Chapter 37 Liking and Love
Like and love
How could an emperor give himself such medicine?!
Chen Guanxue looked at him as if he were a fool, or as if she pitied him.
Emperor Kangxi couldn't stand her looking at him like that.
He reached out and covered her eyes.
Chen Guanxue's tears, however, wet his palms.
He dared not let go of her hand, afraid that he would soften his heart, and also afraid of seeing her eyes.
He doesn't need her pity; he needs her love.
Chen Guanxue cried precisely because she knew this.
Her fingers climbed up his arm, digging into his flesh with a mixture of hatred and anxiety. Tears soaked their skin and also permeated their two beating hearts.
She only liked him, but he loved her.
Chen Guanxue didn't even want to think about it; how could an emperor like him drink that kind of medicine?
But she knew clearly that he didn't want her to suffer the pain of childbirth again.
He couldn't abstain from sex, didn't want to touch anyone else, and couldn't let her take the medication, so he chose to take it himself.
She had never thought about this issue. In the past few months, she had been intimate with him, and the only mess she had made was the bedding.
Other methods exist, but if the Imperial Household Department were to provide the emperor with any contraceptives, it would likely be leaked the very next day.
A torrential storm of emotions swept over her, leaving only her aching heartbeat.
Seeing that she was crying so hard, Kangxi withdrew his hand and used a handkerchief to wipe her face.
The gentle movements were as if brushing against butterfly wings, as if she might get hurt if she wasn't careful.
Seeing his behavior, Chen Guanxue burst into tears again and reached out to slap away his handkerchief.
Kangxi was afraid she would get angry, so he turned his head and saw that she had stopped crying. Her little face was red from crying, and the tears on her cheeks were as beautiful as pearls.
He subconsciously licked the tear into his mouth.
Slightly bitter.
But it's much better than the medicine he was taking.
"Don't cry." Kangxi coaxed her, his kisses like fine raindrops, leaving her speechless.
Chen Guanxue cried all night and didn't even remember when she fell asleep. She only woke up the next day with her eyes red and swollen.
Applying a warm, damp cloth to the eyes first thing in the morning can relieve soreness and fatigue.
It was only at this moment that she had the mind to sort out her emotions.
Why did she cry for so long last night?
She didn't remember, but the faint pain in her heart told her that she felt sorry for Kangxi.
Her liking was also turning into love.
The unfamiliar emotions left her conflicted.
Didn't she love Emperor Kangxi twenty years later?
When this question was raised, Chen Guanxue couldn't understand it, because love cannot be described in words.
Kangxi, also Kangxi.
If she loves the current Kangxi Emperor and the future Kangxi Emperor, it seems that she loves the same person, but perhaps it is two different people.
The person in the mirror has a beautiful face, but carries an indescribable air of aloofness and detachment.
Those eyes held doubt, struggle, and above all, a purity unlike anything in this era.
She then remembered that she had only been in the Qing Dynasty for a short three years.
Three years isn't even enough to finish a bachelor's degree, yet after experiencing so much, she's still pondering whether or not she loves someone.
Chen Guanxue's eyes cleared almost instantly.
Those thoughts that had been slightly altered by the changing environment returned to the state that made her most comfortable.
Whether she loves him or not, he's her man anyway, so why does it have to be a competition to see who's better?
Wasn't what she loved Kangxi's love for her?
Chen Guanxue had figured things out. After applying eye patches, she put on her prettiest light green dress, hugged Fushou, the little one who seemed to never get enough sleep, and then went boating on the lake.
Emperor Kangxi left early in the morning and ordered people to keep a close eye on her. When he learned that she was dressed beautifully and going boating on the lake, his furrowed brows relaxed.
"For lunch, I asked the kitchen to make a steamed chicken wrapped in lotus leaves and a lotus flower soup."
Since you're in such a good mood that you went boating on the lake, you must have a good appetite too.
When he was in a better mood, he didn't want to avoid her anymore.
Emperor Kangxi never hesitated to scheme against people's hearts, but he dared not scheme against Chen Guanxue. He only wanted to take advantage of her good mood and make her like him a little more.
Sitting in the small boat, Chen Guanxue looked up and saw the straight stems supporting the green leaves that blocked out the sun, like countless umbrellas of all sizes, shading the still tender and fragile lotus flowers from the sun.
One by one, pink or white lotus flowers break free from the protection of the lotus leaves, open in the wind, and show their own unique beauty.
Dragonflies and butterflies flocked to the lotus petals to admire its beauty.
The lotus flowers that bloom low become a rare delicacy for the fish swimming in the lake.
One by one, brightly colored koi leaped out of the water, biting the petals and swaying their tails. Before the water droplets could even fall to the surface, the fish had already bitten off the petals and fallen back into the water.
Chen Guanxue lay on the side of the small boat, reaching out to stir the lake water. As the ripples spread, fish of various colors surged up and swam between her fingertips.
The fish in the lake are occasionally fed and have gotten used to being teased. When they see that she has no food in her hand, the fish that have gathered together disperse.
A smile appeared on Chen Guanxue's lips.
Kangxi stood on the shore, watching the water droplets slide off her fingertips.
At this moment, the sun is high in the sky, and the brilliant sunlight spreads a dazzling golden layer on the water's surface. With the ripples created by the small boat, it is like flowing golden light, making her look exceptionally lively.
The subtle aloofness she exuded faded, leaving only pure joy.
It was almost the same as usual, another separation between the sky and the abyss.
He just watched until she came ashore in her small boat, and then he went over to her.
Chen Guanxue looked at the large hand extended in front of her, placed her hand on it, and her soft fingers were immediately gripped tightly, not letting go even when she was standing firm.
"The palace is not as good as Changchun Garden, where you can play freely," Kangxi sighed.
Chen Guanxue didn't care much, "Even the palace doesn't have a lake this big, and Changchun Garden is only nice in summer; it's too cold in winter."
In winter, the cold wind blows across the lake, and it gets incredibly cold.
They tacitly avoided mentioning what happened last night, but they became increasingly comfortable and at ease with each other. The ease was like Kangxi, and the comfort was like Chen Guanxue.
Changchun Garden is very large and has many scenic spots. In addition to boating on the lake, Chen Guanxue would also visit familiar concubines to watch fish and enjoy the scenery.
Of course, the most common name used was Consort De, because she had a pleasant voice.
Therefore, after the Fourth Prince's wife, Ulanara, gave birth to a child, Chen Guanxue's gifts became three times more generous.
She also said a few words about Consort De, who could be described as a wicked mother-in-law.
Whether it will work or not is unknown, and what she's thinking is also unknown, but at least for now, she's willing to maintain a facade of peace, which is much better for both Yinzhen and Ulanara.
This was also the first time Chen Guanxue had met the Fourteenth Prince at Consort De's place.
She had seen the Fourteenth Prince after he grew up, but she never expected that he would grow so tall and strong at only ten years old, looking no different from a fourteen or fifteen-year-old child.
Thinking about this, Chen Guanxue realized that her age wasn't that much different.
It seems that my attitude towards children has changed since I became a mother. Before, they were peers, but now they are elders.
There's something mysterious about it.
After Chen Guanxue left, the Fourteenth Prince, who had been observing her, said to Consort De, "Consort Chen is quite different from what has been said in the rumors."
Consort De looked up alertly and asked, "What rumors?"
"Many people serving at Changchun Garden say that Consort Chen is arrogant and domineering, and doesn't respect the other concubines and princes..."
"Pretend you didn't hear these words. Later, Mother will have someone ask Consort Tong to replace the servants in the princes' and princesses' quarters." Consort De interrupted him before he could finish speaking.
You can't say that!
She didn't want rumors to spread that she and her son were saying bad things about Chen Guanxue.
The Uya clan has now gone into hiding, perhaps waiting for Kangxi to forget about this matter, or perhaps waiting for the next emperor to take the throne before they dare to show themselves.
She only needs to maintain her current glory and doesn't aspire to go any further.
Consort De experienced the feeling of being a concubine again, being cautious and careful, as were the other concubines.
Upon hearing Consort De mention that the servants in the princes' quarters were behaving improperly, Consort Tong immediately summoned the princes and princesses for questioning.
I've heard all of that from my servants.
Most of these rumors were overheard unintentionally, and it's impossible to pinpoint who spread them.
Consort Tong did not stand on ceremony and replaced all the people.
The matter was quite serious, and the action was urgent. Upon hearing the news, the adult princes investigated many people around them and learned a lot of clues.
"None of them are honest."
For the first time ever, several powerful princes sat together in such a calm and composed manner.
“They’re just some barbarian bandits.” Yinreng looked at his hot-tempered elder brother. “The Northwest is not peaceful. Why don’t you and your brother go and quell the rebellion? The journey will be difficult. Remember to replenish your supplies when you pass through the border.”
The Crown Prince now wields considerable influence among his brothers, and those who disobey him have long been dealt with, both openly and covertly.
Although there are some dissatisfactions, they have begun to follow his arrangements on important matters.
The road to the Northwest is long, so it's normal to travel slowly. It's also normal to encounter some barbarian rebels and get into a few minor fights.
Because the royal family had been exploited, and it wasn't appropriate to openly order others to fight back, the princes went on their own.
When the officials heard that the eldest prince and the seventh prince had suddenly decided to go to the border, they were all quite surprised.
No, the Seventh Prince can go. He's been stationed at the border for most of the year, so it's normal for him.
But what are you going to do, Prince? Can't you wait a while if you want to earn merit? We're still vying with the Crown Prince; what can we do if you leave?
The ministers were all incredulous, but Kangxi agreed.
Stunned by the actions of the father and son, the less astute officials assumed that Kangxi was trying to dampen the spirits of the First Prince's faction, while the wiser ones failed to see through it.
For a moment, the imperial court was quiet.
Because of what the other princes found in their backyards, they also found clues about the person who had put the medicine in Chen Guanxue's room.
They are the barbarians of the Northwest.
The Manchu army had not been in the pass for long, and because many people had been incorporated into the Eight Banners in the early stages, some of them managed to sneak in.
Some people are taking advantage of the chaos to do things, and I don't know why, but fortunately they've been exposed.
Otherwise, if they strike at a more crucial time in the future, it will truly be a devastating blow.
After Kangxi finished dealing with the matter, he felt completely relieved and went to find Chen Guanxue.
Although he goes to see her so easily every day, it doesn't stop him from being even more relaxed today.
After picking up Fushou, who was lying down kicking and waving her arms, I told her that there were several streets outside Changchun Garden where delicious food was sold, and asked her if she wanted to go and take a look.
[Author's Note]
I haven't finished it yet. I'll see when I can write a few hundred more words later.
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