Chapter 66 What I'm Really Afraid of

Chu Ran successfully settled down in the Prince Consort's Mansion, which served as his temporary refuge outside the palace during this period of time.

But in fact, Chu Ran started to regret it not long after he settled down.

He regretted his impulsiveness. Without thinking it through, he just stayed there based on Li Fu's words "it won't cause any trouble".

Li Fu returned to Beijing to report on his father's work and to attend Li Gaoyou's wedding. After Li Gaoyou's wedding, Li Fu would return to Yunzhou.

After Li Fu leaves this time, I don’t know how many years it will be before we meet again.

He knew clearly that Li Fu could not stay in the capital for a long time and that Li Fu would eventually return to Yunzhou.

Since meeting Li Fu again, Chu Ran knew what kind of attitude he had towards Li Fu. Like a stranger, or to be more precise, more like a familiar stranger.

In fact, it was not entirely because Li Fu had hardly replied to his letters in all these years. Even if Li Fu had not replied to him, their feelings would not have faded to the point where they became strangers.

Even if their feelings really faded that much, as long as there was a will, as long as Chu Ran had a will, the two of them could still rebuild their faded feelings.

All of these were not the real reason for their estrangement. The real reason was Chu Ran's intentional distance.

He knew what he was really afraid of and worried about.

He was afraid that although they had only been reunited for a few months, in the years that followed, he would only be accompanied by long-lasting thoughts and concerns.

He was afraid that the feelings he had finally rekindled would become thin and faded, just like before, in the long river of time when he could neither see nor touch each other.

He was afraid of repeating the same mistake.

The feelings he gave were like a handful of pearls he casually dropped on the ground. He was so carefree when he dropped them, but when he picked them up one by one with his own hands, he realized how painful it was.

The results are the same.

Chu Ran thought that even if he and Li Fu "reconciled", Li Fu would still leave the capital, just like when Li Fu left the palace, the result would not change.

If that's the case, then what's the point of starting over?

It would be better for Li Fu to stand where he should stand and not try to get close to Chu Ran. Chu Ran also stood where he should stand obediently. As long as Li Fu did not move, Chu Ran would not move either.

This is the best.

But now, Chu Ran lives with Li Fu again, just like many years ago, the trajectory of fate overlaps at this moment.

It was just that last time, Chu Ran still had a bit of unrealistic fantasy in his heart, but now, Chu Ran has grown up and matured, and he will never have such fantasy again.

Chu Ran still went to supervise the work every day as usual, but because the time Chu Ran got up early and went out coincided with the time Li Fu went into the palace, but their directions were exactly opposite, they could not go together, and Chu Ran could not catch Li Fu's ride. Fortunately, Uncle Xing prepared a new carriage for Chu Ran.

Uncle Xing personally drove the carriage over for him, so Chu Ran naturally thought that this was Uncle Xing's idea. He even said to Uncle Xing happily: "Thank you, Uncle, you are really thoughtful."

Xing Ji smiled and said, "Not only did I think of it, but the prince also thought of it."

Chu Ran heard it, but pretended not to hear it and ducked into the carriage.

In addition to the carriages coming and going, Chu Ran also found that there were many more people around him.

Most of them were unfamiliar faces, except for one whom Chu Ran knew.

His name seemed to be "Jinbao", and he had an older brother named "Jinyuan". The two looked very similar, and it was difficult to tell them apart if you didn't look carefully. Chu Ran guessed that the two were twins, and they had basically always been inseparable from Li Fu.

After being busy for several days, Chu Ran planned to take a day off.

Li Fu went out early in the morning for something. Li Fu has been very busy recently, although Chu Ran didn't know what he was busy with.

Chu Ran unfolded a picture. There was a pond on the picture. There were circles connected to each other around the pond, like stones surrounding the pond. Some of the circles had crosses and some had hooks. Where there were hooks, there was a small bridge connecting to the circle in front.

Chu Ran spread the hand-drawn picture on the stone table in the middle of the yard, and took out two agate stones of different sizes and shapes from his sleeves.

"This one is yours, and this one is mine."

Chu Ran gave one agate stone to Xing Ji. There were two starting points on the diagram, which were located at the diagonal positions. Chu Ran and Xing Ji each placed their own agate stone at the starting point.

Then Chu Ran started rolling the dice. Whoever rolled six first could go first. In the end, Chu Ran rolled six, so Chu Ran went first.

“You come to a fork, so you take two steps back.”

Chu Ran instructed Xing Ji on how to step back, and then he threw again, throwing four points. His agate just reached the place where the hook was drawn, so Chu Ran crossed the bridge smoothly and jumped onto the circle on the other side.

When the two were playing halfway, a servant came and said that the fifth prince Li Dingning had arrived.

"Your Highness is here?" Chu Ran said with a smile, "Please invite Your Highness in."

Chu Ran guessed that Li Dingning didn't find him at the construction site, so he asked around and found out that he had been living with Li Fu recently, so he came here.

Li Dingning saw two people playing chess, so he walked over out of curiosity.

"What is this? Xiao Linzi, what are you playing? It looks like fun, I want to play too."

Xing Ji had already stood up and made room for Li Dingning. Li Dingning sat down. Chu Ran explained the rules of the game to Li Dingning. Li Dingning listened carefully. After listening, Li Dingning said, "Then it's my turn to roll the dice, right?"

"right."

"Oh, what bad luck! I threw a three. I'm on the fork. Should I take two steps back?"

"yes."

"Okay, I'll take two steps back."

Li Dingning reluctantly took two steps back.

After playing two rounds with Xing Ji and a few rounds with Li Dingning, Chu Ran didn’t want to play anymore.

"Your Highness, let's play again another day."

“But I just started playing.”

Chu Ran said: "Then you play with him."

Chu Ran pointed at Uncle Xing.

Li Dingning glanced at Xing Ji and shook his head. But looking at Chu Ran, it seemed that he really didn't want to continue playing. Li Dingning grabbed Chu Ran's hand and shook it like a spoiled child, "Xiao Linzi, play with me for a while longer. I just started playing, so please continue to play with me."

Chu Ran really didn't want to continue playing, but he really had no way to deal with Li Dingning.

Just like the countless times he had tolerated and compromised with Li Dingning in the past, Chu Ran sighed and was about to continue playing with him.

"Let go."

Chu Ran turned his head, and Li Dingning also raised his head and looked behind Chu Ran at the same time.

Li Fu stood not far away and looked at them. He said expressionlessly, "Li Dingning, let go of your hands."