"I'm so sorry, I just couldn't help myself when I saw you."
Zhang Hao smiled and said, "You didn't control your strength well, Erpang, help Brother Yuwen recover."
Before Xu Mengyan could step forward...
Yuwen Tuo politely declined, then looked at Xu Mengyan with a curious gaze: "No need, thank you. My light magic can also heal. You are Xu Mengyan? You are very beautiful... Are you the commander of the Light Legion? I've never heard of you."
"Actually, the Light Legion was only established today, and I'm the only commander here. If you join the Light Legion... I can give you my position as commander." Xu Mengyan blinked her beautiful eyes.
"No need, thank you for your kindness."
Yuwen Tuo shook his head helplessly.
He didn't come here to join the Dawn Society.
He just wanted to find out if what Zhang Hao said was true, and to discuss the development of the apocalyptic situation. He didn't really like the idea of living under someone else's roof.
Zhang Hao is truly his brother.
It would be even more awkward if I became his subordinate.
Yuwen Tuo's refusal gave Zhang Hao a glimpse into his attitude, but he didn't mind at all: "Don't stand at the door. Everyone else, go do what you need to do. Let me have a proper private talk with Brother Yuwen."
"This is A-Lian, right? He's your childhood friend? Well... I'll have a tour guide take him around to the various scenic spots in the back mountain. The back mountain is quite interesting; the peach blossom forest and the Rebirth Cave are both pretty good."
"Big brother..."
UAE's eyes showed worry.
Yuwen Tuo patted him on the shoulder: "Go ahead. Since you're on someone else's turf, just go along with the host... I'll be fine. Remember to have fun. I'll come find you after we've finished talking."
"Understood, brother."
UAE also left with the tour guide.
Yuwen Tuo was welcomed into the villa, and the two sat on the sofa.
Zhang Hao asked, "What would you like to drink?"
Do you have iced coffee?
"Of course, Xiao Fang... make Brother Yuwen a cup of iced coffee, and me a cup of iced black tea."
"Okay, coming right away."
Fang Ping responded from next door.
He served iced tea and coffee, and tactfully went outside to wait for them, preventing their secret conversation from being overheard.
Zhang Hao was also very direct, getting straight to the point: "Brother Yuwen, just say what you're wondering. There's no need for us brothers to beat around the bush."
"I'm very curious..."
Yuwen Tuo hesitated and asked, "Is all of that true? Will we really be brothers in the future? But I always feel like... isn't that a bit too unscientific? How could such a thing be predicted? Is that strategist really that powerful?"
Zhang Hao replied, "Of course it's amazing. I know you don't quite believe it yet, so let me tell you some details that aren't in the envelope. When you were little, you fell off a tree while climbing and scraped your bottom, leaving you with a hemorrhoid, right?"
"and……"
"When Er Ya next door was pooping, you were young and didn't understand anything, but you still instinctively exclaimed 'Zhen Bai!' After that, that big butt and poop lingered in your mind."
"When you were in sixth grade, you still wouldn't give up... You thought only Er Ya pooped, so you would always stare at other people's butts, and you even wanted to go into the girls' restroom to find out, and you actually did it..."
"Stop talking, stop talking..."
Yuwen Tuo covered his face.
His face was filled with shame.
"Don't be ashamed. How old were you back then? What's wrong with going to the girls' restroom when you were young and ignorant? It's mainly Er Ya's fault... If that girl hadn't pooped in front of you, you wouldn't have suffered such severe psychological trauma."
Zhang Hao clicked his tongue in disbelief and said, "Er Ya is much older than you, she's in her twenties, and she actually did such a heinous thing in front of a child, ruining a boy's dream of a fairy..."
"Please stop talking."
"So, do you believe it now?"
"I believe it, I believe it."
Yuwen Tuo was utterly humiliated.
If you still don't believe me, Zhang Hao is afraid he'll shoot you dead a hundred times over.
Fortunately, there were no outsiders here... otherwise, he could have dug a hole in the ground and buried himself right there; it would have been too embarrassing.
"Just believe it."
Zhang Hao said with concern, "Actually, I think the reason you can't get up is because you can't get over that psychological hurdle. Although I don't have a psychologist here, I do have a very capable biology expert who can definitely cure your problem."
"A biology expert? That's not a relevant field, is it?" Yuwen Tuo asked with a doubtful look.
"That shows your ignorance. His greatest skill is not treating patients, but transplanting biological tissues and organs."
Zhang Hao replied, "If your Kunba is really ruined, we can just have him transplant a new one for you. It couldn't be easier."
"If you don't like the normal ones, I can have him transplant some from Kunba zombies for you. The shortest ones are over thirty meters long... the long ones are sixty or seventy meters long. That should be enough to restore your virility, right?"
"What the heck? A transplant of Khunpa?"
Yuwen Tuo was dumbfounded: "Over thirty meters long? Transplanted into a human body? Good heavens! Nobody would want that, right? If this thing were transplanted... wouldn't it be wrapped around their waist?"
"Who said that?"
Zhang Hao said with a smile, "That biological expert transplanted it, and not just once. It's a whole 60-meter-long kunba. If it were cut into sections... it could be used to make kebabs."
? ? ?
Holy crap! It actually exists?
Yuwen Tuo was completely bewildered.
What kind of organization is this?
Why are there such strange people here? It feels like I've walked into a trap.
Zhang Hao patiently explained, "That biological expert is called the Ghost Doctor. Don't worry... He's the only one who's not quite normal. Uh... okay, there's also someone who studies psychotoxins and a monkey who's always yelling about fighting. Everyone else is pretty normal."
Yuwen Tuo: "..."
"By the way, do you need a transplant?"
"don't want."
"How about letting the quack doctor take a look at you first? Or you can take your pants off here and I'll have the quack doctor come over? That way, we can also prevent outsiders from seeing."
"No, absolutely not."
Yuwentuo took a deep breath: "My personal matters aren't urgent. Let's talk about the bigger picture of the apocalypse. Didn't you say... the situation is about to become tense? I'd like to ask you some specific questions."
Zhang Hao pondered for a moment and then asked, "Do you think humanity can win?"
"Of course, I firmly believe it."
Yuwen Tuo did not hesitate.
Seeing the other person's confident expression, Zhang Hao couldn't help but sigh and said, "What would you think if I told you that humanity's chances of winning are extremely slim, and that even survival would be very difficult?"
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