The Emperor's Baby Diary
The midday sun had not yet risen into the sky.
I soared above the clouds, feeling the mysterious power of the eastern sunlight behind me.
The warmth on my back became my defense, resisting the lingering, penetrating gazes of my fellow immortals.
This light also melted the ice-cold feeling within me, caused by the matchmaker fairy's unwavering answers to all my questions about Emperor Zangli's descent to the mortal realm to have a child.
The clouds beneath my feet sway and tremble because I'm constantly weighing things in my mind:
The Emperor Zangli is truly a pioneer in his art.
When the matchmaker was recounting the Emperor's tribulations, he was clearly uninhibited, as if he had been instructed to reveal the whole story to the public.
Seeing that I was robbing him, the matchmaker was not afraid at all, but instead called over a group of fellow immortals to listen to the gossip.
My scissors and the everlasting candle suddenly seemed superfluous and awkward.
It is true that Emperor Zangli experienced the tribulations of love, but his son was not born to a human woman.
In a sense, he could even be described as having never been close to a woman.
When he descended to the mortal realm, he split his primordial spirit in two, one half becoming male and the other half female.
He also separated the two halves of his primordial spirit and placed them in two extremely distant locations.
These two beings, one male and one female, who are half-spirits, have had a great longing for distant places since birth. They are always persistently trekking on the road of searching and yearning.
Finally, after traveling thousands of miles, they met each other.
And so, in a single glance that felt like an eternity, the two, with devout hearts and unparalleled satisfaction, were happily united.
They made a vow of life and death, unaware that it was actually a marriage agreement to "grow old together" for all eternity, never to be separated.
In any case, the Emperor loved himself passionately, and that's why the child came so quickly.
Just as the baby was about to have his full-month celebration, the Eight Directions Bell rang.
Zangli had descended to the mortal realm without permission. Upon hearing the bell, both halves of his primordial spirit immediately responded and quickly merged into one.
Then, the Emperor, holding the child, returned to the Immortal Realm as summoned.
...
The story contains neither women nor romantic relationships.
Aside from praising the Emperor for his boldness and decisiveness, the immortals all felt that they lacked some inspiration for their own ideas.
So they still focused their attention on me, this stone that blossomed, took deep root in love, and was the source of all sorts of fantasies.
When my fellow immortals see me, I want to thank them profusely.
If he could copy the Emperor's self-divination technique to be self-sufficient, I would thank him forever.
But I wondered to myself: Who was that woman I couldn't see clearly in front of the Ziji Hall?
Am I seeing things, or have my mind and judgment gone astray?
Back at Gunsan Garden, as I was about to change into my formal attire, I noticed that both Mu Zhu and Chen Yi were avoiding me.
I've figured out why the rumors about me are so true that I can't even question them anymore.
It turns out that they also provided "reliable inside" information about the cause of the disease.
I think the series of consequences brought about by turning into a grasshopper, the state of Xie Jinhui and me, the details they could see, and the conclusions they could draw from them are indeed reasonable.
If it were me, I'd also easily have inappropriate thoughts.
As I walked toward the "demon's lair," I suddenly heard someone on the clouds behind me calling out to the goddess Yuan'e, "Please wait."
I glanced back and saw a little fairy boy with red lips, white teeth, and purple robes, twirling clouds and waves.
The little fairy was cautious and polite, and handed me a small box of trinkets, no bigger than the palm of my hand.
This thing looks like a small box, with an antique sandalwood color and eight sharp corners. When it lands in your palm, it spins like a top.
When the little fairy boy Fang Yi said that this was a gift specially given to me by Emperor Zangli, my mind immediately went back to the memories of his tribulation.
Thinking of the Emperor's proud figure back then, I almost jumped for joy, but thankfully I immediately remembered that the Emperor had already become a father.
Hey, becoming a dad really changes things, huh? Now he's even giving toys as gifts.
Seeing that I was only focused on playing, the little fairy boy laughed and helped me unlock the hidden lock of the small box.
The box lid was lifted up, and inside lay several dried plums that smelled exceptionally sweet.
"Goddess Yuan'e, this is a palm-sized plum blossom that Emperor Zhuangli instructed me to give to you. Please accept it with a smile."
While the little fairy was still introducing it, I picked up one and tasted it.
Oh my, that tangy and refreshing taste! It felt like all the lingering green fear in my stomach was instantly subdued by it.
There were only four plums in the box. Just as I was about to tease the Emperor for being a bit stingy, I discovered that every time I took a bite of the plum flesh, a new plum in the empty space in the box would start to grow bigger.
It turns out to be a renewable, automatically supplied plum tree. Great!
It's portable and can satisfy your cravings while also providing entertainment.
I'll accept it with a bite first, then with a smile. Having received something I like, I sincerely thank you on behalf of all the foodies.
The little fairy ascended to the clouds, her face flushed with shyness.
"If the goddess Yuan'e feels better, then all is well."
I was biting into a plum, turning the box around, and then I paused for a moment, stunned.
Why do I feel that the name "Plum in the Palm" has a deeper meaning?
Plum blossom in the palm of your hand, plum blossom in the palm of your hand.
Have you grown a heart?
without!
Then, I pushed open the door, and the second time, I became a complete idiot.
On the mountain-building table of the Brainwashing Mountain, there is a pool with stones inlaid around its edge.
pond?
I think I've seen this pool design before?
My eyes darted around it: It's you! It's you!
Where have I seen you before?
I remember now: Oh! In my dream.
Oh? Isn't it the same style as the one in Moxu Chenyuan Pool?
However, it contained no water, but rather a set of lustrous, silky, rainbow-colored white fairy robes.
Ha, even without him floating in the air and forcing me to remember his name with a flashing light, I know it's Xie Jinhui's kindness.
I really like the clothes, but as for the pool, I'll just put it on the shelf and let it rest on the mountain.
Sending clothes in a pool, what's so novel about that? I don't know.
I touched my beloved clothes, feeling troubled. I wanted to wear them but dared not, because Xie Jinhui would definitely wear them to the banquet.
But when I recalled leaving the Purple Palace, I remembered the Heavenly Emperor's slightly limping gait.
Thinking to myself: If it can please the Heavenly Emperor "Uncle", then wearing the same clothes as someone else is no big deal.
They say rumors stop with the wise, but the rumors Xie Jinhui and I spread have driven even the celestial realm and the underworld mad...
Trying to cover it up only makes it more obvious; being secretive and evasive is like a pipa half-concealing its face. A straightforward and honest approach is better.
Wear it! (Driven by my own desire to look good.)
...
Like other immortal abodes of emperors, Hunyuan Cloud Gorge was initially hidden anywhere in the void of the immortal realm.
However, Emperor Zangli, as the god of war, took the initiative to move his celestial abode to the next string closest to the war department.
According to rumors in the celestial realm, besides relocating for official business, Emperor Zangli's greater motive was that he intended to guard the Eternal Temple, which was located in the same lower realm.
I think there might be another reason, which is that it's easier to escape to the lower realm.
Thinking of arriving at Hunyuan Cloud Stream as soon as possible, then dragging Xie Jinhui along, we'd find a secluded corner of the banquet to hide in and quietly get through it.
But I don't know if Xie Jinhui will arrive early, so I plan to transform into a floating cloud and wait for him.
As I was floating in the sky above Hunyuan Cloud Valley, another cloud rushed over and bumped into me.
When I saw this cloud, I chuckled.
Xie Jinhui didn't copy me this time, but since we ended up wearing the same clothes, we also shared the same ideas and even the same cloud, so neither of us got angry.
However, upon colliding, we noticed that our fairy robes had turned into an extremely light pink.
This is strangely awkward.
A profound silence.
I looked down and saw the festive atmosphere in Hunyuan Cloud Stream.
Before we could break the silence and speak, a celestial attendant, whose job was to watch over the visitors, swiftly flew to our side.
He cupped his hands and said, "Two esteemed deities, Emperor Zangli invites you to continue the banquet in the inner courtyard before we begin."
I was wary when they told me to go with Xie Jinhui.
Another one forcibly forcing someone to put their head down?
Could it be that the entire Immortal Realm dug a hole and planted us, forcibly creating our "deeply rooted love"?
My stomach hurts.
Following the direction indicated by the fairy attendant, I summoned the Palm Plum as soon as I landed, wanting to have one.
As a result, I saw the same eight-pointed spinning top also appear on Xie Jinhui's left hand.
I looked at him, dumbfounded. I really didn't know what the purpose of the Xuanli Emperor giving him a box was.
Xie Jinhui made a gesture inviting him to eat together, then casually picked up a piece and swallowed it.
"Yuan'e, these plums can help cut through the richness and stop nausea."
I rubbed my forehead, rolled my eyes at him, and said helplessly, "Xie Jinhui, why don't you go down to the mortal realm and bring back a child?"
My words were ambiguous, and Xie Jinhui seized the opportunity to squeeze in.
"Yuan'e, shall we go together?"
Did he truly not know about the Emperor, or was he doing it on purpose?
Ignore him; chewing plums is more enjoyable than arguing with him.
After passing a straight gravel road and turning left into the depths of lush woods, you will see layers of curtains in the inner courtyard, supported by long spears and sharp swords.
Through the curtain, I saw a figure moving busily.
However, the first sound that reached my ears was the clear and loud cry of a baby.
I suddenly became excited.
Son!
He called out in his heart, quickened his pace, and lifted the covering.
Then, Xie Jinhui, who was a step behind me, froze on the spot.
Xie Jinhui said he had never met Emperor Zangli, but he could tell at a glance that the aura and spirit of the immortal in front of him was that of the God of War, whose composure and domineering presence was unmatched.
However, when I saw a diaper suspended by a thread of immortal power, a baby cradle brimming with immortal power, and a woman in black holding a child and rocking a wave drum made of immortal power, coaxing the baby in a sweet voice, I was struck by the sight.
I'm completely confused.
The God of War—no, she—was busy trying to soothe her child.
The teacups were already set out in the pavilion next door, and the kettle was being used to boil water at Xie Jinhui's feet.
We bowed stiffly, while the dashing yet maternal man? woman? seemed as anxious as a tea stall owner, managing to free up a hand amidst her busy schedule.
"Yuan'e, please sit over there."
I said "Oh" and quickly ran into the pavilion. I was afraid of holding the child, and even more afraid of seeing the Empress Zangli holding the child.
"That brat Mo Xuchenyuan, hurry up and bring the pot over, brew some tea."
The tone changed from gentle to domineering.
Xie Jinhui was so quick this time, picking up the pot and pouring water.
My son, after much coaxing and pleading, has already gone to his cradle to chew on his hand.
Emperor Zangli swayed his waist and walked over with unsteady steps.
The visual impact was so strong that my heart pounded with excitement, and I couldn't help but recall the scene of the God of War training his troops.
At that time, banners fluttered, heavenly music resounded, and the Emperor, with his spear shattering the void, issued a powerful command to the generals from all realms amidst the clouds, mist, mountains, and seas.
"kill!"
Now, he/she is there, nursing a baby.
As he/she came over, he/she said, "My son was brought up from the mortal world. He is not yet a month old, so it is not appropriate to use celestial power to feed him. We can only raise him roughly for now."
"Once today is over, he will be able to absorb the immortal power, and then everything will be fine."
She sat down, took a sip of tea, and said, "You don't need to be surprised by my behavior. Parents who love their children will give them what is most suitable for them."
My son is too young. My husband and I have discussed it, and we believe that a woman's body is easier to care for.
Xie Jinhui and I neither understand parenting advice nor can we comprehend how we address ourselves as husband and wife, but we just keep saying "oh oh oh".
The Emperor (please allow me to call him that) glanced at the spinning tops we were holding and said with a smile, "When I was pregnant, my morning sickness was quite severe. I only managed to get through it thanks to these plums."
She is so gentle and graceful, I like her very much, but, Meizi, is pregnant?
Ah, thank you for your concern, Your Majesty.
Xie Jinhui, being a studious man, grasped the spinning top and asked with a smile, "May I ask Your Majesty, why did you suddenly want to have a son, and why did you choose such a... unique method?"
Upon hearing this, the Emperor glared fiercely at Xie Jinhui, suddenly becoming resentful.
"It's all because of you."
If your old man dares to fabricate a story out of thin air and raise you, this little grain of sand, into a son, I dare to split my soul to accompany him.
There are many paths to take; you can create your own one.
Something from nothing? A tiny grain of sand? Is Xie Jinhui related to this stone of mine?
I interrupted and asked a question I was even more curious about.
"Your Majesty, the same primordial spirit has been split into two. In the mortal realm, it is a man and a woman, but in the immortal realm, you can only choose one form at a time."
Will you miss yourself?
The Emperor's eyes flickered, and every glance was filled with memories she could see.
She smiled emotionally and said, "It is inherently complete, free and perfect."
I admired him in my heart: The Emperor's realm is indeed unique. Not only is he self-perfected, but he is also so deeply devoted to self-sufficiency.
However, I also suspect that the Emperor's real purpose in having a son is to compete with Xie Jinhui's father for a son.
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