Chapter 36 Getting into Character: Liking someone makes you want to be with them, but loving someone also makes you want them to shine.
Although everyone assumed that Yun Chui and Song Man had been dating for a long time, Qin Lan had always been skeptical. Since she could remember, Yun Chui had always been so kind to Song Man, and the haughty Miss Song would only act coquettishly towards Yun Chui. Before Yu Jintang told her, she had always believed it was the epitome of friendship.
Yu Jintang posed a series of thought-provoking questions: "Would you give your best friend a bib? Would you pack travel underwear for your best friend? Would you put socks on your best friend, wipe her mouth, and prepare nail clippers for her?"
Qin Lan retorted confidently, "Can't Ren Yunchui be happy to be Song Man's nanny?!"
"The higher the virtue, the stronger the temptation." She clung to her, her eyes blinking like wings: "Sister Qin, I want you to be my maid too! Come wipe my mouth... Sister Qin, Sister Qin, stop hitting me! Hey, if you keep this up, I won't hold back anymore, I'll unleash my full power—Ouch! Don't kick my butt!! It'll stunt my growth!!!"
Qin Lan firmly believes that Yun Chui and Song Man are only in the kind of "more than friends, less than lovers" state that teachers mentioned during ideological education.
It wasn't until the first semester of her senior year, when she witnessed the terrifying argument between Song Man and Yun Chui, that she began to believe they were really dating.
This was the first time she had heard the word "love" uttered by Yun Chui, and she saw the deep disappointment in her eyes, as well as Song Manru's furious expression of betrayal. At that moment, she felt that the two of them would either sever all ties or begin to hate each other fiercely the next second.
For the past year, Song Man and Yun Chui have been preparing for the national standard ballroom finals, and the champion will be able to participate in next year's international championships.
Song Man's dream is to win the Blackpool Dance Festival, an honor and recognition that countless dancers crave. She doesn't need recognition, but she loves to walk proudly onto the podium, like a delicate swan adorning her neck with a medal.
However, after the two had been rehearsing for a while, Yun Chui began to frequently miss their training sessions.
Song Man was furious and had a one-sided argument with her. But she didn't expect that the situation would not improve. A month later, Yun Chui reappeared in the practice room and announced that she was giving up the competition and even leaving the dance troupe.
At that moment, Qin Lan and the others all saw Song Man's face begin to turn furious.
"Fine, you disappeared, and now you're withdrawing from the competition? What's gotten into you? Is Latin dance just my dream???"
Yun Chui was silent for a moment, then said, "I won't dance anymore, but I don't want this to affect our relationship. We can continue as before..."
"Not dancing Latin anymore and you call that 'as always'?" Song Man was almost knocked unconscious by this bad news: "Let me tell you, Yun Chui, if you withdraw from the competition today, it's over between us!"
The onlookers were all shocked and wanted to mediate but didn't know how to say it. Yang Xingji quietly asked Yun Chui why he withdrew from the competition, while Yu Jintang advised Song Man to calm down and not get so angry.
Song Man was so angry she felt like she was going to vomit blood, but her eyes held a deep sorrow that silenced everyone: "How can you expect me to stay calm? I've waited four years for this competition. As long as we rehearsed well, the championship would definitely be ours. Now we're just one step away, and she wants to withdraw from the competition!"
Yun Chui stood silently for a while. Qin Lan glanced at the mirror and saw tears and deep disappointment in her eyes.
She gave up responding, gave a few brief instructions, and started packing her things. Yun Chui had always been completely open with Song Man, but this time he was clearly keeping things to himself, which made Song Man so angry that she almost fainted. She smashed the practice room to pieces on the spot.
Qin Lan had no choice but to restrain her, while Yang Xingji and Yu Jintang examined Yun Chui's arm, which had been cut by the shards.
Song Man, who was quick to speak without thinking, became sarcastic: "I told you to speak! Speak up, are you mute or pretending to be deaf? Do you think this is a competition just for you? What right do you have to withdraw from the competition? It's ridiculous, I've been practicing for several months now, and my dance partner isn't participating!"
"You are selfish, you are a traitor, you have betrayed Latin America, and you have betrayed our feelings, you—"
“You’re wrong,” Yun Chui said softly. “You love Latin more than you love me.”
"What do you mean?"
Song Man should have scolded her for being arrogant, but those words suddenly seized her heart. She was so scared that she couldn't speak, cold sweat poured down her forehead, and she had to take several breaths before she could finally say it.
“It means exactly what it says,” Yun Chui said. “You see, in your eyes, Latin is something you’re willing to do anything for. If I don’t help you achieve your dreams, you’ll even break off all ties with me, even if I tell you I still love you.”
Song Man refused to believe it, even though subconsciously she felt that Yun Chui was right about some things. But the anger of being betrayed overwhelmed everything. She told Yun Chui to get out; a deserter who had given up the competition did not deserve to appear in her most cherished practice room.
Yun Chui was disappointed, and so was Song Man. After that day, she walked home, the nanny van following anxiously behind, watching her walk, cry, and stop intermittently. Images of Yun Chui dancing with her kept flashing before her eyes—Yun Chui's gentle smile, her polite movements. That afternoon, while she was troubled by her unsuitable male partners, Yun Chui walked through the brightly lit classroom, her dance shoes lightly stepping over the checkered floor tiles, gracefully curtsied, and awaited the palm of her hand: "Aman, would you like me to be your dance partner?"
On stage, Yun Chui always wore women's clothing, yet he danced the male steps for her throughout his youth. Song Man always remembered those words that touched her heart: Yun Chui told her, "I want to take you to every stage, to show everyone that two girls can dance Latin. I can dance the male steps, no worse than anyone else, and I can dance the female steps with you. Who says it has to be one strong and one gentle? I want to lift you high above my shoulders, and together we'll raise the trophy. We'll win a standing ovation; blondes with blue eyes and black-haired, dark-skinned people will all applaud us."
She dreamed of the scenes Yun Chui had painted for her, and she wanted to lift the trophy together with Yun Chui, the person she loved most in the world.
Yun Chui had always been her only dance partner, and their dreams were intertwined. She never imagined that one day she would separate him from her future.
＊
In January, preparations began for Song Man's birthday.
A week ago, she won the national standard competition.
She plans to throw a party on her private yacht at sea and invite all her friends to attend.
A few women were sunbathing in twos and threes on the deck chairs when Yu Jintang suddenly exclaimed that it was hot, took off her coat, and jumped into the pool behind her.
Song Man stood on the deck, looking somewhat irritated.
"Happy birthday, Miss Song!" Another friend came up and hugged Song Man, saying, "Congratulations on winning the championship."
Everyone was popping champagne, swimming, or going to the spa, exchanging a few jokes with the host. The birthday boy, however, seemed a little distracted, glancing occasionally at the empty sea.
"Who wants to go jet skiing?" Song Man asked after a while.
Qin Lan is usually the first to support such activities. She immediately took off her sunglasses, stood up, and went into the cabin to change her clothes: "Let's go."
Everyone wanted to have some fun, so Yu Jintang climbed out of the pool. She wrung out the water from her hair, swam to the edge of the flying bridge, and glanced at it casually.
"Hey! Hey!" She suddenly pointed excitedly to the back of the ship and ran towards the stern hatch: "Old Song! Someone is chasing the ship!"
Everyone rushed out of the cabin.
A long trail of water was left behind the yacht, stretching far across the sea and guiding the speedboat's direction.
The speedboat was getting closer, but it was impossible to see who was inside. Everyone stared at it curiously, but Yu Jintang and the others were already looking at Song Man with barely concealed gossip in their eyes.
"It seems that some people will come to wish you a happy birthday in person even if they didn't receive an invitation."
Yu Jintang said quietly.
"Who cares!" Song Man haughtily raised her head and turned away to fiddle with the goggles in her arms. It wasn't until Yun Chui boarded the yacht and placed the gift at her feet that she understood: "Happy birthday, A-Man."
"Did I give you an invitation?" Song Man raised her head.
Yun Chui was silent for a moment, then turned around and said, "I'm leaving."
"Stop." Song Man's arrogant voice came from behind: "Did I say you could leave?"
Yang Xingji tugged at her sleeve, but Song Man flung it away. Her eyes were bloodshot, but her expression became even more arrogant: "Coming and going as you please, Miss Yun, how carefree you are! Coming to someone else's place without invitation, ruining the atmosphere, and you think you can just leave like that?"
"So, what does Ah Man want from me?"
Yun Chui turned around, her voice still calm, making Song Man wish she could slap her.
Why can someone be so calm? Why, why, why? How can she even have the nerve to wish herself a happy birthday?
"Don't call me that!" she shouted, her face contorted with rage. "Get out! Get out now!"
Yun Chui turned to leave, but when she reached the stern, she discovered that the pier had been removed, and the yacht's owner showed no intention of lowering it.
Yun Chui gave her a deep look: "What does this mean?"
"Want to leave? Swim back!" Song Man sneered.
"Ah Man! That's going too far." Qin Lan frowned and said to the crew member who was standing there dumbfounded, "Go and lower the pier."
Yu Jintang and Yang Xingji also advised, "Aman, calm down."
The crew members looked at Song Man, bewildered. Song Man roared, "No one is allowed to leave without my orders!"
Qin Lan had just taken a step towards Yun Chui when the latter leaped into the air and disappeared from sight. The group rushed over, only to see a splash of water as Yun Chui quickly surfaced and nimbly swam towards his speedboat.
A rope was lowered from the speedboat, and after a while, it carried Yun Chui away.
Song Man stared blankly at the sea, an endless weariness welling up inside her.
＊
"So why did you choose to hide it? I know that if you had a choice, you would never have let things end up like this."
On the rocks by the sea, Jiang Yan asked Yun Chui this question.
Yun Chui cut a piece of chicken sausage and teased the circling seagulls: "Oh, I was thinking that if I told her I could no longer dance because of illness, she would be very disappointed. Maybe I only have a few years left, which is the golden age of a dancer."
"But that doesn't mean you have to separate. If this is your last period of time, wouldn't you want to spend it with the person you love most? She can still participate in the competition, at most she can change her dance partner. She can spend her free time with you."
Yun Chui said quietly, "And what about me?"
"If I can't dance, I've lost the chance to pursue my dreams. Are you going to make me a caged canary, waiting for Ah Man to come home exhausted every day so I can enjoy the precious time that lasts only a dinner?"
Her voice became lifeless as she spoke, and she clutched her chest as if she couldn't breathe. Jiang Yan was terrified and frantically rummaged through her pockets, hurriedly attaching an oxygen tube to her: "Do you have any medicine?!"
Yun Chui shook his head weakly: "Lift my legs up."
Jiang Yan positioned her legs and placed them behind her to keep her at a 45° angle.
Yun Chui leaned against her silently. After a long while, Jiang Yan noticed that her purplish lips had regained some color, and finally breathed a sigh of relief: "You scared me to death! Don't say anything more, it's windy here, let's go back indoors first."
"Let me sit here for a while. I love looking at the sea; it's a place of freedom."
Yun Chui pressed her hand down, placing it in his palm as if to warm himself.
Jiang Yan took off her scarf and wrapped it around Yun Chui's face again. Under the azure sky, Yun Chui's face was so pale it was almost transparent.
Yun Chui gazed into the distance and slowly said, "You love someone unconditionally, and there has never been a near-death experience in your life that made you realize that you and she are equally precious. You are willing to be shattered to pieces for her, but some things are far more terrifying than being shattered to pieces."
She said, “If I become dull, I won’t be able to see her light, and I will no longer be worthy of her. I don’t want to live like that. In the last few years of my life, I want to have some color. I’ve trained too much in the past, and I’ve never stopped. Now I want to see the world properly. I have a private jet that can take me over to see the world’s largest glaciers; I have a luxury cruise ship that can take me across the Strait of Malacca. When I have to stop, I hope I’ll be watching the sunset over the Atlantic Ocean, or just admiring the fragrance of an unnamed flower in some corner of the world.”
"Are you going to do all this alone?" Jiang Yan said with some sadness. "Don't you want Song Man to be with you?"
"Sigh, you really should take a look at your love-struck brain." Yun Chui laughed and tapped her head: "You've lost your independence in love. It's hard to expect a good outcome if this continues."
Jiang Yan remained silent, her confusion mixed with a hint of fear.
"Actually, I understand what you mean. If I say that I don't have much time left, Aman will come to keep me company."
"But I don't want that."
Because Song Man would not willingly give up her dream, but she would be bound by morality by the sick Yun Chui.
Whenever she feels frustrated because she can't practice or compete, does that spoiled young lady ever feel even a tiny bit of resentment towards Yun Chui?
Yun Chui knows Song Man too well; she is kind-hearted by nature and will definitely give up Latin to be with him.
But Yun Chui didn't want her to give up her dreams, nor did he want A Man to feel resentful when people asked her why she gave up her career at the prime of her life.
She knew how important Latin was to Song Man.
Without Latin dance, Song Man would wither like a flower, so Yun Chui didn't blame her for her bias. In choosing to forgo the opportunity to be with Song Man and see the world, she also successfully reconciled with her own disappointment in Song Man. A person can live without another, but must never lose their own spirit.
“When you like someone, you want to be with them, but when you love someone, you also want them to shine, even if I don’t have the chance to see it.” Yun Chui chuckled softly and told Jiang Yan with great satisfaction, “I spent the first twenty-two years of my youthful and beautiful life with her, and I have no regrets.”
＊
Qin Lan didn't know why Yun Chui left three years ago, but after that incident, she finally understood that Yun Chui and Song Man were indeed talking.
She carefully recalled their relationship when they were dating, trying to learn something useful.
Although she didn't know what love was, she vaguely felt that Jiang Yan was different from her.
Before going to bed that night, Qin Lan typed in her chat box with Jiang Yan: 【Are you free tomorrow?】
Jiang Yan replied as quickly as ever: "Didn't we have to reshoot some scenes this morning?"
What about this afternoon?
Jiang Yan did the math: [It should be fine.]
I want to take you on a date.
Jiang Yan rubbed her eyes, wondering if she was seeing things.
＊
Qin Lan arrived at the film set at 10 a.m.
She didn't have many scenes to reshoot, and after filming for a while, she ran out of things to do. The crew was packing up the equipment, and many of the actors were not there.
The person being filmed is Jiang Yan; she has a few solo shots that need to be reshot.
Qin Lan walked into the director's booth, pretending to be waiting for Yu Jintang.
Yu Jintang feigned surprise and looked at her: "Wow, didn't Teacher Qin finish filming? Why are you coming in again?"
"I'll be waiting for you." Qin Lan raised her chin, not sparing Jiang Yan even a glance.
"I have so much to do, why are you waiting for me?" Yu Jintang deliberately interrupted her: "I need to pack up the equipment this afternoon, and everyone will be boarding the plane tonight. You should go back to the hotel."
Qin Lan glared at her angrily, signaling her to shut up: "I can stay wherever I want, Yu, you're getting too big for your britches now, trying to kick me out?"
Yu Jintang raised her hands: "Alright, alright, Miss Qin can go wherever she wants. It's just that everyone is busy, and you're just standing here doing nothing. Why don't you go help Teacher Jiang get into character?"
"Get into character? Get into what character?"
Qin Lan blinked reflexively, wanting to turn her head to look at Jiang Yan but holding back, and could only glare at Yu Jintang with a displeased expression.
Director Yu gave him a mocking look, as if to say, "Teacher Qin, you've been in here for so long, how come you don't even know what the next scene is? Could it be that you and Teacher Jiang have some kind of falling out?"
Everyone in the shed lowered their heads and pricked up their ears, listening intently to what was happening over there, and even evolved the ability to communicate with each other through eye contact.
[Director Yu, what do you mean by this? What do you mean by "there's some kind of grudge"? Can you call their relationship a grudge? That's hatred.]
[What do you know? Director Yu is publicly praising Teacher Qin. We need to maintain peace with Teacher Jiang on set.]
I bet ten bucks that Teacher Qin will definitely retort and roll her eyes.
I'll take 100 yuan.
Don't start a bet that's already a sure thing.
The next second, Qin Lan didn't even comment on the "grudge" at all; she just snorted and stood there.
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