Chapter 18 Bitter Summer (Part 2) Catching the Last Breeze of Summer...
After a full day of tutoring, the rest of the time was spent watching English movies to learn.
Charlene chose a new movie for them, and also cut up some fruit to bring inside so they could sit and watch the movie together, chatting occasionally.
Unlike many parents, Xia Lin is more like a "friend" type of parent. She doesn't say anything educational for no reason, so Shen Qingli and Xia Qing don't feel uncomfortable.
She watched the movie in front of her, completely absorbed in the television screen, her eyes glued to the screen for a moment.
"Qingli, have some fruit. Why are you looking at it so intently?"
Xia Lin's voice pulled her out of the TV. Shen Qingli came back to her senses, turned around and smiled shyly: "It's nothing, I just think the transitions in this movie are really amazing."
Charlene listened to her words and looked over, but after a while she couldn't figure it out: "Is there any explanation? Auntie can't see anything special about it, but the shots are all quite beautiful."
"Yes, yes, like that scene just now..."
Once she starts talking about the movie, she becomes very talkative.
Xia Qing sat next to her, listening to her speak with a smile using those technical terms she didn't quite understand, and was somewhat surprised.
Charlene was equally surprised and asked, "Qingli, how do you know so much about movies?"
“Oh…when I was little, the village would show open-air movies at regular times. I used to bring a stool to watch them. There was an auntie who showed the movies over there who saw me watching so intently, and she told me some things.” Seeing that the mother and son in front of her were looking at her, Shen Qingli belatedly realized that she had said too much and smiled somewhat embarrassedly: “But these are all things I remembered from when I was very young, so what I said may not be true.”
"You still remember so many things you knew when you were little and can still recite them fluently now, Qingli. I think you have a real talent for making movies," Xia Lin praised with a smile.
"Aunt Xia, please stop teasing me! I'm just interested in movies."
But Xia Lin disagreed with her statement, saying, "It's great to be interested. Many people can turn their interests into their jobs, and maybe you can too. Don't you think so, Xia Qing?"
When his mother suddenly brought it up, he paused for a few seconds before nodding in agreement, "Yes, my mom is right."
As Shen Qingli listened to their words, a different thought arose in her heart for the first time. She had never thought about what she would do in the future. Perhaps she could only follow her family's wishes, get into a university that was good or bad, study a major that she didn't particularly like, and then get a job after graduation.
This was what her mother had told her before, and it seemed to be what her grandparents hoped for most. It was a life that had already been arranged, but for the first time, she felt that perhaps she could take a different path.
Seeing that she was thinking, Xia Lin continued to guide her: "Qingli, you and Xia Qing will be going to high school soon. High school will go by in a short time. Since today's tutoring ended early, why don't you think about which university you want to apply to in the future, set a goal in advance, and then you can work towards that university in the future?"
Xia Qing nodded in agreement. He picked up where his mother left off and asked Shen Qingli, "Are there any universities you'd like to apply to right now?"
"..."
This question clearly stumped her. She smiled somewhat awkwardly and answered truthfully, "Not yet. I haven't thought about it."
But from what she heard, she vaguely sensed that Xia Qing already had a goal, so she continued, "And what about you, Xia Qing? Is there a university you'd like to attend?"
"Me?" He pointed to himself when asked. He glanced at Xia Lin, who nodded at him, signaling him to speak up. So Xia Qing said, "I want to go to Nanjing University. I want to study medicine."
"Studying medicine?" Shen Qingli wasn't too surprised by this answer. His grades had always been excellent, and if he continued to maintain that, getting into Nanjing University in the future wouldn't be a problem.
Now, looking at the man sitting in front of her with a serious expression, she felt that he was already very much like the serious doctors she had seen in the hospital. She felt that all he was missing was a pair of glasses and a white coat to make him look more professional. Thinking this, she joked, "Then I think you would be perfect for it."
"What?" He didn't realize for a moment that the other person was teasing him, and looked puzzled.
Charlene immediately understood, and she laughed along with them. She picked up the fruit plate beside her and went downstairs, leaving the discussion about the "future" to the two of them alone.
-
After she left, Xia Qing finally realized what was happening. He then looked at Shen Qingli with a helpless expression and said, "I was serious, not joking."
"I know." Seeing this, she quickly stopped smiling and explained, "It's just that the way you were thinking so seriously just now looked really familiar, like the doctor who used to treat me. But... why do you want to study medicine? I don't think I've ever heard you mention it before."
"It's nothing. If I had to give a reason, it would probably be the same as yours: I've been interested in medicine since I was a child, so I wanted to study related majors to learn more."
"Oh, I see." She nodded thoughtfully.
"And what about you?" Xia Qing suddenly asked, "Have you ever thought about studying... a major related to filmmaking?"
When asked this, Shen Qingli hesitated. She lowered her head hesitantly and said in a low voice, "My parents and grandparents wouldn't agree. In their eyes, studying this kind of thing is just fooling around. Besides, the required scores for related majors are very high, and I'm not sure..."
She tried to find reasons for this, but her tone grew weaker and weaker.
Xia Qing listened and, unusually, interrupted her: "I'm not asking for your family's opinion, I'm asking you if you have this idea?"
"Me?" Hearing this, she looked up and pointed to herself.
Xia Qingzheng nodded silently to her. Their eyes met in silence, and Shen Qingli looked at his expectant and exceptionally bright eyes, momentarily lost in thought.
Before she could answer, he suddenly continued, "I think it's a cool thing to have things you like. If you only want to understand movies superficially and don't want to go any deeper, then just pretend I didn't say anything. But if that's not what you think, then you might as well think about it."
"Consider...what?"
"Consider how you want to walk your own path in the future. The path you are on is your own, and you decide it yourself. No matter what the future holds, if you don't even dare to think about it and deny it from the beginning, then it's truly impossible."
His voice remained gentle, like a cool breeze on a hot summer day, lightly brushing against her ear, yet carrying a tremendous force.
These words had lingered in her ears for many years since that summer, and even when summer was no longer relevant to her, Shen Qingli never forgot them.
-
She looked at the person in front of her, but her thoughts gradually drifted away.
She wasn't sure if she would continue to compromise in the future, but at least she still had time, and even if it was wishful thinking, she wanted to try.
From that day on, aside from her study time, she began searching for knowledge that interested her in various bookstores, magazines, and extracurricular books. Xia Qing, knowing this, would secretly accompany her.
Throughout the summer, they wandered around various bookstores near their homes, each looking for books that interested them.
Because Xia Lin was a university teacher, Xia Qing's family had a lot of relevant information. From this, Shen Qingli began to truly understand the majors of various prestigious universities and their admission scores in previous years.
In the past, she had never thought about what she would do in the future, so she couldn't even muster any interest. Now that she has some ideas, things are different.
As for her own major, it wasn't a popular one. After filtering through the options, apart from Tsinghua and Peking Universities, only Nanshi University and Suzhou University had consistently good related majors.
“Soochow University and Nanjing University.” Shen Qingli looked at the previous years’ admission scores in her hand and felt a headache coming on.
The cut-off scores for these two schools are very close, not much different from those for Tsinghua and Peking Universities.
"What's wrong?" Xia Qing sat next to her, looking at her tightly furrowed brows, and asked with concern.
"Do you really think I should consider these two universities? What's the difference between this and just asking me to go straight to Tsinghua or Peking University?" She turned her head and asked him incredulously.
Hearing her lack of confidence, Xia Qing frowned as well. He disagreed, saying, "Why can't we consider it? Your foundation isn't bad, you're just a little unbalanced in some subjects. Besides, you've already been admitted to Suzhou No. 1 High School. Every year, countless students from that school are admitted to Tsinghua and Peking Universities. How do you know you can't do it if you don't even try?"
"..."
Upon hearing his words, Shen Qingli was momentarily at a loss for words. This person seemed to trust her far too much.
She cupped her face in her hands, looking embarrassed, and said uncertainly, "Only you would say something like this to me. If my parents knew, they would definitely think I'm delirious from a fever and talking nonsense."
After all, in their eyes, she has always been someone who is not as outstanding as her older sister, Shen Qingyun.
"Then don't worry about them. I've said before, this is your future, the university you're going to. No matter what others think or think, just look at yourself."
Upon hearing this, she looked at Xia Qing and saw that his expression was serious and he didn't seem to be joking. Perhaps he trusted her too much; such certainty and trust were rare in her life.
Thinking of this, Shen Qingli let out a long sigh. For some reason, she didn't want to disappoint the only person who believed in her, nor did she want to disappoint herself. So, as if she had made up her mind, she nodded and replied, "Okay, then I'll give it a try!"
"It's not a 'try,' it's a must-succeed." He could see that she was feeling uneasy, so his tone became much firmer.
Seeing his serious expression, she unusually refrained from making any other jokes and, following his gaze, smiled firmly and said, "Okay!"
After saying that, she continued to look at the things in her hands. Xia Qing couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief when she saw her focused expression.
Building self-confidence is not easy, but it can be done gradually. People always have to step out of their comfort zone before they can move step by step towards a better place.
-
The two were completely absorbed in their task. After a while, Xia Qing stared at what she was holding, suddenly remembering something, and asked abruptly, "But... if you had to choose between Nanjing University and Suzhou University, which would you... choose?"
"What?" Shen Qingli looked up when she heard the voice. She looked at him and didn't immediately understand what he meant.
"I mean... which of these two schools do you prefer? You need to set a specific goal..." After saying that, he lowered his head awkwardly, intentionally avoiding her gaze.
"Oh right... um..." She didn't notice anything unusual about the other person, and instead started thinking seriously.
After a long while, she still didn't answer. Just as he was about to ask again, Shen Qingli finally gave her answer: "If my score is high enough for either of these two schools, then I think I would choose Nanjing University."
"Really?" Hearing the unexpected answer, he looked up, his eyes lighting up, but he tried to maintain his composure and asked calmly, "Why?"
"Well... I just want to go to Nanshi to take a look, mainly because I want to be away from my parents in Suzhou." She said honestly.
Spending these days together has made her no longer need to hide anything from the people in front of her, so she speaks very directly.
For Shen Qingli, her home once had some love from her grandparents, but that love wasn't complete enough or enough to give her freedom. Her mother's love for her child was an undeniable desire to control. Even though her mother could pretend at first because of their initial unfamiliarity, as time went on, she could hardly have her own space and secrets in that city home.
She controlled her and Shen Qingyun's entire lives, and had even taken it upon herself to arrange their future. It seemed that they could only do what she thought and wished, otherwise they would not be satisfied.
Even Shen Qingyun, a daughter cherished by her parents, could not escape this fate.
So naturally, it goes without saying that she herself... So... if she really had a choice, she wouldn't want to stay in Suzhou; she wanted to escape from control.
This was the only solution she could think of at her age.
Before Xia Qing brought it up, she couldn't judge whether her life with Shen Qingyun was good or bad, but his and Xia Lin's appearance showed her a different kind of family and life.
It turns out that parents can also respect their children and completely trust them to make their own major life decisions.
This was the first time she had ever known this, and the first time she had ever refused to submit to this so-called predetermined fate. She wanted to try and take a different path.
She never mentioned this matter to anyone other than Xia Qing.
-
Thinking about this, she suddenly felt uneasy, but she didn't want to continue talking about these things. Since they were discussing dreams, they should be more open and bold.
So she changed the subject: "But if I also get into Nanjing University, then we can be classmates at the same school?"
Mentioning this, she couldn't help but smile slightly, her mood improving a little.
A few days ago, on that afternoon, she worried that when summer ended, she might lose contact with Xia Qing again, since they didn't go to the same high school.
In recent years, the admission scores of Suzhou Foreign Language High School have soared, even surpassing Suzhou No.1 High School at one point to become the top high school in Suzhou. As a result, the two high schools have been secretly competing with each other, and the way they compete is to see which school has a higher undergraduate admission rate. In recent years, they have been going back and forth.
She had once wanted to attend Suzhou Foreign Language School, which, unlike No. 1 High School, was located in the city center and was closer to her original home. However, due to her mother's interference, she ultimately chose Suzhou No. 1 High School. This was simply because her mother mentioned that Shen Qingyun was also in No. 1 High School, so she naturally had to follow in her sister's footsteps.
She felt that this kind of life was meaningless. Did she have to follow in Shen Qingyun's footsteps when she took the college entrance exam? She was clearly an independent person with her own thoughts and decisions.
She had never imagined that she would have any contact with Xia Qing again, especially after learning from her grandparents that he had been admitted to Suzhou Foreign Language School.
But things just seemed to be going wrong. She had never taken this matter seriously before, and even secretly rejoiced that she wasn't in the same high school as him. But now, after only a month, she suddenly felt a little sad. They weren't in the same school, so she would be all alone again, losing her only close friend.
But... if they can get into the same city and the same school, then they can continue to chat and talk together.
After thinking it over, she found herself longing for Nanjing University even more. It seemed that if she went there, she could truly start a completely new life.
-
Xia Qing was surprised that she would say that, and looked at her bright eyes that were sparkling with happiness. The afternoon sun shone through the glass window and fell on her, as if she was surrounded by a hazy light.
Shen Qingli's pupil color is different from others, and it is even more obvious under the warm sunlight.
Her pupils were amber, and he noticed them the first time he looked into them. They were beautiful, like an unpolished but dazzling diamond, attracting him unintentionally.
Under the warm afternoon sun, he followed up on her words and tentatively asked in a soft voice, "Would you like to be my classmate in university?"
"Of course I'd love to!" she said, smiling at him without a hint of hesitation.
She used to think that being in the same school and class as this person meant being compared to others, which she found too stressful and annoying. But people are probably just prone to having double standards when it comes to the people or things they care about. Now she thinks that if she could be in the same school as Xia Qing, it might be a very happy thing.
"Then it's settled. Three years from now, let's take the entrance exam together for Nanshi University, how about that?"
Hearing her answer without hesitation, a rare smile appeared on his face, and his gentle and soft voice fell into her ear.
Shen Qingli looked at him, her eyes filled with tenderness, but she paused for a few seconds after hearing his words, as if she was surprised that he would ask her so directly.
Xia Qing, sensing her hesitation, misunderstood something and quickly explained, "I was just suggesting... Don't feel pressured, if you don't want to..."
He was interrupted before he could speak. She stood before him, her face unusually serious, and stared at him, asking, "Are you serious? You mean we should both get into Nanjing University?"
Although he didn't understand why she suddenly asked such a nonsensical question, he felt the same way she did at that moment; neither of them wanted to lose the other. So he nodded solemnly and replied, "Yes."
"Okay." Upon receiving his answer, Shen Qingli finally smiled again. She continued, "I don't know what a promise means to you, but a promise is a very important thing to me. Since you're not joking, I promise you. It's a deal. See you at Nanjing University! You can't lie to me."
"No." He smiled and nodded, "I won't be a person without integrity. It's a deal."
On the day before the start of autumn, they seized the last days of summer and made a meaningful promise to each other.
This promise is solely for the sake of seeing each other again in the future.
-----------------------
Author's note: This chapter is a bit long ovo
That's the painful thing about flashbacks TvT; while young men and women are talking about their dreams, we already know their future in advance.
On a side note: Doesn't Suzhou No. 1 High School feel some pressure? They need to work even harder, you know? (Just kidding!)
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