Chapter 42 You won’t leave, right?
"I just like it."
With his face pressed by a white hand, Dazai Osamu spoke in a deep voice.
The hot air sprayed during the words burned the palm of my hand, and I felt the touch of lips brushing against my palm. A current rushed from the point of contact straight into my mind!
The girl immediately withdrew her hand: "Speak properly."
When the hand left, the boy's entire face appeared again. His warm eyes reflected the light clearly, and were so soft that you could see through them at a glance.
This kind of Dazai Osamu makes Hayana Takanashi very uncomfortable.
Dazai, who wasn't being funny, but was looking at her seriously, gently, and with a strange emotion... No!
"Why did you confess so suddenly?"
Still so serious.
Hayana Takanashi keenly sensed that something was wrong.
Dazai Osamu lay flat on the table like some kind of mollusk, and said lazily yet seriously, "If I want a kiss, will Hayana give it to me?"
"?" Kotori Hayana thought for a moment and asked, "Where to kiss?"
Something is wrong.
Although Dazai was smiling, he felt unhappy.
The sadness that emanates from deep within is beyond my control.
The girl frowned and looked at him with a penetrating gaze.
Suddenly, a finger came from below and smoothed her brow with gentle yet unquestionable strength.
"I said this to make Hayana smile all the time. Everything I did was for your smile," Dazai Osamu said with a smile, "If you make this kind of expression, I'll doubt myself."
Expect to be discovered and retained.
He also hopes not to be discovered and that Hayana can get what she wants.
It's complicated and tangled. In this oxidized world, if I leave Hayana, every moment will probably be tormenting.
It's only been three years since I escaped from the lonely life, and now it's about to begin again.
The difference is that this time the wandering is no longer empty.
He is very purposeful.
"Are you serious?" Hayana Takanashi confirmed with him.
He didn't expect her to ask such a question and make such a decision. Dazai Osamu opened his eyes wide and stared blankly at the delicate face of the girl above him.
It's so cunning, it's simply an attack on my mind.
My heart felt like it was being squeezed and I couldn't breathe.
I really want to reach out to her and hold her hand. My heart is bursting with joy. Even my mind is blank. I just feel the joy of the moment.
coward.
Why choose to express your feelings?
Obviously there's nothing I can do right now...
If you don't express it, you will regret it——
Constant regret fills the body, as if being dragged into the abyss. It is an emotion that can be called lifelong regret.
"Hayasana, stay so close to me."
His mouth opened and closed, and his voice was hollow.
Kotori Hayana felt more and more that something was wrong with him: "I'm right next to you."
Why was he acting so uneasy now that the leader wasn't making any move?
Did the leader get what he wanted?
when? !
Hayana Takanashi came back to her senses and found that Dazai Osamu, who had hung up the call from Ryunosuke Akutagawa, was about to leave.
She stepped forward and grabbed his wrist!
The boy's forward movement suddenly stopped.
Turning back, a puzzled expression appeared on his handsome face: "Saana? What's wrong?"
"You won't leave, will you?" Hayana Takanashi asked him.
Her eyes, distinctly black and white, were extremely serious, indicating that she must get an answer.
"As long as I don't want to, no one can make me leave." Dazai Osamu smiled and spoke very confidently to comfort her.
The body was pulled forward again with great force.
With his back to the girl, the forced smile on the boy's face disappeared completely.
"You're not leaving, are you?" she asked stubbornly, not wanting an ambiguous answer.
"I will always stand by you and will do anything for you. Maybe I will have a disagreement with Chuuya on this matter, but I believe that after knowing everything, Chuuya will understand."
She said, "I will deal with anyone who comes against you, even the chief."
Possessing great power means protecting important people.
If you just stand by and do nothing, you're worse than a waste.
The turbulent emotions in his eyes, like the waves of the ocean, were hidden by his hair. The lower half of his face, which was not covered by the shadows, was full of reluctance. The corners of his lips kept turning down, and his head hurt from biting his back teeth.
——But, I don’t want to lie to Hayana.
"What about Hayana's job?" Dazai Osamu suppressed his emotions with all his might and asked in a clear and smooth voice, just like usual: "As a member of the Special Ability Department, what about Hayana's job?"
It was no surprise that Dazai Osamu knew her true identity. Hayana Kotori said calmly: "My mission is to monitor. As long as the leader is not a threat to Yokohama, I will absolutely protect his safety. If the leader poses a threat to Yokohama, I will take his head."
"But, leader is just a title. Mori Ogai can be called the leader, and Dazai Osamu can also be called the leader."
"My mission won't change, this is just an internal change."
"It doesn't matter who's the leader, but—"
The corners of his lips curled up, and Dazai turned his head, his face showing a hollow and broken expression: "I don't want to be the leader."
He said so.
"Then I'll take the blame!" Hayato Kotori quickly changed his strategy. "If that doesn't work, I'll do it!"
If Dazai Osamu left and it was the path to happiness, she would never stop him.
But... he was clearly crying.
He wants people to notice him crying, but he also doesn't want people to notice him crying. He feels so conflicted and tangled.
He wanted to grab it but slapped the hand that was offered to him away.
Why?
What exactly happened?
How could it be... fake happiness?
How can I help him? How can I make him laugh again?
Takanashi Hayana racked her brains.
"You obviously want to stay, don't you?" she asked.
Dazai Osamu's expression hardened again: "Not really..."
The long, smooth black hair drew an arc in the air, and the next second, the girl bumped into his arms without any warning!
He was pushed back by the impact, and his defense was shattered to pieces.
"Why are you trying so hard, you idiot! If you have any problems, just tell me and we can solve them together. There's always a solution, right? Otherwise, what are Chuuya and I doing?!"
"We have such a relationship, why are you being so stingy with us?!"
"You've been discovered, yet you're still refusing to tell me anything. Do you really have to make me cry and beg you?! You're such a huge idiot!"
"I suddenly feel so bad." The stiff hands finally placed on the girl's back, closed in, and hugged her tightly.
Dazai Osamu held her like a treasure, resting his chin gently on the top of her hair and stroking it: "Saana is obviously crying already."
"If you don't tell me now, I'll ask you for it in the next second."
She slumped in his arms, her voice suppressed: "Dazai has already regarded the Port Mafia as half his home, right?"
Here are Chuuya and her, Mori Ougai who taught him but was also wary of him, Akutagawa, Gin, and Sister Momiji. Although Sakaguchi Ango and Oda Sakunosuke have left, there are still many people who can be called ties.
Why...?
…
None stayed.
Despite saying a lot, nothing stayed.
Late one night, Hayana Kotori received a call from Ryunosuke Akutagawa.
On the phone, the boy's voice was pale and painful: "Mr. Dazai has disappeared..."
What does disappear mean?
It means that Dazai Osamu suddenly disappeared during a mission. No one saw him. He disappeared without a trace and could not be found no matter how hard you looked.
It is not a man-made disappearance, but a spontaneous disappearance.
Standing at the place where Dazai Osamu was carrying out the mission, outside the warehouse was a mess left by the fight with the opposing organization, while inside the warehouse the guns and goods were intact, with no signs of having been turned over.
"We were engaged in a battle with the enemy, under the command of Mr. Dazai. Both sides were firing heavily, and the situation was chaotic. When we didn't hear Mr. Dazai's voice for a long time and went back to look for him... he was gone."
"Yes, we searched for a long time! We even interrogated the enemy's wounded!"
"No one knows where Mr. Dazai is. It's as if he disappeared out of thin air..."
"It was all for nothing! Mr. Dazai disappeared on his own..."
The following words were silenced by the warning look from Gin, the deputy next to the cadre candidate!
The scene fell into dead silence.
No one dared to breathe.
Hayana Kotori, who was squatting on the ground checking footprints, stood up and looked towards the warehouse window.
Where did you leave from?
They were telling the truth, Dazai left of his own accord.
"No need to look for them." She said expressionlessly, "Send back all the people who are investigating."
I don't know why, but if he insists on doing this...
She would do everything in her power to help him.
But—don't let her catch you.
Otherwise, I would definitely beat him until he cries...
Gin looked at the girl worriedly, "Miss... Kotori?"
Miss Takanashi, who has always been strong and optimistic and whom nothing can defeat, showed her vulnerability at this moment.
Then, what made Yin even more worried was yet to come——
Because Dazai Osamu, one of the five major cadres, suddenly disappeared, he was judged to have defected by the leader Mori Ogai. His direct subordinate Akutagawa Ryunosuke and related personnel were imprisoned in the dungeon and interrogated by the interrogation team under Ozaki Koyo to determine their loyalty to the organization.
After receiving this news, there was a slight ripple in Hayato Kotori's eyes, but in the end she said nothing. She refused Gin's offer to follow her and left alone, her back looking lonely and desolate.
It was a severe blow.
Looking at the girl's back, Yin folded his hands and clenched his fists.
It would be nice if Mr. Nakahara were here, she thought.
At the very least, now that Mr. Dazai has been judged to be a defector and his direct subordinates have been imprisoned in the dungeon for loyalty assessment, Ms. Takanashi will not be in a predicament of being isolated and alone.
Brought beer.
Hayana Kotori is sitting in front of the [Kawasaki Delicious Oden] stall.
Snap——
When you open the pull ring with one hand, the sound of bubbles bursting is very loud.
The girl with black hair and black eyes sat on a chair, holding her chin with one hand, looking at Uncle Kawasaki who was busy.
"Is Lingzi's illness better?" she asked.
"Much better." After dropping the soba noodles into the boiling water and preparing the sauce, Uncle Kawasaki replied, "The doctor said I should stay in the hospital for a while for observation. If there's nothing serious, I can go home and recuperate."
"That girl is so exhausted in the hospital, she's been wanting to go back to school for a long time!"
Hayana Kotori curled her lips and said, "Congratulations, this is a great thing worth celebrating."
"Where's Hayana?" Uncle Kawasaki asked, serving the cold soba noodles. "Drinking alone late at night can get you into trouble. Call a friend to come and keep you company."
"I want company, too." Sitting here, she felt like a piece of her heart was missing: "One of those two guys isn't around, and the other is an idiot."
"Has your heart been broken?"
"It's more terrifying than a broken heart."
"So...did you overturn the boat by trying to have the best of both worlds?"
"It's bigger than a capsized boat."
"Huh?! Hayana-chan, you're not..." Uncle Kawasaki's eyes turned subtly awkward, and then he became furious with a strong sense of justice: "No way! How can you be a mother when you're so young?! You haven't even enjoyed your best years yet! Could it be...that the father of the baby in your belly doesn't want to take responsibility and abandoned you?! Tell me who it is! Dazai-kun or Nakahara-kun! I'll help you vent your anger and make them take responsibility for you and...anyway!!!"
"..." Her hand holding the can tightened, and Hayana Kotori looked at Uncle Kawasaki calmly: "Hey, don't think I won't beat you up just because you're an uncle."
"On the contrary, I never show mercy when I beat up uncles."
Seeing her so calm, Uncle Kawasaki also calmed down and said in a rough voice: "Then if you see the bastard who hit you again, you must not show mercy."
"I do want to." said Hayana Takanashi.
The problem is - I can’t find it.
She tried almost every method she could think of, but still couldn't protect him.
Why leave unhappy?
She wanted to get the answer from Dazai Osamu.
Without an answer, she didn't know where to start.
Just like facing Dazai who is determined to leave, there is nothing you can do.
Fool!
Big idiot!!
A fool with a smart head...
"That guy isn't a jerk." She felt downcast. "It's just that something happened somewhere I wasn't aware of. Ultimately, it's because I'm not perceptive enough."
"People can't always look for reasons within themselves." Uncle Kawasaki tried to enlighten.
Swallowing the bubbles that burst in her throat, Hayana Kotori found it funny: "Just because someone is there won't make me find the reason for my mistakes."
Dazai Osamu - is one of the "fingers".
Now that Chuuya is on a business trip, something happened to Dazai somewhere she didn't know about. Ultimately, it was because she didn't provide him with a good back and protection.
——An incompetent friend.
Looking at the time, Uncle Kawasaki said with concern: "It's time to close the stall."
"You haven't slept all night, so you should go back and rest early."
"I'll take care of it, including this stall." Hayana Takanashi pushed her wallet over.
"Don't you want to go back to sleep? Your body won't be able to hold on, right?"
“…”
"I understand. I'll leave the stall to you."
Sitting alone in front of the stall, the loneliness that even Uncle Kawasaki had left completely enveloped me.
Soba noodles - no appetite.
My favorite beer is bitter and hard to swallow.
Until the dawn breaks.
A coat with warm body temperature fell gently on the shoulders, with a faint smell of gunpowder.
Hayana Takanashi looked at Nakahara Chuuya who was standing beside her.
"Would you like a bowl of hot oden?" she asked.
“Yes.” Nakahara Chuuya responded, his cobalt blue eyes dark and complex: “Thank you for your help.”
Hayana Takanashi got up and went to the stall to start cooking the ingredients.
"Is the mission of being responsible for the business trip over?"
"I came here as soon as I got back from overtime."
"Do you know I'm here?"
“You don’t need to think about it, you know it.”
"You look a little embarrassed. Did something happen to you?"
"That guy Dazai planted a bomb on the car I was traveling in."
"That's just like him."
"I brought Patus over, let's have a drink together later."
Hayana Takanashi raised her eyes and met Nakahara Chuuya's eyes.
Ink meets cobalt blue.
"I'm sorry." ×2.
I'm sorry that I was useless and left a missing piece between the three of us when you were not here.
I'm sorry that you were left alone and helpless while I was away.
They both saw the obvious emotions being expressed in each other's eyes.
Suddenly the world became quiet.
In front of the stall, high-end and expensive wines that were completely out of place at the stall were opened and poured into cheap and ordinary glass glasses.
Staring at the rose-red liquid, Hayato raised his glass: "Cheers."
The glass in his hand clinked against it, making a crisp and ethereal sound. Nakahara Chuuya said, "Cheers."
"I'll kill him next time we meet."
"Remember to call me."
As the wine flowed down her throat, Hayato Yato smiled and said, "Well, anyway, let's just consider it a celebration."
"Celebrate Dazai."
Nakahara Chuuya lowered his eyes: "Although I don't understand, if he chooses to leave like this, then I can only let him do as he pleases."
"He's unhappy." Hayana Kotori glanced sideways at the boy beside her.
"I don't understand either." Nakahara Chuuya refilled the glass in front of her and lowered his voice: "But, at this point, this is the only way, right?"
The two men clinked their glasses again.
Behind the bridge pier in the darkness in the distance, with his back against the pier, he was still wearing a black suit, but the black coat he often wore was gone. Dazai Osamu leaned against the cold and hard concrete wall behind him.
I don't know how long I stayed here.
I don’t know when I will leave.
But the broken emotions lingering around him were about to swallow him whole.
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