Chapter 32 Exclusive 13 “But I want to kiss her,…
A hint of triumphant smile flashed in his eyes, and he said, "Then kiss me."
Shen Ying's brows suddenly furrowed, and her eyes narrowed coldly.
"That's impossible."
"Then I'll kiss you." He pressed on, his tone stubborn.
She staggered back, thinking that Chen Jinshi, who had been quiet for several days, would not do such a rude thing again.
She almost let her guard down around him.
That’s right, how could someone like Chen Jinshi change?
Chen Jinshi leaned forward, took her wrist, and chuckled, "Chen Ying, are you so afraid of me? Why are you hiding?"
His palms were burning hot and stained with sweat. He didn't hold her tightly, but it made it impossible for her to break free.
She glared at him, the coldness in her eyes almost piercing him: "Chen Jinshi, let go."
He was still laughing, and with a force of his arms, she stumbled forward and fell onto the couch.
The hair brushed against his nose. He squinted his eyes and took a deep sniff, a sigh escaping his throat:
"Amu, you smell so good."
Chen Ying felt embarrassed and irritated all over. She leaned her elbows on his chest and tried to get up, but he held her back with one hand.
Even though she pressed almost all of her weight on his chest through her elbows, he didn't even groan, holding her firmly and completely in his arms.
His face looked particularly relaxed when he smiled, and the tip of his nose almost touched her temples. His voice was low and hot, "Am, just once, please."
Chen Ying struggled in vain and looked up at him. His eyebrows were slightly raised, his eyelashes were long, and his eyes seemed to be quenched with fire. Although he was pleading with his words, in reality, he was determined to get what he wanted.
She suddenly showed pity, and her voice was so soft it sounded like a sigh: "Brother Shi, I really feel ashamed for raising you like this."
Chen Jinshi loosened his grip on her back, and the anger in his eyes flickered as if a bucket of cold water had been poured on him.
He looked at her holy face and she truly felt pity for him.
His heart felt like it was pierced by a needle, and his Adam's apple rolled. Chen Ying took the opportunity to use her elbow to force herself out of his arms while he was distracted.
She almost trotted back to the table, her fingertips still trembling, and poured a large cup of tea into her mouth.
Chen Jinshi was abandoned by her on the couch, half-supported on the soft couch with his elbows, and all the determination he had just shown completely disappeared.
"I……"
Just then, Chen Jinxing knocked on the door. "Mom, is Chen Jinshi here with you? Wang'er said he came to see you. It's time to go to the second room."
Chen Ying straightened her clothes and went to open the door. Chen Jinshi suddenly stood up, grabbed her wrist, and whispered, "Chen Ying!"
Chen Ying stood there, her wrist held by him again. Chen Jinxing was just outside the door. She shook her head slightly at him.
He stubbornly explained in a breathy voice: "No matter what you think of me, Chen Ying, I will not change."
His force was not strong, but with an unbreakable persistence, he stood in front of her. The morning light poured in from behind him, giving his body a golden edge. She could only see the lines of his tightly pursed lips.
"Let go." Her voice was soft, with her usual aloofness.
The heat from him still enveloped her, always there.
There was another knock on the door.
"Mom, are you there? Shi Ge'er, you are in there too." Chen Jinxing coughed lightly twice.
He let her go, his fingertips sliding across her wrist reluctantly, like a silent sigh.
She walked quickly to the door and opened it: "Jinxing, he's here."
Chen Jinshi appeared from behind her, and Chen Jinxing stood in the corridor, looking at them with a very indifferent look.
Then he set his sights on Chen Jinshi.
"Let's go. The old man has urged us several times."
Chen Ying slightly turned sideways, and Chen Jinshi walked past her and gently rubbed the back of her hand.
Chen Ying suddenly pulled her arm behind her back, held the door with her other hand, and said to Chen Jinxing, "Go quickly."
As the two brothers walked side by side and were about to leave the hospital, Chen Jinshi looked back at her.
Chen Ying was stunned. She didn't know how to describe this look.
All his stubbornness and arrogance seemed to have disappeared, leaving only pleading, just pleading.
But he was also certain of something, he was still determined to win.
Chen Ying hurriedly turned her face away, as he had clearly only rubbed the back of her hand.
Until the sound of their footsteps completely disappeared, she raised her hand and pressed her hot eyebrows, and a deep sense of powerlessness surged in her heart.
Chen Jinxing and Chen Jinshi picked up Chen Jinyun and went to the second room together.
Chen Jinyun wore her hair in a double bun with pearl flowers on her temples, and she looked like a pretty girl.
The flower hall of the second house was already noisy, and the second wife was walking around, ordering the maids and waiters to add more wine.
Seeing them coming, he hurriedly said with a smile: "Look, our master, the scholar, is finally here. The old man asked you many times before he invited you here."
Chen Jinshi was pulled inside, while Chen Jinxing stopped where he was, restrained his expression, and entertained the guests in a proper manner.
He glanced at the guests in the courtyard indifferently. Most of them were unfamiliar faces. His grandfather had indeed made a lot of connections through Chen Jinshi. He watched as several gentry raised their wine glasses and went to Chen Jinshi.
He raised his eyes to look at Chen Jinshi, who was standing next to the old man. The second wife was holding a little maid to pour wine for them.
Chen Jinshi slightly turned aside and said calmly, "I don't drink alcohol, so please keep it for yourself, Second Aunt."
The Second Wife's smile froze. "As expected of a Juren, you are so well behaved. I have to trouble the gentlemen to coax you to drink."
Chen Jinxing chuckled upon seeing this. Chen Jinshi had really grown up and was doing things much more decently than before.
Chen Jinshi didn't respond to his second aunt's words. He picked up the teacup beside the old man and said politely, "I am young and only focus on studying. If I have not taken good care of you, I hope you will forgive me."
Several gentry nodded quickly: "Exactly! Now is the time to focus on studying."
Chen Jinshi glanced coldly at his grandfather, and took the opportunity to lower his voice and said, "I can't let my mother feel ashamed again. You should be thankful that my mother taught me well, otherwise I would have destroyed your mess today, and you wouldn't have had any face left."
The old man tilted his head, in disbelief.
Chen Jinshi lowered his eyes and spoke in a flat tone as if he was talking about the weather.
"You..." The old man was so angry that his hands were shaking, but he was afraid that he would really make this kid angry.
He looked like he was really going to kick over the whole table!
The guests were chatting and laughing around, and some of Chen Jichuan's old friends had also come. They all came sincerely to congratulate Chen Jinshi on passing the imperial examination. Although the banquet was held in the second room, they were willing to give him the honor.
But when I came here, I couldn't help but ask one more question: "Where is Dulan? Why isn't Dulan here?"
The old lady's face darkened when she heard this. She became angry when she mentioned Chen Ying. When had the Second House not invited her to a banquet? She never showed up. She was so arrogant.
Chen Jinxing explained: "Emu likes quietness and doesn't like to come to this kind of occasion."
"What a shame, I have good news to tell her."
Chen Jinshi looked at Uncle Zheng, who had just returned from the northern border, and asked curiously, "What's the good news? Tell me first, and I'll tell her when I get back."
General Zheng chuckled and said, "Nothing much. It's just that her family gave birth to another 800 lambs this year, and her sister-in-law is almost overwhelmed."
Chen Jinxing laughed when he heard this: "Oh, then her family might make a lot of money this time."
General Zheng said, "That's right. These eight hundred lambs can be sold for at least that much when they grow up."
He made a gesture, and Chen Jinshi's eyes suddenly lit up: "Really? Then her family is a very wealthy family."
The second wife glanced at each other, all of them inevitably revealing a look of disdain. The old man's face was grim. What kind of occasion was this? Talking about raising cattle and sheep in front of so many distinguished guests, wasn't it embarrassing?
General Zheng said, "Of course the Dulan family is a wealthy family in our area. Her brother always spends at least this much on each visit."
Chen Jinshi continued to marvel and asked whether her flock of sheep was healthy and well-fed.
"Don't worry, I went to check on them when I passed by, and they're all very strong!"
Chen Jinshi wanted to ask something more, but the old man behind him coughed twice.
Chen Jinshi's smiling face suddenly became solemn, and he turned around and glanced at the old man.
He then said to Zheng Bo, "Come to the main room tonight. My mother will definitely want to see you."
General Zheng, noticing the exchange of glances between the grandfather and grandson, laughed heartily to smooth things over. "Look at me, I'm so caught up in talking about the Dulan family's affairs that I've forgotten the real thing. Brother Shi, you've been on this journey to the imperial examination. Do you want to stay in the capital or return to Nanjing?"
This topic was exactly what the old man wanted, so he immediately responded, "My family is all here, and the Chen family's ancestors have their roots here, so it's naturally better to stay in Jinling. If General Zheng has any connections, don't forget our Brother Shi."
Zheng Hechuan was stunned when he heard this and didn't respond for a moment. He and Chen Jichuan were close friends, and now that Chen Jinshi had lost both his mother and his father, he was naturally willing to do his best to support Chen Jinshi.
He smacked his lips and said seriously, "Although Jinling is nice, it's ultimately a comfortable place. It depends on what kind of future Shi Geer wants."
The old man's face was about to darken when Chen Jinshi said with a smile, "Uncle Zheng, if nothing else, you must leave a position for me in your military camp. Who knows, I might come and join you someday."
Zheng Hechuan knew he was joking. Shi Ge'er had asthma since he was a child, so how could he join the army?
But he smiled and said, "Don't worry, I'll keep it for you."
Afterwards, Chen Jinshi was dragged by the old man to meet the guests.
He endured it all day, acting like the good boy Eminem described him as.
No making trouble, no overturning the table, no leaving early.
Isn't that what she wants him to be like?
She said this morning that she was ashamed of having raised him like this.
This sentence really hurt him.
Chen Jinshi cooperated with the old man by bowing and greeting him, with just the right smile on his face, looking like a well-educated young man.
Every time Chen Jinshi looked at his grandfather's smug face, his heart ached.
He thought he was about to overturn the table, almost there.
"This is my second son, Chen Jinshi. Brother Shi, say hello to Master Zhang."
Chen Jinshi followed his instructions and bowed, "Master Zhang."
"Brother Chen, you are so lucky to have raised Shi Ge'er into such a talented young man."
Old Master Chen laughed and said, "Brother Zhang, you're joking. His parents passed away early, so we, the older generation, have to keep an eye on him."
Chen Jinshi lowered his eyes, and his long eyelashes hid the hostility surging in his eyes.
In that instant, he raised his eyes and asked his grandfather sinisterly, "How dare you say such things? Using me to curry favor with the rich and powerful isn't enough, but you're also trying to steal my mother's credit?"
These words were like a thunderclap that struck the hall.
The old man's smile froze, and the color drained away completely. His hands were shaking as he pointed at Chen Jin: "What nonsense are you talking about?"
Mr. Zhang looked at Mr. Chen with a sullen face, and then at Chen Jinshi with cold eyes. His hand holding the wine glass hung in the air, neither moving forward nor backward.
The guests around were also silent. No one expected that the gentle and polite young man just now would suddenly turn hostile and say such words to his grandfather.
Chen Jinxing was originally entertaining guests in another place. When he saw this scene, he quickly stepped forward and grabbed Chen Jinshi's wrist.
"Chen Jinshi!"
He was warning him that if he became known for being unfilial, even if he sat in the throne room, it would be difficult for him to be chosen as a Jinshi by the emperor.
Chen Jinshi didn't stop, staring at his grandfather intently: "After my mother passed away, I had an asthma attack in the middle of the night and almost died. My brother carried me to your door and asked for medicine. What did you say?"
He turned his gaze towards the old lady, his words even colder and harsher: "What did you say again?"
"Do you really think I'm too young to remember?"
Chen Jinshi pointed at the old lady's face and said, "You said, 'Anyway, this child has no mother and has a hidden illness, so he's hard to raise. He's useless when he grows up. Let him get sick and save us the trouble.'"
The old lady's face changed. She had said this in private, how could Shi Ge'er know it? She was not stupid, so why would she say it in front of others? This hesitation made her forget to refute it in public first.
The second wife's eyes began to avoid. Hey, she said this to Shi Ge'er, and her purpose was purely to piss him off.
"Chen Jinshi, stop talking!" Chen Jinxing reached out to dissuade him at the right moment, and then bowed to the guests in the hall, "I'm just drunk and talking nonsense, don't take it to heart."
Everyone knew that Chen Jinshi didn't drink at all. Chen Jinshi smiled evilly. He really didn't intend to make too big a fuss. Many things were enough to be dealt with in moderation.
Zheng Hechuan's eyes suddenly turned red as he listened. "I didn't know you had such a hard time when you were little. Sigh, your father made countless contributions to the court on the battlefield. His children shouldn't be treated like this!"
Chen Jinshi said calmly, "Uncle Zheng, why are you crying? I've grown up well, haven't I? Thanks to my mother, since she came, I can wear clothes that fit me and have someone to treat my illnesses. I, Chen Jinshi, have passed the imperial examination. Regardless of my future prospects, the first person I want to repay is Chen Ying."
There was nothing wrong with what he said, and the atmosphere in the room finally eased.
Everyone agreed: "This is what he deserves. Your mother loves you well. Shi Ge'er is still filial."
Even though saying such words in public would only put him further away from her, Chen Jinshi had to say it. He wanted to lay out her contributions, to put her above everyone else in the Chen family, and let her enjoy his glory.
He wanted to let everyone know that even if he, Chen Jinshi, became successful, the only one who could benefit from it was Chen Ying.
Wherever he stood, he would yell at Chen Ying.
The faces of the people from the second and third branches of the Chen family turned pale. They were worried that their child had such a miserable childhood with so many relatives around. Many people secretly blamed them.
Chen Jinshi was pulled out by Chen Jinxing and walked out of the flower hall. The sunlight shone on his body, casting two long shadows.
"Chen Jinshi, have you had enough of today's trouble?"
The two walked to a deserted spot. Chen Jinshi leaned against a redwood pillar, his arms folded in his tucked-in clothes, a wicked smile on his face. "Chen Jinxing, you're not here to blame me too, are you?"
Chen Jinxing felt a headache when he saw him like this.
"I'm not blaming you, I just want to tell you to consider the consequences before doing anything."
Chen Jinshi shrugged: "I've thought about it. After all the commotion today and bringing up Chen Ying, she'll probably be mad at me for a few days when she gets home. But it's okay. She'll only be mad for a few days and it'll be over."
Chen Jinxing said patiently, "I'm not talking about her."
Chen Jinshi raised his eyes and looked at him: "She is the only one in my life. There will be no consequences except that she doesn't want me anymore."
Chen Jinxing was stunned and saw something else in his eyes.
He almost collapsed to the ground, and had to lean his back against the wall to keep himself standing.
"Chen Jinshi, you can't be..."
Chen Jinshi not only did not avoid the gaze, but also raised his eyebrows: "So what?"
"Are you crazy?"
Chen Jinxing forced himself to stand up straight so that he could stand in front of him with the aura of an older brother.
"Chen Jinshi, I'm telling you clearly, no! No!"
Chen Jinshi chuckled and said, "That's what Am said too."
He didn't even listen to her, so how could he listen to his brother?
Chen Jinxing took a few deep breaths and put his hand on his shoulder: "Brother Shi, listen to me, this isn't something I say or she says is impossible, it's simply impossible, do you understand?"
The thing itself is impossible, regardless of who agrees or not.
Chen Jinshi gently waved his brother's hand away: "The man is unmarried, the woman is unmarried, nothing is impossible."
He left his brother and walked back when Chen Jinxing stopped him again, "If you had known this would happen, why did you say all that in public? You're only making things more impossible. How do you want those people to view you and her from now on?"
Chen Jinshi shook his head and covered his forehead. He couldn't deny Chen Ying's efforts for his own selfish reasons.
He was raised by Chen Ying, this is an unchangeable fact!
Without Chen Ying, he would have died long ago.
"Brother, stop talking. I haven't thought about it yet."
Chen Jinxing stopped talking and stopped trying to stop him. He also needed some space to process the fact that Chen Jinshi had just admitted.
In the evening, Chen Jichuan's old friends all came to the main room, and Chen Ying prepared a banquet in advance to entertain them.
"I knew you would come."
"Dulan, we came to see you."
Chen Jinshi and Chen Jinxing sat on a bench on the side, quietly watching the people at that table chatting.
The light and shadow of the candle swayed gently with the wind blowing through the hall, sometimes brighter and sometimes dimmer. Her face looked soft in the light, and her laughter gradually became louder.
"Chen Jinshi, you can have any feelings for her, but not this. Think about it carefully."
"But I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her like crazy! Brother."
—
It was a rare opportunity for Chen Ying to find a jar of aged wine from the cellar, as she usually didn't like drinking.
But when these people get together, they are bound to say things that make people want to cry.
"What time tonight?"
Zheng Hechuan advised: "Dulan, let's drink less with you."
Chen Ying shook the wine jar, and the clay seal loosened with a light tap of her fingertips, letting out the rich aroma of wine. She smiled and said, "This was the general's favorite wine when he was alive. I buried this jar with him. It's a good opportunity for you to drink together when you come."
Zheng Hechuan had just said this when his throat choked up. He turned away and wiped his face secretly.
The wine poured into the cup, and the amber light flickered under the candlelight.
The rims of the cups touched each other, making a crisp sound.
The wine was spicy, and as it slid down my throat, all the grievances and longings that were suppressed in my heart, as well as the anger that had been holding up this family for the past two years, suddenly softened.
Zheng Hechuan looked at her and smacked his lips: "Dulan, you've worked hard."
Chen Ying picked up her wine glass and raised it to the people at the table: "I should thank you all for taking care of my father and brother."
Although her family has been nomadic for generations, there are many wars on the border, and as a doctor, it is always difficult to protect herself.
"Don't worry, we are protecting your family."
"Second cup," she looked at Chen Jinshi and Chen Jinxing, her eyes as gentle as water, "I toast to you both for growing up well, Jinxing for having a successful career, and Shi Ge'er for having grown up well too..."
When she said this, she began to choke up and couldn't help but shed tears.
Chen Jinshi was able to live to such an old age and become a juren. When Chen Ying thought of this, she wanted to cry in front of the general.
The general would always comfort her and take care of her like a child.
"And Jinyun."
Chen Jinyun sat on the other side, ate something and then went back to rest.
Chen Ying smiled sweetly at her: "Jinyun must grow up well."
Chen Jinyun nodded vigorously.
Chen Jinxing picked up the wine glass and drank it all in one gulp. Chen Jinshi tightened his grip on the glass. He looked at her profile. She didn't look at him. He raised his glass from a distance and then drank it.
During the day, these two people claimed that they would not drink at all in the second room.
The wine flowed across Chen Jinshi's throat and tongue, making the tip of his tongue numb.
Chen Ying turned and told the generals about the past in Loufan. "One winter, there was heavy snow, and nearly all of my sheep froze to death. The mountains within a hundred miles were completely blocked by snow, and we were trapped in the mountains. Without hay to keep warm, everyone's hands were frozen like carrots. My brother had just turned seventeen, the same age as Shi Ge'er is now. He carried a bag to the neighboring village to borrow hay, but he got stuck in the snow after only three miles. When he returned, half his body was purple."
Chen Ying took a sip from the wine glass, the wine spreading on her tongue with a hint of sweetness. "I held the smallest lamb in the sheepfold. I was afraid it wouldn't survive, so I took off my cotton-padded jacket and wrapped it around it, then lay down among the sheep to keep warm. By daybreak, I was too cold to speak, but the lamb in my arms was still breathing."
Zheng Hechuan sighed, "Winter in Loufan is no joke! That lamb is worth two hundred yuan, so I have to hold it in my arms and keep it warm."
Chen Jinshi listened quietly, his eyes never leaving her.
He listened to her talk of old times, sometimes laughing heartily, and then he poured himself a drink.
He thought, no wonder she always smells like goat's milk.
The faint fragrance was like bedding that had been dried in the sun in winter, warm and soft. He always suspected that she was raised in goat's milk. Today he found out that the smell was a unique scent formed by the wind and snow in Loufan, the warmth of the sheep, and the softness beneath her honest appearance.
She gave the lamb the same loving care she had given him.
He also wanted to be held in her arms during a snowstorm, burying himself in her full breasts and soft belly for warmth. There was nothing around them, just a vast expanse of white. There was no exquisite house, no charcoal stove for heating. There were only the two of them in the world, wrapping themselves around each other. If they could not draw heat from each other's breath, after falling asleep, no one would know whether they would be able to wake up the next day.
"What happened next?" Chen Jinshi, who had been sitting on the side, suddenly spoke, his voice a little hoarse.
Chen Ying looked up at him and smiled. "Later, my brother cured Khatun's illness and brought back a box of fox furs. Our family never got frostbite again, and my father and brother could wear the furs and go further afield to look for hay."
"Am," he suddenly said, "were you afraid when you were holding the lamb?"
Chen Ying smiled and said, "What's there to be afraid of? Either it lives or I die. I was thinking at the time that if this lamb survived, it would give birth to three lambs next year, and five the year after, and my family would have more and more sheep."
Chen Jinshi looked at her, his throat tightened, he breathed heavily, his mother.
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