I saw Long Ze and he was stunned.
"Bai Feng, is Si Yan your love tribulation?"
I remained silent, then nodded. "Yes."
Long Ze's lips twitched a few times, a rare occurrence for him.
I know he dotes on Si Yan; from his perspective, Si Yan is probably more important than me.
He remained silent for a long time before finally saying, "Take it easy."
After a long while, Long Ze slowly said, "...Bai Feng, don't die."
Longze is a very good beast god, and he is the beast god I respect.
All the beastmen in the beast world revered me as a beast god.
He was the only one who knew I wasn't purely good, the only one who knew I had killed people, and the only one who, after seeing me make mistake after mistake, was still alive in this world.
Yes, I am a despicable high priest.
I know that he has, to some extent, relinquished control over what I'm going to do.
He might curse me for what I do, but he won't be hostile towards me.
In the world of inheritance, I have launched another fierce competition, and I am fighting against folly.
Under the fair mechanism of world inheritance, I also lost my memory.
Having lost my memory, I lost again.
The reason I lost was actually my personality.
I'm so boring.
I'm too controlling; I'm watching her too closely, like a parent.
She really treats me like an elder.
It's not like liking a partner.
...
I told myself I should let it go.
Yet, they might suddenly go crazy and frantically try to fight for it.
I'm not willing to let all my romantic prospects rot away like this.
I'm really not willing to accept this.
Then, I told myself to let it go.
Two little people are pulling at each other in my heart.
I live in White Eagle City, but I often gaze toward the direction of the Land of Illusion.
My eyes can't see that far, yet I deceive myself by fantasizing about what's happening over there.
A year has passed.
Five years have passed.
Ten years have passed.
A century has passed.
A thousand years have passed.
Though I cannot grow old, a sense of vicissitude appears in my eyes now.
Many things have happened over the past thousand years.
For example, Si Yan and Wang got married, an Earth wedding.
I attended the wedding and witnessed the ceremony; my feelings were both calm and unsettled.
For example, Tyson gave up the immortality that Si Yan wanted to give him.
As a golden crystal beastman with a relatively long lifespan, he died at the age of 508.
I went that time too.
I saw Si Yan weeping over Tyson's passing. I wondered if she would cry if I died.
If she sheds even a single tear, I feel as if my heart is full again.
I noticed the ancient priest's scepter she wore at her waist.
A secret joy welled up inside me.
He had foolishly given her a protective shield.
And I—
She carries the bone of my little finger with her.
For example, Mingyan died of old age, Heisheng died of old age, and many other orcs died of old age.
But I am still alive. Si Yan is still alive, and Wang is still alive.
But I'm becoming more and more numb.
Living too long and experiencing too much, many things gradually fade from memory.
However, despite my efforts, I can't forget Si Yan.
My love tribulation seems to be over, yet it also seems not.
That day, the sun was so bright that I couldn't open my eyes.
An unexpected guest came to my tree hole.
My old friend, Dragon God Longze, has actually arrived.
"Bai Feng! Hi, long time no see!" Long Ze greeted me like an old friend.
I glanced at him twice and led him into the tree hollow.
I poured him a glass of water, sat down, and asked, "Didn't you go to the Dragon Realm to become a Dragon God? Were you unhappy there? Why did you come to the Beast World?"
Longze exchanged a few pleasantries with me before finally revealing the purpose of his visit to the Beast World.
Long Ze looked at me intently, took a sip of water, and then said, "Honestly, Bai Feng, I really didn't expect this..."
"What didn't you think of?"
"I thought you were someone who couldn't let go and was very persistent. After learning that Si Yan was your love tribulation, I thought..."
"Did you think I would try to ruin Si Yan and Wang's relationship?"
Long Ze's silence was tantamount to approval.
"I would like to..." My heart remained silent.
I've actually thought about it: would it be easier to be a bad person? Would it be better to be even more despicable?
After all, I'm not Tyson.
Because I'm not even a guardian beast!
Although Tyson didn't become a beastman, he simply didn't become one. He had family by his side, and he was never alone.
And I am very lonely.
But why didn't I do that?
I don't know either.
I didn't go that far, I didn't ruin their relationship, I didn't try to take advantage of their vulnerability, and I couldn't have been any more despicable, any more despicable.
I feel a little regretful. A little confused. A little lost.
But I think I might just be scared...
"I'm afraid Si Yan will hate me," I said.
Long Ze was silent for a moment, then asked, "Bai Feng, did you fail to overcome your love tribulation?"
"I guess I failed, since I didn't become a god," I replied calmly.
I did not become a god, but I also did not die or perish.
Longze looked at me intently a few more times.
Longze and I have had many years of friction, but there is respect and friendship between us.
He said, "Let me take you away from here, to the Phoenix Realm."
"You have the bloodline of the Phoenix God, and the Phoenix God can help you become a god."
"Long Ze, I failed to overcome my love tribulation. I can no longer become a god."
"It's alright. The Phoenix God has no offspring in the Phoenix Realm. If you return, you will be his only descendant, and he will do everything in his power to help you become a god. In addition, you have spent so many years in the Beast World, and your body is almost entirely filled with the divine light of merit. White Phoenix, I am very certain that you can become a god."
"Bai Feng, go and become a god."
Bai Feng, stop being someone's high priest. Go be a god.
I remained silent.
But it was deafening.
...
I finally agreed to leave with Longze.
When we were about to leave, Si Yan and Wang came to see us off.
Wang treated her very well; she was much plumper than she was a thousand years ago, and her energy and spirit were excellent.
I know that Wang took good care of her.
At that moment, I didn't know if I had let go, but I think I probably had.
"Si Yan, Wang, I'm leaving."
"Bai Feng." She called to me, and I stopped and turned to look at her.
"Until we meet again."
My heart pounded, tore apart, and screamed.
I stood there watching her.
"Si Yan, until we meet again."
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