staggering
373.
When we got to the track and field, Qiu Yang was stretching. When he saw me, he smiled at me and said,
"Who followed you?"
It was the same careless tone that I hated the most. I didn't want to reply. He reached out and pushed me, and after stumbling, I said,
"One, senior."
"who?"
"I don't know either."
"Why are you asking me if you don't know? Do you want some soda?" he asked me.
"No, thank you. Now that I know, do you still need to know?"
I followed him as we headed towards the mini-mart. He didn't seem to like looking back, but he would slow down his pace from time to time, letting us form a common rhythm.
374.
Cell phones weren't allowed in school, and only a few students had them back then. Each class was equipped with a landline, so students from out of town who missed home could use it to call their parents. I don't know who they called, but I've seen them crying and complaining about how hard and tiring high school was. They couldn't adapt.
Qiu Yang's phone is mostly off, he told me on the way to the mini-mart. My phone is mostly on silent, but I didn't tell him.
"Have you been under a lot of pressure lately, or do you have any troubles? I never saw you frowning before." He took two cans of Coke and handed me one.
"fine."
"Have you never looked at your test scores since you entered high school?"
“No difference.”
"Are you so free and easy?"
"fine."
He suddenly reached out and pinched my face, and I quickly dodged.
"What's wrong with you?"
He smiled, said nothing, and went to the art building. I crushed the empty can and threw it in the trash. I turned around and saw An Jin, sighed, found a corner, took out my phone, and texted him.
375.
Me: You agreed not to follow me.
An Jin: Not yet.
He walked towards me after sending the text message and came in front of me. I looked up and asked him,
"You're so free in your second year of high school?"
He didn't say anything, just looked at me.
"How long do you want to follow me?" "Graduation? Then I can endure for two years and be free for one year."
Still no words.
"What changes do you want to confirm about me? How much change would be enough for you to say?"
He was standing, I was sitting. Contrary to reality, I stood up, hoping to communicate on equal terms.
"Do you still like Xu Jiaheng?" he said in a low voice.
"This has nothing to do with you. Just because I know your name doesn't mean I know you. I'm talking to you only because you've caused me trouble." There's also fear, burden, and worry.
"How many times do I have to say it to know you?"
This question really stumped me, so I chose to answer something irrelevant. I asked him if he drank soda, and he said no.
376.
"So what do you like to drink?"
"Whatever you like to drink, I like to drink." This sentence is very firm.
"I don't have a favorite drink, but I like the ones Xu Jiaheng buys for me."
"You can't do this!"
how?
"You, too, can't do this. You can't keep following someone around just because you like them. You can't keep changing my number to text me, and you can't keep staring at me whenever you have time."
"I can't do that."
The bell for evening study rang and we walked towards different teaching buildings.
377.
To distract myself, I started working on my homework. As I was writing, I realized the half eraser was still in my trouser pocket. Every time I talked to him, I thought about returning it first, but every time I talked, I forgot. I sighed as I wrote. School was over at 10:20, and the walk back to my rental apartment only took me a little over ten minutes if I didn't buy food.
I bought a bottle of yogurt at the convenience store downstairs, quickly finished it, and went upstairs. I wasn't listening to my MP3 player when I heard another person's footsteps.
Before closing the door, I saw An Jin standing at the corner of the stairs with a gray schoolbag on his back.
378.
When our eyes met, I instantly stopped being annoyed with Qiu Yang. I felt that I was annoyed with the wrong person.
"Senior."
I was already used to him not talking. I took out half a piece of eraser from my trouser pocket, held my hand in the air and said to him,
"I'm giving it back to you. Don't follow me from now on."
He slowly climbed the stairs, took the eraser in his right hand and held it in his palm.
"This is not mine," he said.
"Don't lie to me," I said.
379.
After closing and locking the door, I leaned against it, gasping for breath. Fear couldn't be easily dispelled. I knew I was afraid someone would find me. This was a blessing in disguise, I consoled myself.
Should I check to see if he's gone, or do my homework? "Do your homework," said another voice in my heart.
380.
Numbered questions, empty pen refills, the difficulty of life...
381.
I also had questions I didn't know how to answer, so I left them blank. I kept thinking, this was an unwise choice in the exam room. After finishing all the basic questions, it was late at night. Standing on the balcony of my rental apartment, with no view of the sea, I pondered the next time: would I improve or continue to lag behind?
In the early morning, the phone vibrated.
Exploding Dog: Are you asleep?
Me: I just fell asleep and you woke me up.
FryDog: My bad.
Exploding Dog: So who's following you?
I didn't want to tell him so much, so I continued to answer irrelevant questions.
Me: I also go to the swimming pool on weekends.
Exploding Dog: I’m going too. What a coincidence!
Me: Oh, if I go, you go, and if I don’t go, you don’t go?
Me: Am I so important to you?
Me: Li Enhui likes you, did you know?
Exploding Dog: I know.
Exploding Dog: You just found out today?
I:.......
382.
At the swimming pool, Qiu Yang and I met face to face, and neither of us had expected Xu Jiaheng to take a leave of absence.
383.
I wanted to leave, but Qiu Yang didn't want me to leave and wanted to continue arguing with me.
"Now that you're here, why don't you swim a few laps? You swam so fast last time that I almost couldn't catch up with you." He grabbed my arm.
"Let go."
"A race?"
"Who's watching? Let go." If Xu Jiaheng were here, I'd be happy to compete with you. But unfortunately, he's not here.
"When did you learn to swim? Aren't you afraid of water?"
I'd also like to know when exactly.
"I'm not afraid of water now, I'm afraid of you."
"Why are you afraid of me? Last time you hit me, I didn't fight back."
The last time he mentioned should be when he got off the boat on the third day of junior high school and I didn’t have time to get on board.
"Then fight back. If you fight back now, I won't fight back."
"Teacher Cheng also teaches math in our class. He said you got a zero. I don't think that's the case. How about when we get back to school, you turn over your answer sheet and test paper, and I'll teach you how to avoid getting a zero. How about that?"
I rolled my eyes at him, took my swimming goggles and left.
384.
When I reached the entrance of the swimming pool, I looked up and saw An Jin hiding behind the tree again.
385.
If I could walk with my eyes closed, I would definitely do it. Unfortunately, I couldn't. When I was almost at the gate of the community, I turned back and saw An Jin walking on the road behind me, and Qiu Yang walking on the opposite road.
This is absolutely not what I want.
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