The smoke was lingering around like a white cage, which would disperse when a gust of wind came, and it was not very solid.

Xu Yan held the bottle of mineral water and looked out to see many trees standing in the night. He didn't quite understand why Liang Yisheng suddenly asked him if he liked Zhuo Lu. He thought Liang Yisheng already knew what he was thinking.

Otherwise, why did he kiss him at Lushuiting?

Or, even if he didn't know before kissing him, he should have known after the kiss. When he told Liang Yisheng "I'm not Qingshu", wasn't he telling him clearly that he was the only one who didn't get out of the situation? If he didn't like him, why would he be willing to be kissed by him?

Xu Yan's mind turned slowly, and he thought slowly, it turned out that Liang Yisheng didn't know. He also wondered why he thought he liked Zhuo Lu, and he went back to the beginning and the end, all the way to the first time the two met. At that time, Xu Yan was lying in the hotel, and he had just returned from an event. His smile was very stiff, and he was very tired. He turned on the hotel TV to listen to it in the background.

Was Zhuo Lu's drama playing on TV?

It seemed so. He vaguely remembered that he saw Zhuo Lu's face, and thought that if he continued to hang around in the entertainment industry, he would be able to say a word to Zhuo Lu one day, so as to ask for an autograph for Mother Xu.

Xu Yan had forgotten about this a long time ago, completely forgotten.

He just turned on the TV casually, and Zhuo Lu's hit drama at the time was broadcast on several satellite TV stations. It was just a coincidence

. But once the valve of memory was opened, Xu Yan could suddenly remember more things. Can remember when he went to meet Lu Jiahong, Liang Yisheng asked him, what about you? Xu Yan now roughly understands that in Liang Yisheng's eyes, Qingshu is himself. He is with Liang Yisheng in order to go to a better world - that is, to get to know Zhuo Lu. Can remember when he gave Lu Jiahong some advice, Liang Yisheng got angry and didn't like him to show off too much, because Zhuo Lu likes to watch plays with directors and likes to give his own opinions. Many directors like Zhuo Lu and say that he is a very spiritual actor.

Xu Yan's heart beats violently, as if there is a war in his chest.

Why? In this case, will Liang Yisheng fall in love with "Qingshu"? Liang Yisheng should hate "Qingshu" very much, just like he hates himself.

"Liang..."

"Xu Yan, you can see stars here."

Xu Yan was interrupted after saying one word. He pursed his lips, took another step forward, and stood in front of Liang Yisheng. Summer nights are suitable for stargazing. The sky is open and the night is also bright, but it is blocked by the shadows of tall trees. The stars are hidden in the trees.

"I don't like Zhuo Lu." Xu Yan raised his head. There was a star twinkling, sometimes bright and sometimes dark. Xu Yan looked at it, "Liang Yisheng, do you think I lied when Guan Xiaoli interviewed me? I said I entered the circle for you."

"You said at noon that it was because you wanted to experience a different life."

Xu Yan stood in front and couldn't see Liang Yisheng's expression. Hearing his steady tone, he nodded: "I didn't lie. I want to experience a different life, but..." Xu Yan paused, not knowing whether to continue. He felt that tonight was the only time he could have a heart-to-heart talk with Liang Yisheng. If he missed it, there would be no future. But some words have been hidden in his heart for too long. When he suddenly said them out

loud, he would feel that he was acting unwillingly, performing a one-man show without an audience. He lowered his head, and the twinkling stars in front of him turned into soil, yellow and gray, mixed with grass that was stepped on and crawling on the ground. He said in a very small voice, "But it was you who made me realize that there is a more wonderful life. It's not Zhuo Lu, it's you."

Xu Yan often wondered if he would be able to confess his love to Liang Yisheng one day.

For him, liking Liang Yisheng was not a simple thing. It was not simply one person liking another person. It was a dull, boring, pale person who saw extremely beautiful colors one day, yearned for them, but was miserable.

Xiao Yuan always said that Xu Yan was very Buddhist, saying that even if the sky fell, he would just blink and say it was okay, and that there was no need to be so nervous. When Xu Yan was in middle school, he always wore black, white and gray clothes. Director Xu liked him to wear such low-key colors, and felt that he was stable. But Xu's mother would occasionally say to Xu Yan: "You should wear bright colors at your age. When you are old, you can't wear green or purple."

Xu Yan smiled and said it was okay. He really liked to say it was okay.

Many people wear black, white and gray to look cool, but Xu Yan felt that he should wear such colors. Otherwise, this body covered with colorful clothes would only make him look more boring. He did not have a spirited look, did not like to talk, and always sat quietly in his seat reading.

How boring.

He thought about it for a long time and felt that he should not confess to Liang Yisheng. He felt

uncomfortable after he finished speaking, thinking that Lu Shuting had already confessed that time, but he didn't expect that Liang Yisheng didn't understand it at all. He thought that something that would never happen happened twice, which completely overdrawn Xu Yan's courage.

He rarely had so much courage in his life, and it was all overdrawn at once.

He turned around and walked back. When he passed by Liang Yisheng, he almost tripped over the doorstep in a hurry. But the camera was set up in the middle of the wooden house, and he would be in the camera when he returned to the room. Although the program had to be edited when it was broadcast, Xu Yan subconsciously slowed down his pace and tried his best to pretend to be calm.

His wrist was pulled back by a force, and the mineral water bottle in his hand suddenly slipped out of his hand, fell on the wooden floor with a "clang", and rolled to the side.

"Wait..." Xu Yan couldn't say the words to stop him, Liang Yisheng had already kissed him. He thought of too many things at once, not understanding, escaping, and being confused. He stared at the camera next to him, which was almost facing the two of them. He turned his head suddenly to let himself escape from this sudden kiss first, and took a deep breath: "Camera!" "

Let him take the picture." Liang Yisheng pinched his waist and pressed him against the wood used as a weighing beam next to him. The kiss was about to fall again, and Xu Yan's expression looked like he was about to cry. It was obvious that he was going to kiss him, but his expression was full of loneliness of being abandoned.

Liang Yisheng really couldn't help it, and forced himself to kiss his right earlobe. He knew what Xu Yan was afraid of, that he would kiss him and call out Qingshu's name, so he told him: "I know who you are, Xu Yan."

This was the first time Xu Yan got a kiss from Liang Yisheng.

It belonged to him completely, not to someone else or another character. From this moment on, Xu Yan began to dislike the camera, and was still wondering why he had to be in front of the camera? As actors, whether it was himself or Liang Yisheng, as long as they faced the camera, there would always be some acting elements. This was engraved in his bones.

He was so breathless from the kiss that he was still struggling, wanting Liang Yisheng to avoid the camera and give up all his desire to perform. He struggled so hard that tears almost fell, and his eyes were red. The longer the kiss lasted, the more Xu Yan felt that he couldn't bear it, as if... as if Liang Yisheng loved him that much, but he couldn't find a reason to love him. He felt empty underneath, like they were kissing on the edge of a cliff, and the next second they would die because of their love for romance. Liang Yisheng

finally decided to end the kiss, and the two of them leaned against each other to breathe. Xu Yan didn't dare to look at the camera, and huddled in front of Liang Yisheng, grabbing his clothes with both hands, wrinkling his short-sleeved shirt.

"Was that offensive to you?" Liang Yisheng asked.

Xu Yan closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Then why didn't you want to?" he asked again.

"I... I didn't want to." Xu Yan's words were stuck and he could only say this.

He didn't know how to describe his feelings, and sometimes he wondered if he really had a mental illness. He thought he had been lucky enough in his childhood and had not experienced the violent events in novels and movies because of his disability, but when the time came, he felt that no one would feel as if their feet were hanging in the air and they were about to fall off something when the person they liked kissed them.

The mineral water bottle was lying quietly at their feet. Liang Yisheng bent down, picked it up, and held it in his hand. He took two steps to the camera, pressed the camera's head, and twisted it to the other side.

Xu Yan watched with his eyes wide open, and his whole body was freed from the camera. He suddenly felt his legs go weak. He leaned back against the wood, which was steamed by the summer night and felt warm to the touch. Liang Yisheng unscrewed the bottle cap with a "click". He raised his head and drank most of the bottle of water in one breath, his Adam's apple rolling, and he threw the bottle with a little water left on the ground.

The transparent liquid flowed out and soon seeped through the gaps in the wooden floor. There was only a small dark mark on the dirt ground below.

"When I saw you standing with Zhuo Lu, I thought more than once that it would have been better if I hadn't saved you. You would have been rotten in the scandal, never to dare to appear in the public eye again, and you would have had no chance to know Zhuo Lu, nor would you have had the chance to know anyone else."

"It was me who saved you, Xu Yan, how could you still have someone else in your eyes?"

Xu Yan lowered his head and breathed carefully, almost frightened, and couldn't believe that these were the words that Liang Yisheng said. He gently tied his scarf for him, called him Teacher Xu with a smile, and called him to ask if he was willing to act in Lu Jiahong's play.

This person turned off the camera, turned his back to the camera, and said to him in a deep and impatient voice, "It's better to let you die in the scandal. How can you still have other people in your eyes?"

Xu Yan heard his clear breathing, and with a trembling voice, he called his name: "Liang Yisheng...?"

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Posted early today, wishing everyone a happy new year~ I have a lucky draw on my Weibo, if you are interested, you can go and participate! @This