Self-help
"May you be a big-headed ghost!"
Qian Ying tried to hold it back, but couldn't help herself and slapped Chen Heng on the forehead. "You usually look smart, but in the end, you're just faking it."
"Don't you have a mouth? Or is there something missing in your brain?"
She asked incredulously, "Don't tell me you've been at odds with us for so many years just because of this."
Chen Heng shook his head: "It's not just because of this."
Qian Ying took a deep breath and said, "Come on, tell me what you want to say. Let's talk it over today."
"I heard it," Chen Heng looked up, "You told Dad that I was born for Chen Xu."
Chen Heng looked at Qian Ying. Now when this matter was mentioned, he was able to remain calm.
"Chen Xu is your first child. He was sick and needed umbilical cord blood for treatment, so I was born."
Qian Ying met Chen Heng's dark eyes and fell silent.
She never knew that the old yellow pages would one day be opened.
She never knew that Chen Heng knew everything.
He has so many things hidden in his heart.
"Later, you brought me medical journals and periodicals one after another, bought me mannequins one after another, and every day you talked to me about the benefits of medicine, its future and greatness, praising me and spurring me on." At this point, Chen Heng closed his eyes, then opened them again. "Many times, I couldn't tell how much of this was for me and how much was for Chen Xu."
“Every day I wonder, what is the value of my existence?”
"Is it just for Chen Xu?" Chen Heng paused and continued, "But I am Chen Heng. I am an independent person. I know that I don't live just for others."
"So I can only stay away from that environment that made me worse and more miserable. I don't want to indulge in the past over and over again, and remind myself of my own misery over and over again."
"But, mother," he said, "you are following."
Qian Ying's eyes were filled with tears.
She couldn't imagine how her child was suffering these days.
And she, as a mother, knew nothing about this.
Her child is saving himself.
Because of fear, thorns grow all over my body.
Because I want to live, I choose to stay away.
"I admit," Qian Ying said with a bitter tone, "It was because of your brother's illness that your father and I chose to have a second child."
"We wanted our child to grow up in complete love. Before Chen Xu was born, we decided that we would only have one child, regardless of gender."
Chen Heng's eyes were red. Although he had heard it once before and was mentally prepared, he couldn't help but feel sad from the bottom of his heart when he heard it again.
He lowered his head in embarrassment.
"Xiao Heng, you've never been a mother, so you don't know."
"During the ten months of pregnancy, when I watched my belly grow bigger day by day, when I could feel your presence, when I could feel your movements, when you cried and fell into the world, you were my beloved and longed-for child."
Chen Heng raised his eyes and stared at Qian Ying in a daze.
"I watched you grow up day by day, watching you grow from a little boy into a big man, talking and calling mom, and coaxing people. I am really happy."
"I'm happy when you're teething, I'm happy when you laugh, and I'm equally happy when you're being naughty."
Qian Ying walked closer and touched the red corners of Chen Heng's eyes. "Xiao Heng, you and your brother are the same. You are both my children."
"You can't deny my devotion to you and my love for you just because of a mixed beginning."
"It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to you."
She gently wiped away Chen Heng's tears.
"Perhaps during your growth, I cared too much about Xiaoxu because of his illness."
"Xiao Heng, I don't want to deceive you."
"I can't promise that I will side with you in the future."
"Xiao Xu is my child too. I would instinctively pay more attention to the frail child, worried that he would be gone if I wasn't paying attention and out of my sight."
"Mom," Chen Heng suddenly called out to Qian Ying, "Don't say anything unlucky."
"Okay, I won't say anything," Qian Ying curled her lips. "I accept your accusation that I'm biased, but I don't accept you treating yourself as Chen Xu's vassal in life."
"That's an insult to yourself."
Chen Heng said softly, "I know."
He knew it the moment Qian Ying desperately turned the steering wheel to the right.
Although Chen Xu was sitting in the left rear seat, Qian Ying's instinct was to turn the steering wheel to the right.
At that moment, there was no difference between Chen Xu and Chen Heng in her eyes, only the choice between her and her own child.
With flesh and blood, they stand in front of children when danger comes and bear the greatest harm.
She loves her children more than her own life.
"But Xiaoheng," Qian Ying changed the subject, "don't you think too highly of yourself?"
"Hmm," Chen Heng replied muffledly, then he reacted and looked up suddenly, "Hmm?"
Qian Ying smiled and said, "If existing medical treatments can't cure your brother, do you think your father and I will place our hopes on a child, especially one who can barely read?"
Chen Heng choked, "...Normally speaking, no."
Qian Ying's smile deepened. "So, what gave you the illusion?"
Chen Heng was silent.
Qian Ying: "If studying medicine can help you better treat your family, then of course that would be great. There's no contradiction between the two. But isn't the first requirement that you enjoy studying it and be able to continue studying it?"
"Because you like it, your father and I worked so hard to hire a famous medical teacher to tailor a set of early childhood education materials for you. Now," she lowered her voice, inexplicably sounding a little dangerous, "tell me, are you learning all that for others? Are you unhappy when you read those magazines?"
Chen Heng: "...No, I'm happy."
Qian Ying nodded. "As for the kidney donation you mentioned, who knows what kind of miscellaneous medical projects your father has invested in."
"I can only tell you that all the tests you've done before were just physical examinations," she bent down and looked directly into Chen Heng's eyes. "Xiao Xu's kidneys are working well in his body."
Chen Heng opened his mouth.
Qian Ying: "What's the mouth for? Stop imagining it."
Chen Heng shut his mouth.
Qian Ying: "Any more questions?"
Chen Heng shook his head violently, as fast as an automatic rattle.
"Then," Qian Ying asked suddenly, "do you still want to be a mistress?"
Chen Heng was now more eloquent and quickly replied, "They haven't confirmed their relationship yet."
"Ouch, I can't take it anymore. Why is my head so dizzy?" Qian Ying cried out in pain, covering her shoulder.
Chen Heng was helpless: "Mom, your head is not injured."
Qian Ying glared at Chen Heng secretly.
At this moment, the person being talked about was puffing his lips and snatching his mobile phone back from Lin Nanyan.
Seeing the boy looking at her, Jiang Qing waved her hand and said, "I need to call my mom."
Lin Nanyan sat back quietly, listening to the girl's voice beside him suddenly become sweet.
"Mom, I want to drink the pork rib soup you made."
Wang Hong rolled her eyes cryptically. "Look at the time. Why are you drinking pork rib soup? Why don't you go to heaven?"
Jiang Qing pouted and said pitifully, "Okay, then I won't drink it."
Wang Hong: "When will you be back tonight? You should be with Lin Nanyan. Don't walk alone at night. If you can't, ask your dad to pick you up."
Jiang Qing glanced at Lin Nanyan and said, "It should be very late. You and Dad shouldn't wait any longer tonight."
"Maybe I slept at Song Shuang's house."
Lin Nanyan glanced at the girl who was speaking in surprise.
Wang Hong: "Song Shuang is here too? That's fine. It's not safe to walk around at night too late. Even if tomorrow is a holiday, don't stay up too late and go to bed early, okay?"
"Okay, Mom, I love you."
Wang Hong clicked her tongue and said, "Come back early tomorrow. I'll make you some pork rib soup and keep it warm in the rice cooker."
"Great, I knew you loved me the most, Mom!" Jiang Qing cheered.
"Stop joking!" Wang Hong's voice was tinged with laughter. "I'm hanging up."
Jiang Qing: "Bye, Mom."
When Lin Nanyan saw the girl hang up the phone, he asked, "Aren't you going home tonight?"
"No, let's eat cake."
"Okay," Lin Nanyan said, "Master, please turn around."
Jiang Qing was surprised, "Where are you going?"
Lin Nanyan glanced at the wrinkled clothes on the two people and said, "Take a shower and change clothes."
Lin Nanyan took Jiang Qing to the mall to buy a set of clothes, and then took them to the bath center.
Jiang Qing went in with a confused look on her face and came out looking refreshed.
"Is it... necessary?"
Lin Nanyan stepped forward and helped Jiang Qing tidy up her messy hair.
"You got caught in the rain," he stepped back a few steps and looked carefully, "don't get sick."
He took out a heat pad from his pocket, tore it open, and stuck it on Jiang Qing's belly through a layer of clothes.
Jiang Qing stood there disheveled in the wind, took the tea handed to her by the boy and took a sip.
It hissed softly as she took a sip, and she frowned, "Ginger tea again?"
"Well," Lin Nanyan took the bag of dirty clothes from the girl, "You can leave it here first."
Jiang Qing bit the straw and blinked as she watched Lin Nanyue negotiating with the administrator.
Lin Nanyan came back quickly and took off his clothes to put a second coat on Jiang Qing.
Jiang Qing: "...Lin Dagou, don't go too far. It's summer now."
Lin Nanyan could only give up with regret.
"You're really not feeling uncomfortable anywhere? Don't force it."
"No! Yes!" Jiang Qing emphasized through gritted teeth. She highly suspected that if she showed any signs of discomfort, her cup would be filled with more than just ginger tea, but a bitter potion. "Are you sorry that I didn't get to drink your special medicine?"
Upon hearing this, Lin Nanyan stuffed the medicine bag in his hand deeper into his pocket.
"I didn't," he said calmly, "Don't accuse me."
Jiang Qing looked at the boy suspiciously, "You'd better be."
When the two of them came out of the bath center, they were met with bright lights that illuminated the dark night.
Jiang Qing took a deep breath and felt like she was alive again. She tilted her head and asked, "Where are we going now?"
The lights were dim, and the girl was standing on the street, one step away from him, sniffing the same air as him. Now she looked up at him with a smile on her face, her eyes full of stars.
Jiang Qing: "Lin Nanyan?"
"Let's..." Lin Nanyan came back to his senses, "Let's go to the cake shop."
Jiang Qing was curious: "Is it far from here?"
"It's not far," Lin Nanyan looked down at the time, "We'll be there soon."
"Okay," Jiang Qing agreed, "Then you lead the way."
Lin Nanyue took a step forward, and Jiang Qing followed, and the two walked side by side on the street.
The lights were bright, people were coming and going, and walking against the tide in the surging crowd, it seemed as if they were the only two people on the same journey.
Silent silence surrounded the two of them, but this silence was comfortable and harmonious. There was no need to deliberately find any topics to talk about. It seemed as if this was the way it was supposed to be between them.
"Why did you go to the cake shop? Why not have them deliver it? Didn't you order it over the phone?"
Jiang Qing suddenly thought of this problem. It was quite troublesome to go to the cake shop. It would be faster to ask them to deliver it and eat it in a restaurant.
"No, I decided it before."
Jiang Qing was surprised. "You ordered two before?"
"Yeah." Lin Nanyan nodded.
He spent the afternoon in the cake shop learning how to make cakes from the boss. He made two in total, both strawberry flavored. The only difference was that they had two different sentences written on them.
But now, only one of them is left, still intact in the cake shop's refrigerator.
As they were talking, someone on a bicycle passed by them crookedly. Suddenly, he ran over a small stone and the front of the bicycle tilted.
Lin Nanyan subconsciously moved to the inside.
The two were so close that their hands touched and their skin pressed against each other inadvertently.
The temperature of the girl's skin came over, with a unique warmth and touch, extremely hot.
Lin Nanyan curled his fingertips slightly, and the next second after they separated, he put them back as if nothing had happened.
Jiang Qing: "Something's wrong."
Lin Nanyan froze.
Suddenly Jiang Qing saw something, her face became serious, and she ran out like a rabbit.
Lin Nanyan's hands hung down behind him, feeling the lingering summer breeze.
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