twenty two
All three of them were still terrified, but they forced composure on their faces. Everything that happened last night was too much, too fast. Shen Tu Hai's previous target was Wei Dahe, and he only wanted to avenge his friend, without considering what to do next. Zhuang Xiaodie had asked this question when trying to dissuade her, but Shen Tu Hai had only suspected her of being Wei Dahe's accomplice and ignored her.
The two adults went to wash the car. Shen Tu Hai wanted to follow, but was refused. Shen Tu Hai didn't argue, almost immediately guessing that they were leaving. She had been eavesdropping on their conversation, trying every possible means to detain Zhuang Xiaodie, testing whether she was really Wei Dahe's accomplice. Now the truth was revealed, although she still believed that Zhuang Xiaodie was hiding something from her - Zhuang Xiaodie looked strange last night when she buried the body.
After all, he had killed someone now, which was different from the people and things he had done in the past. Or maybe it was because he was thinking about his deceased father. These could explain Zhuang Xiaodie's strange behavior.
Shentu Hai watched Zhuang Xiaodie and Nian Jinsi drive off. She didn't get in a car. Unsure where to go, she wandered aimlessly. The sun was already high in the sky. It was a weekday, so the streets were sparsely populated. The occasional passerby, like shadows, flitted by, but she couldn't feel them at all. The wind blew softly, like fingertips skimming the water. She suddenly thought of Su Shi's poem: "The wind is as fine as water, and the scenery is boundless and clear."
Unfortunately, it was broad daylight. Even if last night's rain had cleared the clouds and the sky was clear, the scenery wasn't endless. Shentu Hai smelled the fishy scent of water, stopped, and looked to his left—across the street was the river. It was near the spot where the police speculated Wei Yuling had jumped, and also under the bridge where Zhuang Xiaodie had been lying flat on her back.
At this moment, a person sat under the bridge. Shentu Hai felt vaguely that this person looked familiar, and before his brain could form a judgment, he had already raised his leg and walked over.
As she got closer, she saw the fishing rod standing next to her, and suddenly realized who she was. This was the person who had once sat there fishing at four in the morning, the person who had once given her a fish.
The one who persuaded her to go back.
Suddenly, she realized what she had done. She had killed Wei Yuling's murderer, Wei Dahe, his biological father. Although she still believed he deserved death, she had killed him. Not only had she killed him, but she had also, in a rage, chopped him into pieces and carried him downstairs like pork.
The words Zhuang Xiaodie once said were turning in her brain like gears, making her head ache.
I killed someone. She watched the fisherman from a distance.
This person, who initially thought she was going to jump into the river, spoke to her, gave her fish, and sent her back because he wanted her to live. An ordinary, kind-hearted person. Perhaps just like the day Zhuang Xiaodie handed her the steamed bun.
Shentu Hai had already crossed the street and was standing at the edge of the steps. When she saw the water, she suddenly stopped. She didn't want to go. What did Wei Yuling feel like in the river? She kept thinking about it. She did think about jumping in the river and feeling Wei Yuling's pain before his death. She still couldn't accept his death.
Until yesterday, when she chopped off Wei Dahe's head with a bone-chopping knife and stared at his slightly opened eyes, she still wondered what Wei Yuling's expression would be. She was afraid she would forget him. How could she forget him? That was Wei Yuling.
She had originally thought that as long as she completed this task, no matter what happened next, it wouldn't matter. But when she saw the fisherman, she truly realized that by killing someone, she had embarked on a different path. Zhuang Xiaodie asked, "What happens after killing someone? Have you ever thought about what to do after that?"
In fact, she hadn't thought about it, not at all. In fact, it wasn't until this moment, when she saw the fisherman hiding in the shade, that she finally realized what had happened last night.
Even though the sun was shining brightly, everything seemed to be a different world. Even her fingers could still remember the touch of Wei Dahe's body. Warm at first, then gradually cooled and became stiff.
She was now as stiff as a corpse.
However, perhaps because he had been standing there for too long, the person in the distance seemed to sense something, moved, and turned around.
In a moment, Shentu Hai realized that the other party had recognized her, just as she had recognized him at first sight. She immediately wanted to turn around and leave, but the fisherman called out, and when she looked over, he waved at her.
As if possessed by some mysterious force, Shentu Hai stepped down the stairs and walked towards the other party.
"Are you on vacation?" The fisherman, wearing a hat and sun-protective clothing, was practically fully armed. His fishing rod was propped up by the side, his hook dangling in the water, presumably waiting for a bite. There was a small box and a bucket nearby. Shentu Hai leaned in to take a closer look; they were empty.
"Where are the fish?" Shentu Hai said.
"They were all eaten by the wild cats nearby." The fisherman raised his chin to the side as he spoke. Shentu Hai looked over and found a tabby cat lying in the flowers, dozing with its eyes closed.
"Thank you for the fish last time." Shentu Hai said,
“Oh, is it delicious?”
Hearing this, Shentu Hai recalled the whole thing very carefully, from the fish's struggle along the way, to the blood oozing out when it was cut open, to the fishy smell that filled the room, and the fish on the plate.
"Very fine and fresh," Shentu Hai said, "but a little too bony." "River fish have a lot of bony bones," the fisherman said, waving his hand casually. "But the meat is tender and smooth, and it's delicious even steamed without any other ingredients."
"All the fish was given to the cat. What are you going to eat when you get home?"
"Let's go to the market to buy vegetables."
Shentu Hai hesitated for a moment, but ultimately did not ask the question in his mind.
The fisherman narrowed his eyes and turned his head to look at the river: "I'm not fishing for the sake of fishing. I just like sitting here and looking at the river."
"What does that feel like?"
"You'll know if you take a look."
Shentu Hai then looked out at the river, where sunlight shone on the water, swimming like fish. She took a deep breath. She had thought that standing by the river would remind her of Wei Yuling, her death, and hatred etched deep in her heart. She had indeed felt that way before. Yet, at this moment, she felt strangely calm. It was as if her heart had been immersed in the water, becoming crystal clear. Perhaps it was because Wei Dahe was already dead. She clenched her fists loosely and said softly, "Yes."
I will never forget you. She promised Wei Yuling in her heart.
The wind blew, and the leaves rustled. Shentu Hai felt that it was time for him to leave, so he turned around and left without saying goodbye.
Shentu Hai had a premonition.
The neighborhood remained much the same as before, old men and women playing chess, chatting. She returned home and flung the door wide. The faint smell of blood still hung in the air, a scent that would take time to dissipate. Silence reigned. She first went to the bathroom and kitchen, but they were both empty. Returning to the living room, she exhaled, her peripheral vision noticing a new addition to the coffee table: air freshener and a note.
The note was a little wrinkled and was pressed at the bottom of the air freshener can.
Shentu Hai's heart was pounding. She didn't immediately read what was written on it, but ran to the bedroom. Just as she had expected, everything about Zhuang Xiaodie and Nian Jinsi had completely disappeared, as if they had never appeared.
There is nothing left.
Shentu Hai walked slowly back to the living room, his footsteps amplified by the silence, grinding against her. She sat down on the sofa and picked up the note.
It was just two short lines, written in a sloppy hand. She had no idea whose handwriting it was. There was no signature.
Shentu Hai stood up and dragged her feet to the refrigerator to get a drink. As soon as she opened the refrigerator door, she was stunned.
——There was a box of dumplings on the top shelf. She took it out, opened the lid, and recognized it as the shop where Zhuang Xiaodie often brought dumplings back.
A feeling of being in another world suddenly came over her, and tears fell unexpectedly. She hurriedly raised her hand to wipe them away.
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