Dreamer
A pair of bony white fingers pushed a glass of orange juice towards me.
A sip of the sweet and sour refreshing juice with ice cubes was very refreshing in this hot summer. Jiang Qing bit the straw, tilted her head, and said nothing.
Black hair covered Lin Nanyan's deep eyes. He lowered his eyes and stared at the juice in his hand, studying something. A closer look revealed that his eyes were out of focus and seemed to be distracted.
"Was what you said before true?" The boy asked softly after a long time.
"Which sentence?" she asked with a smile.
At this time, Jiang Qing was the most relaxed one. In the end, no one would remember what she said, so there was no need to hide it. She could just say whatever she wanted to say. It didn't matter even if no one believed her.
Just think of her as crazy.
"You don't want to see me right now."
"When did I say..."
Jiang Qing retorted subconsciously, but suddenly stopped talking mid-sentence.
She remembered the day of the parent-teacher meeting, when she blurted out the words out of anger: "I don't want to see you now."
She originally thought that Lin Nanyan would ask her about time travel, or what that nine-year dream was all about. At the very least, he could just test whether she had a fever.
I never expected that the first thing he asked was this.
"How should I say it?" Jiang Qing stirred the cup with a straw, wondering whether she should make up a white lie.
“That’s exactly what I thought that day,” she said finally.
"At that moment, I sincerely didn't want to see you."
After the girl's blunt and almost cruel words fell, Lin Nanyan's hands clenched suddenly, and he no longer had the calm demeanor he had when fighting before.
Jiang Qing turned her head to look at the pale and fragile Lin Nanyan. She thought distractedly that it turned out that her influence on Lin Nanyan at this moment seemed to be a little more than she thought.
But they will eventually grow up and embark on the road of separation.
Looking back many years later, everything has changed.
The friendship between young people becomes more and more precious.
"I know you were doing this for my own good. That day you told me to do whatever I wanted. In fact, you have always supported me. I know that."
"I'm very grateful for what you said," Jiang Qing met Lin Nanyan's gaze and smiled, "You really mean it."
"I'm just not used to it," she avoided Lin Nanyan's sight, "I'm not used to us being strangers for so many years, and then looking back, I find that you, my childhood self, are still standing there waiting for me."
She looked at the bustling crowd outside the window. Everyone looked different, yet similar.
People’s lives are always on the road of gaining, losing, gaining, and losing again.
She had it once, and then lost it unexpectedly.
Then she returned to the present world where she once thought she could start over. She didn't want to indulge herself in false fantasies again, gaining and losing again.
At that moment, sharp anger swept through her mind, which was why she said such hurtful words, but——
She regretted it the moment she said it. Looking at the boy's red eyes, she thought, there was nothing wrong with him when he was young, and there was nothing wrong with her now. What was wrong was the misaligned time between them.
Later, it was not only for Song Yao, but also for her own selfish reasons.
She chose to unwillingly return to this false timeline, wanting to figure out what had happened.
Jiang Qing just wanted to get out of the shadow that had been following her like a shadow until now and give herself an explanation, that's all.
"We grew up together, and then you left me and ran away. I don't understand, and I tried to find excuses for you."
The ice cubes in the cup collided with the glass, making a crisp sound, just like Jiang Qing's clear voice now.
For a moment, Lin Nanyan felt that Jiang Qing seemed very far away from him, separated by mountains and rivers, time, and many things he didn't know.
"At least, I think it's not too much to ask for you to say goodbye to me properly before we part, right?"
Jiang Qing turned around and smiled at him. Although she was smiling, Lin Nanyan clearly saw the anger, confusion, regret, and... sadness hidden in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"I don't need your apology," Jiang Qing shrugged, pretending to be relaxed: "Like I said before, I forgive you now."
"But this doesn't mean that I forgive your future self," she winked at him playfully. "At least, you should be patient until the future arrives."
"Shouldn't I take my anger out on you a little?"
"Yes." Lin Nanyan followed her words and cooperated with her to ease the overly heavy atmosphere between the two of them.
He cut the strawberry-studded cake, put a fork on it, handed it over, and joked, "Thank you, Ms. Jiang Jiang, for giving me the opportunity to make amends. I will cherish it."
The aroma of cream filled her nose, and the smooth texture filled her mouth. Jiang Qing squinted her eyes happily. "Not bad, you have such a service spirit. Ms. Jiang Jiang appreciates you."
As night gradually fell, the lights outside the window gradually lit up one by one. Jiang Qing and Lin Nanyan sat side by side, looking at the lights outside the window and enjoying the rare quiet time.
The indoor lights shone on the glass, reflecting two young faces. The girl was holding her chin, and the boy's eyes were on the person next to him.
The warm yellow light cast a warm hue over the two of them, and the air was filled with the aroma of sticky desserts.
After a long time, the shadow on the glass moved: "Why are you looking at me? Look outside."
"Yeah." The boy obediently turned outside, towards the river reflecting the colorful colors, but his eyes still inadvertently fell on the girl beside him, like a dragonfly skimming the water.
When the wind blows, the treetops make a humming sound, as if they are telling something.
Jiang Qing was jumping in front, and Lin Nanyan followed the girl's shadow step by step towards the unknown road.
Time flies, if only time could stop at this moment...
I took out my key, and the light bulb in the corridor cast a small light in the dark doorway.
His hand was on the door handle. Before he could turn around and say anything, Jiang Qing pushed him in. The girl squeezed in by herself and closed the door behind her.
Without the light outside the corridor, the room was plunged into darkness.
"What are you standing there for? Turn on the light."
"Well," the boy's deep voice sounded, "Stand here and don't move."
After Jiang Qing's eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could vaguely see the other person's back gradually walking away, becoming clearer and clearer.
“Pah—”
A beam of orange-red flame lit up in the darkness, which was the sound of a lighter lighting a candle.
"There seems to be something wrong with the meter. I'll go downstairs and take a look. Please sit down for a while."
Lin Nanyan placed the burning candle on the coffee table. Just as he was about to move, a small hand grabbed the corner of his clothes tightly, and he was frozen in place.
"Forget it, I'll be leaving soon, you sit down first."
The girl casually pushed him onto the sofa, his eyes following her back as she ran away with the candle flickering, and the living room fell into darkness again.
Soon, the girl's glowing cheeks reappeared, holding the familiar medicine box in her hands.
Jiang Qing walked over and put down the medicine box and candle. She couldn't see Lin Nanyan's expression in the dim light, but she didn't care.
He walked forward, kicked away Lin Nanyan's long legs that were in the way, squeezed to his other side, and lifted up the boy's shirt.
The boy had a very narrow waist, and the dim firelight shone on it, illuminating his smooth lines and flat, firm abdomen.
The thin muscles were rising and falling slightly with the boy's breathing, and the mermaid lines on both sides meandered down along the abdominal muscles and disappeared deep into the waistband of the pants.
Jiang Qing's gaze fell on the glaring blue color reflected on the boy's smooth abdomen.
"Look at you, just act. Why are you just standing there like an idiot getting beaten?"
She grumbled in dissatisfaction and opened the medicine cabinet to look for ointment to treat the external injuries.
Lin Nanyan said nothing and was very obedient. He watched the girl's movements quietly.
Jiang Qing tore open the new package, squeezed the ointment onto her fingers, and then applied it to Lin Nanyan's abdomen, circling in circles, and in the middle, she did not forget to poke his wound hard.
The muscles under his hands suddenly tensed and became hard.
"I was wondering why it seemed so wrong the more I thought about it. You're really hurt, right? You should feel some pain."
In the darkness, she didn't look up, only hearing Lin Nanyan's vague voice above her head: "I'll be more careful next time."
Jiang Qing poked his hard muscle, "You better be."
She kept moving, hesitating about how to put it. After a long time, she realized that Lin Nanyan was also unusually quiet, and she didn't know what he was thinking.
"I told you I came from nine years later, do you believe it?" she asked softly.
"Yeah." The boy replied quickly, his breathing seemed a little unstable. He said it as a matter of course without thinking.
Jiang Qing didn't ask him whether he believed it or not. Anyway, if Lin Nanyan said such words to her, she would definitely think that he was confused due to fever.
She didn't care and just kept saying what she wanted to say.
"I actually went back to the original timeline," Jiang Qing raised her eyes, "just today."
"I originally thought I had traveled to the past and that I could change the past, but I discovered that this was not the case."
The warmth of the boy's skin gradually permeated her fingertips. She drew circles unconsciously and thought.
"I went back, but no one knew about my existence. The class teacher said there was no such person as Chen Heng in our class, and Meiyan said she had never been to my house during high school."
"I feel like I'm trapped in a false dream. I'm sure it's not a dream, but I often wonder if there's something wrong with my mind."
Although Jiang Qing has always behaved like a normal person, communicating normally and trying to protect others, she sometimes falls into doubt.
If no one in this world agrees with you and they all say you are wrong, will you still think you are not wrong?
They all say that this world has never existed. Do you still think that the world is real?
Jiang Qing feels that she is real most of the time, but occasionally she gets distracted and falls into uncertainty.
She said these words not because she wanted Lin Nanyan to affirm her or anything, she didn't even care about Lin Nanyan's reaction.
The darkness gave her an outlet for her emotions, and she just wanted to find a place to vent.
Then, she was hugged unexpectedly.
It was a warm hug, strong and secure.
The boy knelt on one knee, his head buried deep in Jiang Qing's neck, his tall figure completely covering her.
A few strands of hair brushed her skin and it itched, but she didn't move.
Each other's heartbeats seemed to be synchronized, beating secretly in the darkness.
Lin Nanyan's hoarse voice came to my ears. He said, "If this is a dream, then we are all dreamers."
"You are fake, and I am fake too."
“So, it doesn’t matter if the world is fake.”
Jiang Qing was stunned. She slowly reached out and hugged the person in front of her. She felt the familiar warmth and the corners of her lips curled up. Yes, what does it matter?
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