothes as if he were going to the guillotine.
The snow-white T-shirts have been dyed into flowery T-shirts.
Who is messing with him?
He took a towel into the bathroom to wipe off the blood stains and then came out to wipe them with disinfectant alcohol.
Click.
The bedroom door is open.
He looked up and met Pei Weixue's eyes as she walked out. "Xue'er, hiss~" He was so excited that he accidentally pressed the wound and looked at Pei Weixue pitifully.
Pei Weixue took a bottle of juice and went back to the bedroom, closing the door without even looking at him.
Su Yin lowered his head and continued to treat the wound. Looking at the pile of blood-stained tissues in the trash can, he felt aggrieved and pouted.
His phone dinged, and he leaned over to check. The app reminded him that he hadn't clocked in today.
What the hell is this card. How could he be so stupid that he worked for nothing?
I saw He Nan’s photo in the album before, and I thought about it, what did he like about He Nan?
Not to mention that He Nan is Jiang Zhi's girlfriend, he would never try to steal his brother's girl even if he took a million steps back.
His mother told him that Xue'er had to forgive him, and now Xue'er was determined to divorce him. Should he... just go along with her first? And then get her back?
But that wouldn't work. What if Xue'er ran away as soon as he let go? He couldn't just watch Xue'er not take the medicine.
He stared at Pei Weixue's tightly closed bedroom door in a daze, not knowing whether it affected his vision anymore.
However, the color combination of Pei Weixue's clothes is normal, so it should not have any impact.
Knock knock...
Hmm? Who is it? Mom?
Su Yin hurried to open the door, but saw a strange woman in a suit and tie standing at the door. "Who are you?"
"I'm Engineer Pei's assistant, and I'm here to deliver the bidding documents. Just call me Xiao He." Xiao He kept wearing a standard polite smile, looking more like a ruthless work machine.
"Oh, give it to me, I'll give it to him." Su Yin thought that Xue'er's studio was quite big and she even had an assistant.
"Xiao He." At this time, Pei Weixue came out, "Give it to me."
"Okay. If there's nothing else, I'll be leaving now."
After the people left, Su Yin followed Pei Weixue with his hands on his waist, "Xue'er, what bidding are you participating in? Is it for corporate system management?" The door panel hit him in the face with a bang and almost hit him again. He looked at the door panel, sighed, and returned to the living room.
The lid of the opened medicine box was decorated with a cute snowman and a sled dog. He touched it with his fingertips and looked back at the bald head of the TV.
There should have been little snowman and dog dolls tucked in there, but they're gone now.
He sat cross-legged in front of the coffee table, his chin in his hand as he looked at the unrecognizable house. Many memories were gone.
In the kitchen, they cook together, on the balcony they dry clothes together, and on the sofa they watch TV together.
He leaned forward and felt something wrong in his stomach. He looked down and was overwhelmed by his belly. He slapped it hard, and it made a sound like a drum.
"Who made you grow this piece of flesh on my body!" Su Yin vented his anger on his belly, wishing he could just cut it off. It had been a long time since he last exercised, my God.
My mother doesn’t care about me, my husband doesn’t love me, my brother doesn’t know the situation and has blocked him anyway, and my figure has disappeared.
He now felt like he wanted to imitate Viego and say a line, "It hurts, it hurts so much."
"I have lost my love forever, and everything I see is ruined."
Damn~
Speaking of [Viago], he remembered that he loved playing this the most when he played games with Pei Weixue. One ultimate skill could kill a person, and he was super awesome every time.
Pei Weixue couldn't distinguish between the red and blue buffs because of color blindness, so he memorized them by rote and hit the blue buff when he wanted to hit the red buff, and was often beaten by the mid laner with text output.
So he went to play jungle and gave all the buffs to Pei Weixue. He could carry the game and his teammates wouldn't say anything.
It is so vivid in my mind, yet it seems like a long time ago.
He took out his phone and logged into the app to see if there were any changes to his game account. He found that all his ranking records in the past six years had been above 0/8.
Six years ago, my rank was still the strongest at the end of the season, but in recent years, it has dropped from diamond to iron.
His vision went dark again. He clicked into Pei Weixue's game account and discovered that they hadn't played duos in six years. Pei Weixue had only played a few games during the same time he was online.
He was still playing his favorite hero, the first hero he taught Pei Weixue to play, but his record was still very poor.
When he plays alone, he will think of every little detail of their duo-queuing experience and must be very sad.
What on earth had caused him to become so different over the past six years? He wasn't himself anymore, hurting everyone around him. Was he human? Huh? Was he human?
He kicked while cursing, but ended up kicking the table leg, nearly knocking over his toes. "Ouch~" he hugged his foot with a bitter face, leaned back, and the injury on his back hit the sofa again. The pain was so severe that he couldn't sit, stand, or lie down.
Even if you have lost your memory, remember it quickly, okay? Even if you die, you should die with a clear mind.
He looked at his toes with turned-out nails with a gloomy face, tilted his head, and felt hopeless.
The author has something to say:
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Viego is a hero from League of Legends.
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