Chapter 58 Ning Ziku "Miss Xue, moor the boat..."
According to the lunar calendar, Xiao Huaiting went to Jixiang Temple once a month to study music with Lady Yu.
He arrived early in the morning and didn't leave until nearly evening.
Lady Yu wanted to go for a spring outing with her maids in the woods behind Jixiang Temple, so Xiao Huaiting bid her farewell and left with his zither.
He came alone. At home or elsewhere, he was always followed by a lot of people, so he didn't like people following him whenever he came to Jixiang Temple.
Alone on horseback, he came alone and returned alone, with little comfort.
He left the meditation room, passed the pagoda and the Longevity Pond, and walked up the climbing corridor. Just as he was about to descend, he suddenly stopped.
Someone sat under the long corridor on the other side, quietly looking up at the setting sun.
The setting sun bathed her in a bright light, almost blurring her features. She seemed somewhat melancholy, sitting there like a silent mountain.
Regardless of his status or manners, Xiao Huaiting shouldn't have stopped or stared at her so openly.
However, he and Xue Chan have met and spent far too little time together. Their meetings are always brief, and they have never had a proper conversation.
She probably doesn't even remember herself anymore, leaving him alone to grieve in silence.
"Young Master Xiao"
Xue Chan stood up at some point and looked at him from under the eaves.
Xiao Huaiting hugged the zither tightly and moved his feet slightly.
Reason and propriety were desperately trying to stop him, but he still followed his heart and walked forward, until he was a few steps away from Xue Chan.
She also stepped back and bowed to him.
Xiao Huaiting asked, "What brings Miss Xue here?"
"I set up an offering tablet for my mother at Jixiang Temple, so I came here to offer incense," Xue Chan replied politely, then asked, "Is Young Master Xiao also here to offer incense? Where is Miss Xiao San?"
Xiao Huaiting looked at her, but only when he got closer did he realize that her face was overly gloomy, with only a thin smile on her lips, and the rest of her face was blank.
He didn't actually know why he used the word "blank," perhaps because there was no emotion on that face. Like a piece of glass, without impurities, without anything at all.
It was completely empty.
"Yang Jun went out for a stroll with several other girls, and I did not come along. As for me, I came here specifically to learn music from Lady Xiao."
That was a habit he had maintained for over a decade since childhood. In the past, all of them were taught and guided in music by Madam Yu, but as they grew older, only he and Jiang Ce remained to learn.
Xue Chan's clear eyes flickered slightly, and she said softly, "I see, what a coincidence."
When people meet, they are always warm and friendly, and they often say, "What a coincidence!"
Whether it's politeness, formality, joy, excitement, or sarcasm, it all reflects human emotions, unlike the way she puts them.
Flat and light, bland and tasteless.
Xiao Huaiting didn't know how to answer for a moment. In fact, he should have left after exchanging pleasantries, but he lingered and refused to move.
The atmosphere became awkward, and even the sunset reflected on the wall stopped moving, turning into a painting.
Xiao Huaiting was a little nervous. He swallowed hard and asked her, "Miss Xue, can you play the zither?"
As soon as the words left his mouth, he closed his eyes in regret.
Xue Chan's gaze fell on the zither in his arms, and she said indifferently, "I am not good at playing the zither, nor am I good at music. I have disappointed Prince Xiao."
"No, no, no!" Xiao Huaiting tensed up again, eager to explain, "That's not what I meant, I-------"
"I know, Your Highness need not worry." Perhaps finding his hurried and flustered appearance amusing, Xue Chan revealed a gentle smile.
Xiao Huaiting breathed a sigh of relief, but unexpectedly, Xue Chan asked him a question after a moment of silence.
"Has Young Master Xiao seen me before? It seems like every time..."
He looked up at Xue Chan, but she remained calm and composed.
Xiao Huaiting lowered his eyes and said, "Three times: the Lantern Festival, the Cuju (ancient Chinese football) match, and the Shangsi Festival."
“I’m talking about the three times we met. From the first time you met me, it seemed like you knew me. You always seemed to have something to say to me.”
Xue Chan looked at him quietly, her expression direct and straightforward.
Xiao Huaiting remained silent. Should he speak?
But what can I say?
I've met you before, and I fell in love with you at first sight?
But what's the point of saying it?
From the very first moment we said goodbye, it was already impossible.
Is he trying to steal someone else's love? And this person is someone he's known for years. Even if it really comes to that, so what?
Who can accept it?
Was it someone from the capital, his parents, His Majesty, her, or Bozhou?
There's no need to even consider these people; his identity and the responsibilities on his shoulders don't allow for such a situation.
His liking, his feelings, none of that matters.
Xiao Huaiting shook his head and smiled.
"I once met a girl, but we were just strangers and missed each other immediately. This girl looks somewhat like you, so I mistook her for someone else. As for me, I haven't had a chance to apologize to Miss Xue yet."
"I see. It wasn't a big deal, so why apologize?"
Perhaps seeing his dejected expression, Xue Chan gently comforted him: "There are many beautiful women in the world. With your family background and good looks, Your Highness, you have no shortage of suitors. Your Highness is handsome and blessed by Heaven, so it will not be kind to you."
Xiao Huaiting just smiled, then suddenly remembered Jiang Ce's absent-mindedness after his relaxed demeanor.
"Miss Xue...did you quarrel with Bo Zhou?"
Xue Chan glanced at him, then remembered that he and Jiang Ce were good friends, so the slight smile on her face faded, barely hanging on the corner of her mouth as if it could be blown away by the wind at any moment.
Seeing her remain silent, Xiao Huaiting said softly, "I grew up with Bo Zhou and know his character well. He can be stubborn, and often says one thing but means another. But he is deeply affectionate, and there is no one more kind and sincere than him. Sometimes, he may indeed misunderstand things, but his heart is good. Although Miss Xue has been in the capital for some time, her relationship with Bo Zhou is not particularly close, and she has misunderstood him because of some rumors..."
Xiao Huaiting said a lot, but Xue Chan just stood there quietly listening to him.
She didn't react at all, not even with perfunctory pleasantries. Only the crimson sash tied around her waist fluttered in the wind, playing around with it, lively and full of life.
Xiao Huaiting didn't know what to say next, but as a friend, even if he couldn't be with the person he loved, he hoped that Jiang Ce could be reunited and happy with the person he loved.
After a moment of silence, Xiao Huaiting spoke again.
“Miss Xue, Bo Zhou… likes you very much.”
Xue Chan reacted and gently asked him, "So?"
Xiao Huaiting: "So, could you please be more understanding and tolerant?"
Xue Chan suddenly smiled. Her smile was gentle and soft, but her words were sharp and cold.
"On what grounds?"
He hadn't expected Xue Chan to say that, and looked up in astonishment, speechless.
Xue Chan continued, smiling as she spoke, "Why should I tolerate him? Is it because I'm a woman, and I have to obey whatever he says or does? Is it because I'm of lower birth than him, so I have to bow down? Or is it simply because he likes me that he can do whatever he wants? And I can't speak or act because he likes me?"
"Why should I? Is his affection a get-out-of-jail-free card?"
Who was she asking this question to? Perhaps she was asking Xiao Huaiting, or perhaps she was asking herself.
"This marriage wasn't something I asked for. I was perfectly fine in Yuchuan. Even without the engagement, even without him, I was living a good life. I don't owe him anything, so just because he likes me, am I supposed to forgive and tolerate everything?"
"So what if he likes me? Why should I suffer the injustices inflicted by love when I haven't even experienced the joy it brings?"
Her voice was always as gentle as her appearance, but each question was as sharp and jagged as a mountain rock, piercing straight into one's heart and drawing blood.
Xiao Huaiting was taken aback and gripped the hand holding the zither tightly.
This was the first time he had spoken to her seriously, but she was quite different from the person who played the piano by the clear autumn water and angrily threw pebbles at the water.
The person in front of me was sharp and incisive.
Xiao Huaiting was stunned by Xue Chan's reaction and lowered his head: "I'm sorry, it was me... I misspoke."
"If he really likes me, why doesn't he just tell me directly? Even now, he still has to rely on others to speak for him."
"Silence is an illusion, and retreat is cowardice; I have never liked either."
Xiao Huaiting looked up in surprise: "You...don't like Bozhou?"
Xue Chan looked at him, her gaze seemingly passing over him, and smiled, saying, "Jiang Ce is a hypocrite, cowardly and evasive. Can he be a good man?"
Her words left Xiao Huaiting speechless; he couldn't even tell who Xue Chan was asking.
Xue Chan curtsied and said, "It's getting late, so I'll take my leave now."
She turned and left, leaving Xiao Huaiting standing under the corridor, looking somewhat lost in the wind.
Only when Xue Chan's figure faded further and further, and was finally swept away by the wind, did he come to his senses and decide to leave with his zither.
But as soon as he turned around, he saw Jiang Ce standing on the stone steps behind him. He didn't know when he had arrived, or how much he had heard.
So, were Xue Chan's words just now addressed to him? Or to Jiang Ce? Or perhaps both?
Xiao Huaiting tried to explain, "Bo Zhou, Miss Xue, she---"
Jiang Ce smiled at him: "Huai Ting, Zheng Shaoyu and I will invite you for drinks another day. Let's skip it today."
He strode up the stone steps, chasing after the direction Xue Chan had gone.
Xiao Huaiting wanted to chase after him, but he stopped after taking just one step.
What right does he have to interfere in their affairs?
Jiang Ce didn't fall asleep until midnight, and because he was drunk and exhausted, he slept until the afternoon. When he got up, his head was throbbing, and he remained groggy for a long time.
Hearing from the maids that Xiao Huaiting had come to Jixiang Temple as usual, she changed her clothes and prepared to go find him.
But as he walked down the mountain corridor, he saw Xue Chan talking to Xiao Huaiting. He quietly went down the stone steps, and as he climbed them, he heard Xiao Huaiting ask Xue Chan if she didn't like him.
Xue Chan did not answer, but instead saw him standing on the stone steps and laughed, looking at him and saying that sentence.
"Jiang Ce is a hypocrite, cowardly and evasive. Can he be a good man?"
My head started to hurt again, and my whole body felt heavy and slightly dizzy.
Jiang Ce felt all the blood and qi in his body surge up, blocking his chest, making him feel bloated and quite uncomfortable.
His chest was throbbing with pain, and he even began to bend over, clutching his chest and breathing deeply and slowly.
Jiang Ce calmed himself down and seemed much more at ease. He made up his mind and started walking forward.
When Jiang Ce found Xue Chan, she was alone by the Longevity Pool, with Chu Tao and Yun Sheng sitting not far away.
He didn't go forward immediately, but instead stood quietly under the pagoda and watched her.
She wore a pearl-white shirt, a blue silk skirt, and had a plain face and clean hair, with only a small hairpin as her adornment.
Her hair was draped in a white veil, and she resembled Guanyin. However, she did not possess the true compassion and mercy of Guanyin. Instead, she was merely a soulless porcelain statue seated high on a lotus pedestal, exuding only a touch of coldness and a hint of indifference.
The seemingly heartless Guanyin was actually compassionate at this moment. She bent down and picked up the pure white pear blossoms from the ground, placing them into a silk handkerchief.
That was the last pear tree in spring; once the flowers had all bloomed, spring would be over.
Springtime ends, summer's heat begins.
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