Chapter 210 Feathers: A Token of Love
As soon as she finished speaking, Shen Lixia became excited.
In her excitement, she couldn't help but get up, and with a thud, she slammed her head against the headboard.
Qiao Yanshen was startled and subconsciously reached out to cover the top of her head, his fingertips sinking into the warm strands of hair to check for any injuries.
The slight coolness made the burning pain even clearer.
Her movements were gentle and careful as she softly stroked the boy's fluffy head.
Although Shen Lixia was afraid of pain, she rarely shed tears because of it; at most, she would just grimace. Right now, she was biting her lip, and before she could even think of what to say, tears were already streaming down her face, like a continuous stream of hot, warm tears flowing between her eyes, soaking the pillowcase beneath her.
She stared blankly at Qiao Yanshen. His thin lips and tender eyes were the same as before, with even a few drops of water glistening on his lips, exuding a lingering affection.
He had just kissed her tenderly and deeply, yet now he was saying such cruel things.
Their calves were still pressed tightly together, and Qiao Yan felt the person in his arms tense up, trembling slightly like a startled bird.
Shen Lixia's tears flowed more and more, at a loss, trying her best to think of what she had done wrong. Her heart felt as if it were being squeezed by an invisible hand, swelling with blood and sorrow that had nowhere to go, yet she also felt that the bump she had just made was really ridiculous, her face showing a mixture of crying and laughing, her lips trembling slightly.
With rapid breathing, Shen Lixia knew she must look extremely disheveled.
Finally, she choked out, "Why...why?"
Why are you suddenly saying things like that...?
Should she not have asked her? But the faint taste of blood, carried on her tongue by the kiss, filled her with worry, fearing that her senior sister was enduring the pain again, swallowing everything alone...
Should we trust our senior sister a little more?
Asking that question was like negating all of her previous efforts to express herself. Shen Lixia was filled with regret, not knowing how to make amends. She wished she could turn back time so she could think of a more suitable way and ask her more carefully.
It hurt terribly everywhere. Even though they were pressed tightly together, and Qiao Yanshen's hand was even affectionately resting on the back of his head, it was so cold that he wanted to shiver.
Afraid that she would cry uncontrollably and look terrible, Shen Lixia raised her hand, which had been tightly wrapped around Qiao Yanshen's waist, wiped away her tears, and sniffed.
"If I do something that upsets my senior sister..."
"No, no, how could that be?" Qiao Yanshen interrupted in a low voice, wanting to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly to comfort her, but she gently pushed him away, reducing his strength.
Shen Lixia raised her head, her golden eyes glistening with tears that clung to her skin, making Qiao Yanshen suddenly realize—he hadn't seen her cry in months. It seemed that after that night, she had held back all her tears, no longer revealing her emotions so easily.
But one sentence from Qiao Yanshen still made her burst into tears.
"Don't say 'How could that be...'" Shen Lixia bit her lip, "Senior sister is just trying to comfort me again..."
Normally it's one thing, but at times like these, her gentle words only intensify the unease in people's hearts.
Seeing her stubborn and tearful appearance, Qiao Yanshen couldn't help but sigh softly, his eyes crinkling into a smile, and his voice gentle as water: "Silly girl."
This was the first time she had called Shen Lixia that. The words lingered, rippling like waves in the distance where she could feel the warmth of his breath.
Compared to the playful nicknames they used to use, this one has a particularly gentle feel.
The three words landed softly in her ears, and as if finally realizing she had been a bit too intense, Shen Lixia lowered her head and nestled silently in her arms. Qiao Yanshen's shallow breaths echoed in her ear, interspersed with a low sigh, his fingertips tracing through her thick hair.
"If I don't like you, why should I coax you? Breaking up doesn't mean never seeing each other again."
The young man had a pleasant scent, not particularly rich, but just the faint soapy smell of someone who loves cleanliness. Before, when you got close, you could feel the slight chill of the biting wind and snow, but now that he had come down from the snow-capped mountain and been touched by the warmth of human life, it had become slightly warmer.
Like an autumn morning adorned with frost and mist, she was enveloped in silence, immersing the person buried in her embrace into a state of tranquility.
They were pressed so close together that if Shen Lixia moved even slightly, Qiao Yanshen could feel her soft hair brushing against his heart, like a bird's tail feathers reaching in and gently rubbing against him.
She added, "You didn't do anything to upset me. Since I said I wouldn't leave you, I mean I won't... You see, after two lifetimes, we've finally come back to each other. Such is fate, how could it easily break apart?"
Then, as if he had guessed Shen Lixia's thoughts, Qiao Yanshen smiled and said calmly, "If you feel that you are not good-looking when you cry and are ashamed, then bury yourself for a while longer. If you are tired, go to sleep."
"I'm not sleepy." Shen Lixia didn't deny the previous statement, but said in a low voice, "I'm not sleepy."
Even though he had just drunk that strong, sweet liquor, and the heat made his whole body feel hot, it had all vanished in fear after Qiao Yanshen's words.
"Then lift your head and look at me." Qiao Yanshen loosened his grip slightly, twirling a strand of her hair in his hand. "Look into my eyes, okay?"
Shen Lixia raised her head, tiny, trembling tears clinging to her eyelashes.
Just as she had said, Qiao Yanshen stared intently at Shen Lixia. Her eyes, illuminated by the flickering candlelight, resembled a night-blooming cereus in full bloom under the moonlight, or a sapphire frozen in the moment as dust was swept away, shimmering with a gentle, ethereal light.
...Intentional.
Now she couldn't take her eyes off him, and Qiao Yanshen took in all the details of her expression.
But Shen Lixia couldn't bring herself to be angry.
After all, if gentleness were to have a concrete projection, it would undoubtedly be these eyes that are gazing at her.
Like seawater surging under the silver light, carrying a chill, it gently swept across her heart and then poured down from above.
Her whole world is contained within it.
After a moment, the boy said in a hoarse whisper, "I'm scared. I'm scared of being separated from you..."
Every time we part, every time we meet again, you suddenly seem farther away. Sometimes you're right beside me, but I can't feel your heart—I don't want to experience that feeling again. Sometimes, if I don't hold you, it's like you're melting away, disappearing...
To Qiao Yanshen, her words and thoughts must have sounded extremely selfish.
"What if I can't find you? I get so anxious and restless just from being apart from you for a day..."
As if sensing her current panic, the long-dormant resentment within his divine fire also rose to the surface.
The separations between them were too numerous, whether in life or death, becoming irreparable wounds deeply etched into their souls, impossible to forget. Shen Lixia tried her best to control her emotions, which were on the verge of spiraling out of control. The blood vessels that suddenly surged and throbbed did not seem to belong to her body at this moment, but rather soft, fine, and deeply rooted branding irons in every corner of her body.
Even though several voices in her heart were screaming things like "Don't let her go," she just pursed her lips, tears streaming down her face, and took Qiao Yanshen's hand, resting her cheek in her palm and gently placing her softest eyes between her fingertips.
That golden hue, like a glass jar filled with honey, was soaked in warm water, telling many words that she could not utter with her choked sobs.
"The most important people in my life... have all left me." After a long while, Shen Lixia whispered, "You...you mustn't leave me."
Let her say these things just this once.
I will not leave you.
Qiao Yanshen repeated, "You are the person in this world who understands me best and is most in tune with my heart... We will be together in life and in death, and we will never be separated."
She rarely uttered such vows, not even when the boy was watching her expectantly in the lake, she hadn't said the word "forever," but now she said it firmly.
Qiao Yanshen gently stroked Shen Lixia's thin eyelids without making a sound, then lowered his head slightly to touch her forehead. "If I break my promise, I will start from the River Styx, and even if I only have a tiny bit of my soul left, I will swim and swim... back to Lixia's side."
"Senior sister is coaxing me again." Their breaths mingled, and her warm breath fell on her lips. Shen Lixia finally stopped sobbing and was able to speak in a complete sentence.
"If I break my promise, even if I become a bird, I will be the bluebird that brings news, carrying the wind to fly to your palm."
She knew that Qiao Yanshen was determined to leave, and there had been signs of it for a long time.
Qiao Yanshen pinched her cheek. "Don't talk nonsense."
"Senior sister started by talking nonsense." Shen Lixia laughed. "Where are you going? If you don't have a reason, I'll secretly follow you."
"The Demon Realm." Qiao Yanshen raised his hand to wipe away the tear stains still clinging to her cheeks. "I don't know what's there, and you possess divine fire. You're not allowed to come with me until I figure out the situation."
When are you leaving?
"I'll leave when you stop crying."
Shen Lixia blinked. "Then I'll just keep crying."
“That’s a good idea,” Qiao Yanshen tapped her nose, “but I still prefer to see my junior sister smile, what should I do?”
Shen Lixia suddenly stopped speaking. In the silence, her breathing was soft, and the sound of fabric rubbing could be heard—she broke free from Qiao Yanshen's arm, turned over, and refused to be affectionate with her anymore.
She had never been angry with Qiao Yanshen, not because she was a good-tempered person, but simply because when she liked someone, she saw everything about them as perfect, and ultimately, she couldn't get angry. She didn't know how to love someone; the experience she had gained from her past and present lives was too limited.
The person who loved her tenderly didn't stay with her for long before leaving.
Therefore, even with words like "love" and "like," she first experiences them in their essence before learning how to express them.
I just want to give her the softest, best, and most beloved things.
As if singing softly, Qiao Yanshen said gently, "We'll talk about it after we get to the snowfield and deliver Master's sword. I'm not leaving right away, so why don't you treat this as a farewell with plenty of time... She only has a day or two left, but we have so much time, don't we? See me off, little bird."
Shen Lixia closed her eyes.
A moment later, a pair of arms wrapped around her waist, and the young man behind her pressed close to her. His voice was ambiguous and hazy at such close proximity, like mist brushing against her ear.
She said, "I'm cold."
Shen Lixia let her hug her and said softly, "I hate Senior Sister." It was the first time she had said this, and when the words came out, she felt a pang of pain in her heart, as if she were thinking—how could she say such a thing?
But she really hated that she never changed her mind once she made a plan, silently thinking everything through by herself, and by the time she found out, everything was already decided.
Qiao Yanshen was silent for a moment, then said, "You're lying. Just now, your eyes were full of affection for me. Were you looking somewhere else?"
Shen Lixia fell silent.
Qiao Yanshen buried his face in her shoulder, embraced by her soft hair.
After a moment of silence, Shen Lixia suddenly said, "Let go of each other first..."
Her voice was soft, revealing a faint weariness, as if she were suppressing something deeper. Qiao Yanshen was slightly puzzled, and although worried, he loosened his grip slightly.
Shen Lixia faced her again, propped herself up on her elbows, and magically extended her other hand from behind her back, pinching a thin golden light.
Upon closer inspection, the shimmering golden light faded, replaced by a vibrant crimson blooming between the light and shadow. Its color seemed to overwhelm all bright things in the world, trembling proudly, like a cluster of fiery red plum blossoms opening in the snow.
—It's a feather.
What's unusual is that, unlike the others that quickly wither after leaving Shen Lixia's body, this feather shows no signs of decay as time passes and seconds go by; it remains new, bright, and warm.
“This is my most important feather,” Shen Lixia said earnestly. “Dragons have the most fragile yet most beautiful reverse scale, which they use as a token of love when they find someone they love. Divine birds also have their most precious feathers… I don’t yet have the ability to keep ordinary feathers from fading, but this one is special; it won’t fade.”
Just as a dragon would suffer excruciating pain if its scales were touched, she would also experience pain, but she never regretted it.
"Take this with you, and no matter how far you go, remember that I'm with you."
“The most precious feather,” she repeated softly, “is given to the person I cherish most.”
Just as she wished, it will never wither.
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Author's Note: I was really enjoying writing when I looked at the word count and was shocked. I had no idea I could write such a drawn-out piece...
Xia was actually still angry, but she was just being stubbornly angry (?) because she knew that her senior sister had been hesitating about this decision for a long time.
To be honest, both of them tend to soften in the end when they're angry. I don't know if it's just that I can't write it well or if they're really like that. But don't worry, they'll have plenty of fights to come (hey?).
And a long, unrelated note (please read selectively).
The inspiration for this story originated from an idea I had a long time ago, and I'm really happy to be able to gradually fill in the gaps in it. I'm also happy to see more and more readers following the story and leaving comments. Compared to the beginning, this is already a great blessing.
However, I still feel it "doesn't meet expectations" because the beginning was very rushed, resulting in many foreshadowing elements being planted but also being quite cumbersome, leading to a rather chaotic conclusion. Overall, I feel this story is evenly split between romance and plot, which shows that the author doesn't have much ambition and just wanted to write about lesbian relationships, love, and hate (.). However, many of the current effects don't quite match my expectations, so I want to carefully plan the subsequent plot arrangements to avoid sudden changes in ideas or style that could turn this story into a hodgepodge.
The characters in the story are numerous and diverse, but I have drafted a rough story framework for each of them in my mind. Now, the more I write, the more I feel that the framework is not enough, and I am afraid I need to carefully organize their past and present lives.
(Speaking of this, I've actually considered writing a separate book about the past life, and a side story about the supporting characters. But that would make three books, which is terrifying!)
I'm saying this because I went back to work after the holiday, and I also adjusted the plot later (you can check the supporting character section), so the update frequency is still not very high... I'm really sorry TT Anyway, I really have a lot to say, and thank you to all the darlings who have been following the updates. I'll send you all a big red envelope during the Chinese New Year ().
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