Increase exercise
The corridor was silent, with only the sound of their footsteps.
After walking a few steps, Xu Yan suddenly stopped. He raised his head and looked at Lu Ziyi beside him. The sunlight outside the window reflected on his profile. The calmness just now turned into a complicated worry. He asked softly:
"How is Chen Zihan now?"
He asked hesitantly. That name represented a dark and chaotic memory, but it also represented a person who once existed. He knew that Chen Zihan's fate was carved out by Lu Ziyi himself.
Lu Ziyi also stopped and turned to face him. His eyes were gentle, not displeased by the question. He had expected Xu Yan to ask this and had a prepared answer.
"He's gone." Lu Ziyi's voice was calm. "After you left, he... probably finally realized what he had done."
He paused, organizing his words, hoping Xu Yan would understand more clearly: "He didn't insist, nor did he defend himself. He simply quietly packed up his things, left the city, and severed ties with almost everyone in his old circle."
Xu Yan listened quietly, with some fluctuations in his eyes, but more of a listening attitude.
"Later, I heard he went to the northwest, a very remote place." Lu Ziyi continued, his tone even carrying a subtle, complex sense of relief. "He stayed in a children's welfare home there. Not as an investor or inspector, but... like an ordinary volunteer, or, in other words, like someone atoning for his sins."
"He invested all his energy and all the money he could get his hands on. He took care of those children without parents, bought them books, built new dormitories, hired teachers... It was like he was using all his strength to protect the lives that truly needed protection and would not be harmed by his protection."
Lu Ziyi looked into Xu Yan's eyes and concluded, "He no longer participates in any company affairs and has completely withdrawn from that circle. Only occasionally, during Chinese New Year or Mid-Autumn Festival, would he come back for a day or two, and then leave again quickly."
"He seemed to be... using this method to find an outlet for himself, and also to find a proper home for his 'protective desire' that had nowhere to go and had been misused."
Xu Yan remained silent for a long time after hearing this. He lowered his head and looked at the smooth floor reflecting the clouds outside the window.
This is perhaps the best ending for everyone. Chen Zihan did not fall into depravity, nor did he continue to be paranoid. Instead, at the end of despair, he found a path of redemption for himself that was full of asceticism and dedication.
The young man who once imprisoned him in a small space eventually exiled himself to a wider world to learn what true "love" and "protection" are.
"That's fine..." Xu Yan finally said softly, as if he was relieved, as if he had finally put an end to a past event. He raised his head again and looked at Lu Ziyi, his eyes clear and calm.
After a long while, he finally spoke: "Let me ask you a question."
"you say."
Xu Yan stared at his well-defined profile: "When we were in high school, why did you... treat me like that?"
Those deliberate difficulties, cold looks, public humiliation... Even though the pain has scabbed over, even though they have come to this day, the confusion is still like a tiny thorn, hidden deep in the memory.
Lu Ziyi's body stiffened imperceptibly. He was silent for a moment, then pulled Xu Yan closer to him, as if that would give him some courage. When he spoke again, his voice was much lower, carrying a rare strain of self-dissection.
"I don't know." He gave a weak answer at first, then immediately denied it, "No, I know, but... that reason is terrible."
His fingers unconsciously stroked Xu Yan's shoulders, as if he was organizing his words, or as if he was recalling the past that even he could not understand.
"I can't control it." He repeated these four words, his tone filled with a hint of annoyance and confusion. "When I saw you, it was like a string snapped. The more silent you were, the more you endured, the more I wanted to... destroy that look of yours. I wanted to see you collapse, to see you show me anything but indifference."
He gave a wry smile. "Very perverted, isn't it? Even I feel like an unreasonable bastard. And at that time, I had no idea that you were Lu Xuhan, the one... the person I've been looking for for a long time."
Xu Yan listened quietly, breathing lightly.
Lu Ziyi took a deep breath and continued, "The turning point was that time at school when you knocked over my water cup."
He paused, lost in deeper memories: "Before you came, Zhao Dakun and the others were making a scene at your seat and rummaging through your drawers. Then... a photo slipped out."
His voice was filled with a sense of fate. "It was when I was eight years old. It was raining. You brought me home and took this picture with that old-fashioned camera. In the picture, we were both grinning like idiots."
"I was completely stunned. My mind was in a mess. All the malice directed at you seemed so absurd and ridiculous at that moment. I rushed to get the photo back, and I was uneasy all day. From that day on, I couldn't help but stalk you, paying attention to everything about you. The strong urge didn't disappear, it just changed from 'wanting to destroy you' to... the anxiety of 'wanting to possess you, but not knowing how to get close to you.'"
Xu Yan listened to every word, his heart beating wildly. He had never imagined that an old photo would be the starting point of his change.
"Later," Lu Ziyi's voice lowered, carrying the heaviness of facing the past, "I realized that this 'lack of control' state was too abnormal. It wasn't just you. In certain times of extreme pressure, I would also experience similar emotional outbursts. So... I went to see a doctor myself."
He paused for a long time, so long that Xu Yan thought he had finished, before finally spewing out the diagnosis: "The doctor said I suffer from intermittent rage disorder, accompanied by obvious obsessive tendencies. The intense desire for control and destruction directed at you is a pathological manifestation of this mental illness under specific triggering factors. And you, at that time, were the most special 'trigger point'."
He finally finished, and the room fell silent. Lu Ziyi didn't defend himself, but simply rested his forehead lightly against Xu Yan's, as if awaiting a trial.
Xu Yan remained silent, but a huge wave of emotion surged within him. He had hated and resented for so long, and it turned out there was such a complex web of causes and effects behind it: the tricks of fate—unknown identity, the driving force of illness, and the shock and awakening brought on by that belated photo.
He suddenly reached out, held Lu Ziyi's face, and forced him to look at him.
"Lu Ziyi," his voice was soft but remarkably clear, "Illness is the cause, but it's not an excuse to hurt me."
Lu Ziyi's eyes darkened and he felt guilty.
But Xu Yan's next words stunned him.
"But," Xu Yan looked at him with a complex emotion in his eyes, a mixture of relief and heartache, "thank you for...going to see a doctor later. And thank you for telling me this."
He didn't say "I forgive you" easily, because the hurt was real. But he understood the source of this pain: it wasn't pure malice, but a tragedy wrought by illness, misunderstanding, and fate. And the person before him ultimately chose to face it, and ultimately, through that quagmire, truly walked towards him.
Xu Yan said nothing more, simply leaning back into his arms and closing his eyes. This silent embrace was more powerful than any words. It meant that the sharp past could finally be gently put aside.
Lu Ziyi hugged him back tightly, as if she was hugging the whole world that had been lost and found again, and also hugging the lonely self who was once trapped by the demons in her heart.
On the way back to Xu Yan's rented apartment in the south, after putting their things away, they went to the supermarket and bought a lot of fresh vegetables. When Xu Yan passed by the condoms, his footsteps paused almost imperceptibly and his eyes quickly scanned the shelves.
Lu Zi, who was following him, also saw his little movements and found him strangely adorable. He leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I bought it."
"..." Xu Yan turned around and glared at him angrily, but his ears turned red uncontrollably.
Inside the apartment, the warm yellow light dispelled the southern humidity. Xu Yan had just taken off his last piece of clothing in the bathroom, and before the steam had completely dissipated, the door was quietly pushed open.
He was so frightened that his body trembled, and he subconsciously hugged himself, looking at Lu Ziyi, who was also naked and walked in, in surprise: "What... are you going to do..."
Lu Zi didn't answer. He walked straight to Xu Yan, holding his hips and legs with both hands. With a little force, he lifted him up steadily. Xu Yan almost instinctively wrapped his legs around his muscular waist for support. This position allowed the two of them to be tightly pressed together without any obstruction.
He was pressed against the slightly cool tile wall by Lu Ziyi, his gaze slightly above his own, forcing him to lower his head slightly. He looked at him, at the undisguised desire and tenderness surging in those deep eyes, and it seemed as if less than two seconds had passed.
Lu Zi also raised her head and captured his lips accurately.
This kiss carried the aroma of everyday life back at the supermarket, a certainty about the future, and a pure desire to wash away all the dust and the past. Xu Yan's grip around his neck tightened slightly, and he closed his eyes, completely lost in this kiss and the new world this person had created for him.
Back in the bedroom, Xu Yan simply lay down with his face buried in the pillow, letting Lu Ziyi tear open his loose bathrobe. He lowered his head and gently kissed the tip of Xu Yan's slightly red ear, leaving a sentence:
"Baby, let's stay up late tonight."
-------
Xu Yan woke up at noon. Lu Ziyi wasn't around, but there were subtle sounds and the aroma of food coming from the kitchen. Xu Yan struggled to sit up and saw a glass of water on the bedside table. Underneath it was a note with sharp handwriting: "I've heated up breakfast. I'm in the kitchen. Wait for me to come back. - Yi"
The door lock clicked softly, and Lu Ziyi walked in, carrying a small paper bag. He had changed into a clean shirt and looked refreshed, a stark contrast to Xu Yan's dishevel.
"Awake?" He walked to the bedside and naturally reached out to touch Xu Yan's forehead. "Fortunately, no fever." His eyes then fell on the teeth marks on his shoulder, and his fingertips gently stroked them. "Does it hurt?"
Xu Yan turned his head away, his ears slightly red, and said nothing.
Lu Ziyi chuckled and handed him the paper bag. "I stopped by the pharmacy and bought some ointment." He paused and added, "It's for swelling and pain relief. It works very well."
Xu Yan took the paper bag, his fingertips touching the cool tube of ointment. He looked at Lu Ziyi, a man so cold and strong in front of others, who was now carefully considering this unspeakable "injury" for him. A complex emotion welled up in him—shame, annoyance, helplessness, but deeper still, a subtle warmth of being cherished.
He lowered his head and murmured "hmm".
Lu Ziyi looked at his reddened ears and knew the matter was over. He bent down and picked him up, blanket and all. "Eat first. You're too weak. You need to exercise more."
Xu Yan raised his head in his arms, eyes widening: "...What kind of exercise?"
Lu Ziyi placed him on the chair in front of the dining table, leaned over to his ear, and whispered in his voice with a smile and an undisguised hint:
"What do you think?"
Lu Ziyi's question, tinged with laughter, made Xu Yan's ears turn red. He lowered his head, picked up the spoon, and silently drank the still-warm porridge he had bought, trying to use the food to cover up his embarrassment.
Lu Ziyi sat across from him, not touching her own, just watching him. Sunlight streamed through the window, falling on Xu Yan's drooping eyelashes, casting a small shadow. The way he ate quietly, with a gentleness and vulnerability that only came afterward, softened Lu Ziyi's heart.
"What are your plans for today?" Lu Ziyi broke the silence, his tone returning to normal.
Xu Yan raised his head and thought for a moment: "I have to go to 'Safe Haven' this afternoon. Brother Gu Yan said that a new batch of base liquor has arrived and asked me to try it and decide on the new product."
"I'll take you there." Lu Ziyi responded almost immediately.
Xu Yan was stunned for a moment. He didn't refuse, but just nodded slightly: "...Okay."
After finishing breakfast, Xu Yan was about to get up to clean up the dishes, but as soon as he moved, his brows frowned slightly.
Lu Ziyi immediately noticed his slight abnormality. He stood up and pressed Xu Yan's shoulders to make him sit back down.
"Don't move, let me do it." His movements were very natural. He rolled up his shirt sleeves, revealing his strong forearms, and began to clear the table neatly.
Xu Yan watched his busy figure, lost in thought. The man who had aggressively, even somewhat viciously, invaded him last night, and the man before him, who had thoughtfully taken charge of the cleaning work, formed a strange overlap. This contrast deepened his understanding of Lu Ziyi.
Lu Ziyi finished washing the dishes, dried his hands, and walked out. He saw Xu Yan still sitting there, looking at him with a somewhat vacant look in his eyes. He walked over, bent down, and placed his hands on the back of the chair beside Xu Yan, enclosing him in a small space.
"What are you looking at?"
His breath was close, carrying a fresh scent.
Xu Yan came to his senses and met his close, inquiring, and smiling eyes. His heart skipped a beat. He subconsciously tried to dodge, but Lu Ziyi reached out and gently stroked the tooth mark on his shoulder, which had turned dark red, with his fingertips.
"Does it still hurt?" he asked, his voice lowering.
Xu Yan shook his head, then nodded. Finally, he felt confused and could only whisper, "...a little sour."
The smile in Lu Ziyi's eyes deepened, revealing a hint of contentment and pity. He lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss on the tooth marks, a kiss completely different from last night.
"I'll be gentler next time."
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