Chapter 374 Greed
But no matter how hard she tried to pursue him, he always ignored her.
If the initial liking only starts with appearance and is superficial, then in the process of pursuit, liking will slowly turn into love and obsession. The more he ignores her, the more she will be obsessed with him.
Li Yuexue often wondered if she had a masochistic personality, as she had so many excellent suitors and was desperately in love with a useless iron tree.
It was not until later that she realized that he was not a hard-core tree that would not bloom, he just didn't like her. He had someone he liked, and he liked her very much, and that person was called Xu Qingsui.
The moment she knew Xu Qingsui existed, her world seemed to have collapsed. She knew that no matter how hard she tried, she would never get Qin Fang again.
At that moment, her heart seemed to be dead. Even though her family was wealthy and she could get everything she wanted, she couldn't get the person she liked. For the first time, she felt so useless and ordinary. All the halos that her life experience had bestowed on her were eclipsed. This was what it meant to fall from the altar.
Fortunately, God blesses her and things take a turn for the better. She learns that Qin Fang likes Xu Qingsui, but Xu Qingsui does not like him. Not only does she have someone she likes, but she also has a child with that person.
In Qin Fang, she saw an unyielding spirit and an unwavering attitude towards feelings, and she deeply admired him.
He is unwilling to let go of the person he likes, so why should she let go easily?
You don't necessarily have to get what you like. If you can be with him, it would be a kind of happiness.
Grandpa saw through her thoughts and was very optimistic about Qin Fang's ability and character. In order to fulfill her infatuation, she made a marriage contract with Qin Fang's grandfather.
God knows how happy she was when she knew Qin Fang became her fiancé.
But compared to her happiness, he looked sad and miserable.
Seeing that he was unhappy, all her joy seemed to disappear. She told him that they were just partners and if one day he had a legitimate girlfriend or wife, she would disappear on her own initiative and never bother him again.
At that time, Grandpa Qin was ill and the entire Qin family was in chaos. In order to compete with Qin Wei for the position of the head of the Qin family, he had no choice but to agree to her request. From then on, she stayed by his side as his fiancée with full justification.
Although she knew that he had someone he liked in his heart, she was not discouraged because she firmly believed that water dripping would wear away a stone. One day, he would be influenced by her and fall in love with her little by little, as long as she worked hard enough and as long as they were together long enough...
But the longer they were together, the less confidence she had. Every day she was with him, she found that her joys and sorrows were closely related to him, but his joys and sorrows had nothing to do with her.
She could accept such a gap for one or two days, but she couldn't accept it for a long time.
Love makes people greedy. She is no longer satisfied with just being by his side. She wants to enter his heart and be the one who shares his joys and sorrows.
But it was precisely because of this greed that she became increasingly dissatisfied, to the point that she ignored the change in his attitude towards her.
Now that I think about it carefully, I realize that his attitude towards me now is really different from what it was at the beginning.
When she realized this, her depressed mood suddenly became cheerful.
But after being happy, she couldn't help but feel sad and miserable for herself.
As he said, he was just used to having him around.
That's all.
Habit and liking are different. Thinking back to the beginning, she just wanted to stay with him openly. Now that she finally got what she wanted, why did she feel even sadder after a brief moment of happiness?
Because she discovered to her horror that she greedily wanted to replace Xu Qingsui's position in Qin Fang's heart.
She wanted Qin Fang to like her as much as she liked him.
"Brother Qin Fang, do you like me? Even just a little bit?" Li Yuexue raised her head and asked him seriously, "I'm not talking about the love between friends, not the love between relatives, but the love between men and women, just like... the love you have for Sister Xu, do you have it?"
Qin Fang was stunned. He seemed to have never thought about this question before.
Because he had never thought that he would fall in love with another woman besides Xu Qingsui.
His love for Xu Qingsui has penetrated deep into his bones and has become an obsession.
So what kind of feelings does he have for Li Yuexue?
Do you really just regard him as a friend who shares weal and woe, sister?
Seeing Qin Fang's silence, the answer was obvious.
Everything was as expected, so why did she still feel sad?
"It's okay, Brother Qin Fang. I still say the same thing. Liking you is my business. You must not feel any psychological burden. Just be yourself. I just hope you can be happy. As for me..."
She lowered her head and thought for a moment: "I will slowly learn to stay away from your life and slowly return to my own world."
Liking someone is too painful, and she can't bear to wait without hope.
Qin Fang panicked immediately. He held his breath and asked carefully, "Do you mean that from now on, you are going to give up on me?"
"Brother Qin Fang, do you know what I admire most about you?" Li Yuexue suppressed her sadness and smiled sweetly, just like when they first met.
Qin Fang shook his head. Only now did he realize that he had never understood her and had never thought about understanding her.
What she likes, what she dislikes, what she thinks, what she likes about herself... I know nothing.
"What I admire most about you is your persistence. You give without asking for anything in return for the one you love. But I can't do that. I can't bear the pain of loss."
"I am by your side every day, but I can never catch you. You are so close to me, yet so far away from me. Brother Qin Fang, I will always like you, but I am not as brave as you."
After saying this, Li Yuexue burst into tears.
Giving up this decision would cost her half her life.
But what can I do if I don’t give up? She was too greedy. If she continued to stay with him, she was afraid that one day she would not be able to control her possessiveness and would do anything to get him. She was even more afraid of becoming someone he hated.
Thinking of what that person said to her and the conditions for cooperation he proposed, Li Yuexue was really scared.
At least he didn't hate himself for leaving now.
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