After a long while, Qin raised her hand and touched Xu Lanyin's cheek, smiling with tears in her eyes, "Mother is useless, but she is not as irresponsible as you think. Otherwise, she would have really jumped into the river more than ten years ago. Don't worry about getting married. When you get married, focus on your husband's family and don't worry too much about your mother's family. Zhao Wu is a good child. We all see how good he is to you. However, love is a matter of youth. When you are old, it is family and companionship. Don't be too demanding of him. Be more understanding and tolerant. Don't bully him like you did before..."
Qin Shi used to like calling Zhao Wu "Wu'er", but later she felt that Zhao Wu had grown up and became her son-in-law, so it was not appropriate to call him "Wu'er". Wu'er also has another meaning.
Xu Lanyin's tears welled up and she said, "Mom, you must be well and happy."
In front of Qin, Xu Lanyin was so vulnerable for the first time, and for the first time she felt a deep attachment and reluctance to leave this family.
Qin Shi chuckled twice and said, "Don't worry, my daughter. The past days were so difficult, but I managed to get through it. How can it be harder now than before?"
Xu Lanyin said what she had always wanted to say to Qin, "Mom, being too attached to the past is painful. You have to learn to let go. Only by letting go can you be happy. Whether it's letting go of my father or letting go of your resentment towards him. Only by letting go of one thing can you get out of your confusion and live a better life."
Deep down, Xu Lanyin still hoped that Qin would give Xu Qingyan a chance. This wasn't based on politics, reputation, or whether their children were legitimate or not, but purely for Qin's sake, hoping that she could have a smooth life.
Women in ancient times could not be as carefree as modern women. If this happened to Xu Lanyin, she would divorce without hesitation, cut off her past relationship, and look for a new life with a new look and mentality.
But Qin definitely can't do it.
Moreover, Qin Shi was unlike many women whose lives were peaceful. Before she met Xu Qingyan, she was plagued by fear, anxiety, and persecution. During those years, the only person who brought her warmth, besides her deceased mother, was Xu Qingyan. He had saved her from the clutches of evildoers, given her a new identity, and a relatively stable and secure home. After marrying Xu Qingyan, she thought of him constantly. It's no exaggeration to say that he was once Qin Shi's spiritual support.
For someone like Qin, even if they really separated due to resentment and unwillingness, it would not be easy for her to get out of Xu Qingyan's shadow.
Furthermore, if Qin were to divorce, she would undoubtedly face numerous obstacles. She faced more than just love; there were many other factors at play. Only when these factors were balanced could her life be smooth and comfortable.
However, Xu Qingyan still had feelings for Qin, was willing to live with her, did his best to do things for her, and promised that there would be no other women in the future. This was much better than most ancient men.
If Qin could give Xu Qingyan a chance, she would also be giving herself a chance. If they couldn't live together, they could separate. That way, neither of them would have so much attachment and regret, and the separation wouldn't be so painful...
But Xu Lanyin couldn't make this decision for her, it had to be her own decision. If Qin Shi insisted on separating, Xu Lanyin would support and help her.
Qin glanced at Xu Lanyin from the side, tears welling in her eyes, which she blinked away. She said, "Mother will never let go of your father. Even if we have to divide the property and live separately, I won't divorce him. Your father has a concubine. If I divorce him, the concubine will naturally become the first wife. What will the status of my three children be then? And as for Wang Yi, it would be best if he lets go. If not, I'll hang myself first. My children must be legitimate sons and daughters of the Xu family."
When she talked about Wang Yi, she gritted her teeth.
Xu Lanyin hurriedly said, "Mom, please don't let your imagination run wild. It won't get that far. Besides, we don't care whether the child is legitimate or not."
Qin shook her head and said, "Silly child, you grew up in the countryside and don't understand. The difference between legitimate and illegitimate children is huge. Zhao Wu has no elders, and you saved his life, so he certainly won't care about your status. But when your two younger brothers get married in the future, if they are illegitimate children, their marriage will be limited, and it will not be easy to find legitimate daughters from good families. Even in official careers and making friends, legitimate children have more advantages than illegitimate children... Now it seems that it's a good thing that your father and I have reached this point. At least he dare not look down on me. Don't think that just because he is back and has become an official, and says a few nice words, it's okay to let his family abuse me. I want him to know that I also have a temper and persistence, and I dare to take that step... Alas, husband and wife still have to use tricks. It's common in a big house, but I'm using them now."
Xu Lanyin hadn't expected Qin to be more realistic than she'd imagined. In her heart, politics, fame, and her own happiness were secondary, and her first priority was her children.
Xu Lanyin said, "So, Mom still chooses to continue living with Dad, which is fine. However, Mom still has to selectively 'let go'. Only by letting go can you feel better." She hugged Qin's arm a little tighter and continued, "When my dad has performed well enough, Mom will try to let go of her grudges and resentment towards him, give him a chance, and give you a chance too, okay? If you really can't do this, then as you said before, as long as my dad respects you, let go of the love and resentment in your heart for him, because only with love can there be resentment, and truly be a couple who 'respect each other like guests'... The former choice will give you happiness and joy as a wife. The latter choice will give you peace and smoothness as a wife."
Qin turned her head and stared blankly at Xu Lanyin for a long time before she murmured, "My daughter is right. These past few days, I feel like I've been trapped in a fog, unable to break free or get out. I feel extremely distressed..."
She really couldn't understand why her daughter could see things more deeply and clearly than she did when it came to matters of the heart.
Xu Lanyin said, "Of course it's uncomfortable to be trapped in the fog..."
The mother and daughter talked until late at night. Qin said she would think it through, and then they went to rest.
The next day, Qin woke up late. Although her eyes were a little red, showing she hadn't rested well, she was in good spirits. Perhaps she had already made a choice. No matter which one she chose, as long as she had a choice, it was good. Xu Lanyin still hoped that she would choose the former...
On the first day of March, Qin Hongyu, Qin Grandma, Min Nan, Hu Yi, Xu Shi, and Li Dashi and his wife, all of whom were close friends and familiar with Xu Lanyin, came to add to her dowry. A maid from the Min residence also arrived, bringing a bolt of brocade on behalf of Min Jia. Li Erniang and Huang Juanniang, both from the alley and close to the Xu family, also came to add to her dowry.
In the afternoon, Xu Ershi actually helped Old Lady Xu come to add makeup.
Thank you Yunzejaneyu and Song Amei for the rewards.
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