Chapter 56 I Heard It Again
Tang Lu stayed alone in the small forest garden.
This place was once her happiest "secret base," and every leaf and every ray of sunlight was a testament to the joy she shared with Chi Li.
But today, the familiar scenery is shrouded in gloom.
Instead of tending to the plants as usual, she sat with her knees drawn up to her chest next to her most treasured, color-changing rainbow grass, resting her chin on her knees, her eyes vacant.
The rainbow grass seemed to sense her low spirits; the luster on its leaves dimmed slightly, and it tilted gently towards her, as if offering silent comfort.
"Little grass," Tang Lu stretched out her fingertip and gently touched the leaves of the rainbow grass, her voice still nasal, "You said... isn't Lili very bad?"
Rainbow Grass naturally couldn't answer; its leaves simply trembled gently under her fingertips.
“She made so many ‘green’ things disappear… They must be in pain too…” Tang Lu’s voice was choked with sobs, but it seemed that she had already cried all her tears last night, leaving only a dry, sour feeling.
"But...but Lili is so good to Tanglu...she warms Tanglu's bed, cooks delicious food, and plays with Tanglu..."
It felt like two voices were arguing inside her little head.
One voice says that Lili is a terrifying being that destroys its own kind; another voice, however, is desperately recalling those warm, carefully cherished moments.
These two diametrically opposed perceptions clashed fiercely in her mind, leaving her feeling lost and confused.
"Tang Lu...I'm a little scared..." She buried her face in her arms and muttered to herself, "And...I miss Li Li a little..."
This contradiction tore at her innocent heart, causing her more pain than simple sadness.
She stayed in Xiaolin Garden for a whole day, until the sun set and cast a long shadow over her.
Chi Li didn't disturb her, but Tang Lu could sense that a powerful and familiar divine sense was always subtly enveloping this area, silently guarding it, and silently... waiting.
At dinner time, Tang Lu slowly walked back to her bedchamber.
She stood outside the magnificent palace gates and hesitated for a moment.
Instead of running straight in as usual, she gently pushed open the door and peeked her little head in.
Inside the hall, Chi Li was sitting at the table, which was laden with exquisite dishes, much more lavish than usual, mostly Tang Lu's favorites.
She didn't seem to touch her chopsticks; she just sat there, her gaze fixed on the void, lost in thought.
Hearing the door open, she immediately looked over.
Their eyes met.
Tang Lu instinctively tried to pull her head back, but Chi Li had already stood up.
"You're back." Chi Li's voice sounded calm, even gentler than usual, but beneath that calmness, there seemed to be a suppressed tension.
"Let's have a meal."
Tang Lu walked in slowly, not rushing to the seat next to Chi Li as she used to, but choosing a seat a little further away, looking down at the empty bowls and plates in front of her.
Chi Li looked at the distance she had deliberately created, her eyes darkened, but she said nothing.
She picked up the jade chopsticks and silently began to serve the dishes, placing each of Tang Lu's favorite dishes onto the plate in front of her, piling them into a small hill.
"Eat more," she said, only one sentence.
Tang Lu looked at the overflowing food on the plate, then secretly glanced at Chi Li.
In the candlelight, Chi Li's profile was still perfect and dignified, but there seemed to be a faint weariness between his brows, and even his crimson-gold eyes did not seem as bright as before.
She picked up her little spoon and silently began to eat.
It still tastes as good as ever, it's a familiar taste, but when I eat it, it feels like something is missing, and I can't quite swallow it.
The room was completely silent, save for the faint sounds of chewing and the clinking of bowls and chopsticks.
The dining hall, which was usually filled with the chattering of Tang Lu, was now eerily quiet.
Chi Li ate very little. Most of the time, she just watched Tang Lu eat, watching her swallow small bites without tasting the food, and watching her eyes always lowered, refusing to meet her gaze.
This silent resistance made Chi Li feel more powerless than any crying or fussing.
She could destroy anything tangible with her power, but she couldn't break down the invisible wall of sorrow and estrangement that stood between them.
After the meal, the maid removed the remaining seats.
Tang Lu stood up and bowed to Chi Li again: "Li Li, Tang Lu... is going back to the side hall."
As Chi Li watched her retreating figure, she almost blurted out, "Stay."
Tang Lu stopped in her tracks, her small body stiffening for a moment, but she didn't turn around.
Chi Li walked up behind her, very close, and could smell the faint scent of grass and trees in her hair, as well as feel the subconscious tension in her body.
"Stay in the main hall," Chi Li repeated, her voice low.
She could no longer bear lying alone on the cold royal bed, no longer bear the torment of feeling her so close yet unable to reach her.
Tang Lu remained silent, clutching the hem of her clothes with her small hands, seemingly struggling intensely inside.
Chi Li didn't urge her; she just stood there, waiting.
Every breath felt exceptionally long.
Finally, Tang Lu nodded almost imperceptibly.
She didn't say anything, but this small gesture made Chi Li's tense nerves relax a little.
That night, Tang Lu slept in the main hall.
But instead of curling up in Chi Li's arms as usual, she wrapped herself tightly in the blanket and slept on the innermost side of the big bed, with her back to Chi Li, curling herself into a small ball, trying to stay as far away as possible from that source of warmth that she had once so longed for.
Chi Li lay on her side, looking at the small figure that deliberately kept her distance from her. She reached out, wanting to pull her closer, but in the end, her hand remained suspended in mid-air before slowly falling and gently resting on the blanket.
Through the thick brocade quilt, I could feel the faint warmth and stiffness emanating from beneath.
Her little tree spirit remained here, but erected a transparent barrier in her heart.
Chi Li closed her eyes, the old wound on her shoulder throbbing faintly, but what hurt even more was the emptiness in her heart that she could not find any support.
She knew that some cracks, once formed, require more time and patience to mend.
And all she seems to be able to do now is wait.
**
A few more days passed, and Tang Lu remained quiet, still keeping her distance from Chi Li.
Until one afternoon.
Tang Lu was sitting by the window, watching the spiritual rain falling softly outside.
Raindrops, carrying a pure and ethereal quality, tapped against the glass window, making a soft, pattering sound.
She was somewhat lost in thought, her mind blank, neither thinking about the "disappearance of green" that made her sad, nor deliberately avoiding anything about Chi Li.
It's just a state of emptiness.
Suddenly, an unusually familiar flutter of emotion spread through her heart without warning.
That feeling... was very strange.
It wasn't her own emotion, but something external, carrying a heavy, oppressive feeling of...anxiety and powerlessness.
Tang Lu blinked in confusion, then instinctively clutched her chest.
This feeling... seems like something I've had a long, long time ago?
Almost simultaneously, she seemed to hear a very faint sigh, not through her ears, but directly in her mind.
That voice... it's Lili's!
Ke Lili was clearly reviewing memorials behind her desk in the distance, without making a sound.
"...How much longer do we have to wait..."
A vague thought silently surfaced in her perception.
Tang Lu suddenly raised her head and looked at Chi Li in the distance.
Chi Li remained seated, her profile hard and cold, her posture holding the pen as steady as a rock, showing no sign of anything amiss.
But the heavy emotions that lingered in Chi Li's heart, and that silent sigh, were so real!
It's...it's that one!
That's something she occasionally senses after Lili gave her a drop of golden, warm blood a long time ago.
She could tell where Lili was feeling unwell, and she could vaguely sense whether Lili was in a good or bad mood...
Later, it seems that after a very tiring and deep sleep, she forgot about that feeling.
Now...it's back?
Just as Tang Lu was filled with doubt and uncertainty, more "voices" and sensations began to flow into her senses intermittently, like a broken tide.
"...The little one didn't eat much again today...Is it because the snacks aren't to his liking?"
(Accompanied by concerns)
"...She didn't play on the swing today..."
(A hint of loneliness)
"...My approach still makes her stiffen..."
(A strong sense of self-control and a...almost frustrated frustration)
"...Qing Linze...if he had known what would happen today..."
(A deep, bone-deep regret and resentment flashed by, only to be forcibly suppressed.)
"...It's alright...I can wait for her...no matter how long it takes..."
(In the end, all the emotions turned into a heavy, determined decision.)
These thoughts were chaotic and turbulent, filled with Chi Li's anxiety, patience, self-blame, and violence, which she would never show to others, as well as the intense care and protectiveness hidden deep beneath all her emotions, almost overwhelming Tang Lu...
Tang Lu was stunned.
She clutched her chest, her small body trembling slightly.
His amber eyes were filled with immense shock and bewilderment.
So... so this is what Lili thinks?
She always thought that Lili was powerful, omnipotent, and... indifferent to the disappearance of those "green" things.
She only saw Lili's outward calm and the occasional coldness that lingered within her.
But it turns out that beneath that calm exterior, Lili was anxious because of her estrangement, worried because of her loss of appetite, restrained her desire to get closer because of her fear, and even... even felt such heavy regret for what she had done.
The phrase "It can take as long as you want" struck Tang Lu deeply.
She was so immersed in her sadness and fear that she never imagined that the always strong and domineering Lili would also have moments of helplessness, and that she would become so cautious and so sad because of her.
The heavy sense of oppression emanating from Chi Li's heart almost made her breathless.
This was even more painful for her than her previous sadness.
Looking at the figure in the distance, still standing tall and seemingly unaffected, she saw for the first time clearly the cracks that had quietly appeared beneath that strong exterior because of her aloofness.
A mixture of heartache and confusion slowly began to grow in her heart.
She seems...not so scared anymore.
Because the Lili who frightened her now appeared in her "eyes" to be...not so indestructible, but rather possessed a clumsy vulnerability that made her nose tingle.
The rain was still falling, tapping against the windowpane.
Tang Lu remained seated by the window, but her gaze lingered on the crimson figure.
She began to "hear" the deafening clamor beneath the silence.
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