Chapter 42 Bitter Summer and That Back View
"Qingli, are you taking the day off next Friday?" Lu Ning leaned over and saw the leave slip she had placed on the table. He said in surprise, "You've finally decided to take a day off? You seem to have lost a lot of weight from working overtime lately."
"Yes, the high school is having a anniversary celebration and has invited many graduates back to campus. I'm going back on behalf of my sister," she replied casually, typing on her computer.
"Going back to my high school for the anniversary celebration? That would be so much fun!"
Seeing how excited the other person was, Shen Qingli asked, somewhat puzzled, "What's so fun about going back to high school?"
“You’ll definitely run into a lot of old classmates when you go back. After so many years, everyone must have changed a lot. Don’t you think that’s interesting?”
"Maybe..." She gave a dry laugh, her tone somewhat forced.
Lu Ning quickly sensed something from her tone. She raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. She leaned closer to Shen Qingli, nudged her gently with her elbow, and teased, "What's going on? From what you're saying, you don't seem too keen on going. Is there someone you're afraid to see?"
"..."
Seeing that she remained silent and did not refute, Lu Ning's eyes lit up as if she had discovered a new continent, and she immediately became interested, "There really is one! Tell me, tell me, who is it?"
"Hey Xiao Lu, how can you ask a question like that?" Sister Yan, sitting next to her, noticed the embarrassment on Shen Qingli's face and came to her rescue, saying, "But if it were me, I probably wouldn't want to go back to high school either."
"Why, Sister Yan?" Upon hearing this, Lu Ning's interest was quickly piqued, and she hurriedly moved closer to her to ask.
"Because your sister Yan's first boyfriend was her high school classmate~"
A colleague who knew Sister Yan well chimed in with a laugh, explaining that the office erupted in cheers and shouts of "Wow!"
Sister Yan glanced helplessly at the person next to her, waved her hand with a hint of embarrassment, and laughed, saying that she was young and ignorant back then.
"What's wrong with that? Everyone has a first love, don't you think, Qingli?"
Seeing that the topic had suddenly circled back to her, Shen Qingli was taken aback, then smiled somewhat awkwardly and replied, "Probably."
"Qingli, your first love wasn't also from high school, was it?" Lu Ning looked at Sister Yan, then at her, naturally attributing her reluctance to one reason.
Upon hearing this, her face paled. When the word "first love" was mentioned, after so many years, the first image that came to her mind was still Lin Xiaqing.
Of all the people she's met over the years, the ones she can't let go of the most are still the years she spent with Xia Qing.
But... she paused for a long time before shaking her head in denial.
First love? Probably not. It would be more accurate to call it a crush.
Unrequited love is never considered a synonym for any mutual relationship. Perhaps the best way to describe this kind of love is to say it ended without a trace.
If it never even started, can we even begin to talk about it being over?
-
In the afternoon, while everyone was taking a nap, Chen Nan had just returned from a field trip when Shen Qingli walked up to her and said, "Senior, I need to take a day off this Friday. I've finished revising the draft you asked me to revise last Friday. Could you please take a look and see if there are any problems?"
"Okay." Chen Nan nodded in her seat. She took the manuscript, carefully reviewed it, and found that all the questions she had raised earlier had been corrected, and even improved in other aspects.
Closing the interview transcript, she was somewhat surprised, and sincerely praised Qingli, "Qingli, you've improved very quickly. This transcript is good, no problem. I feel like you'll be able to handle things independently very soon."
"No, no, it's all thanks to your excellent teaching, senior." Shen Qingli smiled shyly upon hearing the praise.
“I genuinely think you’re very talented, and I have high hopes for you.” Chen Nan smiled at her, then remembered what she had just said, calculated the time, and asked, “You’re taking Friday off this week, right… Hmm, how come you finally decided to take a day off? You wouldn’t even take a break before.”
"Yes, I need to go back to No. 1 Middle School on Friday."
"Oh right, I vaguely remember, they seem to have sent me a message too." Speaking of this, Chen Nan suddenly remembered that this Friday is the 100th anniversary of No. 1 High School.
"Are you going, senior? I heard they invited many outstanding graduates from previous years." Shen Qingli looked at Chen Nan and asked curiously, "If you're going, we can go."
When asked about this, she blinked, remembering that Lin Chenqian had asked her the same question a while ago. Outstanding graduates were returning to school, and Lu Xu would probably be among them. Thinking of him, a barely perceptible emotion flashed in her eyes. After a long while, she came back to her senses and said to her apologetically, "I'm going on a business trip tomorrow and won't be back until next week, so I probably won't be able to make it."
"I see..." Shen Qingli nodded, indicating that she understood.
"Um...but, Qingli, if you're going, could you take some photos for me to see at the event?" Chen Nan asked hesitantly.
As soon as she finished speaking, she saw the puzzled look on the other person's face, and she awkwardly tried to make amends, saying, "I haven't been back for a long time, and I miss it a bit. If it's too much trouble, then forget it."
"No problem, senior, it's no big deal." Fortunately, Shen Qingli didn't notice anything amiss and readily agreed.
"Okay, thank you in advance. Have fun!" Hearing her agree, Chen Nan smiled gently, but there was a complicated feeling in her smile.
-
On Friday morning, Shen Qingli stood at the long-unseen school gate, holding the things Shen Qingyun had asked her to give. Watching the people coming and going inside, she inexplicably recalled the words "I miss you" that Chen Nan had said when she asked her to give him the gift.
Does everyone miss high school?
She asked herself in her heart, did she really not feel even a little bit of nostalgia or reluctance towards this place and this city?
Shen Qingli was unsure; she herself didn't know what the answer would be.
Before coming here, she always thought that she would hate this place when she returned, but when she actually stood at the school gate, the memories of the past came flooding back like a tide, as if they were about to overwhelm her.
She felt that she had never felt so indescribable before. The dislike and indifference she had imagined did not seem to have appeared. She stared blankly at every tree and blade of grass on campus. In fact, the changes at No. 1 Middle School over the years were quite significant.
But as she walked in, she could still recall many things from back then in countless corners and alleys.
Directly ahead, she had encountered a figure from behind countless times, meeting, missing, and going in opposite directions with that figure, but never walking side by side.
The students around her were wearing the school's signature dark blue uniforms, walking in twos and threes on their way to class. As she walked forward, she saw Luo Yiqiu in a light blue dress not far away, holding a lesson plan book in her arms, with another familiar figure standing next to her.
The figure was calling out to her, "Shen Qingli, come here quickly!"
Chen Chaoxi's voice, carried by the passage of time and space, reached her ears through the crowd. Upon hearing it, she finally smiled for the first time that day, though the smile was tinged with bitterness.
As time went by, they all grew up like this.
-
She walked forward step by step with leaden steps, and youth seemed to overlap with her at this moment. Facing the morning sun, she had the illusion that everything could go back.
She recalled that morning many years ago, after finishing morning exercises, she and her friends would walk back to the classroom together. Luo Yiqiu would suddenly run off to the second-year section to find Zhao Yixiao, and then Chen Chaoxi would complain that she valued romance over friendship. Then, in the blink of an eye, the girl who was complaining about others would also disappear without a trace. Shen Qingli didn't need to guess to know that she must have run off to the third-year section to find that boy named Lu Jidong.
And she would run into Lin Xiaqing, who was returning to class alone, in the corridor on the same floor.
He was always alone, and sometimes Shen Qingli wasn't sure whether they were destined to be together or not.
Those coincidental encounters, fleeting glimpses of each other's backs, and unspoken pasts—were they fate's deliberate trickery, or human resentment?
-
As Luo Yiqiu and Chen Chaoxi walked towards the indoor hall of No. 1 Middle School, many people stopped and called her Teacher Luo whenever they saw Luo Yiqiu.
Shen Qingli felt that this title was too disconcerting. The last time they were together, they were students, but now Luo Yiqiu had become a teacher.
Thinking of this, she happened to exchange a glance with Chen Chaoxi, and the two of them were clearly thinking the same thing.
Luo Yiqiu was clearly not so comfortable either. She nodded awkwardly. Having just graduated from university and not long into their careers, neither of them had adapted well to their current identities.
Although they hadn't seen each other for many years, the conversation along the way wasn't awkward.
Through Chen Chaoxi's words, Shen Qingli learned that she was now working at a bank.
"I've never heard you mention wanting to work in a bank before."
"And what about you? If I hadn't heard it from Yiqiu, I wouldn't have known you were working at a TV station. When did you become interested in news? I was shocked when I heard that."
"It's not a matter of liking or disliking; it's all about making money."
When asked about her favorite job, Shen Qingli forced a smile.
Her unspeakable secret is something she can't talk about. Even now, from part-time jobs in college to her current formal internship, she still takes every job seriously, but none of these jobs are what she really wants to do.
Sometimes Shen Qingli wondered if she was being too dramatic. Everyone was being forced to move forward by life, but how many people could actually do the work they loved and be themselves?
But the two people in front of her were different. She felt that they were still exactly the same as they were in high school, with their own opinions and concerns. Listening to Chen Chaoxi and Luo Yiqiu talk about what happened after they graduated from university, and hearing them say that although their current jobs were very tiring, they were all things they liked and wanted to try, she suddenly felt a little envious.
We chatted all the way to the lobby of the No. 1 High School and sat down. It was a familiar place. The last time we came here seemed to be when they returned to school to get their graduation certificates after the college entrance examination. The first time we came here was at the party after the military training that year.
After finding a seat in the brightly lit hall, Luo Yiqiu had other things to do, so she and Chen Chaoxi were left alone to sit there. They watched as other people came and went and took their seats, and many of them greeted Chen Chaoxi.
But Shen Qingli couldn't remember them very well anymore, only vaguely recalling that they seemed to have been classmates before.
She looked around at the group of classmates from the same year, but did not see Lin Xiaqing.
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Author's note: I don't know why writing about returning to school makes me a little sad TT.
The next chapter is a collaboration chapter, I'm late.
I'm still very tired today. I'm completely exhausted from going out. I'll see if I can update more tomorrow. [Milk tea emoji]
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