Chapter 25 Bitter Summer 8:00
In December 2012, Suzhou officially entered the depths of winter.
Unlike the summers she remembers from her youth, Shen Qingli doesn't remember the harsh winters of those three years in high school very clearly.
The only thing she remembered was that from that winter onwards, she and Lin Xiaqing completely severed all ties.
Whether it was a chance encounter in some corner of the school or off-campus, she always chose to visit Xia Lin at the hospital when he wasn't there, or when he was getting food for Xia Lin in the hospital cafeteria.
Over time, she gradually figured out the pattern, and unsurprisingly, she and Lin Xiaqing met less and less often.
The academic workload at Suzhou No. 1 High School was constantly increasing, so she could only keep herself busy, thoroughly understanding the problems in the books, test papers, and extracurricular exercise books, so that she wouldn't think about what happened that morning.
Even so, Shen Qingli still felt that love was a very irrational and unfair thing, because in her eyes, this sadness was just a one-woman show, and no one else knew or cared about it except her.
And all of this is just like their relationship in the eyes of outsiders; no one will notice, no one will be curious, and no one will think that they will have any interaction.
A privileged young man and an ordinary girl should never have any story together.
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Time flies, and winter vacation arrived in the blink of an eye. Shen Qingli and Shen Qingyun were not idle either. Their parents, unusually, enrolled them in tutoring classes, and the two sisters welcomed the New Year amidst their busy tutoring sessions.
This year, she didn't have to go back to her hometown. Grandpa and Grandma Shen came to the city to celebrate the Spring Festival with them. This is also the first time she has spent the Spring Festival in the city.
The New Year atmosphere was great, with fireworks and firecrackers going off almost non-stop outside, but the neighborhood was unusually quiet.
Luo Yiqiu and Chen Chaoxi were both sending New Year's greetings to their respective QQ groups, while her contact list had only a few people in total. Shen Qingyun had taught her how to open this QQ account, and she had only added a handful of people since then.
Bored, she typed on her phone, replying to their New Year's greetings one by one.
As midnight approached, the first day of the Lunar New Year, the sound of firecrackers celebrating the New Year was loud outside. The whole family stayed up late in the living room to welcome the New Year. Shen Qingli rarely stayed up this late, so she was also a little sleepy.
This New Year was still uneventful; the family simply gathered for a reunion dinner and received New Year's red envelopes, much like in previous years. However, there were aspects that made her feel uncomfortable.
The only thing she vaguely remembered was a text message she received from an unknown number at 8 a.m. on the morning of Chinese New Year.
It was a somewhat inexplicable and nonsensical text message, because unlike many midnight greetings, this one was sent precisely at 8:00 AM.
The text message was very simple, containing only four words: Happy New Year.
Shen Qingli had just woken up and, still half asleep, checked her phone. Since she didn't recognize the number, she simply typed a question mark back.
The other party replied quickly: Sorry, I sent it to the wrong person.
Seeing this, she didn't pursue the matter further or pay much attention. She casually replied, "It's okay," and then turned off her phone and went back to sleep.
-
On the second day of the new year, through Chen Chaoxi's gossip and private chats with him, she learned that Luo Yiqiu and Zhao Yixiao seemed to have had a fight.
Just then, Shen Qingyun knocked on the door and came in to find her, asking what she was talking about so seriously. She casually mentioned this to her.
Shen Qingyun didn't seem surprised when she heard the news. She nodded calmly. Seeing her reaction, Shen Qingli asked in confusion, "Sister, why aren't you surprised at all?"
"It seems like their relationship started having some problems last winter. You and Asahi only just realized it? A lot of people at school have noticed."
"Really? I haven't really noticed, but now that you mention it, it seems like it's been since last year that they haven't been going to and from school together much."
After Shen Qingyun's reminder, she recalled that what she said was indeed true. However, Luo Yiqiu seemed to have never mentioned it to them, so she and Chen Chaoxi were also unaware of it.
Curious about the reason, she glanced at Shen Qingyun and tentatively asked, "Then... Sister, do you know what happened?"
"Me? I don't know. I asked Yixiao before, and he said that he's going to be a senior in high school soon, and he'll probably be going home late from school, so he won't be going to and from school with Luo Yiqiu anymore."
"What kind of logic is this... Isn't there still one semester before senior year?" She didn't understand the logic in those words and muttered to herself.
"I don't know the specifics either." Shen Qingyun shrugged. She could naturally see that there were many loopholes in what he said. In fact, she had seen Zhao Yixiao sighing in the classroom on many occasions, but he was unwilling to say the real reason.
She was well aware that she was an outsider to them, so she couldn't interfere too much.
Over the years she and Zhao Yixiao have known each other, their only unspoken understanding is that they will never ask each other questions they don't want to talk about.
"Okay..." Seeing that she couldn't get any reason out of him, Shen Qingli felt a little regretful, but she didn't take it too seriously. After all, it's perfectly normal for people to have a fight at this age.
Shen Qingyun chatted with her for a few more minutes before being called out by her mother, leaving her alone in the bedroom again.
Chen Chaoxi kept sending her messages on QQ. This New Year, Chen Chaoxi was like an "intelligence station" for Suzhou No. 1 High School. She knew everything about each classmate.
For example, she mentioned that Luo Yiqiu and Lin Xiaqing's families went on a trip abroad for the Chinese New Year this year, and they were outrageously wealthy.
Looking at the message on her phone, Shen Qingli inexplicably recalled the New Years she had spent in the countryside before. When she was younger, she would look forward to her parents coming back, but as she grew older, she began to resist them. She didn't know how to communicate with her parents, and the unfamiliar politeness and distance made her feel uncomfortable.
But the only advantage of celebrating the New Year in the countryside is that it's very lively. A few days before New Year's Eve, all the uncles, aunts, grandpas, and grandmas from the neighborhood would gather together and start preparing early according to the customs passed down from the older generation.
Her grandparents' family and Xia Lin's family were the closest, and they would visit each other more often. Every time this happened, she and he would meet frequently, although they still didn't talk much to each other.
In those years, there were many fashionable clothes in town that her grandparents didn't understand. They just thought that as long as children were well-fed, warmly dressed, and didn't get sick, that was enough. So when she was little, she often wore the clothes that Shen Qingyun had left over. Those clothes were faded from washing and looked big and old on her, and they didn't fit her at all.
Xia Lin often couldn't bear to see her like this and felt sorry for her, so every year before the Lunar New Year, she would drag her along under the pretext of going to the town market. At that time, she and Lin Xiaqing would just silently follow behind Xia Lin, helping to carry a lot of snack bags, and every time she came back, she would have a warm new outfit.
For many years, she always looked forward to the arrival of the New Year.
On New Year's Eve, Xia Lin would take the two children to set off fireworks. Most of the village was very open, and the buildings were not tall. The fireworks that were lit on the ground and flew into the night sky were the most beautiful and spectacular she had ever seen.
In the past, she would have gotten used to it for many years and wouldn't have felt any particular nostalgia, since there was an opportunity to set off fireworks every year.
However, in modern residential areas, buildings are too tall, and for safety reasons, many large fireworks and firecrackers are banned.
After her grandparents arrived at their home in the city, they became very hesitant and afraid of doing anything that might displease Shen's mother. Many of their past customs were rejected by Shen's mother, not to mention buying fireworks.
Her reasoning was that she and her sister were both grown up and that studying was the most important thing now; they shouldn't be playing with things that little kids like, lest they be distracted.
So she found this New Year unexpectedly quiet and lonely, which made her very uncomfortable.
Looking back, she felt a little melancholy. In the countless New Year's moments they could have spent together with Lin Xiaqing, they didn't take it seriously, only feeling awkward and wanting it to end quickly. But in the only year their relationship became closer, they missed this New Year that should have been a time for all of them to spend together.
When asked later if there were any regrets in the past, she inexplicably recalled that winter when she never spent another New Year with him.
Gazing at the bright moon outside the window, its light fell like a thin veil on her face. The things locked in the hidden cabinet on the table had never been opened since that day.
But perhaps it was stubbornness, or perhaps it was clinging to the last glimmer of hope, that she and Lin Xiaqing had another promise. So she never opened anything from that summer again, but she was also unwilling to throw it away.
She thought that habit must be a terrible thing, otherwise how could it make her feel melancholy on this festive day?
Over the past decade or so, she had never realized that she had unknowingly grown accustomed to Lin Xiaqing's presence. The awkward and childish one-sided sulking with him, the embarrassing dragging along to the market and for New Year's, the moment the fireworks were lit, the night sky ablaze with vibrant colors—the unfamiliar and embarrassed moments, the New Year's greetings exchanged amidst the noise—all those moments would never be repeated.
Looking up at the bright moon, she inexplicably thought of Lin Xiaqing, wondering what he was doing at that moment, and also wondering if he felt uncomfortable spending the New Year abroad this year.
...
Not long after the New Year, she visited Xia Lin in the hospital. She wasn't sure if Xia Lin was aware of the changes between herself and Lin Xia Qing, but they seemed to have a tacit understanding. They chatted about any topic, but never mentioned Lin Xia Qing.
She and Lin Xiaqing also strangely formed a tacit understanding, such as never meeting in Xia Lin's hospital room again.
Shen Qingli sometimes stubbornly thought that since they were no longer from the same world, they shouldn't see each other.
It's just that after running away from each other for so long, they can deceive themselves and each other on the surface, but the feelings in their hearts are the hardest to fake.
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Author's Note: It's going to be angsty soon, so I've planted a foreshadowing here. See if you can spot it! ^^
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