She remembered Li Xiwei's care for Jiang Cenyun when she was a child, the two times he entered the palace and the battle of wits and courage between them, the joy of getting what she wanted on their wedding night, the decades of companionship, and the "sorry" he said to her on his deathbed.
"Your Majesty, please forgive me for my previous actions. May Your Majesty live a long life."
He reached out to wipe the tears from her eyes, and she pressed her cheek against his, but she could no longer receive his comfort. As his hand fell, so did the life in her heart.
At that time, she had hoped that they could be husband and wife for the rest of their lives.
Shen Qingmang came back to his senses and looked at Gu Suihan. "Don't dwell on the past, Suihan. I can't give you everything that Jiang Cenyun can. I don't have her... passion and love."
"Master clearly loves everyone in the world, but is he unwilling to love me?" Gu Suihan asked.
"You should know that's not the same love."
"So after experiencing true love firsthand, you still choose to reject it?"
"My original intention of going to the Love Audition Platform was not to experience it..."
Shen Qingmang was interrupted by Gu Suihan. "You want to teach me, your ignorant disciple, a lesson, and make me see clearly what constitutes true love, right?"
He was almost touching her face, and she held her breath and stepped back without saying a word.
Gu Suihan continued to speak to himself: "But even though the disciple has forgotten his memory, he still fell in love with the master. Doesn't this mean that our relationship is destined? No matter how many times I reincarnate, I will be attracted to you."
"No, it's just a coincidence." Shen Qingmang's expression was as calm as usual in class.
"Then why don't you come with me to the Love Trial Arena again, Master, and see if there will be another chance? No matter how many times, your disciple will accompany you to the end."
"Sui Han." Shen Qingmang frowned. "You are too paranoid."
"Who's the paranoid one, Master?" Gu Suihan laughed. "You've been the one who repeatedly denied my feelings. Why won't you admit you're attracted to me, too?"
"I don't."
"Then why have you been afraid to look me in the eyes since you left the illusion?"
Shen Qingmang immediately retorted: "Haven't I been watching you since they left?"
"Your gaze is only on me, not in my eyes. Do you dare to look me in the eye?"
"What's there to be afraid of?" Shen Qingmang was irritated by him and immediately looked into his eyes. Gu Suihan looked at her intently and affectionately. Her face became redder and redder. After a few seconds, she hurriedly looked away and only heard a chuckle from the other party.
"So Master can be afraid too."
"I just haven't...completely gotten over the illusion yet. Even if there are any remaining feelings, they belong to Jiang Cenyun for Li Xiwei, and have nothing to do with you or me."
"In that case, Master, would you like to go with me to cut off the love barrier?"
Shen Qingmang finally dared to look Gu Suihan in the eye this time, but he was trying to judge whether he was lying. "Are you serious?"
"Master feels that your affection is merely residual emotion. How about going through the emotional severing process to completely sever any remaining feelings? Then, you can reconsider your true feelings for me."
"You're crazy, Gu Suihan." Shen Qingmang swallowed hard. "No, you can't erase such a beautiful past. Even if it wasn't real, it definitely existed in our memories. We have no right to make decisions for Jiang Cenyun and Li Xiwei."
If she accidentally retraces the illusion during the Love Breakthrough, causing the sweet love between the Empress and Prime Minister Li to vanish into thin air and turn into a love-hate relationship, she cannot accept it.
Although it was an illusion, it was the most real joy she had ever experienced.
"It turns out that Master is also reluctant to let go." Gu Sui Han looked happy.
Shen Qingmang took a few deep breaths and said, "I'll think about it. It's almost nightfall, and we should both go back and rest."
Gu Suihan looked at the brightly lit surroundings and said in an indulgent tone, "Okay, whatever the Master says is what I will do."
Shen Qingmang didn't care whether he would be laughed at or not. He quickly returned to his bedroom and closed the door. The annoyance on his face could no longer be concealed.
How did she start to have such a double standard? On the one hand, she told her apprentice that the illusion was fake, but on the other hand, she was greedy for the warmth in the illusion. It was obviously not her true love and hate at all.
A trace of restlessness stirred her soul. She paced around the room, trying to calm herself down, but her emotions burst out uncontrollably.
Doesn't Gu Suihan's point make sense? Since they're still able to fall in love even after forgetting their memories, it proves they're destined to be together, just like Hao Xin and Si Rong. As the hero and heroine of the original novel, even if their personalities in this life are slightly different from the original, it doesn't change the reality that they're attracted to each other. What did Li Shutong say when she threatened her? Did she ever consider that she, too, was a character in her novel?
Maybe, maybe, maybe all this was arranged by her, and I will inevitably fall in love with Gu Sui Han. This is an unavoidable fate.
But wasn't death the fate she, as a beautiful woman, had to face? If she succumbed to her fate, would she still die bravely thirty years later?
She absolutely could not retreat.
There were too many reasons preventing him and her from falling in love: the age difference, the master-disciple relationship, his attachment to Qiongju, and her fear of love...
No matter how much she longed to be like Jiang Cenyun, who had everything from birth, she could never be like her, trusting others unconditionally, facing feelings calmly, and never having to worry about being hurt.
She hates being exploited.
The next morning, Shen Qingmang knocked on Gu Suihan's door and said to him in a questioning look, "Master has changed his mind. Let's go and cut off the love barrier."
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