Chapter 07
When she returned home, the lights were off in the living room, only the TV was on, and there was a faint sound of water coming from the kitchen.
Zou Ping changed her shoes more gently. The smell of paint from the studio still lingered on her fingertips, and after drying, it had a faint smell of oil.
She turned on the light and hung her bag at the entrance. Just then, the sound of water in the kitchen stopped.
Tang Yuchuan walked out of the kitchen, still wearing the light blue shirt he had worn when he left the house that morning, with his sleeves rolled up to his forearms and the second button of his collar undone. He walked into the living room with a glass of water in his hand and glanced up at her.
"Why so late?"
"There was a student and no one came to pick him up, so I waited with him for a while." Zou Ping said in a calm tone.
"Oh." He nodded, put the water on the coffee table, sat down on the sofa, and continued to stare at the financial news on TV.
Tang Yuchuan turned the TV volume very low, and Zou Ping could not hear the specific content at all if she did not listen carefully. She only caught a few words occasionally.
"Have you had dinner?" he asked suddenly.
"I ate something spicy at the door of the studio."
"Yeah." Tang Yuchuan nodded, as if accepting an insignificant fact. He didn't ask any more questions, nor did he show any concern.
There was no speech for a moment.
The only sounds in the room were the low background noise of the television and the slight hum of the refrigerator. Even the curtains were drawn so tightly that not even the night light wanted to come in.
Zou Ping looked down at her hands on her knees and suddenly realized a question she hadn't thought about for a long time - it seemed that there had never been any "life" between her and Tang Yuchuan.
It seemed that they only had some intersection, they lived together, but there was no sense of life between them. No gossip, no quarrels, no real intimacy, and no casualness.
As soon as she enters the door, she automatically switches to a "standby mode" - cautious, restrained, decent and quiet.
It seemed that he was the same. This was clearly his home, but he didn't feel very natural. In this home, he was calm, reserved, serious and distant.
When they get together, they are often silent, without any warmth of life.
In fact, they are not like this outside.
Tang Yuchuan, the president of a new energy vehicle company, possessed an elegant demeanor and gentle manner, yet exuded a firmness and charisma that could not be ignored. She had seen him speak eloquently in interviews, his unhurried demeanor and sincere expressions making it impossible not to replay them several times.
As for Zou Ping, whether as an art teacher or just as herself, when she steps out of the house, she is always cheerful and cheerful, carrying the flavor of life. Whether it's being admired in the studio today or the unpleasantness at school or at home a few years ago, her emotions are all vivid...
But once they returned to the house, all the colors and warmth seemed to be sucked away. They became like two silent machines, mechanical and rigid. It seemed as if this house had some magic that could magnify the distance between them, and also sever certain warmth and truth.
How can you produce the fruits you like in this kind of atmosphere?
If this feeling hadn't happened to her, she wouldn't want to believe it. But the feeling was too real.
She was attracted to him, an attraction that she couldn't pull herself away from.
She felt the attraction, bright yet distant, gentle yet cold.
She was attracted by the weight of silence, like being swept into the abyss by the tide. She knew the danger but was reluctant to break free.
She had an indescribable desire in her heart, a desire to find a sense of being alive in the desolation he brought, like a desire to touch some living pulse in the indifference.
Zou Ping began to analyze herself, her likes, and her status.
This was also a bad habit she developed after she met Tang Yuchuan and fell in love with him.
The contradiction between being attracted to him and not wanting to admit it made her feel like she was competing with herself, or perhaps silently torturing herself.
Just like now.
The little bit of enthusiasm she brought back from the studio, Mai Sheng's words, Mai Tian's paintings, and even the confidence that had once risen in her heart, all sank in this room, like a drop of ink falling on the water, spreading and diluting silently, and finally disappearing.
It's not that she can't make a living. She has the expertise and experience, and it's not that she can't paint again. It's just that—whenever she faces Tang Yuchuan, she automatically stands on the edge of life, as if she must rely on him to survive. And this attitude isn't imposed by him; it's her own.
This is the scariest part.
She suddenly felt a little breathless.
"Today in the studio..." she began, trying to say something else, "a student drew a flying moon that flew up into the sky to find the sun. I thought it was very interesting."
Tang Yuchuan didn't turn his head, but just said "hmm", as if he heard it, but also as if he didn't really listen.
She suddenly didn't want to continue talking.
The room was empty, and even the air began to smell thin.
She remembered what Mai Sheng had said: "What you create is what you create, and no one can take that power away."
She thought: I don’t have to live here. She can teach painting, share a house or rent a house on her own. In the future, she can have her own studio and her own paintings.
But she said nothing.
Because she knew that Tang Yuchuan would not stop her, she might feel a little disappointed, but that was all.
She could leave, but she didn't want to. Zou Ping knew that this was the most terrifying thing. Before, she could still lie to herself and say that she had no other choice, but now, she realized that she really had no other choice. It was just that it wasn't because of survival, but because of her heart.
After a long time, Zou Ping spoke again, her voice was soft, as if she was talking about someone else's life.
"Next weekend, the studio is organizing a sketching trip for students to Qinglong Gorge for two days and one night. I might have to lead the team."
This time, Tang Yuchuan raised his head and glanced at her: "Qinglong Gorge? To the north of the city?"
She nodded.
"That's nice," he said casually. "The scenery over there is quite nice in autumn."
Then he lowered his head again and continued to browse his phone, just like the glance just now, it was just a polite pause.
She didn't say anything, just staring at him silently. The light shone on his profile, his features were clearly defined, and everything about him was just right, from his facial features to his emotions.
He didn't ask if she needed to prepare anything, or how many students there were, or if she was willing to go. It was like listening to a business trip arrangement that had nothing to do with her, rather than an unexpected event in their lives.
"Do you think you can go?" she asked.
Tang Yuchuan looked up and glanced at her, his tone calm and gentle, "Go if you want to. However, the environment in Qinglong Gorge is complex, so you must pay more attention to safety when taking students, especially near the water and on the mountain roads."
"I know." Zou Ping liked the way Tang Yuchuan was being serious about his instructions. She thought, this was none of his business, and he didn't need her permission. She insisted on asking, probably because she wanted to hear his instructions.
"Have you booked the hotel and other things? Who else in the studio will be responsible for it?" Tang Yuchuan continued to ask.
"Ah?" Zou Ping was stunned for a moment. She was listening to him very seriously, but somehow missed the content of his words.
"Didn't you say we need to stay overnight? Has everything been arranged at the hotel? Is it someone else in the studio who is responsible for it?" Tang Yuchuan repeated it again, in more detail than the last time.
"Oh, no reservation, we are camping." Zou Ping answered quickly, like a student caught distracted by the teacher, anxious to restore the impression.
"It's better to have a record. Your class is full of children, and there are a lot of things to do during camping. If something goes wrong, it will be a big trouble." Tang Yuchuan looked serious, as if he was really worried.
"It's okay, most students are accompanied by their parents, so there's no need to worry." Zou Ping was optimistic.
Seeing her smile so relaxed, he didn't bother her anymore.
"Tents and equipment must be checked in advance, and emergency medicines, power banks, and other things must be prepared. It's two days and one night, so time must be planned well."
He paused, then added, "In emergencies, safety comes first. You should lead the team with your own ideas, but don't be too stubborn. If anything happens, you need to know how to find help in time."
"Yeah," she responded softly, "I'll remember that."
There was another silence.
"Do you... want to go with me?" Zou Ping asked. Her voice was a little low, and her quietly clenched fists contained the courage she had accumulated.
Tang Yuchuan looked up, his eyes swept over her calmly, and he did not answer immediately.
"Students can bring their parents, and teachers can bring their families," Zou Ping quickly explained. "Friends can bring their friends, too, but each person can only bring one person."
"Didn't you just say that the autumn scenery in Qinglong Gorge is beautiful?" she added, her tone calm but with a subtle anticipation, "The air is fresh and the mountain roads are quiet."
He looked at her, neither nodding nor shaking his head, as if thinking.
"The students' drawings are quite interesting," Zou Ping said softly, a hint of tenderness in her eyes. "One child drew a flying moon, saying it wanted to fly to find the sun. Another drew a tree with wings, saying it wanted to fly into the sky and see the world. And another child drew a fish jumping out of the water, wanting to become a bird."
She paused, lowering her voice slightly. "Their imagination is very free and pure. Maybe you'll like it."
Tang Yuchuan's eyes flickered slightly, but he didn't say much.
He knew that the environment of Qinglong Gorge was not friendly to him - the humid valley and the occasional mountain breeze could trigger his severe allergic asthma.
These special circumstances forced him to remain vigilant at all times.
But seeing the expectation in Zou Ping's eyes, he did not refuse.
"If I have time, I will go." His voice was still calm, but he did not give a definite answer.
Zou Ping looked at his expression, but she felt a hint of indifference. It would be a lie to say she wasn't disappointed.
His indifference was like a barrier, making her want to get closer but being pushed away.
But even so, she still couldn't let go.
Like, sometimes it is so contradictory.
Tang Yuchuan looked down at the cup in his hand. He knew in his heart that the girl in front of him had brought a touch of color to his life.
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