Chapter 65
I don't know why I came here. The land is empty, with a circular platform in the middle, and on the platform are several stone tablets inscribed with text, surrounding a flowerbed in the center. It sits at the foot of a snow-capped mountain, unlike the one in my dream.
I have never told the truth. And now I'm standing here.
Whether this was driven by something, I still cannot determine.
But recalling my initial attempts at resistance, it's hard not to feel a sense of the capriciousness of fate.
I heard the voice say, "After living here for so long, you should have realized that this world could die at any moment."
I don't know what they're trying to confuse me about; anyone with eyes can see that.
But I still calmly thought about it. What if "thinking" really is important?
There's really no need to think about it. Everything that has happened to me—the dangers, the abilities, the incredible luck I've encountered that's the complete opposite of what I've ever experienced—I've received all the blessings this world has to offer me. They've grown into vines rooted in this world.
There was no longer any need for me to separate from or escape this world. Ever since I accepted my landlady's kindness.
Moreover, thinking brings back memories. I can't recall them, because they would soften my heart for fleeting moments of warmth.
I tilted my head slightly, looking at the open space before me: "Just tell me your purpose. I need this world to 'live on.' Give me its destiny? Let me take its place. Isn't the seed within me enough?"
The voice seemed surprised by my decisiveness and remained silent for a moment. I didn't urge it, but simply closed my eyes and quietly listened to the wind for a while.
How tranquil, how gentle, it melted away my restless heart. Carrying the aroma of cooking smoke from distant homes, the laughter and merriment of countless people, it summoned the whispers of birds, awakened the blooming of flowers, and I heard the plants slowly sprouting.
I hear the opposite kind of happiness, the illusion that has been lingering around me lately, the warm silhouette I could never have imagined experiencing before.
"Hey, watch out, you might fall!"
"■■, don't be angry. I didn't mean to tease you. I only did that because I like you. You'll forgive me, right?"
"What will we be like when we grow up?"
...
Occasionally, in bits and pieces.
I returned from that false illusion. I wasn't deceived, but I couldn't help feeling saddened by their joy at losing me; after all, it proved outright that I was someone who wasn't needed there. I didn't wallow in that warmth that wasn't mine; I simply…
I couldn't help but glance at it a few more times. That unique scenery, the stories of the past or present, the happiness in the distance.
I now have people who care about me. They care about me, shed tears for me, and feel angry for me.
Even though I have wronged them.
Of course I know it's fake. I have absolutely no regrets, only regrets that I didn't say goodbye to Gu Xinglian, didn't say more to him, didn't apologize. He would definitely cry; he's always crying, completely different from before. Before, I was the one who cried easily, always hiding away to cry secretly, and he always found out. He took me to see flowers, took me hiking, and showed me the happiness he felt.
I've said I know the truth. I've never blamed anyone.
"Aren't you going to think about it again?" it said incredulously. "Why don't you think about it? A life without reflection is utterly pointless; are you sure you've made a decision that's objective enough and respectful enough for yourself? As for an outsider soul, of course I can send you away..."
I interrupted it: "What's the point of saying all this now, Ward? You don't have to do this. From the beginning, no one here wanted me to leave. My life is already dead, my luck is about to dissipate, who would want me to leave? And you, who did all this, why are you saying these things now?"
It doesn't speak.
A moment later, it said in a mechanical voice, enunciating each word clearly: "I am not Ward."
“Okay, you’re not Ward.” I nodded. “Then you have even less reason to care about me. What are you thinking?”
It fell into a long silence again. It was struggling with its own thoughts: it had even considered sending me away. But those eyes, burning with fire, were blazing within me; how could I abandon hope for this world?
"Besides, you know how painful my past life was," I said. "Isn't that precisely why I live in this world without any burden or anxiety? Could there be some misunderstanding? Will time travel mess up two people's memories like in the hospital? Don't be ridiculous. Can you find a second time traveler here? Find him and bring him to me!"
It doesn't speak.
“I’ve given up, I gave up a long time ago. My life here is like that peach tree I occasionally caress; you know its current state is my fate. But you can’t say that. I said I forgave you, so why do you say you don’t believe me at the last minute? I’ve always believed in you, trusted you, and followed your advice. Whatever you told me to see, I saw; whomever you told me to meet, I met. I’m about to be in the same world as you, so why are you going back on your word at the last minute?”
It felt like I was communicating with the air.
I know these words are cruel, cruel to him; he's just a child. I said, "You're the one who made me who I am now. What are you going to make me into now? Hurry up! Give me a quick death: that will make you feel better too."
It screamed, "It wasn't me! I didn't!"
I fought back the tears welling up in my eyes and continued, "Let's stop talking and get straight to the point: So, what should I do?"
It remained silent. Its silence was eternal, but my ears began to fill with sounds. Countless voices, countless tones, each one pleading for help.
You are the seed of the world.
After you die, you will sprout; the growth of the seed will purify this place. The world will regain its freedom and joy, and all this will happen in the blink of an eye.
You will become the tree that protects this world...
...
Ah. What a familiar sound, I've heard it before.
I know this means it compromised with me. Things took a dramatic turn; initially I compromised, then a balance was maintained, and finally it compromised too. But you can't say it like that, right? After all, it's the one who benefits.
That's enough. I ignore the sweet words still whispering in my ears, ignore the hurried footsteps, and realize who no longer wants me to stay. Those I cherish, those who wanted to keep me because of love, those I've forgotten, those still in my memory, those who deceived me out of fear of my departure, and those who didn't deceive me because they valued my thoughts.
I did it not for you. Don't feel guilty about it.
Death. My death only signifies rebirth.
It silently brought me the deathly tranquility the world needed.
I felt my vision blur, my whole being lose its light, and the world become a hazy, pitch-black void. I felt an emptiness in my heart, my thoughts slowed, until they approached nothingness.
And I lived for a very long time, long enough for a tree to grow up.
I couldn't help but laugh.
See you tomorrow, world.
[End of text]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
