Xu Qingyan's gaze grew empty, as if he were looking back many years. He continued, "Yanmei and I were rarely together, only seeing each other for a month every two or three years. We cherished the days we were together, presenting each other with all the beauty and goodness in each other. We only saw the good in each other. After we separated, apart from practicing martial arts, all I could think about was Yanmei. I counted the days we would be together every day, wishing I could quickly reach forty so I could be with her forever."
"After you came into my life, I had even more concerns. One day, I suddenly thought: when I turn forty and receive two hundred taels of silver as pension, what will I do when the money is gone? I know nothing but martial arts, so how can I provide a good life for my wife and children? I can't just sit there and eat all my savings. I have to use this money to start a business so that my wife and children will never have to worry about food and clothing."
"From that day on, I practiced martial arts even more diligently. When others were resting, I took the time to learn more characters. We were secret guards, and to better fulfill our mission, we learned a few characters, but not much. I couldn't bear to spend money on books or brushes, ink, paper, and inkstone. I borrowed a military book from our leader and read all kinds of writing, even notices posted on the wall and restaurant menus, which I wrote on the ground with a small stick... When I encountered questions I didn't understand, I consulted our leader and other knowledgeable people I knew, including the Crown Prince... I also learned to think, to learn from others' strengths, and to pay attention to what others said and did... Once, a few of us secret guards were protecting our master at a restaurant for dinner. I was distracted and glanced at the words on the wall for a few seconds. When I got back, my leader gave me forty lashes..."
Xu Lanyin was also moved by his words. This man is really good. This is not easy in the ancient times when the husband is the leader. He and Qin have a foundation of love. Maybe they are not as pessimistic as they think.
Xu Qingyan continued, "The old master found out about this. After I recovered from my injury, he called me to his study and asked me why I was so passionate about learning. I told him my thoughts, and instead of blaming me, he said I was a responsible man. He gave me two books and a set of brushes, inkstones, and paper, saying that while learning is a good thing, it shouldn't interfere with important tasks. He also made me a small leader, putting me in charge of any important matters."
"Eight years ago, before my long vacation was over, I was summoned back to the Zhou Palace. The Crown Prince had his left arm severed by the Rebellious King. Grand Tutor Zhou was furious, believing the Rebellious King wouldn't commit such a ruthless act. He also learned from certain sources that the Zhou Palace in Western Xia might be colluding with a certain prince of the Daming Dynasty, so he sent me to gather intelligence...
"Grand Tutor Zhou said that if I completed this mission, I would not only be freed from my role as a secret guard, but also officially enter the government. My future would be determined by the King of Wu and him. However, this mission was special, and to help me conceal my identity, he assigned someone to assist me. This person was the maid who served in Grand Tutor Zhou's study, named Zhou Xin. She was skilled in some martial arts and intelligent. Grand Tutor Zhou said she would not only be my assistant, but also my wife in the Western Xia Kingdom..."
"How could I have room for another woman? I don't want to hurt Sister Yan's feelings and break our agreement. I'm a secret guard, a servant who obeys my master's orders. I dare not disobey orders, so I have to put forward conditions. In Xixia, Zhou Xin and I will live together in the name of husband and wife, not as a real couple. After returning, we will go our separate ways and live our own lives..."
"Although Grand Tutor Zhou was extremely reluctant and unhappy, he suggested that we only share a one-night room together so that I could focus on my work. He also said that my goal was to gain the trust of Prince Zhou or one of his confidants, and use the opportunity to find out which of our dynasty's princes was secretly colluding. The maids in the palace had a keen eye, and I couldn't let them see that my wife was a grown woman... I rejected his offer, saying I didn't need help and could go on my own. He also asked me what to do if Prince Zhou or his people took a fancy to me and wanted to find me a wife from the Western Xia Kingdom. That would not only put me in a more passive position, but I would also have someone constantly monitoring me... I, I had no other choice. The night before I left the capital, I just..."
Xu Qingyan was extremely embarrassed to tell his daughter about this. He lowered his head and calmed down for a moment before mustering up the courage to continue. "Zhou Xin and I went to the Western Xia Kingdom and first settled down in the countryside of Zhongqing Prefecture, the capital. I went into the mountains to hunt, and Xin Niang took care of the housework at home. For the first year and a half, we slept in separate rooms. Xin Niang is a good woman. She didn't have any complaints about my actions and helped me wholeheartedly..."
"That winter was very cold. One time, I went hunting in the mountains and was trapped in the snow for several days and nights. I thought I was going to die there. At that time, I felt extremely regretful. I felt that I shouldn't have selfishly married Yanmei. Even if she had married a farmer, it would have been better than her being a widow at such a young age with a pair of young children. Later, I was lucky enough to find a cave. I waited until the snow stopped and insisted on returning home. As soon as I got back, I collapsed. It was Xinniang who warmed me with her body..."
Xu Qingyan lowered his head even lower, and Xu Lanyin could only see the top of his head and ears.
His voice also deepened. "Xin Niang warmed not only my life and body, but also my bewildered and terrified heart. After that, I was truly with her... I feel sorry for Yan Mei and broke our promise. During those days, I didn't dare miss home, Yan Mei and our two children, or think about what to do after returning to Daming..."
His voice was trembling, and he wiped his eyes with his hand. Xu Lanyin thought, he must have been crying.
"Later, I made the acquaintance of someone from the Zhou Palace, who showed me my hunting skills and unique qualities. He then introduced Xin Niang and I to the palace. With our hard work, I became a third-class guard, and Xin Niang became the head of Princess Zhou's kitchen. We also had a little girl, whose name there was Jin Niuniu, and whose private name was Xu Lanyue. At that time, we were a simple and normal family in the Zhou Palace..."
"Because I'm a foreigner, the King of Zhou always had some grudges against me, and I couldn't access the most core secrets. But Xin Niang's Daming dishes were particularly beloved by the Princess of Zhou, who even took her to cook for the Queen Mother. Once, the King of Zhou was assassinated, and I risked my life to save him. Only then did he trust me completely and made me a second-class guard. We gradually discovered that the Second and Third Princes of the Daming Dynasty were connected to the Second Prince of Xixia and the King of Zhou respectively through the Yiju Restaurant. Two years ago, we obtained several important pieces of intelligence, including a promise from the Third Prince that if he became emperor, he would give the King of Zhou one million taels of gold and send troops to aid his rebellion... With this information in hand, the three of us escaped the palace..."
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