Chapter 1 How to describe the sweltering summer?
Suffering Summer
By Zhi Jiu
How to describe summer? Mentioning you always seems to carry a bittersweet feeling.
-
In the summer of 2019, Shen Qingli got her first internship.
The unbearably hot summer weather is unpredictable, and the torrential rain gives people no chance to react.
After lunch break, Shen Qingli put down her soaked umbrella at the company entrance and walked into the office, touching her wind-dried bangs.
"Qingli." Hearing the noise at the door, her colleague Lu Ning greeted her from his workstation.
Shen Qingli nodded to her, then looked around and saw that almost everyone had arrived, so she quickly sat back down at her workstation.
When Lu Ning saw her coming over, he was about to lean in and say something to her, but he was interrupted before he could say anything.
"Qingli, there's still a problem with this interview transcript. I've marked it for you. Please revise it." Chen Nan walked over to Shen Qingli with the document in his hand and spoke to her gently about the problem.
“Okay, Master.” Shen Qingli obediently took the manuscript, gave Lu Ning an apologetic look, and the other party winked at her, meaning that she should go ahead and get busy. So she began to work seriously.
-
After she finished dealing with her things, Lu Ning, who had just noticed she was busy, came up to her again.
"Qingli, Qingli," she called softly.
Shen Qingli understood immediately. She put down what she was holding, slightly twisted her neck which had become sore from doing the same thing for a long time, and then said, "Speak up. I've seen you looking like you want to say something ever since you came in. If you don't say it now, you'll be holding it in."
Lu Ning was an intern who joined at the same time as her. The two were about the same age and liked similar things, so they were very good working partners.
Hearing her words, Lu Ning smiled, giving her a knowing look, and continued, "Let me tell you, I read a novel about unrequited love yesterday, it's quite popular lately."
"A story about unrequited love?" Upon hearing this, Shen Qingli paused, looking at her with some surprise. "You're actually interested in reading this kind of story?"
Lu Ning sensed the underlying meaning in her words and feigned displeasure, saying, "What! Can't I even reminisce about the feeling of youth?"
"Oh, sure, who says no?" Seeing that she was about to get impatient again, Shen Qingli chuckled and continued, "Then tell me, what kind of unrequited love novel did you read?"
"Oh right, it's all your fault. We almost went off-topic. It's a tragic story with a bad ending." As she spoke, she took out the book from her phone and handed it to her. "It's written by this author. You can check it out if you're interested."
"A tragic ending? I don't like reading tragic stories." She glanced at the book on Lu Ning's phone. Judging from the number of views, it seemed to have quite a lot of readers, but when she heard that the subject matter was a tragedy, she couldn't help but frown.
Seeing her lack of interest, Lu Ning pouted with a hint of regret, "Alright then, but I saw someone online say that the story that inspired this book happened at your Suzhou No. 1 High School, and that it was written by a senior from the class of 2010. I don't know if it's true or not."
Shen Qingli was looking down, preparing to tidy up the documents on the table, when she suddenly heard the words "Suzhou No. 1 Middle School". Her hand holding the manuscript trembled, and she almost dropped it.
She caught the manuscript just in time, which was about to "fly away," and then, as if nothing had happened, casually said, "Is that so..."
“Yes.” Lu Ning nodded. She had only said it casually as a joke, but she did not expect Shen Qingli to react so strongly.
Suddenly, as if she had caught another whiff of gossip, she leaned closer again and asked in a cheeky tone, "What's wrong? Why are you reacting so strongly to your alma mater? Is there some story behind it?"
Seeing her frivolous expression, Shen Qingli nudged her with her elbow, speechless.
Seeing that she wouldn't say anything and he couldn't get any gossip out of her, Lu Ning had no choice but to tactfully go and chat with his colleague on the other side.
She seemed determined to "sell" the novel she had just read, and then she said almost the same thing to her colleague next to her.
However, the other party's response was clearly much different from Shen Qingli's.
"This book is really popular lately."
"There's a lot of resonance here. It seems that unrequited love is indeed a common but unspeakable secret for many people."
Because Lu Ning started this discussion, several colleagues in the office joined in and talked about the topic of "unrequited love." Group A had just interviewed someone about a related story, and that story of unrequited love touched many people.
So they started talking again about whether it's possible for someone to have a single, unrequited love for another person—a sincere and perhaps never-ending unrequited love—in reality.
Shen Qingli sat at her workstation, listening to their casual conversation.
"Hey Xiaoning, do you really believe this story exists in real life?" a colleague suddenly asked.
"I don't know either. I haven't experienced the kind of feelings described in the book. I just see people saying it online."
"To be honest, I don't believe it. Where in this world can there be a relationship that lasts for over a decade? Especially in this fast-paced era of dating, people treat liking or disliking someone like it's nothing. Where do you find someone who's truly committed?" the colleague said, sharing her opinion after hearing her answer.
Lu Ning listened to her words but did not reply, it was unclear whether she agreed or disagreed.
"You can't say that, can you? What if it really is true?" A colleague next to her chimed in with a laugh. Seeing that Shen Qingli was sitting in her seat and not participating in their conversation, she took the initiative to say, "By the way, Qingli, you're from Suzhou No. 1 High School, right? Oh right, and your mentor, isn't she also from Suzhou No. 1 High School?"
Hearing someone suddenly call their names, Shen Qingli and Chen Nan looked up, exchanged a glance, and then nodded.
"You two, master and disciple, are quite destined to meet. You both graduated from the same high school. By the way, Qingli, which year were you in?"
"Class of 2012," she replied with a forced smile.
"If it's true, then it was written by Qingli's senior. Hey, Chen Nan, what about you? Which year were you in?" Lu Ning continued to ask curiously.
"Me?" She was a little surprised to be asked this question. After a moment of confusion, she said, "I graduated in 2010."
"What a coincidence! Sister Chen Nan, do you know anything about the inside story?"
Seeing that Lu Ning was still gossiping, Shen Qingli helplessly called out to her, "Can you please stop reading those unfounded rumors online?"
Perhaps realizing that it was impolite of her to keep asking, she smiled apologetically at Chen Nan and said that she was just asking casually.
Fortunately, Chen Nan was easygoing and didn't mind her abruptness.
She just smiled faintly, but a barely perceptible hint of embarrassment flashed in her eyes.
She said "It's okay" and continued with her work.
After chatting for a while, everyone dispersed and went about their own business.
-
In the afternoon, Lu Ning, the gossip queen, went out with her colleagues, leaving the office suddenly much less crowded.
Shen Qingli sat at her workstation lost in thought, not even hearing Chen Nan come over and call her.
"Qingli...Qingli?" Chen Nan gently shook her shoulder.
She then came to her senses and said, "Huh? What's wrong, senior?"
Although they are officially a mentor and apprentice at work, Chen Nan told her on her first day that calling her "master" sounded too formal and made her seem old. In reality, they were only a few years apart in age, so Shen Qingli called her "senior sister" more often in private.
Without thinking for a moment, she blurted it out.
"I've called you several times, but you haven't heard me. What's wrong? Is something on your mind?"
Chen Nan reached out and pulled up a chair next to her, making a move to sit down beside her. He asked her in a very gentle tone, without any hint of blame.
"No, I was just thinking about something." She smiled shyly, looking as if she wanted to say something but hesitated.
Noticing her distress, Chen Nan wasn't in a hurry. In her usual gentle tone, she jokingly asked, "Would you like to share what you're thinking about with me?"
Seeing that she had already said that, Shen Qingli no longer intended to hide it, otherwise it would seem as if this matter was too important or troublesome for her.
Moreover, her senior seemed to always have a kind of approachability that made her unconsciously want to get close to her and feel comfortable confiding her emotions to her.
-
"Senior, do you believe in unrequited love that lasts forever?" She looked up, paused for a moment, and then asked softly.
Upon hearing this, Chen Nan's expression froze for a few seconds, probably not expecting her to bring up this topic. As if she had remembered something, a bitter smile appeared on her lips, and she said inexplicably, "I believe it."
"Really?" Shen Qingli was a little surprised by her answer. "So you also think that there would be someone in this world who would like someone for many years for no reason?"
"Without any reason?" Chen Nan frowned slightly upon hearing those four words. She corrected her, "How can liking someone be considered without any reason?"
After saying that, noticing the puzzled look in her eyes, she cleared her throat and continued with a smile, "If you like him, isn't that the reason?"
Listening to Chen Nan's words, Shen Qingli propped her head up, looking thoughtful. After a long while, she said softly, "But what if you haven't even figured out which one is the real him..."
"What?" Chen Nan asked, not having heard what she said clearly.
"Oh, it's nothing..." She smiled awkwardly, not repeating the sentence she had just muttered.
For her, an unrequited love that she couldn't express was like a sentence without reason—something she couldn't tell anyone aloud.
Seeing that she wouldn't say anything, Chen Nan wisely refrained from pressing her for an answer.
The two resumed their work, tacitly avoiding the topic of unrequited love.
Perhaps everyone has a story hidden in their heart, whether it is sad or happy, but unrequited love has the most similar commonality: it is impossible to tell anyone.
-
After getting off work, Shen Qingli returned to her rented room exhausted. She took a shower and, while waiting for her dinner delivery, inexplicably searched for the name of the author Lu Ning had mentioned during the day—"Chen Yang".
She clicked on the Weibo account of this person and carefully browsed through many of their posts.
"Chen Yang" doesn't seem to be a very talkative person, and she left very few Weibo posts. She scrolled through them a few times and finished reading them.
Your takeout is here!
When the deliveryman's voice came from the doorway, Shen Qingli's hand, which was scrolling through her phone, stopped. She suddenly realized what she was doing, as if waking from a dream.
She quickly put down her phone, realizing that she must have been influenced by what Lu Ning and the others had said during the day, otherwise why would she have looked at things related to these things?
"Just leave it at the door, thank you." She turned her attention back to herself, called out towards the door, and waited a while until she heard the delivery person's footsteps leaving before finally standing up to open the door and get her dinner.
She unpacked the food, turned on the TV in the living room, and sat down to eat.
My phone suddenly vibrated, and several new messages popped up.
She had no choice but to turn her phone back on, and only after unlocking it did she realize that she seemed to have accidentally clicked on one of Chen Yang's Weibo posts.
The post was filled with numerous comments, but the one at the very top was impossible to ignore: "Many people's unrequited love seems to always happen in the summer. If you had to describe your unrequited love in two words, teacher, what would you use?"
The author's intention in commenting was probably simply to get a response from Chen Yang, but unfortunately, the author didn't provide a single word.
But perhaps because this comment received so many likes, it caught the attention of many people, and many netizens naturally followed up with replies.
Tears.
[Dream.]
【journal. 】
...
Some of the answers were similar, while others were quite different.
Her gaze faltered for a moment, then she hesitated before typing on her phone.
The messages at the top of her phone screen kept popping up, and the noisy notification sounds were making her inexplicably irritable, making it impossible for her to concentrate on reading the comments below.
So she had no choice but to open WeChat, only to find that it was the old, long-dormant group chat from her high school that was sending messages.
She frowned slightly when she opened the chat window, wondering why she was still in this group. In her memory, she should have left any groups related to high school or university.
While thinking, she scrolled to the top of the message and found that it was a message from Luo Yiqiu tagging everyone. She was her class monitor for three years of high school and also the daughter of the principal of Suzhou No. 1 High School at the time.
I later heard that her father retired a long time ago, but she followed in his footsteps and is now a teacher at the No. 1 Middle School.
Shen Qingli glanced at the message briefly. It turned out that No. 1 High School was going to hold a speech contest for outstanding graduates and was asking if anyone in the group would like to participate.
Someone in the group joked, asking if they could still get through the school if they were among the worst students in their class back in high school.
Luo Yiqiu laughed a few times, saying that even if they weren't outstanding graduates back then, they could still come together, just like returning to their alma mater after many years, and everyone could take this opportunity to get together.
Seeing her smooth and engaging way of handling the situation, Shen Qingli raised an eyebrow and sighed inwardly that Luo Yiqiu hadn't changed at all over the years, always looking like a good student and an "old cadre".
Unfortunately, she wasn't interested in returning to her alma mater. Suzhou No. 1 High School is different from other schools; it doesn't have many graduating classes each year. In addition, many people leave the group or change their phone numbers after graduation, so there aren't many people in the group.
But there were always those old classmates who loved to join in the fun chatting enthusiastically with Luo Yiqiu. Shen Qingli looked at the various nicknames and avatars in the group. It had been so many years since graduation that she didn't recognize anyone except Luo Yiqiu.
...
The group chat was still going on and on, and she started to think about whether she should leave the group.
But before she could put this idea into practice, she saw the latest message pop up in the group chat, which mentioned a person's name.
[When it comes to inviting outstanding graduates, shouldn't we invite Lin Xiaqing? He was consistently ranked first in our grade back then.]
When Lin Xiaqing's name is mentioned, many people echo her sentiments.
Yeah, yeah.
[However, it seems like we haven't heard anything about Lin Xiaqing all these years. Class monitor, do you know what Lin Xiaqing is doing now?]
[Is this even a question? The person is right there in the group! Just tag them and ask!]
【@summer. 】
She thought that times had really changed. Before, these guys who thought Lin Xia was so cold and intimidating that they didn't dare to get close to him were now so familiar with him.
However, after several people tagged the group repeatedly, none of the tagged individuals showed up.
Seeing that Lin Xiaqing did not appear, Luo Yiqiu was probably afraid of an awkward silence and that everyone would be unhappy, so she quickly came out to speak.
However, it seemed that even she didn't know Lin Xiaqing's whereabouts, and she stammered for a long time without being able to give a clear answer.
But thanks to Lin Xiaqing being mentioned in the group chat, Shen Qingli stopped scrolling through her phone and froze. She clenched her fingers tightly and finally remembered, amidst her bleak memories, the only reason she hadn't left this class group chat.
Because Lin Xiaqing is in it.
...
Thinking of this, she ate her meal and suddenly found it tasteless.
She stopped looking at the messages in the group and went back to Weibo, only to find that her account had suddenly received 99+ likes and comments.
Shen Qingli was stunned, almost thinking she had sent the wrong message and been scolded.
It wasn't until she clicked on the comment that she realized it was her own answer that had caused this "huge uproar." Her reply had been pushed to the top and was extremely conspicuous.
The account named Pear only replied with two words: "Bitter Summer".
A note from the author:
----------------------
Update in progress!
"Unrequited love is like a bitter summer."
As expected, it will be updated every night at 18:00 [shrug].
I hope you all enjoy this story in advance -v-
My next book will probably be: *Spring Days Without a Reply* / *Drowning on Mercury*.
Note: "If you had to use two words to describe your unrequited love, what would you use?" (Source: Internet)
This sentence in the article also comes from a comment by a user under a VB post, but to avoid unnecessary misunderstanding, I'll still acknowledge it as ovo.
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