I'm really free.
The sunlight leaked in through the gap in the curtains, like a golden knife, gently scratching Cheng Xiaorui's eyelids.
He is dreaming.
In the dream, it was the summer when he was five years old. His mother held his hand and ran in the garden. Hydrangeas were in full bloom, blue, purple, pink, like an overturned paint box. His mother turned around and smiled at him, her long hair blown by the wind, her eyes filled with light.
"Chengcheng, come quickly!"
He was just about to reach out when suddenly a shrill alarm clock sound hit his ears, "Cheng Cheng! Get up!" It was his mother's voice, but a little hoarse than in his dream.
Cheng Xiaorui suddenly opened his eyes and looked around. The photo hanging on the wall reminded him: this is not a garden, it is his home.
He rubbed his eyes and walked out of the room to see his mother, Cheng Zhixu, standing in front of the stove, frying eggs. She was wearing home clothes and her hair was casually tied up, but her profile was still stunningly beautiful in the morning light.
"Mom?" Cheng Xiaorui shouted hoarsely, and suddenly hugged her from behind, burying his face in Cheng Zhixu's shoulder. Cheng Zhixu smelled of oil smoke, shampoo, and a light lemon scent.
"How old are you? You're still acting like a spoiled brat?" Cheng Zhixu smiled and tapped his forehead with the handle of the spatula. "Go brush your teeth! The egg's going to burn."
Cheng Xiaorui said in a muffled voice: "You were younger in my dream than you are now."
"What kind of dream are you having? Do you think I'm old?"
"I think you're pretty."
After breakfast and saying goodbye, Cheng Xiaorui picked up his schoolbag and headed to school. Outside the classroom, he looked at the sign on the door that read "Grade 2, Class 3," and finally sighed. As soon as he sat down, Zhou Mingxuan whistled:
"Princess Xiaorui looks so pale today. Who did you serve last night? Why didn't you bring any Swiss rolls today?"
Suddenly, shrill laughter erupted from all around. It was another boring, uninteresting, deliberate attempt to stir up trouble. Everyone knew about this day last week—"Hey, what goodies did Princess Cheng bring today?"
Zhao Dakun snatched his schoolbag and dumped out everything: textbooks, pencil case, stomach medicine... and a carefully wrapped Swiss roll.
"Fuck, this poor guy can afford to eat this?" Zhou Mingxuan picked it up and sniffed it exaggeratedly, "Is it stolen?" Cheng Xiaorui stared at the deformed cake and suddenly stood up.
"Give it back to me." The voice was frighteningly calm.
Zhou Mingxuan grinned, disapproving. In front of him, he threw the Swiss roll on the ground and stepped on it. The cream squeezed out, mixed with dust, like a bunch of rotten flowers.
“…”
But now, Cheng Xiaorui seemed not to have heard what he said at all. He just lowered his head and rummaged in his schoolbag without saying a word. He reached in and fumbled for a while, and finally took out a small box of stomach medicine.
"Oh, you're really sick?" Zhou Mingxuan was quick-witted and snatched the medicine box away before Cheng Xiaorui could react. He deliberately raised it higher, as if showing off a trophy. His eyes scanned the words on the box and he read aloud in a long, drawn-out tone: "Omeprazole?" Then, as if thinking of something, he raised his lips and raised his voice suddenly, with exaggerated mockery: "Huh? Stomach medicine? Could it be that you're secretly treating some unspeakable illness...like pregnancy?"
As soon as he finished speaking, a burst of suppressed and shrill laughter suddenly rang out all around him. Some people slammed the table, and some exchanged glances.
Cheng Xiaorui's eyes were fixed on the medicine box Zhou Mingxuan was holding and shaking back and forth. His face was expressionless.
"Do you think you're being funny?" The voice wasn't loud, but it suddenly pierced the noise like a needle. The whole room fell silent. Cheng Xiaorui continued, his tone steady, but each word clear: "I don't have time to make trouble with you. Please give it back to me."
Zhou Mingxuan seemed irritated by this calm reaction. Instead of returning it, he twirled the medicine box around his fingertips provocatively, tilting his head and grinning, "You want it? Sure—beg me?"
He shook the small paper box as if he was holding some powerful bargaining chip, and waited proudly for the other party to surrender.
The next second, Cheng Xiaorui picked up a chair and threw it forward.
The sound of the chair's wind suddenly stopped, and his arm, suspended in mid-air, trembled slightly in pain. Cheng Xiaorui turned his head and met Lu Ziyi's condescending eyes, his pupils appearing cold and transparent in the morning light.
"Mr. Cheng, fighting is not allowed in the classroom." Lu Ziyi's voice carried the elegant tone of aristocratic schools, with a slight rise at the end. His slender fingers grasped Cheng Xiaorui's wrist with the precision of surgical forceps, his thumb pressing precisely on the radial artery, applying pressure as the pulse beat.
“…”
Cheng Xiaorui could clearly feel the warmth of the other person's palm, which caused his stomach to cramp.
"If you want a fight, please go outside and do it." Lu Zi also leaned forward slightly, the movement causing the faint scent of his lily perfume to linger. To others, this was just a gesture to maintain discipline. Only Cheng Xiaorui saw the dark glint in his eyes, a calm surface but a hidden poison.
"Let go." Cheng Xiaorui gritted his teeth and lowered his voice. The knuckles of his right hand gradually turned white from the exertion.
Lu Ziyi's thumb suddenly rolled heavily over the protruding ulna of his wrist, and Cheng Xiaorui gasped. He saw the corners of his lips curl up in a perfect arc: "So excited?"
"Brother Lu!" Zhou Mingxuan suddenly interrupted, shaking the medicine box as if he was showing off his trophies, "I was just joking, and he actually wanted to hit me!" His exaggerated movements spread in the air.
Cheng Xiaorui swept his gaze across the classroom. The girl in the front row covered her mouth with a finger painted with clear nail polish, her mascara-stained eyes gleaming with excitement. The gymnastics committee member in the back row toyed with a basketball. Everyone had found their role in this impromptu performance.
"Give me back the medicine." Cheng Xiaorui's voice was soft, but it suddenly made the classroom quiet. He saw his own reflection in the glass window, his pale face covered with dark circles from staying up late.
Lu Ziyi suddenly let go. The chair, without support, fell to the ground, its metal legs colliding with the floor tiles with a harsh sound. Cheng Xiaorui stumbled back and accidentally bumped into the blackboard trough. He could hear his own chaotic heartbeat, and -
"It's time for class." Lu Ziyi adjusted his cuffs nonchalantly. He walked towards his seat with his back as straight as usual, as if the conflict just now was just a speck of dust brushed off his sleeve.
During class, an eraser suddenly struck the back of Cheng Xiaorui's head with a soft thud. He tensed his shoulders, clenching his fingers into fists beneath his desk, his nails already digging deep into his palms. He could feel Zhou Mingxuan's malicious gaze from behind him, clinging to his back like a venomous snake.
Cheng Xiaorui stared at the textbook spread out before him, the type blurring into a blur. A wave of extreme annoyance suddenly welled up in him. It was so boring. Even finding fault in class was so unoriginal, repeating such cheap and childish tricks. It was simply laughably stupid.
"Why are you ignoring me?"
A nagging sound came, but Cheng Xiaorui didn't turn around, only straightening his back. However, a second eraser flew over, this time hitting his solar plexus. The sharp pain made him hiss.
He turned his head suddenly, but received a grimace. When he turned back, he met the teacher's stern gaze.
“…”
The teacher looked at him, then at Zhou Mingxuan, "What are you doing? If you don't want to attend the class, go out!" The teacher slammed the podium. Zhou Mingxuan immediately put on an innocent expression:
"Teacher, Cheng Xiaorui said he wants to stand outside!" He tilted his head with a grin and made an exaggerated face at Cheng Xiaorui. A few chuckles rang out in the classroom. Cheng Xiaorui pursed his lips, and an unnatural blush appeared on his pale face. What's wrong with these people? Is this the only reaction they have to laugh over and over again? It's so boring.
"What nonsense are you talking about, Zhou Mingxuan," the teacher frowned, his tone filled with displeasure, "Do you think others are like you? Xiaorui is in the top ten in the grade in this monthly exam, what about you?"
"Tsk, I knew you were biased." Zhou Mingxuan rolled his eyes, leaned back in his chair, and muttered in a voice that was neither too loud nor too soft, just loud enough for the whole class to hear.
"What did you say?" The teacher was obviously angry, "Lawless! Stand outside!" The nonchalant expression on Zhou Mingxuan's face did not change at all. He stood up lazily, and the chair made a harsh sound on the floor.
"Just stand, it's boring." When he passed by Zhao Dakun's seat, the latter winked at him, and Zhou Mingxuan responded with an obscene gesture.
When the teacher turned to Cheng Xiaorui, his tone was much softer: "Xiaorui, don't worry about them, just focus on your studies."
Cheng Xiaorui nodded, but a slight pain came from his stomach. Fine cold sweat oozed from his forehead, and his vision began to black out. This damn thing started again. Ten minutes passed, and not only did the pain not subside, but it was accompanied by waves of nausea. Until he finally couldn't hold it anymore, he raised his hand tremblingly: "Teacher... Can I go to the bathroom?"
After getting permission, he hunched over and walked quickly towards the door, his head hanging down because of dizziness. As soon as he stepped out of the classroom, he bumped into a wall of people - it was Zhou Mingxuan who was punished to stand.
"Fuck, you have no eyes!" Zhou Mingxuan pushed him away in disgust, "Get out of here!
Cheng Xiaorui stumbled a few steps, his stomach churning. He didn't bother to argue, covering his mouth and rushing to the bathroom. Zhou Mingxuan's vicious curses came from behind him, but he was too busy to pay attention.
In the classroom, Zhao Dakun witnessed all this and secretly gestured to Zhou Mingxuan at the door. After a moment, he raised his hand exaggeratedly: "Teacher, I want to go to the toilet too!
"So much to do!" the teacher waved her hand impatiently. As soon as they left the classroom, Zhao Dakun's true colors were revealed, and he and Zhou Mingxuan walked towards the toilet arm in arm.
"I'm going to suffocate if I don't smoke." Zhao Dakun rubbed his fingers.
"I just bought these Double Happiness cigarettes yesterday," Zhou Mingxuan said proudly, pulling a pack of cigarettes from his trouser pocket. The two of them were laughing and walking down the hallway when they happened to run into the girl Zhao Dakun had a crush on. Zhao Dakun immediately straightened his collar and struck a pose that he thought looked handsome.
"Hi, do you want to walk together after school?"
The girl tutted in disgust and quickly left without looking back. Zhou Mingxuan laughed so hard that he slapped his thigh: "Fuck, you look like you've eaten shit!"
When they pushed open the restroom door, the stench of P&G toilets hit them. To their surprise, Cheng Xiaorui was retching over the sink, his gaunt figure trembling.
"Uh, who is this?" Zhao Dakun covered his nose, "I came here with morning sickness."
Cheng Xiaorui turned on the faucet, and the cold water washed over his pale face. He tried to walk around the two men and leave, but Zhao Dakun grabbed his shoulder.
"Are you pretending to be deaf? I'm talking to you!" Zhao Dakun used force on his hands, and his nails almost dug into Cheng Xiaorui's flesh.
Cheng Xiaorui broke free from his grip and turned to leave, but bumped into a taller figure at the door. Lu Ziyi stood there with his hands in his pockets, looking down at him. The moment their eyes met, Cheng Xiaorui's stomach cramped again. He pushed Lu Ziyi away and rushed to the sink to retch again.
"Hahaha! Brother Lu, does he think you are disgusting?" Zhao Dakun laughed so hard that he slapped his thigh.
Lu Ziyi shrugged, but his eyes were fixed on Cheng Xiaorui: "Do you have any cigarettes?"
"We just happened to be here for a smoke," Zhou Mingxuan said, offering the cigarette case. "Double Happiness, give it a try." Lu Ziyi took the cigarette but didn't light it immediately. He narrowed his eyes and studied Cheng Xiaorui, who was huddled by the sink.
"Well, is there anything else?"
"Who cares about an idiot like him?" Zhou Mingxuan sneered. "We just happened to meet. Class isn't over yet, so why did you happen to be in the bathroom?"
"As soon as I looked up, you two disappeared."
The two men smiled and lit Lu Ziyi's cigarette. Cheng Xiaorui wiped the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, cold sweat soaking through his school uniform shirt. He forced himself to stand up, wanting to leave this place filled with the smell of smoke and hostility.
"Who told you to leave?" Zhao Dakun suddenly grabbed his collar and yanked hard. Cheng Xiaorui lost his balance and fell heavily onto the slippery floor. He curled up in pain. If he hadn't been nauseous, he would have wanted to slap the two men.
Lu Ziyi's pupils shrank slightly, and Zhou Mingxuan covered his mouth: "Fuck, Zhao Dakun, you're too cruel."
"What are you afraid of?" Zhao Dakun kicked Cheng Xiaorui's calf nonchalantly. "I can afford to pay for this injury. His worthless life is worth nothing."
"It's so noisy." Lu Ziyi suddenly spoke, his voice as cold as ice. The toilet suddenly became quiet. He squatted down, twirling the cigarette between his fingers. Cheng Xiaorui tried to get up, but Lu Ziyi pressed the corner of his clothes with his knee. Lu Ziyi put the cigarette butt close to Cheng Xiaorui's face,
"Don't go. I have something to talk to you about." His fingers stroked Xiaorui's cold cheek, and finally stopped at his temples and gently rubbed them.
Cheng Xiaorui slapped his hand away: "Get out..." His voice was so weak that it was almost inaudible.
He struggled to crawl forward, but Lu Ziyi grabbed his ankle and dragged him back. Lu Ziyi sat astride him and blew a puff of smoke into his face. Cheng Xiaorui began to cough violently, tears streaming down his face.
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