Chapter 50 (First published on Jinjiang Literature City)
Chapter Fifty
Lin Rong stood frozen like a wooden sculpture, speechless for a long time.
She was extremely surprised, never expecting Pei Zan to make such a promise.
Lin Rong leaned obediently on Pei Zan's shoulder. She smelled the faint scent of blood and suppressed the urge to feel morning sickness.
“I used to be a slave in the Pei family. Later, I was redeemed and became a respectable woman… My family background is not prominent, and I have no one in my clan to help me. I can be described as lonely and helpless. I cannot bring any assistance to the Grand Commander, so how can I be worthy to be your principal wife and the mistress of the Pei family?”
Lin Rong was not a woman blinded by a little wealth and glory. She knew that Pei Zan was a man of high position and great power, and that he was using such means to lure her into staying and ensuring the safety of her unborn child. If she were to believe him and think that Pei Zan was deeply in love with her, then she would be in real trouble.
As expected, Pei Zan lowered his phoenix eyes, pondered for a moment, and said to her, "I don't like to be close to others, and that's why I'm almost thirty and still have no children. Since I'm going to conquer the world in the future, I should have offspring to inherit the family business... Lin Rong, your child has come at the right time. Whether it's a boy or a girl, it will be enough to help me stabilize the morale of the army and let the generals know that the Pei family has successors and can continue its glory for generations."
This was Pei Zan's reason for giving himself.
The reason he promoted a concubine who came from a humble background was because he had few children and did not want to be near other women...
Admittedly, he must have liked Lin Rong. Otherwise, he wouldn't have ordered a doctor to help her recover and hoped for her good health.
Pei Zan had never loved anyone before, and he himself didn't know how deep his feelings could be or to what extent.
It was truly remarkable that Lin Rong could gain some favoritism from Pei Zan.
She should appreciate it.
Upon hearing this, Lin Rong felt not dejected, but rather relieved.
This kind of weighing of pros and cons is the cruel and ruthless Pei Zan she knows.
If he truly treated her sincerely, Lin Rong would be at a loss.
Lin Rong wasn't a stupid woman. Since she was going to give birth to this child, she wanted to improve her situation as much as possible.
She didn't refuse Pei Zan again, but frowned and said, "I don't like the blood on you, it makes me want to vomit..."
Pei Zan was also a first-time father; he released Lin Rong and stepped back a little.
Pei Zan lowered his gaze inexplicably and glanced at Lin Rong's still flat stomach... It was hard to imagine that a child with half of his blood and bones would be born in this world.
Perhaps it was Pei Zan's gaze that was too intense, because when Lin Rong looked up at him, she subconsciously covered her lower abdomen.
"Are you feeling unwell?" Pei Zan's voice carried an unconscious worry.
Lin Rong nodded: "The smell of blood makes my stomach feel uncomfortable, and I can't eat anything."
Pei Zan frowned: "We'll be setting off back to the city tomorrow. If you'd like anything to eat, just tell the servants."
Knowing that he carried enemy blood and would displease Lin Rong, he turned and lifted the curtain to leave the tent to change his armor and robes.
Lin Rong stared at the swaying tent flaps, glanced down at her stomach, and felt her heart sink.
In six or seven months, around early summer next May, she will give birth to a child of her own blood.
Is it a boy or a girl? Will she be beautiful and intelligent?
Even though Lin Rong disliked Pei Zan, she knew he was fair-skinned and handsome, with truly exceptional looks... The child she and Pei Zan had together would probably be very good-looking.
Will Lin Rong gradually begin to accept Pei Zan's gifts and favors because of the arrival of this child?
She even endured humiliation for the sake of her child, and began to compete for her husband's favor like the concubines and mistresses of the Pei family, constantly being jealous and envious.
Will Lin Rong gradually become blinded by wealth and luxury?
Will she gradually forget the leisurely days of settling in Liangzhou and the carefree life of riding a horse across the plains?
Will she start to settle for a cramped, comfortable backyard?
Every day she can only sit alone in that square courtyard, smiling and waiting for her children and husband to come home, with no life of her own.
Is Lin Rong starting to compromise...?
A sudden surge of immense sadness welled up in Lin Rong's heart, but she knew that she would soon become numb and insensitive, and would no longer be able to feel this pain.
Because Lin Rong was born a mortal, in order to survive, she would adapt to those boring and tedious days and then find other ways to survive.
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A month later, Lin Rong followed Pei Zan's army to Qingzhou in the south.
Qingzhou borders Liangzhou, which makes it convenient for Pei Zan to receive the batch of warhorses bred in Liangzhou, train the cavalry, and lead his army north to attack the capital of Wei in the late spring when the frost and snow melt.
Feng Shu had already been warned by Pei Zan and knew that Lin Rong was going to be promoted to the position of Grand Commander's official wife.
When the mistress of the house returned to the mansion, Uncle Feng dared not be negligent in the slightest.
The house in Qingzhou was newly built, and Uncle Feng specially led Lin Rong to stay in the main courtyard where Pei Zan slept at night.
Because Lin Rong is currently pregnant, it is not convenient to hold a wedding ceremony. All the wedding procedures have been put on hold, and they will be slowly arranged after she gives birth.
Uncle Feng knew perfectly well that a concubine's good fortune was entirely due to the child in her womb.
This is Pei Zan's eldest son; there can be no mishaps.
Uncle Feng was an old servant who watched Pei Zan grow up, and he hoped that his master would have many children and grandchildren.
After waiting for many years, Uncle Feng finally welcomed his young master. He was overjoyed and treated Lin Rong like a goddess, even giving bonuses to the servants working at the Pei residence.
By the twelfth lunar month, Lin Rong was nearly five months pregnant, and her belly was beginning to show.
The good thing is that Lin Rong is no longer experiencing morning sickness and no longer frequently vomits all over Pei Zan's clothes.
The bad thing is that Lin Rong began to feel heavy-hearted and sleepy every day. Even when Pei Zan returned home from training troops and doing official business, she still did not fulfill her wifely duties by rushing to greet him. Instead, she would slump weakly on the pillow, hugging a hand warmer and taking a nap, and could not be woken up even when called.
It was the dead of winter in the twelfth lunar month, and the weather was cold.
As soon as Pei Zan entered the room, he would take off his snow-covered robes and hang them on the wooden rack. He would then walk to the charcoal brazier to dry off the cold before reaching out to hug Lin Rong.
For Pei Zan, Lin Rong's pregnancy was a novelty. Having eaten more meat and supplements, she had gained weight, her cheeks becoming rosy, her hips fuller, and even her breasts rounder and fuller.
Her whole body was soft and limp. When Pei Zan held her in his arms, she was still feeling lazy and closed her eyes to doze off.
At this time, Pei Zan would close his eyes slightly and use his long, calloused fingers to squeeze into the girl's clothes to caress and entwine her.
He would even occasionally pinch or rub it mischievously, which made Lin Rong so angry that she shoved him away: "It's so itchy."
Pei Zan withdrew his hand and then lazily embraced her again.
"It's good to be a little chubby... but pregnant women should still pay attention to their diet to prevent the baby from getting too big and making delivery difficult."
Lin Rong had a doctor to look after her, so she couldn't overeat and feed the baby too much. However, her health wasn't good, so she needed to eat nourishing soups and stewed meats to prevent weakness during childbirth and complications. She could only eat as much as she could.
A layer of windproof felt blanket was draped over the carved window sill, and a gap was left in the door to allow the charcoal fire to spread out.
The golden sparks from the charcoal brazier wafted into the eight-panel screen carved with a Bodhisattva giving birth to a child, adding a touch of warmth to Pei Zan's dark eyes.
Lin Rong curled up in Pei Zan's arms and continued to sleep.
The thick brocade robe was pulled down to the woman's bulging belly, and Pei Zan pressed it down with his large palm, so that not a breath of air could get in.
Pei Zan embraced his wife, feeling a rare sense of leisure and domestic bliss.
But Lin Rong was sweating profusely and in a bad mood, so she opened her eyes.
She sat up from Pei Zan's arms, her head still foggy from just waking up. She stared intently at the dark Bodhi beads strung on Pei Zan's wrist and said, "Young Master, there's something I've always wanted to ask you."
"Hmm?" Pei Zan responded lazily.
Why can't you see blood on New Year's Eve...?
It's now the dead of winter, and Uncle Feng is starting to prepare for the New Year.
When reprimanding his servants, Uncle Feng gave them earnest instructions, urging them to be careful and not to kill chickens or ducks in the inner quarters, lest the blood spill and offend Pei Zan.
In the past, Lin Rong might not have dared to ask such private questions, but now that she is "pregnant and powerful because of her son," she should still have some dignity in front of Pei Zan, so he wouldn't dare to attack Lin Rong, a pregnant woman.
Whether Lin Rong's judgment was correct or Pei Zan was always good-natured, he wasn't annoyed by what he heard. He simply pulled Lin Rong back into his arms, curved his lips slightly, and asked, "Want to know?"
"Hmm." Lin Rong was beaten when she was young, and the first time she was saved by Pei Zan was on New Year's Eve.
Although she understood that Pei Zan didn't have that much good intention, she just wanted to know the inside story.
Pei Zan gently stroked the prayer beads on his wrist and said calmly, "It is the anniversary of my birth mother's death... On New Year's Eve, she was beaten to death in the courtyard by the First Madam with a copper wire whip dipped in salt."
Lin Rong had indeed heard that Pei Zan was not Shen's biological son, but rather that the eldest son of the main wife was recorded as the eldest son of the legitimate wife because the eldest son of a concubine was of low birth.
Having witnessed such unsavory secrets today, she felt a pang of regret.
Feeling ashamed, Lin Rong offered a dry apology: "I'm sorry... The deceased is gone, and the living must grieve in moderation."
Pei Zan gave a slight twitch of his lips, but didn't say anything more.
He doesn't seem sad, so why should we grieve?
Pei Zan had actually stopped reminiscing about the past for a long time.
Pei Zan's biological mother was a concubine who was forcibly taken into the Pei family by the eldest master. She was strong-willed and even injured the eldest master's manhood after giving birth to Pei Zan.
Everyone said that the concubine had gone mad and wanted to monopolize Master Pei's favor, which was why she resorted to such a vicious tactic.
Such a wicked woman deserved to be beaten to death by the matriarch.
But Pei Zan knew that his birth mother not only did not want the eldest son of the Pei family's favor, but also hated Pei Zan to the core.
The sentence that her birth mother often repeated was: If I hadn't given birth to such a lowly bastard like you, how could I have been trapped in a cage because of having offspring?
That New Year's Eve, the wind and snow were very heavy.
Four-year-old Pei Zan stood indifferently under the corridor, hidden in the shadows, quietly watching the newly arrived Madam Shen, who found an excuse to punish her birth mother with a whip.
When Shen struck, each lash was heavy and brutal, breaking the skin to the bone, tearing flesh, and leaving blood everywhere.
The snowflakes in the courtyard were tinged with red plum blossoms, and everywhere was covered with the blood shed by Pei Zan's biological mother.
Pei Zan watched as his birth mother gritted her teeth, a smile playing on her lips, enduring the torture.
The birth mother had no will to live. She did not admit her mistake and even deliberately provoked Shen, hoping to die in this flogging.
Pei Zan witnessed his mother lying in a pool of blood, but he felt no emotion or fear.
Pei Zan remained silent. He neither shouted nor cried out, nor did he feel any grief. He simply felt nauseous.
Beneath the thin robe that Pei Zan wore, there were bloody wounds everywhere.
There were bloody holes from the thorns.
There are burn scars from being burned with a hot stick.
It was all punishment from my birth mother.
She hated Pei Zan so much that she deliberately used torture to abuse her own child.
It seemed that this would appease the resentment that had been buried deep in her heart for many years.
Those tiny wounds lay one by one on Pei Zan's tender body.
The pain was so intense that Pei Zan had to curl up and grit her teeth to endure it every night in order to get a moment of peace.
For him, the death of his birth mother was a kind of relief.
The absence of blood on New Year's Eve was not to commemorate his mother, but because Pei Zan did not want to recall the past... He did not want to see his own weak, tearful eyes from his youth again.
Author's Note: My darlings, the next chapter (Chapter 51) will be released before midnight on Sunday. There might be a break on Saturday because the next chapter is quite long, and I want to finish it all in one go!
The break isn't because I'm not writing anymore, but because the story is very long and I don't want to break it up. I need to cut back on my writing. I estimate I won't finish until Sunday, and it might be around 10,000 words. Please bear with me while I wait. Of course, I might finish it all in one go and update on Saturday, who knows? But to be on the safe side, let's take a break on Saturday. Don't rush me; I'll finish writing it all before I post it.
No spoilers! I'll just continue writing my story, which might be different from what you expect. Anyway, like I said, feel free to stop anytime if you feel uncomfortable. I'm just a storyteller, and I'll just do my job. Mwah!
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