End of the runway
Room 612, a hotel in Taipei.
Xiangyang sat alone on the sofa, a few books and Blu-ray discs he had just bought from Eslite spread out on the low table in front of him. The titles of the books, such as "An Actor's Self-Cultivation," "Unbalanced Film Texts: An Analysis of Wong Kar-wai's Films," and "The Godfather's Script Structure," lay quietly there.
Next to them were DVDs of "In the Mood for Love", "Brokeback Mountain", "The Grandmaster", and "Lust, Caution", which were prepared as homework for Jin Cang.
The ringing of a cell phone shattered the silence in the room. The words "Ni Chaofan" flashed on the screen. Xiangyang picked up the phone.
"Xiangyang, are you having a conflict with A Cang?" Ni Chaofan was actually very anxious.
Xiangyang frowned slightly. "No, Uncle Ni. I just bought him a lot of books and DVDs at Eslite for him to do his homework."
"Oh, something happened."
Let’s go back to about two hours ago, at a film production company in Taipei.
Jin Cang was badly hurt by Mai Dong's words downstairs, and the depression in his chest lingered for a long time.
He took a few deep breaths, walked back into the elevator, and pressed the floor button.
An hour later, in the rehearsal room, the afternoon interviews were nearing their end. Several young male actors had finished their auditions one after another, and were each organizing their belongings and notes.
Jin Cang stood aside, looking at those people, each of whom seemed so confident and at ease. His heart sank bit by bit.
The auditioning actors and staff gradually packed up and left, and the rehearsal room quickly became quiet and empty. Director Jiang sat alone in a corner, his head bent, carefully reading the materials in his hands.
Jin Cang walked slowly towards her with a solemn gait. He lowered his head, his voice hollow and devoid of confidence, a completely different person from earlier. "Director Jiang, I…I want to apologize. I…I may not be able to play this role."
Director Jiang raised her head, her eyes showing surprise behind her glasses: "So sudden? What happened?" Her eyes were gentle and concerned.
"Those people just now...each one of them...is much better than me," Jin Cang lowered his head even lower, his voice full of frustration, "I...am really far behind them." He felt his cheeks getting hot. His skin, which had been chilled by rain and sweat before, now felt like it was being scorched by charcoal fire.
Director Jiang laughed when he heard this: "Don't you believe in yourself? Or do you not believe in me? Or do you not believe in Teacher Ni?"
"It's my problem," Jin Cang lowered his head, not even daring to look at her, "I'm not ready, I... I'd better give the opportunity to others." He felt like a deserter, extremely cowardly.
"Wait, wait," Director Jiang noticed that something was wrong with him and her tone became serious. "Your reaction is not normal." She reached for the phone on the table: "Let me make a call..."
"I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused you." Jin Cang bowed sharply, and without waiting for Director Jiang to say anything else, he turned around and practically ran away. He was afraid that if he stayed for another second, the "courage" he had worked so hard to muster would vanish into thin air.
In the hotel room, Xiangyang hung up the phone with Ni Chaofan, his brows furrowed.
Just now, Ni Chaofan sighed on the other end of the phone: "Sudden setbacks can catch people off guard, and sudden good fortune can also make people breathless."
"I know what to do," Xiangyang's voice calmed down. "Leave it to me, Uncle Ni."
The words Mai Dong whispered in his ear outside the building resurfaced clearly in his mind again. "You're just traveling alone and feeling lonely and bored, so why not find someone to hang out with and pass the time? Why not him and me?"
That frivolous yet malicious tone...did Ah Cang hear something? Did he misunderstand something?
Xiangyang hung up the phone quietly and looked out the window at the Taipei sky after the rain, which was deep and unfathomable.
In the evening, at the campus sports field not far from the old community of Wuxing Street.
This was the track and field track where Jin Yu often trained with his younger brother Jin Cang before he left home.
The afterglow of the setting sun painted the track a warm red, but Jin Cang felt no warmth at all. He ran alone, lap after lap, mechanically, his shirt and trousers soaked with sweat, clinging to his young, hot body.
He didn't know how many laps he had run until his legs felt weak and his lungs felt like they were about to explode.
Ah Cang's mind was blank, yet filled with all kinds of chaotic thoughts.
Mai Dong's voice, Director Jiang's surprised expression, and the confident looks of the other actors all flashed around like a revolving lantern.
Suddenly, he saw a figure standing at the end of the runway, where the familiar green runway extended.
It’s my brother.
Jin Cang's heart skipped a beat. It was the most important brother in his life, Jin Yu, waiting for him at the end of the runway.
His vision blurred and his feet involuntarily quickened his pace, rushing forward with his last bit of strength.
When he reached the finish line, he was gasping for breath, with beads of sweat dripping from his forehead and into his eyes, stinging them a little. He blinked hard and looked carefully. The person standing there waiting for him was not his brother.
It was Xiangyang. It was the Xiangyang he most wanted to escape from at this moment.
Xiangyang just stared at him quietly, his eyes calm, and he didn't say a word. The setting sun cast a shadow against the light behind him, and he waited for him with a calm and steady face like a mountain.
Jin Cang's chest heaved violently. The ecstasy and loss just now intertwined into an indescribable trance.
He turned around silently, walked to the edge of the field, picked up his backpack and threw it over his shoulder, then walked out of the side door of the stadium and headed towards home without looking back.
Xiangyang didn't call him, but just followed him slowly a few meters behind him.
Jin Cang walked up the slope leading to his residential complex, his steps somewhat unsteady. He turned into the small park near his home and paused beneath a massive old banyan tree. Its aerial roots drooped, swaying gently in the evening breeze.
"I'll bring you an umbrella downstairs this afternoon," Jin Cang said in a low voice, still without turning around, with his back to the people behind him, "I heard Mai Dong's conversation with you."
Xiangyang stopped not far behind him and said calmly, "My guess was right. You heard it. What did he say? You're just traveling alone and feeling lonely and bored, so you're looking for someone to hang out with... So, what do you think? With so many things happening one after another lately, do you think I have the leisure to find someone to 'hang out' with?"
Jin Cang slowly turned around and finally faced the sun.
His eyes were extremely serious and inquiring. He looked at Xiangyang's handsome features and saw that he was obviously tired from running around for days. He felt mixed emotions.
"Why are you so nice to me?" Jin Cang asked, his voice trembling slightly. He had been holding this question in his heart for a long time.
Xiangyang met his gaze and took a step closer to him. The distance between them was shortened so much that they could almost feel each other's breath.
"Don't you deserve my kindness?" he asked, his tone gentle but powerful. "Besides, think about it, Uncle Ni is an elder with a very close relationship with my family. Would I really 'play' with you in front of him?"
Jin Cang was choked by his question and stammered, "I, I... didn't doubt you about that."
He really didn't doubt Xiangyang's character, but Maidong's words entangled him like poison ivy, making him waver in his own self-worth.
"Then why are you hiding from me?" Xiangyang's eyes were fixed on him.
"I'm hiding from myself." Jin Cang lowered his head, his voice muffled, "It happened too... too fast, and there are many things... I haven't actually thought through them yet." He felt like a tangled mess, unable to make sense of it.
Xiangyang's voice became softer and gentler: "What are they? Do you mind if I think about them with you?"
At this time, the two of them unknowingly walked into the small pavilion next to the banyan tree.
When Jin Cang heard Xiang Yang say that, the corners of his mouth, which had been tense, unconsciously lifted up slightly. Although the arc was small, it eased the heavy atmosphere around him a little.
They sat down on the stone bench in the pavilion.
The evening breeze blows gently, carrying with it the fragrance of grass and trees washed by rain.
Jin Cang was silent for a long moment, as if he had made a great decision before speaking again: "My brain isn't very good. I have to read books and scripts many times. I just thought of something while I was running." He looked up at Xiang Yang, his eyes clear but confused. "If I'm with you, am I... am I betraying my brother? Between you two... are you really not my boyfriend?"
Xiang Yang's heart trembled slightly when he heard this. He reached out and gently held Jin Cang's hand, which was placed on the stone table. Jin Cang's hand was a little cold, but his palm was sweating.
Xiangyang's thumb gently stroked the back of his hand. He pondered for a long time, as if carefully considering every word, and finally opened his mouth slowly, ready to tell the story of him and Jin Yu's past that was buried in Beijing.
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