Song Jin had been feeling drowsy during the day due to feeling unwell. After eating the meal brought by Aunt Lan and Erya in the evening, she wanted to get out of bed and walk around, but was stopped by the doctor, who said that her top priority now was to protect the fetus.
She herself was also a little scared. She didn't know why, but since they got married, she and Chen Liang had not avoided pregnancy. On the contrary, they had sex very frequently.
But she just couldn't get pregnant. She also went to see a doctor privately. Whether she went to the hospital for a check-up or consulted a Chinese medicine doctor for pulse diagnosis, the doctor said that she was in good health.
She had once thought that maybe because she didn't belong here, she was destined to never have children in this life.
She didn't expect that after finally getting pregnant, she almost hurt the baby in her belly because of her carelessness.
After dinner, Aunt Lan and Erya didn't want to go back and wanted to stay in the hospital with her, so she let them go.
I had originally planned to go to the space pharmacy to see if there were any pregnancy-preserving pills or something, but now I can only wait until they fall asleep.
Otherwise, the two of them would have been guarding her bedside, asking from time to time if she was feeling unwell or wanted to go to the bathroom. She couldn't even try to sink her consciousness into space.
Finally it was dark and she said she was going to sleep, so the two of them coaxed her into turning off the lights and lying down.
The two of them had been running all day today, and coupled with their fear, not long after they lay down, they could hear snoring one after another.
After Song Jin made sure that both of them were asleep, she took out the spiritual spring water from the space and drank it. She was too nervous during the day, and there were always people around her, so she didn't think about the spiritual spring water.
After drinking a glass of spiritual spring water, I felt a warm and comfortable feeling in my lower abdomen, which had been twitching slightly.
Then I went to the pharmacy with the mentality of giving it a try. Previously, there were only some basic pills there, and the rest were empty bottles.
She tried, and there were still many empty bottles, but the pregnancy-preserving pills contained medicine, not only pregnancy-preserving pills, but also fertility pills and repair pills.
She didn't dare to take it carelessly. She carefully read the effects on the pills and confirmed that they were for the three stages of pregnancy. Only then did she take the pregnancy-preserving pills with confidence. She also placed the other two medicine bottles in the most conspicuous place to ensure that she could take them out immediately when she needed them.
After taking the pregnancy-preserving pills, she felt more at ease.
But after I calmed down, I couldn't help but think of the conversation I had with Lin Lanshan today.
Now that she thinks about it, she has been wandering in this era as an outsider ever since she traveled through time.
Although she knew in her heart that she would stay here forever, especially when she returned home several times in her dreams and saw the current situation of her family.
She is also trying hard to live and wants to take root here, but she is unwilling to change her personality, socialize or make more friends, and even lives her life like a god.
They think they know the future development of society, and rely on the space and countless wealth they have to live a life of mediocrity.
She never thought that there was anything wrong with her ideas before. Even when Chen Liang was busy going out early and coming back late, she couldn't understand why he had to work so hard when he was so rich, with so much money in the space, and a steady supply of food, pastures, orchards, shopping malls and buildings.
Does he have someone outside?
Is he annoying himself?
Are you avoiding her by leaving early and coming back late?
She had been thinking a lot recently, and sometimes she was actually awake when he came back in the middle of the night. An idea came into her mind, and she wanted to secretly look at his clothes to see if there were any long hairs, lipstick marks, or any woman's scent.
This is what I used to see on TV.
She was crazy and not like herself. She tried hard to restrain herself. No, she couldn't do that. That was not normal.
She didn't know why she became like this.
She even started losing her hair and her complexion looked bad.
Chen Liang didn't notice all this.
She felt even more uncomfortable, but her mind told her that it was impossible, it would not happen. Even if something really happened, she had money and a house, and it was better to be alone.
Emotions were pulling her back again; Chen Liang was different to her after all.
She felt as if she were ill.
Last week was her worst time and she rejected Lin Lanshan's invitation.
It was really hard to refuse her this week, so I agreed to go out for a walk with her to change my mood.
Only now, when the doctor told her that she was pregnant, did she seem to feel relieved.
She found an outlet for her bad mood, perhaps because she was pregnant and had such wild thoughts.
She didn't know whether doctors could detect it now. She suspected that she had depression and reflected on why she was like this.
After much thought, it came down to the fact that she might be too indifferent and had no close friends. If Lin Lanshan hadn't contacted her from time to time, she wouldn't have thought of her on her own initiative.
Without any family, she always peeks at other people's happiness in the corner and tells herself, I have money and a house, I lack nothing.
Once her only lover distances herself from her, she will feel that she is all alone in the world.
The job has now been taken over by someone else. She is just that kind of person. Her enthusiasm is only temporary and she wants to try everything she likes.
She gave up the opportunity to appear on TV as an announcer and host, mainly because she felt it was too tedious and she had gained what she deserved.
She chose to work behind the scenes and her position changed.
Then I had some free time.
The more she thought about it, the lonelier she felt. She seemed to be stuck in a vicious circle again.
By the time she reacted, her face was covered with tears.
She looked at the night outside the window and thought about Chen Liang. Did he go back and find that she was gone? Would he be worried?
Or maybe he wouldn't go home tonight and not realize she wasn't home at all.
Then I thought to myself masochistically, you see, even if I’m gone, no one will notice.
At this moment, she was trapped in the cage she had drawn for herself and could not see Aunt Lan and Erya beside her.
Song Jin never thought that Chen Liang would have such a profound influence on her.
Just as she was daydreaming, she heard the door open.
She turned her head while lying on the hospital bed. There was a dim light in the corridor outside, the lights in the room were off, and the person at the door was standing with his back to the light, so she couldn't see clearly who it was.
But she knew that it was Chen Liang who came. He stood at the door for a long time without coming in.
Song Jin didn't call him. Even though she couldn't see the person clearly, she kept turning her head and looked quietly towards the door.
She was now extremely conflicted. She wanted to have a big fight with him, beat him up and tell him to get out.
But she has always been a person who never shows her emotions, and she is used to hiding her emotions.
Everything was weighed down in her heart. She never thought there was anything wrong with it before, but after this pregnancy and almost miscarriage, Song Jin felt it.
There is a beast in her heart, and it is about to break free.
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