hourglass
Two months have passed in the blink of an eye. It is already February with snow falling, and Beijing is about to usher in the Lunar New Year.
New Year’s Eve, late at night.
The north wind was blowing, and a layer of snow had accumulated outside the window. In the distance, the customary sound of firecrackers began to be heard. It was New Year's Day.
Xiangyang and "Jin Cang" were each hunched over in their bedrooms, the dim light from the screen illuminating their focused faces, and the tapping sounds of the keyboards intertwined to create another kind of harmony that contrasted with the scenery outside.
"Happy New Year!" Xiangyang's message popped up first.
"Congratulations, congratulations," Jin Cang's words were full of joking. "Why are you imitating me? Celebrating the New Year alone is so pretentious. We call it 'fake breakup' over there."
Xiangyang raised the corners of his lips slightly and concentrated on typing: "I'm living with my brother."
Immediately, he sent a photo.
In the photo, the two sixteen-year-old boys are smiling brightly, hugging each other's shoulders intimately, and their eyes and eyebrows are surprisingly similar.
A surprised expression popped up in Jin Cang's dialog box: "Twins? You have a twin brother? I've never heard you say that." His fuss was genuine.
"Born eleven minutes before me," Xiangyang's fingertips paused on the keyboard, "He... passed away many years ago, the year we were taking the college entrance examination."
For some reason, Xiangyang felt that these sad past events that were buried deep in his heart and had never been fully revealed even to his closest people, could now be told to "Jin Cang" on the other side of the screen.
Perhaps it was due to the special atmosphere of New Year's Eve, or perhaps it was the subtle, indescribable spiritual connection between the two during this period of time.
The events of fifteen years ago came alive again in his deliberately forgotten memory.
At that time, he and Xiang Hai were both sixteen-year-old middle school students, and their lives were full of unknowns and hopes.
In the Xiang Mansion, in the living room that was so large that even Hui Yin could get lost, the light reflected from the crystal chandelier was like ice crystals in December, without a trace of warmth.
The air was as taut as a string about to break.
“Bang!”
Crisp, loud, with a cruel echo.
Xiang Yaozu slapped Xiang Hai hard on the left cheek.
The force was so great that Xiang Hai's already thin body suddenly bent to one side like a reed swept by a strong wind. He staggered a few steps and finally fell powerlessly onto the Persian carpet which was said to be very valuable.
His fair cheeks turned red and swelled rapidly at a speed visible to the naked eye.
Xiangyang, who was standing a few steps away, felt as if his heart was being gripped by an invisible hand and then squeezed hard.
His eyes widened, and almost instinctively, he rushed forward with his arms open to protect Xiang Hai who was staggering and trying to get up.
"Dad! What are you doing?" Xiangyang's voice was hoarse due to the suppressed anger, and his eyes turned red in an instant.
Xiang Hai gently pushed Xiang Yang's arm away, and casually wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, wiping away a streak of bright red blood.
He shook, but still stubbornly, little by little, straightened his back.
Although his cheeks were burning and the corners of his mouth were broken, his eyes were calm instead.
He spoke, his voice much lower than usual, carrying a hoarseness and sadness that didn't belong to a sixteen-year-old. "Dad... no, Mr. Xiang. This is probably the last time I'll address you as such. If I'm merely here to make up for the dreams you couldn't realize as a child, then what have I been for these sixteen years? A carefully crafted replacement?"
Xiang Yaozu's eyes twitched at the mention of "Mr. Xiang," and his rage intensified. He pointed at Xiang Hai, his fingers trembling slightly with anger. "You...what's with that attitude! I let you study medicine for your own good! With your unrealistic, unrealistic fantasies, you're doomed to achieve nothing in the future. You'll be nothing but a waste!"
"Waste?" Xiangyang couldn't contain himself any longer and suddenly raised his voice like an enraged lion cub. "Dad, you're going too far! Have you ever been to my brother's room? Even once? Do you know what book he holds every night? A Brief History of Time! There's a galaxy map on the headboard of his bed. Did you discuss it with him before you asked him to study medicine? He secretly filled the title page of the Hippocratic Oath with sketches of various aircraft designs. Did you know that? That's his dream, that's the life he wants to pursue!"
Xiang Hai's mouth twitched, a tone that was seven parts sorrowful and three parts self-deprecating. His voice was so soft it seemed like it could be blown away by a gust of wind. "After Mom passed away, did he ever even look at us? You, who never appeared in our lives, suddenly appear and try to dominate my life? Isn't this ridiculous?"
"Why do I want you to study medicine? It's because of your mother..."
Xiang Yaozu seemed to have aged decades in an instant. He said helplessly, "Your mother's illness...it's in her genes. Maybe...it's hereditary..."
"Don't mention my mom!" Xiang Hai suddenly yelled out uncontrollably, "What qualifications do you have to mention my mom?"
Xiang Yaozu was speechless for a moment, his face turning from red to blue. He suddenly shook his hand and turned around silently. The soles of his leather shoes rubbed against the smooth marble floor, making a harsh sound, and he walked to the door.
"No matter what you think, no matter how you don't forgive me, it's too late for me to prevent one tragedy. I will do my best to prevent another..."
After saying this, Xiang Yaozu slammed the door and walked out without looking back.
My thoughts snapped back to the present moment. The light on the screen suddenly flickered slightly. The person on the other end, also "spending New Year alone," sent him a video file. It showed a stray cat and a stray dog, grinning together in a waste cardboard box, looking up at the dazzling fireworks exploding in the sky...
Jin Cang's message appeared at the right moment: "Xiangyang, thank you for telling me this. I also want to tell you seriously, child, that all that is in the past."
Xiang Yang took a deep breath and tried to lighten his tone. "Ha, you've made me foam at the mouth because of your pretentiousness. What do you guys say? Fake breakup?"
"Xiangyang, don't be sad, don't be afraid, you are not alone." The words on the screen carried a warm power.
"Happy New Year to you too."
"Happy New Year."
"Jin Cang" seemed to be preparing to go offline, and the dialog box dimmed for a moment.
"Wait, A Cang." Xiang Yang hurriedly called him.
"Mother-in-law, do you have anything else to say?"
"What I want to say," Xiangyang typed each word carefully, "from now on, if you feel happy or unhappy, or if you suddenly want to complain or curse, you can come to me. You are in Beijing...you are not alone."
"I know, you're just being pretentious."
"It's just a fake, ha..." Xiangyang laughed out loud.
This invisible network line connects the hearts of Xiang Yang and Jin Cang, and with a subtle and gentle penetration, it brings the two people who have never met closer and closer.
Finally, the fateful night arrived.
It's late at night in Beijing and the lights in thousands of homes are gradually going out.
Xiang Yang and "Jin Cang" were still in their respective bedrooms, chatting on communication software through their laptops.
On the screen, words flow silently.
A message from Jin Cang popped up: "If there really is an afterlife, I'd rather not be so brave, not have to shoulder everything alone, and have someone say to me: thank you for your hard work."
Xiangyang, who was lying on the bed, suddenly sat up straight as if he had been electrocuted. His heart felt like it was pricked by a needle. It was not a severe pain, but a dense feeling of pity.
He could almost see how "Jin Cang" on the other side typed these words, and how he hid the unknown fatigue and loneliness in them with a pretense of strength.
Next life? Too far away.
Xiangyang's fingers hovered over the keyboard for a few seconds before finally dropping: "Why wait until next life? I can do it right now..."
He stopped halfway through typing, as if realizing something.
The cursor on the screen flickered lonely, just like his hesitant heartbeat at the moment.
These words seemed unable to contain his surging emotions.
He took a deep breath and slowly shifted his gaze to the icon he had never clicked before: "Voice Call." Just looking at it made his fingertips feel hot.
Xiangyang reached out for the phone placed aside, unlocked the screen, and skillfully clicked on the familiar dialog box. The nickname at the top was simply "A Cang".
On weekdays, they are used to communicating through computer communication software, and the conversation records on their mobile phones are still a few days ago.
At this moment, he felt that some words could never be expressed clearly through the cold keyboard.
He cleared his throat and said, "A Cang, I've been hearing people urging me lately... that it's time for you two to meet."
After saying this, Xiangyang held his breath and pressed his ear tightly against the receiver of the mobile phone. The ticking sound of the old-fashioned wall clock in the living room sounded frighteningly loud at this moment.
There was a barely perceptible silence on the other side of the screen, or rather, on the other end of the phone.
Those few seconds seemed as long as a century to Xiangyang, and he almost thought the signal was cut off.
Just when he couldn't help but want to say something to break the awkwardness, a very light but very familiar keyboard tapping sound came from the receiver again.
That was the input method sound that "Jin Cang" usually used, short and rhythmic.
However, this time, the knocking sound only lasted two or three times before stopping.
A particularly energetic male voice, with a subtle noise of electric current running through it, was like a scene from an old movie. It came clearly into Xiangyang's ears through the mobile phone receiver.
"Hahahaha..." Jin Yu couldn't stop laughing for a moment, without any concealment or embellishment. It was a kind of relief. "That 'someone' you mentioned, I... seemed to have heard it too."
In the night sky, it seemed as if a shooting star streaked across, and the hourglass of fate poured silently, flowing, falling, flowing, falling... but, it finally came to an end.
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