Chapter 63
As the conversation ended, the crowd dispersed, forming small groups of twos and threes, talking quietly and sipping their drinks. The lights on the central stage dimmed, leaving only a few spotlights shining on the different installations, and the exhibition hall returned to its fluid, buzzing state.
Lin Xiaoyu was still standing in the same spot.
Qi Jin's slight nod as he left acted like an invisible boundary marker, fixing her in this place. The feeling of him holding her sleeve still lingered in her palm; now it was empty and a little cold.
She watched Qi Jin and Shi Ye's figures disappear into the halo of light at the entrance, one after the other, until they were completely out of sight, still staring blankly in that direction. Someone passed by and nudged her shoulder, snapping her out of her daze. She hurriedly bowed her head and apologized, "Ah, I'm so sorry..."
The other person waved and walked away.
Lin Xiaoyu then moved her feet and walked somewhat blankly to a huge mural next to her, painted with colorful pieces of broken porcelain. It depicted a summer garden, vibrant yet chaotic, somewhat like her current mood.
Sister Shi... has left again.
Unlike last time, she didn't leave forever. She was taken away by Senior Sister Qi Jin.
Lin Xiaoyu picked at her fingers, her mind a jumble of thoughts. Of course, she was overjoyed that Sister Shi was "back," wishing she could set off firecrackers for three days straight to make up for all the tears she had shed. But when she actually saw Sister Shi, she felt... something was off.
Shi Ye seems to have changed. Not in appearance, but inwardly. The Shi Ye who would make light of her complaints, who would occasionally make you smile helplessly when she amused you, and who would give a calm speech at a design exhibition—the shell is still there, but the soul inside seems to be... covered with a thick layer of dust. Everything seems to be seen through a layer, her reactions are always a beat slow, and her eyes always carry a kind of bewilderment and wariness like a frightened little animal.
Especially just now, when Sister Shi clutched her chest and said "empty" and "painful," Lin Xiaoyu's heart clenched. She thought of her cousin who had depression, who sometimes showed a similar expression, that weariness and emptiness that emanated from her very bones and could not be illuminated by the sun.
But before, when I visited Sister Ye... although she was quiet and distant, it wasn't to this extent. Was it that explosion? Did it leave psychological trauma?
What about Senior Sister Qi Jin?
Lin Xiaoyu's thoughts involuntarily drifted to Qi Jin.
The senior's attitude towards Sister Shi is... so strange.
If you're talking about showing concern, the senior student never touched Shi Yanjie once, not even a word of comfort. She treated it like a business transaction, or rather, a reluctant one. That look in her eyes sometimes made Lin Xiaoyu's skin crawl, like she was assessing some precision instrument, or… being wary of some dangerous object.
You could say she didn't care, but the senior student had been keeping an eye on Shi Ye out of the corner of her eye, and she immediately noticed when Shi Ye acted strangely. She even offered her a handkerchief—though the gesture was so stiff it was like she was doing it for the first time. She also offered to take Shi Ye home, using the cold excuse, "Your father asked me to."
What's this all about?
Lin Xiaoyu scratched her hair in frustration, messing up her carefully styled hair. She used to be a die-hard number one fan of the "Jinyuan CP" (Qi Jin x Yuan Shiye)! Although she was heartbroken after Shiye's "death," now that he's back, her CP-obsessed DNA can't help but stir again!
But reality seems to be quite different from the sweet romance she's been shipping!
The imagined scene: After surviving the ordeal, they hold hands, gazing at each other with tearful eyes, pouring out their hearts to one another (although given the senior's personality, she might just give a silent hug), and from then on, they are inseparable, a happy ending.
Actual scene: One is like a moving iceberg with a death stare, the other is like a frightened bird about to faint, separated by the Chu-Han border and an archway that reads "Entrusted by Father".
How are you supposed to bang on the air?!
Lin Xiaoyu felt so frustrated she wanted to stomp her feet. She remembered the way her senior used to look at Shi Yejie. Although it was well-hidden, the occasional glimpse of tenderness and focus it revealed was like a spark suddenly igniting in the snow, making her secretly excited for a long time. And now? The spark seemed to be frozen, wrapped in a thick layer of ice, not only not warm, but also prickly.
And herself...
Lin Xiaoyu suddenly realized that when Senior Sister Qi Jin withdrew her arm, briefly told her "You stay here" and then turned to leave, besides worrying about Sister Shi Ye, she felt... a slight sense of being abandoned and a tiny bit of grievance.
It was like when she was little, her parents promised to take her to the amusement park, but then had to take care of her sick cousin, leaving her alone at home waiting. She knew she shouldn't have, that her senior was more important, and that her senior had done the right thing, but that little bit of disappointment still welled up inside her.
She always regarded Senior Qi Jin as the older sister she admired and relied on the most. Senior Qi Jin was strong, calm, and capable of everything. Whenever she was bullied, nervous during a competition, or simply wanted to act cute, she could always give her a sense of security. She liked to stick to Senior Qi Jin like a little tail.
But now, it seems that the senior's attention has been completely drawn to Shi Ye, who has "returned" but is not quite the same. Although the way it is done is awkward, it is indeed attention, an unusual tension and concern that even she can feel.
And what about her?
Is she still the junior that her senior dotes on? Or is it just because she's "Shi Ye's good friend" that her senior is giving her extra care? Now that the main character is back, shouldn't this "peripheral" character automatically disappear?
The thought startled Lin Xiaoyu, followed by a wave of shame. How could she think of such things when Sister Shi had gone through something so terrible! How selfish!
She shook her head vigorously, trying to shake off the jumbled thoughts. Her gaze unconsciously fell on a particularly bright yellow shard of porcelain on the mural, and after staring at it for a while, her eyes started to blur.
"Hey! Xiaoyu! What are you doing here, just spacing out?" A somewhat familiar voice rang out from beside me.
Lin Xiaoyu turned her head and saw her classmate from the design department, who had also come to join in the fun. "N-nothing, just looking at paintings," she forced a smile.
"Was that Senior Qi Jin just now? And... was that Senior Shi Ye? She really... came back?" The classmate lowered his voice, his eyes full of curiosity and inquiry. "She doesn't look too well, is she alright? Senior Qi Jin and her..."
"Senior sister took Sister Shi Ye back to rest." Lin Xiaoyu interrupted her classmate's gossip, her tone unconsciously becoming a little firmer. "Sister Shi Ye needs to rest."
The classmate, having been rebuffed, awkwardly changed the subject: "Oh... by the way, the small party over there has started, and a lot of professors from the industry are there. Do you want to go and get to know them? Professor Wang seems to be there too."
Lin Xiaoyu wasn't really in the mood, but when she heard that Professor Wang (the professor who recommended her for the national competition) was also there, she nodded. She couldn't give up on her career; no matter how difficult it was, she had to pull herself together.
She followed her classmates toward the party area, her heart pounding like a restless rabbit. Her eyes searched the crowd, wanting to see that familiar figure (even though she knew she had already left), yet also a little afraid to see her.
The reception area was even more lively, with crystal chandeliers casting a warm yellow light and the clinking of glasses adding a crisp sound. Lin Xiaoyu roused herself, greeting familiar teachers and classmates, trying her best to portray a strong junior who was "heartbroken but trying to recover."
Professor Wang saw her and asked her a few questions about her recent situation, encouraging her to cheer up and continue creating. Lin Xiaoyu responded to each question, but her heart was a little unsettled. She saw that not far away, the person in charge of "Tracing the Light Space" was talking with several people who looked like investors. Next to them stood a neat and capable-looking girl in a black jumpsuit, listening attentively and nodding occasionally.
That girl... seemed to have been standing in the crowd watching the conversation just now? She's quite pretty, and has a rather unique air about her.
Lin Xiaoyu's attention only drifted over for a second before she looked away. She had no interest in making new friends right now.
She grabbed a glass of juice, retreated to a quieter corner, leaned against the cold wall, and finally let down her forced smile. She twirled her phone in her hand, the screen flashing on and off.
Should I send a message to Sister Shi Ye and ask how she is?
But now that Sister Ye is with Senior Sister... won't Senior Sister find her annoying? Or bothering them?
The word "they" made Lin Xiaoyu pause for a moment.
Before, when she messaged Shi Ye, she never thought about whether it would bother her or her senior. Because back then, her senior and Shi Ye weren't "them" yet. Now... things seem a little different.
Even if their relationship is awkward, that's their own business.
Lin Xiaoyu stared at the name "Sister Shi" in her phone's contact list, and the nickname "Senior Sister" below it. The two names were very close together.
She used to think that the two names were a match made in heaven, but now, looking at them, she feels as if there is a layer of frosted glass between them, making it difficult to see clearly.
Finally, she opened her chat window with Sister Shi. Their last conversation was a few days before the explosion, when Sister Shi asked about the progress of her design drafts. Scrolling back, it was mostly her chattering away, with Sister Shi giving brief replies.
She typed a few words: "Sister Shiye, are you home yet? Are you feeling better?" After thinking for a moment, she deleted them and replaced them with: "Sister Shiye, get some rest and don't worry too much. I'll come see you again tomorrow."
send.
Then, as if possessed, she opened the chat window with Qi Jin.
The last message she sent this afternoon read: "Senior, you'll be at the preview tonight, right? I'll be waiting for you!" It was followed by a cute bunny emoji.
Qi Jin replied with a simple "Mm".
Further back, after the explosion, Qi Jin sent her a few messages, mostly asking about her condition and reminding her to be careful. They were concise but showed his concern. She, on the other hand, sent many messages, crying, worrying, reminiscing, and sometimes long voice messages. Her senior rarely replied with long text messages, usually just "Mm," "I know," "Don't be afraid," or she would directly call her, listen to her cry, and calmly tell her what to do next.
That feeling of being steadily supported was her greatest comfort during those dark days.
But now...
Lin Xiaoyu's finger hovered over the screen. She wanted to ask, "Senior, is Sister Shi Ye alright?", "Have you all gotten home yet?", and even, "Senior, are you angry with Sister Shi Ye? Or... are you angry about something else?"
But she didn't send any of them.
She suddenly felt a little scared.
The response I fear will be another cold, distant "hmm," or an even longer silence.
I was afraid that my subtle emotions, which I hadn't even sorted out myself, would be easily seen through by my senior. She was so smart; nothing could be hidden from her.
What she feared even more was that her dependence on and admiration for her senior had unknowingly changed, becoming mixed with things she dared not delve into.
Lin Xiaoyu turned off her phone, put it back in her pocket, and took a big gulp of her juice. The sweet liquid slid down her throat, only making her mouth feel more bitter.
She raised her eyes, her gaze passing through the swaying figures and wine glasses, and looked again toward the entrance of the exhibition hall.
Senior Sister Qi Jin and Sister Shi Ye left from there.
It felt like carrying the bitter cold of the entire winter.
Like a lone bird lost in the morning mist.
Standing here, under the warm party lights, she felt an unprecedented...loneliness.
In the past, when she shipped couples, she would cheer and jump for joy from the sidelines.
Now, it seems she's inadvertently been caught up in the storm, becoming an insider—an insider who can't see her own position or gauge the direction of the wind.
"Xiaoyu, what are you daydreaming about? Director Li wants to see your competition portfolio, come quick!" Her classmate waved to her from a distance.
Lin Xiaoyu took a deep breath and patted her cheeks.
Forget it, I don't want to think about it anymore.
Things will work themselves out, and the relationship will naturally have a sweet ending... right?
The most urgent thing is to get my career sorted out and work hard to make money, and then... tomorrow, I'll go see Sister Shi in person.
No matter how strange her senior's attitude was, no matter how much Shi Ye had changed, she was still one of her most important older sisters.
She has to go and see for herself to confirm.
By the way... take another look at my senior.
Let's see what's hidden beneath that iceberg.
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