"Ayan, what is the san value?" Shen Lanzhou asked absentmindedly after taking out the crystal core from the zombie's head.
She always felt as if something was secretly watching her, but when she carefully sensed it, she could not find anything. The shadow-like gaze made her feel uncomfortable all over.
"You've asked the right person, Lan Zhou." Xu Yan wiped the sweat from her forehead, feeling like a hero finally finding her place. "SAN stands for Sanity, which means rationality. It originated from the board game 'Call of Cthulhu.' If a person experiences something supernatural or extremely horrifying, causing a mental shock, their SAN will decrease. When the SAN value reaches 0, they will go mad and lose their rationality."
"But some of the conditions for losing San points are strange and vary from person to person. For example, if a shiny, palm-sized cockroach lands in front of someone and they're asked to lick it, some people's San points will instantly drop to zero and go crazy. But an insect enthusiast might simply see it as a gift from heaven and not lose San points."
The corners of Shen Lanzhou's mouth twitched. This metaphor was acceptable. It successfully disgusted her and her sanity value was reduced by -1.
Xu Yan's explanation gave her a certain understanding of this thing.
Is it rational...
Shen Lanzhou recalled the uncontrollable fear in his body when facing the tall black shadow. Does that mean that the monster is some kind of supernatural thing?
"Ayan, how can humans deal with that kind of thing... that unspeakable thing?"
"Based on what I've learned from playing games, humans have close to zero chance of winning against Cthulhu-like monsters."
Xu Yan, clearly a seasoned player, was intrigued by the questions Shen Lanzhou posed. She chanted in the strains of a Shakespearean aria, "Existence is the foam on the sea of nothingness, knowledge the poison bait that leads to madness. How high is the sky? How vast is the earth? Compared to the infinite universe, humans, and even the Earth, are even smaller and more insignificant than microorganisms. Facing the indescribable entity that is more distant than the ancient past, deeper than a black hole, how can humanity resist?"
Facing his friend who had suffered from a middle school syndrome, Shen Lanzhou had a blank expression: "...Oh, that's really amazing."
She keenly noticed the loophole in her friend's words: "Oh, right, you just said that the chances of defeating those monsters are infinitely close to zero, but it's not impossible, right?"
"That's right!" Xu Yan's body seemed to be burning with a blazing flame. With a powerful blow, she knocked over a powerful zombie with a stick. "The hymn of humanity is the hymn of courage. The greatness of humanity is the greatness of courage. In the plot, there are also legendary investigators who have successfully defeated monsters and even survived the gaze of the Outer Gods."
"Wait a minute, what are Outer Gods?" The girl was filled with questions due to all the strange settings.
"This is a setting in the game. The Outer Gods, Ancient Gods, and Great Old Ones are legendary beings at the pinnacle of the universe. They are ineffable, incredible, and indescribable. They are the embodiment of the supreme truth of the universe. If a mortal were to look directly at even the weakest Outer God, the least they would do is fall into unspeakable madness." Xu Yan sighed softly, "Fortunately, these are only settings in literary works and games. If such a foul existence appeared in reality, I really don't know what I would do..."
"Is... is that so..." Shen Lanzhou's body trembled slightly. She was not stimulated by anything, but for some reason her body trembled uncontrollably after hearing Xu Yan's story.
Outer Gods, Ancient Gods, Great Old Ones, do these extremely abstract-sounding things really exist?
Does that black shadow also exist like this?
No, if "He" was all of these things, then there was no need to be afraid. He was just a perverted monster who had kidnapped a young girl, and now he was just bullying me by relying on his immense power.
Sooner or later one day...
"It's rare that you're interested in these things, Lan Zhou. I've tried to recommend them to you so many times before, but you remained indifferent." Xu Yan sighed. "It's a pity there's no internet right now, otherwise I'd definitely share with you my collection of PDFs of books like 'The Book of Eibon,' 'The Ritual of the Corpse-Eating Cult,' 'The Seven-Chapter Secret Scripture of the Mysterious Lord,' 'The Book of the Dead,' and so on... Authentic physical books won't work. They're just for collection now. I don't have any books for missionary work."
"...That's totally unnecessary. Ah Yan, it's the end of the world now, so it's better to focus more on the important matter of survival."
Shen Lanzhou quickly stopped him.
For some reason, when she heard Xu Yan read out a string of book titles like the names of dishes, her sensitive trigeminal nerve twitched wildly, as if there was great terror in them.
Rebirth exists, as do monsters that can wipe out people's sanity. The existence of Outer Gods, Ancient Gods, and Great Old Ones is not impossible...
"Lan Zhou."
"Um?"
"Did anything happen to you today?"
"Why do you think so?" Shen Lanzhou looked at his friend as if nothing had happened, but met those bright and lively eyes.
There was a long, narrow scar on Xu Yan's face, a scratch from a speed zombie's sneak attack while she was fighting a strength zombie. The sudden appearance of a scar on the girl's heroic face gave Shen Lanzhou a sense of regret, a sense of the destruction of something flawless, and the beauty of destruction.
"You're acting very strangely today, like you've encountered something and you seem very anxious.
Lanzhou, we've known each other since kindergarten. Even if you hide it well, some little habits can't be hidden."
You're so perceptive, Yan. Including the ten years of the apocalypse, I'm already twenty-seven. I never expected you, a seventeen-year-old, could still see through me.
Shen Lanzhou smiled helplessly and didn't reply, which was considered as his agreement.
"Is it because of Liang Shimeng? Actually, your abnormality started from that time." Xu Yan looked at her steadily.
"Ayan, I did encounter some things, but I can't tell you, because if you are involved, you will hold me back." Shen Lanzhou said the hurtful words very bluntly. The black shadow fell into uncontrollable madness just by looking at her. What should Ayan do?
"So I hope you can grow up quickly so that I can leave with peace of mind."
Xu Yan opened her mouth, then sighed dejectedly, saying nothing more. Even Lan Zhou, who could kill zombies as easily as chickens, found this terrifying and daunting. A weakling like her couldn't help at all.
Just as what was said in her favorite coc role-playing game, for ordinary people, only ignorance can lead to a happy life.
"Lan Zhou, we won't hold you back." She looked at her friend and said firmly.
Shen Lanzhou showed the loving expression of an old father: "Ayan, I will teach you all the knowledge I know, study hard. Also, Xiaoqian fell off the bed and hit her head when she was a child, so she has not been very smart since she was a child. Please help me take good care of her."
The look on Xu Yan's face made her feel a little uncomfortable. "By the way, Lan Zhou, although I already knew you were reborn, I still don't know how long after the apocalypse did you return?"
"ten years."
"27 years old?!"
"Hmm~"
"Then you are quite good at pretending to be young."
“…”
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