Chapter 28 In the Name of Xiang Beichen (Part 2)
“Damn it!!”
Seeing the scene of Xiang Zhiyan's death, Xiang Ying and Xifeng punched the photon screen and hit the operating table hard.
This was a side of Beichen they had never seen before.
She cried like a child, was at a loss, spoke incoherently, and her eyes were full of desolation and despair - they had never seen the girl like this since they met Beichen.
No. ...Xiang Ying had seen a similar situation before, although it only lasted a few seconds.
That was the look of Beichen when he was dying, his face was ashen.
But that kind of sad and empty look that seems like the whole world is slowly collapsing, no matter how many times you see it, you will never get used to it.
No wonder Beichen was so sensitive to Xia Li who came to seek help in the Lasha Forest, and immediately revealed her true face - because the expression between her eyebrows was very similar to Jin Mingjing;
No wonder she was so heartbroken and determined to go back when she learned she was a shrine maiden—after experiencing her grandmother's death, she no longer wanted to put her family and friends in danger.
No wonder she reacted so violently when she first met Redis, as if a bloody scar had been uncovered;
No wonder, when she was trying to persuade Ling Shuang, she repeatedly emphasized that she was an ordinary person. Indeed, in the year since she left T City to live independently, she had been exhausted physically and mentally just trying to make a living.
No wonder when she was drugged with the aphrodisiac, she was so determined to ask Agard and Atlas to make a lust suppressant for her - deep down, she definitely didn't want to succumb to an object that gave her such humiliating memories.
Yes, that's why──
While she is active and cheerful, she always retains a certain rationality. While gentle and kind, she remains cautious. Occasionally, one can also see indifference and ruthlessness in her eyes.
She did what her grandmother Xiang Zhiyan said and became a hard-working, open-minded and happy person. Alone in an unfamiliar environment, she sealed her sadness into her memory, still faced the world with a smile, and used her own hands to fight for a better living environment for herself and her friends bit by bit.
Because of Xiang Zhiyan's words, she never showed weakness or asked others for help. What she asked for was always herself.
Because she "must become strong and cannot become a burden that causes suffering to her family and friends."
Xiang Ying and Xi Feng realized belatedly that even with so many people around her, sharing the immense responsibility, how much of the burden had she truly shed? How much more was weighing on her heart, unknown to them, that she had silently shouldered and endured?
Xiang Ying and Xifeng looked at each other with complicated expressions.
They are now beginning to worry about Beichen's state of consciousness - because she may be trapped in an enhanced memory fog due to the power of Pandora's Box.
Although she also remembered the happy times she had spent with them, she had only been in Senagard for three years, and in the eighteen years before that—so much had happened. She might never have spoken of these things, but that didn't mean she had forgotten them.
Only Yagard, who had already seen all of this once through the fake shell, stared at the screen expressionlessly, not knowing what he was thinking.
"Please, Mr. Gu Yinyue...Brother Gemini...and Senior Yaye..."
Xiang Ying covered her mouth and murmured softly.
"Please... please bring the master back safely."
At the same time, Gu Yinyue, Heihuo, Su Jie and Yaye are facing a tragic scene that they had not expected.
Upon entering Beichen's conscious world, the four of them were immediately separated. Consciousness interference is also a contest of consciousnesses. Strengthened by Pandora's Box, Beichen's subconscious defenses suddenly overwhelmed the four's consciousness, causing them to faint briefly.
When Yaye tried hard to shake off the lingering pressure of consciousness and wake himself up, he saw himself standing in a sea of blood. In the sea, all kinds of bloody, broken limbs and corpses were floating quietly. He carefully identified them and found that those were the bodies of the most important relatives and friends to Beichen - even including his own, Yaye's.
This is what Beichen had told him - the hallucination caused by drug addiction.
She had only seen this illusion once, but it was deeply engraved in the depths of her memory...which meant that this was what she feared most.
"What's the point of this stupid thing remembering an illusion so well?"
Yaye murmured softly, raised his sticky feet in the sea of blood, kicked away countless broken limbs and internal organs, and slowly trudged forward, following the hoarse screams coming from afar.
After a while, Yaye walked near the source of the sound.
In the sea of blood, there was a small piece of land above the water level. On it, Beichen was struggling desperately with blood and tears on her face. The shadow of Lingshuang formed in her hallucination was fishing out the crystal core with golden blood stains from the corpse of Heihuo on the side and stuffing it into Beichen's mouth.
Yaye raised his eyebrows and wanted to step forward to break the illusion, but before he took a step, someone grabbed his wrist and stopped him.
It’s another Beichen.
She was wearing a bloodstained school uniform, and her face was also covered in mud. She grabbed Yaye's wrist expressionlessly, looked up at his blood-red pupils, and then spoke quietly:
"Go and stop it, is that really okay?"
"What's the meaning?"
"This is the punishment she... and I deserve."
"Deserved? Why do you think you deserve this punishment?"
Beichen, who was wearing a school uniform, sneered, using the expression he used to describe others as he looked at himself who was being tortured and in agony by Ling Shuang on the land.
"That woman, knowing full well that she was the Crimson Moon Witch, still accepted Rui's help and your approach and support. Not only did she not distance herself from you, she also tacitly allowed you to remain by her side, even though it was unclear what was going on. That's why, in the end, she set off the farce orchestrated by Ling Shuang, dragging so many people into it. She even caused what happened to Black Disaster Su Jie. What kind of person is this? She wasn't capable of shouldering the responsibility of protecting you, so why did she provoke you? She's clearly mediocre, and without your assistance, she can't do anything, yet she takes the throne as king for granted. Don't you find it ridiculous?"
"so what?"
Yaye turned around, temporarily ignoring Beichen's wailing behind him, and stared at Beichen who was wearing a school uniform.
"Do you think this is a good way to punish yourself? In the miserable illusion created by your subconscious mind, you use the deaths of so many people to remind yourself that it is because you are so useless and yet you have offended so many relatives and friends that the future of us is shrouded in such an uneasy haze?"
"The more you get, the more you have to bear. She asked for it."
Beichen, who was wearing a school uniform, looked at himself coldly as he was suffering, then turned his gaze to look at Yaye, who was a little angry.
"A poor person never needs to lock the door, because he doesn't worry about his things being taken away or harmed. However, a wealthy person with many collections will be unable to sleep at night, worrying about his property, his lifespan, and his mistress's infidelity. It's the same. Since she has chosen to tolerate you beyond her ability, she should bear the burden of this tolerance without complaint. Moreover, if she is qualified to tolerate you, here-"
As she spoke, she pointed to the sea of blood around her.
"How could this place appear? This is the price she paid for resisting despite not having the qualifications. Not only did she hurt herself, but she also hurt others. So this is..."
"So you're a big-headed ghost."
Yaye narrowed his eyes and interrupted Beichen in school uniform impatiently. He stretched out a hand and ruffled her hair vigorously - completely ignoring her resistance.
"How broad are a person's shoulders? Trying to support a family is courageous, but trying to support a nation is foolish. Throughout history, how many emperors have managed their country independently, without relying on civil servants or military officers? Are there none? You're no different. Blaming yourself for being unable to shoulder a certain weight is completely meaningless and is simply whining and asking for trouble. 'I'm incompetent for not being able to lift a giant sword like Longyun,' 'I can't finish ten loaves of bread, yet I bought them from the store—that's simply unforgivable'—I want to ask, how is what you're accusing any of that any different from these?"
Beichen, who was in student uniform, was stunned, while Yaye bent down and wiped the blood off her face with his hand.
"Or do you think that we are just a 'burden' to you? Just 'something that needs to be protected'? Do you think that we came to you in order to be borne and protected?"
"……No……"
Beichen, who was wearing a school uniform, murmured and shook his head, with a hint of helplessness in his eyes.
"Right? On the contrary, we gathered around you to share your burden. Don't you know that?"
"But, precisely because of this, I should take it for granted that I should enjoy what you have given me, not—"
"Yes. Country, country, Elytheon is your country, and it is also your home, a family. Although every member is indispensable, there is always someone who must take on the most important position of head of household. Because everyone is gathered together because of you, you have to stand at the forefront, at the highest point. Everyone, under your protection, who can shield them from the wind and rain, and fight against the enemy, has found their own utopia."
The red-eyed Dark One revealed a rare gentle smile.
"So, this illusion isn't so much a place for you to punish yourself as it is a place for you to escape, a place where you use hurt to relieve stress, right? ...You're very tired, right?"
Beichen, who was wearing a school uniform, opened his eyes wide and took a step back as if a sore spot had been touched.
"You're tired, but because you're protecting everyone and supporting them, you absolutely can't show it, much less complain. At the same time, you believe this situation is your own fault for being greedy, so you use this method to pamper yourself, isn't that right?"
"I didn't, I didn't... No... I wouldn't..."
"You don't feel tired? You don't have regrets or want to retreat? You don't complain in your heart about standing on this cold platform, everyone is happy under your umbrella, but you have no one to rely on? Really? If not, then you are not a flesh-and-blood human being."
Beichen, who was wearing a school uniform, covered her ears and squatted down with a ferocious look on her face, as if she didn't want to listen to Yaye anymore. But Yaye also squatted down, gently hugged her in his arms, and continued to speak in her ear.
"Yes, this is probably the drawback of Senagard's customs. War weapons are always subordinate to humans. They can comfortably and without much struggle serve the same beloved masters with multiple members of the same sex. They will serve their masters wholeheartedly and help them with their worries. But at the same time, war weapons unconsciously confirm their subordinate status, taking it for granted, or even never considering it - they believe that their masters are the backbone of their group. War weapons always complain that humans don't give them enough respect, but in turn, they rarely understand that humans bear the majority of social responsibilities."
Beichen's body began to tremble, and Yaye slowly increased the strength in his hands.
"I'm sorry, I only just realized this now. It was my mistake. I was indeed just like them, peacefully enjoying the utopia you brought me. But... can you, idiot, be even more foolish?"
"What—"
"If you feel tired and overwhelmed, why don't you say it out loud? Do you think we'll blame you or look down on you if you tell us? If you just roll over and say you quit, won't we all rush over to clean up after you? Is it really necessary to go to such lengths to fight with yourself? We're not worthy of your pampering, so why do you have to come to such a bloody place to torture yourself?"
“…”
"In other words, we are still not worthy of your reliance in your heart, right?"
"No! I just don't want you to be like me... troubled by all kinds of things every day..."
"Idiot!! Troubles only become troubles when there are too many of them. If they are evenly distributed among everyone, they become just spice to spice up a boring life!"
"ah……"
"How stupid do you have to be to be willing to accept this?" Yaye kissed the corner of her mouth helplessly. "It's a good thing that you like us, but it's too stupid to spoil us to this extent. Well, occasionally torturing yourself and making yourself aware of your own shortcomings is also a form of self-motivation, which is a good thing, but if you indulge in it too much, it's a perversion. You're not that M-edged, are you?"
"This, this is not M!"
"Ha. You still don't admit it."
Yaye laughed wildly, then turned around, took out his huge sickle, and slashed hard at Ling Shuang and Bei Chen who were making miserable noises behind him!
Ling Shuang and Bei Chen, who was also enduring the ordeal, let out strange cries, and like shattered glass, they shattered into pieces that fell to the ground. Immediately afterwards, the sea of blood beneath their feet dispersed into the air like particles, beginning to dissipate—this illusory space was rapidly crumbling.
Yaye held a sickle in his hand, and amidst the flying red particles, he curled his lips at Beichen, revealing a ghostly and arrogant smile.
"I am your partner, not an ornament under your umbrella. Whatever you can do, I can do too. If you have no one by your side, I will stand by your side. Last time, you rescued me from the quagmire of the past. This time..."
He reached out his hand to Beichen, who was staring blankly at the dancing red fireflies.
"This time, let me save you."
Snap! The bright red world instantly broke into countless pieces and dissipated.
At the same time, Heihuo and Sujie looked up at the dark sky in the illusion.
"It's Yaye's aura. Did Yaye succeed?"
"Then we can't fall behind, brother, work harder!"
"oh!"
The twins were currently walking on the streets of Feinheim—somewhere on Earth.
This area was very large, and the two had been walking here for a long time, but they only saw some confusing shadows - there was Beichen accompanying his grandmother shopping, Beichen and his friends in a comic book store, Beichen worked hard and was excited to get his wages, and Beichen and Redis were chatting and dining together in a restaurant - although Heihuo Sujie was jealous, because these were probably relatively good positive responses, they did not disturb those shadows, but just watched silently for a while and then walked away.
It wasn't until they were near an alley that they heard cries made up of familiar voices.
The twins looked at each other, quickened their pace, and walked to the entrance of the alley. Then they saw Beichen, whose face was abnormally flushed, being surrounded by several ruffians who were planning on doing something bad.
Heihuo and Sujie were immediately enraged. They transformed their claws and rushed towards those people - but the moment they got close, they were violently bounced away by a burst of red light!
"What, what's going on! Damn it! Beichen, hold on a little while, we'll find a way!!"
Heihuo challenged Hongguang several times incoherently, while Sujie on the side also had a ferocious look at first, but gradually calmed down.
He grabbed the Black Plague.
"...Brother, wait, this isn't true. These are negative memories in Beichen's mind. The endings of these things have already been decided, and we can't interfere."
"But—even though it's a negative memory, it's being strengthened by Pandora's Box, look!!"
Heihuo pointed to the scene in the alley as he spoke - Beichen was roaring and struggling like a lone beast in the crowd, and then, at the last moment, a man dressed as a bad boy rushed in, led his men to knock those thugs to the ground, and then hugged Beichen in his arms, trying to comfort her.
Originally, this memory should have ended here.
But soon, the bad boys disappeared, and the thugs reappeared and held Beichen. One of them was holding a bottle of medicine and was pouring it into her mouth regardless of her resistance.
Memory—returned to the starting point of the event and played it in a continuous loop.
"Damn it, what should I do? That's why I have to find a way to intervene and break this situation!"
“Tsk.”
Heihuo shouted loudly to Beichen in the alley - of course, she couldn't hear him, and Sujie turned around and looked around, then he narrowed his eyes and pulled at the corner of Heihuo's clothes.
"Look, bro."
Heihuo heard the strangeness in Su Jie's tone, stopped yelling, and looked in the direction his eyes followed.
──Then at the other end of the alley, he saw another Beichen wearing the red and black dress she wore during the Protoss Revolution. At that moment, she was looking at herself roaring and struggling in her memory with an expressionless face.
Then she spoke softly.
"Damn it. Why do I always get rescued?"
"Beichen, what are you talking about?"
Black Fate rushed to her side and pressed her shoulders hard.
"You're the one who stopped me from getting close to them? Do you want to be abused by those wretched guys?"
"Yeah! What did you mean by that? That was your past self, right?"
Beichen, on the other hand, looked at Heihuo and Sujie with a strange expression.
"Strange, Black Plague Su Jie, why are you still helping her? Didn't she... cause you to suffer the same experience before?"
Heihuo and Sujie were stunned.
──So this is the guilt that has been hard to erase deep in her heart.
"And look."
Beichen, dressed in formal attire, showed an illusory smile and pointed behind them. Heihuo and Sujie turned around, and then found that the scene behind them had changed - it was a room that looked like a hotel. On the big bed in the room, the half-naked Xiang Ying was kissing Beichen's shoulder, while Yaye was hugging her waist, and one hand was wandering ambiguously around her lower abdomen.
"Uh, little loach." Black Disaster twitched his lips and turned his head. "I know you have a hobby of threesomes. Su Jie and I brought it up. I'm sorry. But what do you mean by showing us the scene? Are you telling us that you're a little unsatisfied?"
Su Jie also laughed evilly a few times:
"But when it comes to the level of tacit understanding, my brother and I are better, right? Look, look! Stupid Ying and Yaye bumped heads, wahahahaha!"
Beichen, who was wearing formal attire and had an expressionless face, twitched his eyebrows imperceptibly.
But she still spoke with an indifferent look on her face.
"Don't you feel sad when you see this scene? Don't you feel a pang in your heart?"
"……Well."
"this……"
The twins hesitated, their eyes darting around. ――How could they say they didn't care at all?
"Even if you pretend not to care, you'll still feel sad inside. I feel the same way. Whenever I imagine you being so intimate with other women, I feel sad and angry. ──But, I think this way about not only you, but also Xiang Ying, Ya Ye, Yin Yue... Don't you think this is unfair?"
As she spoke, she sneered at herself who was still struggling in the alley.
"Why can this woman enjoy the crowd's attention, while you have to endure this bitterness and torment in your hearts? Even you, Hei Huo and Su Jie, although you are Geminis, you are also independent individuals. Hei Huo has a bad temper, and Su Jie likes to play pranks. If she had to choose, she should choose one of you. Why should she accept you both for granted just because you are Geminis?
As a Feinheim native, you're actually imitating the ancient emperors, hugging women left and right? You've experienced what Redis felt when he was two-timing, and now you're actually throwing the same pain on you. Why are you still protecting someone like this? Wouldn't it be better to let her fall into depravity with those bastards?
Heihuo and Sujie fell silent.
They thought Beichen had long since stopped caring about this issue, as she hadn't mentioned it since she and Lingshuang parted ways. If she had just cried about it in front of them to erase her guilt and express her sincere apology, they thought it could still be resolved.
But now, they saw this scene deep in her heart.
She smiled at them, trying hard and doing her best to give them happiness and warmth, without saying a word that she was sorry for them. But deep in her heart, she repeatedly rebuked her greed, even mocking and cursing herself.
If they had not entered her heart because of this accident, would she have held on to this idea for the rest of her life, smiling at them while her heart was immersed in self-criticism and self-torture?
They had not imagined that she would love them so deeply that she even put herself in their shoes and imagined all the pain they were enduring, and then hated herself because of this love.
"...You've given away all your love, so you can't love yourself anymore?"
Black Disaster stared at her mocking expression and spoke in a hoarse voice. But Beichen did not answer.
"You've even imagined our feelings. Doesn't that mean we have nothing to do?"
Su Jie held her face in his hands and stared into her pupils, but he only saw darkness.
So the twins continued to speak.
"So what do you hope for? If one person stays and the others go away, will your heart be free? Will your guilt be gone?"
“…”
"No way? Who should you keep? Who should you send away? The person you send away won't feel heartbroken and sad because of your rejection—maybe even hate you for it? Then, how will you blame yourself? Will you say, 'This woman only wants to maintain a moral high ground and feel superior because of her loyalty. So even if she provokes someone, she will cruelly abandon them without regard for their feelings. What's the value of protecting such a woman?'"
"……I."
"You're not Xiang Beichen." Black Disaster reached out and touched her face with a slightly sad expression. "At least, you're not the complete her. ... You're just her negative thoughts, isolated and isolated due to the enhanced effect of Pandora's Box."
"Of course I am Xiang Beichen!"
Beichen, dressed in formal attire, waved his hand in anger and pushed Heihuo's hand away.
"This is my true thought, you just didn't see it! So, are you disappointed?! In my heart, I'm the kind of person who regrets after doing this, who hesitates and feels sorry for himself!!"
"No, you're not."
Su Jie interrupted her firmly, then he held her face and turned her gaze away.
There, there is another portrait.
──Yes, since it is the so-called "consciousness interference", then naturally I have to use the images in my memory to convince Beichen in front of me.
In the picture, Beichen stood in front of a huge crystal monument, with his right hand raised high, showing a king's smile to the crowd below.
"Until the last moment of our lives, we will strive to survive, fight tirelessly, remain cautious, always maintain tenderness and cruelty, always balance humanity and wildness, always enjoy freedom, always pursue happiness - never betray, never retreat, never give up, never give up easily!!"
Her voice, with both wildness and tenderness, gradually floated away amid the deafening cheers.
In the picture, she was in high spirits, with a defiant and confident look in her eyes. After she finished speaking, her gaze swept over the people standing around her - Gemini, Yaye, Xifeng, Gu Yinyue, Yagard, and Atlas. Her dark pupils were full of tenderness, joy, and yearning for the future.
"See?"
Black Disaster gently hugged her shoulders from behind.
"This is the look in Xiang Beichen's eyes. Because she loves us, she used her own hands to build our own home. Because she loves the War Machine race, she worked hard to reconcile the relationship between humans and War Machines during the Protoss Revolution. Because she loves Senagard, even as a priestess, she never succumbs to her mission. Her love is warm and broad, embracing all rivers without being diluted - how could someone with eyes like this be someone who only cares about self-pity?"
"Yes." Looking at Beichen in the picture, Su Jie chuckled, "How could a woman who repeatedly emphasizes 'survival' not love herself? Because she knows that, for her, protecting herself is protecting the feelings of her loved ones. Even if it's just to relieve the worries of those around her, she will adjust her mood. Otherwise, how could she attract so many people to stand by her side."
“No, no, no!!”
Beichen, dressed in formal attire, broke free from Heihuo's embrace, took a few steps back, and grabbed his hair in confusion.
"Xiang Beichen is not a woman worth entrusting your life to! She is greedy and selfish, disregarding your feelings. She has shouldered the burden but cannot bear it. She is not worthy of you!"
"Why not?"
Just when Heihuo was about to refute, another voice sounded - Gemini turned around in surprise, only to find that Beichen, who was in the alley, had knocked those thugs to the ground with a bloody face, and was walking towards the three of them step by step.
Beichen, in formal attire, had a ferocious expression on his face, but Beichen, in school uniform, walked calmly to the wall of red light, raised his fist, and smashed it down fiercely!
clang!!
The red light let out a shrill scream, and Beichen in formal attire curled up in pain.
"Don't express your thoughts on my behalf in front of Black Plague Su Jie!"
Beichen punched the red light again.
"Ah, that's right!! Sometimes, I do think that way, and I do feel guilty about it, but if I kept thinking about it all day, I would have died of depression long ago!"
Another punch!
"Is this even that important?! If you're worried you'll get more than you put in, then why not just increase your pay several times over?!"
Another punch!!
"Even taking a step back, I'm so busy with all sorts of things every day, worrying about the witch, Senagard, and Elysion. I even have to count seconds to fart, so what if I have a few more handsome men to keep me company? It's not fair! Do I necessarily like less than those who are loyal to one person?! It's just that I don't have enough time! I've even been labeled a 3P demon, what else do you want? Fuck you!"
Beichen in formal attire kept twisting his body and screaming as he retreated under the attack, his figure gradually becoming thinner.
As Beichen spoke, Heihuo and Sujie showed ecstatic smiles on their faces - then, they took two steps at a time and walked to the opposite side of the real Beichen. They raised their fists at the same time and punched the red light hard together with Beichen!
"As expected of our little loach! He looks like a real villain when he gets tough!"
"We must have infected her. What a shame! She wanted to be a hero and save the beauty, but she ended up kicking the thug out herself."
"No, you saved me."
Beichen, who was standing opposite the red light, smiled at them.
"I was once buried in negative thoughts. But when I was surrounded by self-loathing, I heard your voices. And then I remembered my grandmother's words."
clang!!
The fists of the three people were concentrated at one point at the same time, and the red light began to slowly dissipate.
"How can I love someone else if I don't love myself? Thank you for coming to pick me up, Black Disaster and Su Jie."
The Red Moon Priestess kissed the ring on her finger and raised her fist towards the red light for the last time - then together with the Black Disaster and Su Jie on the opposite side, they put all their strength into smashing it down!
Snap! Another phantom's shattering sound rang out.
Gu Yinyue turned his head slightly, then turned back and reached out to wipe the rain off his face.
On the dim street, heavy rain was pouring down from the sky. In front of him, there were two Beichen and two corpses.
One Beichen, dressed in school uniform, was holding Xiang Zhiyan's body and crying non-stop. Another Beichen, dressed in white combat uniform, was holding Xiang Ying's body with a deathly pale face, his expression dull and motionless.
He spoke to her several times, but it seemed that his voice could not reach her ears at all.
This was perhaps the most tragic memory in her life, a shadow that could never be erased. The heartbreaking pain of losing her loved ones, repeatedly reinforced, lingered in her consciousness, imprisoning her thoughts and blocking her response to the outside world.
How can I make her aware of my presence?
The rain was still pouring down like crazy, and the lightning and thunder overhead occasionally illuminated the ground beneath their feet, making the faces of the two Beichens in front of them even paler.
Gu Yinyue first walked to Beichen who was holding Xiang Zhiyan and shook her shoulders, but she didn't notice Gu Yinyue at all. She was still covering the wound on Xiang Zhiyan's waist with snot and tears, and talking incoherently.
He then walked to Beichen who was holding Xiang Ying and pulled her arm, but she was still like a puppet, just staring at Xiang Ying in her arms, who was covered in blood and had her eyes closed.
No, it seems that the infinitely intensified sadness has completely isolated her from normal thinking.
Her brain wouldn't be able to bear it if this continued.
Gu Yinyue thought for a while, stretched out his hand, and a huge red sword - the Longyun he imagined - appeared in his hand.
So be it, since it is within the "consciousness", it might be okay to use a strong dose of medicine.
"Beichen... For you, what's important are those who have left, not those who are still by your side?"
He spoke softly, raised the Longyun, aimed it at his left arm, and then chopped it down fiercely! !
With a sound of flesh and blood being torn apart, Gu Yinyue's left arm fell to the ground in the spurting blood. The blood droplets sprayed out like rain under the blood pressure and splashed on Beichen's face.
"Are you sad only when they leave you? Do you isolate yourself in a separate world of grief for the dead, or do you try to save the living as much as possible?"
Beichen's shoulders, who were holding Xiangying, moved slightly.
"I'm about to die. Are you going to come and save me, or are you going to sit here and stare blankly at my body after I die?"
Beichen, holding Xiang Zhiyan, stopped crying.
"The dead, no matter how sad you are, will not come back. I don't object to you keeping these memories in your mind, because it shows that you value the dead."
Gu Yinyue took a step forward, then half-knelt on the ground because he lost his balance due to the loss of his left arm.
"But do these people really want you to be lost in the past? Since you love them so much, what they want is for you to turn your head, look to the future, and move forward. What's more, "
Gu Yinyue's voice suddenly became louder.
"Xiang Ying is still alive!! No matter how unforgettable this memory is, don't let the misleading memory forget the most important result! He is still alive and waiting for you to come back!!"
Following these words, Beichen, who was holding Xiang Ying, suddenly paused, then raised his head, his expression becoming clear.
She turned around and saw Gu Yinyue with a broken arm. Her face changed and she ran to him anxiously and hugged him.
"Ginyue!? What happened to your hand!?"
Seeing Beichen's anxious look that was almost about to cry, Gu Yinyue chuckled. The gentle smile composed of his stern and cold facial features was so lethal that it easily made Beichen, who was still in a daze, blush.
"My hand is fine."
As he spoke, he shook his shoulder, and his left hand, which was just spurting blood, reappeared on the broken surface.
Then he coughed lightly and gently hugged Beichen in his arms.
"It seems that you still care about me very much. I thought that after saying that... you would immediately turn around and look for Xiang Ying."
"Well, of course I care. ...Don't scare me again. What's with this deception?"
"This is in your consciousness, not the real world."
"Don't even think about it!! I don't want to see Yin Yue with broken arms and legs!"
Gu Yinyue was silent for a few seconds, then curled his lips slightly:
"good."
"So……"
Beichen in his arms looked up, and suddenly noticed that there was another person nearby.
After exchanging glances, the two walked towards the other Beichen, but after taking a few steps, the surrounding scenery suddenly changed, from a rainy street to a dilapidated land full of smoke.
There were corpses everywhere.
The corpses of people, weapons, possessed moon messengers, and violent iron ghosts piled up layer upon layer, filling the entire field of vision. Not far away, Beichen, dressed in school uniform, was still sitting there holding Xiang Zhiyan.
"here it is?"
"...It's my negative consciousness that imagined... the scene after the great disaster."
Beichen frowned and looked at his other self.
Sure enough, not long after, the other Beichen turned around.
"If one person dies, I can be sad and cry. If a hundred people die, I will feel grief and pity. But what about 110,000, or even 100 million?"
She let go of Xiang Zhiyan's body, turned to face the two of them, and opened her arms.
"If I die, Sumo will use Pandora's Box to create a new witch, and this is the future of this world. No one will be spared, and only one million people can be saved."
Gu Yinyue narrowed his eyes.
"Are you afraid of such a future?"
Beichen on the opposite side lowered his head.
"I can't defeat Su Mo. The power and awareness I possess are still too small, too little. I'm just an ordinary person. No matter how hard I try, I'll only be an ordinary person who's doing slightly better. I can't compete with Su Mo, the destroyer with ten thousand years of memory. I... I can't beat him."
"So you're planning to hide here? Not only yourself, but you're also planning to hide from me and my entire consciousness as well?"
Beichen, who was beside Gu Yinyue, spoke in a cold voice - but Gu Yinyue shook his head at her and stopped her from moving forward.
"Don't be so quick to deny yourself, Beichen. Even if it's a negative consciousness, it comes from your subconscious mind. It's necessary for it to exist."
"Yin Yue?"
"Let me speak. ... I am a candidate for the son-in-law of Queen Elysion. It is my duty and obligation to advise the king."
Beichen was stunned, then nodded to him seriously.
"Well, go ahead."
Then, Gu Yinyue walked up to the other Beichen.
"You're not dead yet. But if you plan to keep running away or dwell on your inferiority, then you'll be dead. The Red Moon Priestess might actually be replaced, and people might actually die en masse—the illusions around here will become reality."
"Not dead? But..."
"Do you think we will let you go?" Gu Yinyue reached out and touched her head.
"When facing a powerful enemy, being timid is a good thing. It increases your chances of survival. However, if you are simply timid without considering how to counterattack, you will ultimately die. You know this."
He took the hand of the other Beichen.
Then, under the intervention of his consciousness, the student uniform on the other Beichen also turned into a white combat uniform.
"You were the swift-killing White Shadow who dominated the arena until the very end. You were the Spiritual Martial Si who, in your first encounter with me, withstood so many of my attacks with the unpromoted Xiang Ying—you defeated the rabid dog Glen She. You and I are of the same kind. Have you forgotten the excitement and fighting spirit that burns when facing a formidable foe?"
As he spoke, he raised his hand, and at some point, hazy clouds appeared in his hand again.
"Have you forgotten this excitement that allows you to abandon all worries, makes your blood boil and purify? You are the queen of the wasteland, your palace is built on the nest of insects. You never reject crises and battles, nor do you reject the opportunities they bring you to become stronger."
"……I……"
Beichen raised her hand in confusion, and a black and white hook appeared on her hand, and on her head she wore an iron helmet that symbolized the quick-killing white shadow.
The place where the two were became the arena of the Kingdom of Latia.
"Do you need me to help you remember this? This feeling?"
Gu Yinyue asked quietly, while Beichen remained silent.
After a long while, she spoke again:
"I'm not dead."
"No."
"Su Mo... can he really win?"
"...As long as you want, as long as we all fight to the last breath, there's nothing to blame ourselves for even if we fail."
“But I don’t want to see that kind of future.”
"Then go and prevent the birth of a true miko. Have you forgotten what I told you? ...You must be strong enough...to control the red moon in return."
"…Is it really possible?"
"You have created countless miracles. Don't be so self-deprecating."
"Really?"
"Really. Let's go back and finish the unfinished miracle..."
"No."
Beichen smiled bitterly and shook his head.
"The one you should take away is me over there. I won't hinder you anymore. I'll watch from here—"
As she spoke, her figure gradually faded.
"I want to see a different future the next time I wake up. ...Please."
"good."
Gu Yinyue took a deep breath, walked to the original Beichen, was silent for a few seconds, then smiled and stretched out his hand to her.
"...Go back. Everyone is waiting for you."
"Yeah... Let's go back."
Bai Ying and Yin Yue held hands together, and disappeared on the spot amid the roar of the gradual collapse of the fantasy around them.
At the same time, in the middle of the huge cocoon, Beichen's eyelids, floating in red light, moved slightly.
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