Chapter 100 My Heart Delights You, Please Forgive Me for Expressing My Feelings Without My Permission.
The cicadas' chirping gradually subsided, and the heavy night descended.
The lively atmosphere of the banquet lingered in her ears, then slowly quieted down, replaced by the sound of water boiling and the bitter smell of medicine. This scent, too, had faded into the distance, becoming a wisp of smoke that brushed past her nose, causing Wu Zhuyue to open her eyes.
A person dressed in white sat by the bed, long hair hanging down, slender and aloof. It was her master. She thought groggily, her lips and tongue dry as she tried to speak, an extremely uncomfortable heat rising from her throat.
Noticing she was awake, the woman moved closer, placing her palm on her forehead. The slight dampness was from sweat.
As if afraid of making a mistake, Si Liuhua drew closer and closer in Wu Zhuyue's sight. His white robes almost touched her cheeks, exuding a warm, herbal fragrance. It was so warm, yet so cool; it felt comfortable against her skin, and the heat in her body didn't seem so unbearable anymore.
Her long hair, like deep water, carried a coolness as it fell, obscuring her vision. Si Liuhua pressed his forehead against hers, then touched her forehead with his lips. The soft touch was like a gentle breeze, and it was gone before she could feel much of it.
In a blur, she heard Si Liuhua sigh softly.
"It was my oversight; I forgot to give you more clothes."
However, I was already wearing enough clothes. I just hadn't paid attention when I was practicing with my sword and took off most of them on my own, which is why I suddenly caught a cold.
After getting up and finishing her medicine, Wu Zhuyue swallowed half a bowl of warm water and then let Si Liuhua wipe her neck, arms and back with a warm towel before lying down again.
Such an illness might not be a big deal to her master, but it was the first time Wu Zhuyue had seen worry in Si Liuhua's eyes. She gazed at herself, her eyes warmed by the lamplight, calm and gentle, like a mother gazing at her child.
Their actions also showed a level of intimacy not seen on ordinary days, which stirred Wu Zhuyue's heart. Taking advantage of her severe and urgent illness, she pretended to be still confused, grabbed Si Liuhua's sleeve, and begged her not to leave.
Her master wouldn't indulge her. That was what she thought, but after a rustling sound, a pair of hands suddenly wrapped around her waist and pulled her into an embrace.
Si Liuhua's voice was very close, so it sounded soft and gentle, like a gentle coaxing: "Go to sleep. When you wake up again, you will be better."
When you're sick, you don't sleep well, but this time, when the woman held her in her arms and pressed her against that cool white dress, it was as if she was being enveloped by the unique softness and care of her mother that she remembered from a long time, and she quickly fell into a deep sleep.
When she opened her eyes again, she felt refreshed, but she was still groggy when she stood up. Wu Zhuyue got out of bed, and the surroundings had changed; it was the small house in the bamboo forest.
The surroundings were dilapidated, and the other children were nowhere to be seen. She was panicked and confused when she heard a creak, and the door was pushed open. A handsome young man came into view, looking at her as if she were a stranger, with a coldness and indifference that followed disbelief.
That was Lu Changqing. Wu Zhuyue looked down and saw that her clothes were dirty and messy, her hands were covered in wounds, and there were several whip marks on her back that stung.
What happened? How...?
Lu Changqing no longer called her "Xiao Wu" affectionately, but instead said dismissively, "So you were a refugee before?"
Wu Zhuyue bit her lip. Her hands and feet felt heavy, and her lips and tongue seemed to have lost their function, unable to utter a single word. For the first time, she realized that this usually warm person could have such cold eyes when he wasn't smiling, eyes that could pierce her chest and make her feel suffocated, almost unable to breathe.
Lu Changqing slowly walked over. The closer she got, the more Wu Zhuyue wanted to disappear, wishing her weak legs could stand up immediately and cut the chains. But the knife was gone, and her clean clothes had turned into rough, old cloth. Everything she had gained had vanished completely at that moment.
As the boy's rich fragrance drew nearer, Wu Zhuyue trembled and raised her hand to cover her face, tears of anguish streaming down her face.
Tears streamed down his face, the touch was icy cold, and then he felt a lightness on his body as the boy on the bed suddenly opened his eyes.
The cool night air carried a damp scent on her nose. It was a dream, and she was finally waking up, gasping for breath as if she had survived a disaster, her heart pounding fiercely.
Her memory was still stuck at the moment of the Fire Ritual, when she ran away from Lu Changqing, and the smoke had already disappeared, as if someone had cast a purification spell on her.
Wu Zhuyue lay there for a while, staring blankly at the ceiling, until her heartbeat calmed down before she sat up.
It was clearly a dream, but she remembered it very clearly.
The illness was indeed cured. The cold had come on suddenly, but it had also subsided quickly. Even such a fierce illness became docile under Si Liuhua's care, requiring only a few days of suffering. Wu Zhuyue only discovered the sugar in the medicine when she was almost fully recovered, and a strange sense of shame welled up in her heart, as if she were still being treated like a child.
They never got that close again. Wu Zhuyue knew that although her master was always gentle with her, he was always very measured. Now, when she recalled that day, she always felt that there was a faint, indescribable, complex emotion mixed in her master's gaze.
It was as if I saw another person through her.
Perhaps it was because she had taken care of someone in this way that she became gentle because of her willfulness and coquetry, and her soft heart was almost to the point of spoiling.
Perhaps her master had once cared for children like her before sending them to the sect. Wu Zhuyue still didn't understand Si Liuhua's purpose in slaughtering the sect, but as someone whose life her mother had risked to support, she herself was burdened with the responsibility of another's life, and was constantly cared for by Si Liuhua, so she couldn't possibly blame him.
Compared to true righteousness, the gratitude her master owed her was genuine. Even if one day he were to point his sword at her, Wu Zhuyue would simply close her eyes and offer her neck.
Her master and her mother were the two most important people in her life.
Secondly, there are friends and teachers from the sect...
Thinking of this, and recalling Lu Changqing's gaze in her dream, Wu Zhuyue felt a sudden pang of pain in her heart and raised her hand to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes.
She actually started crying.
Something was knocked over by her slight movement, making a crisp sound. Wu Zhuyue bent down to pick it up, and was stunned when she saw what it was.
Under the pure white moonlight, a vibrant azalea lay quietly on the ground.
She picked it up and discovered that there was a jade pendant with flowing clouds underneath, which was why it made that sound.
A familiar aura of spiritual energy flowed through the flower branches, revealing at a glance who had given it to them.
The boy's gentle smile then surfaced in her mind, dispelling all the chill of the dream. Wu Zhuyue felt as if she had been burned by a flower branch; her hand hovered in the air, afraid to touch it.
Her first feeling was despair, shutting out almost all her emotions. Her lips parted silently, but she couldn't utter a single word, let alone let it reach the other person's ears.
Lu Changqing, could you please not make me like you?
-
The next morning, when Shen Lixia opened her eyes and saw no one beside her, she hurriedly sat up, bumping her elbow against the headboard, when she was suddenly struck by a headache.
Oh no, I drank too much last night.
She tried to get out of bed, but her head was too heavy and she almost fell. Just then, someone heard the noise, quickened their pace, and entered the room.
"Li Xia, don't rush."
Qiao Yanshen carried the hangover soup and sat down on the chair by the bed. Shen Lixia stared blankly at her, feeling as if her terribly groggy brain had forgotten something.
It seems she went directly to her master's place last night and invited her eldest sister away.
And then what happened?
The dream and the present moment were intertwined. Shen Lixia closed her eyes and tried hard to recall, finally managing to salvage some fragments.
like.
I like my senior sister.
...When you think like this, do you actually say it out loud?
Her heart felt like the sky had fallen, but then she felt a warmth on her lips. Shen Lixia opened her eyes and saw Qiao Yanshen holding a bowl, bringing her a spoonful of hangover soup to drink.
The heat was rising uncontrollably, and the young man cleared his throat, saying, "No need to trouble you, Senior Sister, I'll drink it myself."
As she spoke, she put the spoon in her mouth, then took the bowl, held the porcelain spoon in her hand, and gulped it down in one go.
It was warm, not hot, as if Qiao Yanshen had already cooled it down beforehand.
My senior sister is always so thoughtful.
However, Qiao Yanshen seemed to be deliberately doing the opposite of what she was doing, smiling apologetically, "I forgot to help you dispel the spiritual energy in the wine yesterday, otherwise you wouldn't be suffering from a hangover..."
"But Senior Sister made a hangover soup." Shen Lixia stuck out her tongue, and then stuffed a candied fruit into her mouth.
She chewed a few times and then said, "It was my own overestimation of my abilities that led me to drink too much."
Qiao Yan nodded, said nothing more, picked up the bowl, and got up to leave the inner room.
Shen Lixia stared at her, and just as the other was about to turn around, she suddenly called out, "Senior Sister!"
Qiao Yanshen stopped in his tracks, looking over with his usual gentle gaze.
Shen Lixia twisted her fingers together again, but finally steeled herself and asked, "Did I... say anything last night?"
If it crosses the line, is it the feeling of liking someone, or something else?
"Of course not," Qiao Yanshen smiled. "Junior Sister is sleeping soundly. But if she really did tell, I will keep it a secret for you, so there's no need to worry."
Shen Lixia nodded and mumbled "Okay." Only then did Qiao Yanshen leave the inner room. His clean white clothes were just as they were yesterday, spotless, subtly exuding an aloofness untouched by worldly affairs.
After sitting for a while, almost turning over all the memories in my mind, which caused my headache to strike again, I finally remembered some fragmented pieces.
Shen Lixia bit her lip, and after a long while, she finally broke the silence in the room with her voice.
"That's a lie."
My senior sister is such a good liar. She used to be someone who couldn't lie, at least I never lied to her, but now it's so natural for her.
She definitely said it, without a doubt. It doesn't matter if everything else is blurry, but she can't forget the other person's breath, warmth, and the elegant aura emanating from them, even amidst the smoky atmosphere. And then there's the sentence she uttered after being enveloped by that aura...
I love you.
Lies, lies. She clearly confessed her feelings, but her senior sister is pretending nothing happened. Does she expect her to act the same as always?
Why are you avoiding her like this?
Shen Lixia felt increasingly saddened as she thought about it, unable to muster any anger, only her eyes stinging and burning. But what good would crying do now? Was she going to use tears to soften her senior sister's heart again?
She raised her hand and vigorously wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, suppressing the tears. Then she took a deep breath, got out of bed, put on her shoes and socks, and, ignoring the slight dishevelment of her clothes, hurried outside. Finding no one in the hall, she went out to look for him and indeed found Qiao Yanshen standing in the courtyard, looking down at something on the ground.
Shen Lixia walked up to her, the words reaching her throat, but she couldn't help but soften them; she should have been more assertive.
"Senior Sister."
Qiao Yanshen raised his eyes and said gently, "Junior Sister, is there something you need?"
Shen Lixia thought she had projected a strong presence, but to her surprise, she didn't appear tough in Qiao Yanshen's eyes; instead, she seemed rather meek. The woman in front of her moved closer, raising her hand to cover her forehead. Shen Lixia pursed her lips and dodged away.
"I first asked my senior sister if I had said anything inappropriate last night, and she replied that I hadn't. It seems that alcohol is useless now, and I can only make up my mind to say it myself."
The boy clenched his fist, his eyes shining brightly, and his voice gradually shifted from trembling to firm.
"I love you... or I like you, or I admire you, whatever it is."
Just as she was about to say more, Qiao Yanshen stopped her completely by touching his lips with his fingertip.
Qiao Yanshen said softly, "Li Xia."
Her gaze slowly fell on the spot she had been looking at, leading Shen Lixia to look down as well, only to find that it was a handful of soil that had been gathered up.
The boy was familiar with this and knew that there should be a seed underneath, but he didn't understand what it meant. He looked at her in confusion and blinked.
Qiao Yanshen said, "I will give you an answer when the flowers bloom next year."
...Was it a polite refusal, or did they really just need more time?
Forget it, whatever it means, she didn't want to think about it anymore. Whatever her senior sister said, that was that.
Suppressing the surging bitterness in her heart, Shen Lixia asked softly, "Then... can I stay by Senior Sister's side?"
Qiao Yanshen lovingly reached out and lifted her chin, wiping away the slight tears that had welled up in the young girl without her even noticing.
She said softly, "Okay."
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The author says: The azalea symbolizes "forever yours." The flowing cloud jade pendant signifies peace and good fortune.
The senior sister didn't refuse, but there were still some things she hadn't thought about. The junior sister asked if she could accompany her, but what she really meant was, "Can I pursue you?"
We'll be together soon, so don't worry!
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