Chapter 52 It Will Eventually Feel
The heaviness in Chi Li's heart lingered like a dark cloud.
She watched as Tang Lu wiped away the unconscious graffiti, then acted as if nothing had happened, her attention drawn to a fluttering butterfly outside the window. She skipped and hopped after it, as if the sadness she had just felt had nothing to do with her.
This made Chi Li even more irritable.
She would rather Tang Lu cry and make a scene than have this ignorant sympathy.
The latter is like an invisible thread, wrapped around Tang Lu's pure consciousness, while the other end is connected to the past that she has severed with her own hands.
She couldn't sever this thread, because it was inherent in Tang Lu's life.
This feeling of being out of control was unfamiliar and unpleasant to the Demon King, who was used to sweeping everything away with absolute power.
In the following days, Chi Li was somewhat absent-minded when handling government affairs.
The border trade and tribal disputes reported by her ministers sounded vague and distant to her. Her consciousness would always involuntarily detach a strand and fix it firmly on the golden figure outside the palace.
Tang Lu seemed to have gradually recovered from that inexplicable low mood and started to busy herself in her little garden again. However, she was not as frantic as before. Instead, she quietly squatted among the flowers and plants, her fingertips flowing with soft green light, carefully nourishing each leaf.
Sometimes, Chi Li would see her staring blankly at a plant, her amber eyes still clear, yet seemingly reflecting something deeper.
"Lili," Tang Lu said suddenly, looking up while biting her chopsticks during dinner, "will all the leaves eventually fall and turn into soil?"
Chi Li paused in her hand holding the spoon, then looked up at her: "The withering and flourishing of plants is the law of nature."
"Oh..." Tang Lu lowered her head, poking at the glistening grains of rice in the bowl with her chopsticks, and whispered, "Will they be sad? Don't they want to fall down..."
Chi Li stared at the few tender leaves on the top of her head that curled slightly with her emotions, and felt a gentle pang in her heart.
She put down her spoon, her tone calm and even: "Go with the flow, what's there to be sad about? Focus on the present, don't think about pointless things."
She tried to steer the conversation away, using her usual imperative manner.
Tang Lu nodded as if she understood, but her attention was indeed drawn to the honey-glazed fire spirit dates that Chi Li had placed in her bowl, as they emitted an enticing sweet fragrance.
However, Chi Li knew that the problem was not solved.
That "seed" has already been carefully planted in her sapling.
The seed was not planted intentionally by Qing Linze, but rather it was aroused by destruction itself.
It won't disappear just because of a delicious meal.
At night, Chi Li did not immediately embrace Tang Lu and fall asleep as usual.
She leaned against the headboard, watching the little tree spirit beside her whose breathing was gradually becoming even, a wisp of extremely subtle crimson-gold divine power swirling around her fingertips.
She hesitated.
There is a way that might... cover up those unpleasant lingering marks.
With her powerful and warm divine power, she enveloped Tang Lu's consciousness more tightly, filtering out those discordant "noises" from the outside world.
...including those shared sorrows.
This is not difficult to do.
With her cultivation level, she could have accomplished it subtly and imperceptibly, without Tang Lu even noticing.
She raised her hand, and the wisp of divine power slowly reached towards Tang Lu's brow.
Just as the divine power was about to touch that smooth forehead, Chi Li's movements froze.
She saw Tang Lu unconsciously reach out her small hand in her sleep, grab a strand of her hair, and her lips curved slightly.
This completely unguarded posture was like a bucket of ice water, extinguishing the thoughts that had arisen in Chi Li's mind.
What is she doing?
Use power to cover, shield, and "correct" her tree spirit's truest feelings?
Even if that feeling stemmed from sadness, it was still a part of her life, a way for her to connect with the world.
She loathed Qing Linze's methods, yet now she found herself wanting to use similar approaches.
Even if it's out of a desire to protect, what's the essential difference between this and the behaviors she despises?
Chi Li withdrew her hand, and the wisp of divine power quietly dissipated.
She can't do that.
It's one thing to forcefully sever the intruders, but it's quite another to interfere with Tang Lu's natural growth of perception.
What she wanted was a complete and happy Tanglu, not an exquisite bonsai that had been carefully pruned by her power and isolated from all "bad" influences.
She gently lay down and pulled the little creature that was clutching its hair back into her arms.
Perhaps she needs to change her approach, instead of simply building barriers to completely shut out the wind and rain.
Try to become a safe harbor where she can find peace and tranquility, whether she experiences sunshine or storms.
But how should we do it?
For the demon king, who was used to conquest and destruction, this was a more difficult task than facing a massive army.
She looked down at Tang Lu's peaceful sleeping face, and the coldness in her crimson-gold eyes faded.
Outside the window, moonlight streamed in, and the night breeze brought out the blurred outlines of distant mountains.
The demon realm is vast, teeming with countless life forms, where joys and sorrows, prosperity and decay, life and death unfold every moment.
Her tree spirit will eventually perceive all of this more deeply.
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