"you say."
"You know, I'll keep it short so you don't bother me. Actually, ever since those things happened with Fu Yuyao, I've noticed something's wrong. That time, the Central Domain Secret Realm opened, and we met for the last time. I saw that you didn't enter the secret realm. Actually, during that time, I felt that something was wrong with me. There were some thoughts that I couldn't control myself. Shen Qingyi... Actually, they never let me go, and I never changed my own destiny..."
Shen Qingyi felt a sense of vicissitudes, even death, from Chu Jing!
"Over the years, I've lost control more and more often. Once, I almost killed my master. Since then, I've locked myself in a secret room. My master has tried to find a way to save me, but... it was all in vain. For hundreds of years, I could only observe what was happening outside through the water mirror. I watched my former friends and peers grow up step by step, witnessed the separation of life and death, and the separation and reunion..."
"I was once a Taoist prodigy. I also felt that I was born extraordinary and would definitely make a name for myself in the future..."
"I want to stick to what you want. I also want to be like you, steadfast, like Yunye going upstream, like Song Mian being reborn from the ashes, like Xiao Liuyan, consistent, like Gu Mingxue, daring to love and hate, like Wen Yinghan, following my heart, like Lin Xun, having the truth in my heart, like Chu Yuliang, having thoughts in my heart... I also want to not smile when I'm in a bad mood, and laugh heartily when I'm happy. I want freedom, I want to be a Chu Jing! Even if... even if... everyone doesn't like me, at least... at least I like it... But I really can't hold on any longer..."
"I don't know what I can hold on to! What can I hold on to? Morality! Justice! Righteousness! Pride! Nobility! Self-respect! I want all of these too!"
As Chu Jing spoke, he became a little excited again.
"But...but I can't even live anymore! There are more than just one person who wants to defy fate and change their destiny. It's not just you and me! But, in this world, there are even more people like me, trapped in life, trapped in the world, trapped in this world!"
A big gamble, but ended up losing everything!
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