Without saying anything meaningless, it doesn't matter. Suli took another sip of warm water and said, "I just feel disgusted."
"I hate myself, and I also hate the sight of broken limbs flying everywhere."
“I had seen death before in Jisuo Town, but when I caused death myself, I was filled with self-loathing.”
Suli knows very well that some emotions are not suitable for a person to ponder alone, and sometimes it is better to speak them out.
"I would wonder how bad people can be. I would also wonder why I had to go through all this..."
Sully lowered his eyelids. The clear warm water in the cup was shaken by his trembling wristband.
Suli, who was standing on the city wall at that time, saw with his own eyes how those who died at the hands of Euphia met their own end.
The patriarch's throat was pierced and blood was gushing out.
He had never seen such a scene before, and had never thought that the battle between humans and humans would have such a huge difference in impact on him compared to the battle between humans and monsters.
Euphia was one of the most sensitive people associated with the small building. When she came up to the city wall, she probably noticed that he was a little uncomfortable because of the smell of blood coming from her body.
Therefore, jokes came out of his mouth.
Others may not understand what is going on, but they have become accustomed to cooperating, and the atmosphere has become much more lively.
The last time this kind of excitement appeared was when the weather was still hot and Euphia had just reached a cooperation with the leader of the Lions Club. They were drinking together in the small building.
Suli was not the kind of person who needed comfort from others to feel better, so he shifted all his attention to the possible actions of the enemy in the future.
Thinking about these things will divert his attention, but the diverted attention will always return.
On the way home, walking on the sparsely populated street, and the moment I saw the small building...
Sully's body finally developed a stress response after such long-term depression.
Vomiting was just the most obvious manifestation. Suli couldn't help but wonder whether there were ghosts and whether Boren, who died because of him, would seek revenge on him.
Although I know that I shouldn't think about all this and it's meaningless...but if a person can really achieve that level of rationality perfectly, then Suli himself would say that he is not a human being, but a god.
Suli held the cup tightly and drank all the warm water in it in one breath. Then his eyes gradually returned to clarity. He said calmly, "But don't worry. Things that can be said will eventually pass."
"I'm telling you this to avoid unnecessary worries."
"I am a very ordinary person. I am afraid of death and disasters. But if everything really comes to me, after the adaptation period, I think it won't be difficult to get used to the rules."
External physical dangers can be dealt with by relying on the protection of others and the assistance of alchemy tools, but once the mind has problems, it will be really bad.
Mark was silent for a while and then said, "I'll go cook some food that's easy to digest."
"Cyril is coming too."
The boy next to him was confused: "But..."
"No buts. The kitchen was renovated by Lan Zhe, and I haven't used it for a long time. If you don't tell me how to use the things there, and I blow up the kitchen, I won't be the only one to be in trouble." Mark rarely said a series of words.
Cyril held back the words that followed, and finally stood up, silently following Mark to the kitchen.
Sully, who was sitting in the hall, placed the empty cup in his hand on the tea table very gently, even hoping that the cup and the tea table would not make any sound when they touched.
This kind of forced behavior is obviously not normal.
But when it was finished, Suli stood up and walked towards the room on the second floor with heavy steps.
As for the crow, when Sully passed by the painting where he used to stay, his wings were gently grasped and he was placed on top.
"You can tell me all your thoughts. There is no need to endure the torture alone." The crow never transformed into a human form, because if he condensed a set of clothes with elements, he would still be naked in Suli's eyes, so he maintained the image of a crow and spoke human words.
"I'm not as fragile as you think." Su Li was stunned for a moment, then poked the crow's black head again.
The crow has soft feathers and reflective eyes, and one can tell at a glance that it is a handsome crow.
"I just think that if such a sudden stress response is not properly cared for, it is very likely to cause complications and lead to illness."
"I went upstairs just to get two pieces of clothing." Suli even explained it deliberately and emphasized.
So when the crow stopped talking, Sully thought his explanation was complete.
But in the eyes of the raven, the red ring made by Euphia is still on Suli's hand, and the temperature around it will always be constant.
So how is it possible that you would suddenly feel cold and need to put on more clothes just because you are feeling unwell?
For the first time, Du Ya felt what it meant to be distressed. Unlike the others in the small building, who had their own guesses about Suli's past, the ninth-level monster just thought that Suli was still a cub.
The cubs, of course, can choose to reject things they don't want to accept.
But...Sully wouldn't refuse.
Du Ya felt upset.
However, Sully, who went upstairs, did just as he said, he simply wanted to add a few more clothes.
When he spoke his mind frankly, it proved that he could definitely get through this hurdle.
Burying all thoughts deep in one's heart and not sharing them with others, or intentionally not spitting them out to others to avoid disturbing them, is certainly a friendly manifestation of human beings in social situations.
But when the purpose is not to spit mud, but to express certain ideas and try to get out of that state, then the essence of communication will only become another kind of motivation.
So even if his body temperature felt normal, Sully would deliberately control it in order to prevent himself from getting sick and causing unnecessary trouble to the subsequent war.
After all, the most you'll get from wearing extra clothes is sweat. If you sweat, you can just take a shower. But if you get sick, the trouble will be much longer-term.
But the people downstairs obviously didn't think so.
For example, Cyril, who was in the kitchen at this moment, was washing vegetables in the sink when she asked Mark in a muffled voice, "Why did you stop me from continuing?"
"Go on, what are you going to say? Continue to analyze the psychological trauma that Sulin has already taken the initiative to put in front of you? Or, create some meaningless verbal comfort." Mark said while washing rice.
He plans to cook porridge.
"Don't forget, just now, you didn't even know what to do unless Sully told you to." Mark turned his head and stared at the faintly visible scales on Cyril's face. He couldn't help but have the idea of resistance in his heart, but it was suppressed in the blink of an eye.
Mark seldom shows himself. In this small building, he is like a transparent tool most of the time, not too involved, but not completely detached either.
I also intend to maintain this state.
But if we were to ask who in the small building could best create a quiet personal space for Sully, it would definitely be Mark.
Others will only suppress their chances of sorting out their own ideas out of concern.
Mark wouldn't, so he said: "Strength is not the basis for determining whether a person's mentality is strong. For people like us, the most important thing is to worry about Suli's life safety. What we need to do is to create a safe place for him to reasonably show himself. As for the changes in his mentality, instead of talking too much, it is better to leave him enough personal space."
"Excessive words will only become redundant and entangled with others. The gap between the powerful and the intelligent cannot be made up by self-righteousness."
Cyril wanted to say, "You are exaggerating."
But he knew very well that what Mark said was true.
If Suli himself cannot sort out his own mood, then the comfort of others will be redundant.
After a long silence, when the rice porridge was already gurgling, Cyril asked again: "So, why is Sully like this?"
"I don't have an answer to that question either." Mark used a spoon to stir the rice in the pot. After a moment of silence, he made sure that the rice porridge would not get stuck on the bottom, so he put the lid back on and responded, "For people like you and me who were born in the lower class, accepting all cruel phenomena can be explained as we have seen too much. And the upper class, such as the other people in the small building, can mostly say that they have created too much, so they will not feel uncomfortable with the scene either."
"So I can't tell what these things are that are tormenting Sully's mind."
Mark calmly demonstrated his incompetence.
Cyril was silent for a moment. He scooped up the chopped vegetables with a kitchen knife and poured them into the rice porridge pot. Then he asked, "If I ask Sully when we have dinner later, will you stop me?"
"No." Mark raised his hand and took out three bowls and a small plate from the high cabinet in the kitchen.
Just like Suli's habit of summarizing other things from what he already has, the people around him are actually gradually learning this skill.
Mark was thinking: If Sully gave them the answer they wanted, then it would mean that there was no problem. On the contrary, he chose to talk about something else, which proved that he thought it was something they couldn't know.
But Mark didn't expect that Sully, who put on his coat and drank porridge with a spoon, with his hands shaking a little, would give an answer completely different from what he guessed.
"What are the reasons for the pain? There are too many, so I will pick out two that are easier to understand." Suli has completely changed from his previous loss of composure to his normal state.
"I can't stand the sight of blood, and I don't want to see people killing each other. In my opinion, that is extremely redundant, useless, and even stupid behavior that prevents development."
"So, in my opinion, no bloodshed, no killing of one another, that's 'right'."
Suli, who firmly maintains his own three views, does not need to break his own views even if he is forced to make appropriate compromises due to reality.
As he always believed, the problem is with the world, not him.
Cyril's mouth widened.
Feeling his stiff gaze, Mark returned to his usual silence, and drank a mouthful of porridge as if nothing had happened.
Cyril: ………………
Perhaps he found the scene amusing, Sully put down his bowl and chopsticks, which he had already finished eating. He looked calm, with a hint of obvious smile in his eyes. He said, "People like me are usually shameless."
"Since I am dissatisfied with this world, I will never blame myself for the bad world. I will only curse it for being so rubbish. How can it make a law-abiding person like me who will not show shamelessness unless necessary... become despicable."
"After dinner, please ask Crow to inform the people on the other side of the city wall that my presence has probably been noticed by the enemy. Ask them to watch for the arrival of the enemy's commander and notify me once he arrives."
——If you have the ability, come and try it. Who can use this tactic of assassinating important enemy figures better?
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