Chapter 45 Bitter Summer (Part 2) Congratulations on our newfound freedom...
"Here you go, take your milk tea."
Not far away, Chen Chaoxi walked over with three cups of milk tea and handed them to the two of them one by one, breaking the slightly strange atmosphere from before.
As she unpacked the straws, she said to them, "By the way, quickly check the messages in the school anniversary group."
"What's wrong?" Luo Yiqiu opened her phone, puzzled, and found that someone had tagged everyone in the group chat.
A message from the teacher in charge of the group: @All students, thank you to all the students who attended the 100th anniversary celebration of No. 1 Middle School. Lin Xiaqing was unable to attend due to personal reasons, and he felt very sorry. So he contacted me to say that he had prepared some gifts for the students who attended. Please fill out the form in the group and write down your mailing address. The gifts will be sent out one by one in a while.
"Wow, look at them all! They were talking badly about him while we were eating, but now that they hear there's a gift, they're all swarming in." Chen Chaoxi looked at the endless stream of new messages popping up on his phone screen, and said with a sigh, feeling sorry for Lin Xiaqing, "I think he just wasted his money. But it's a good thing he didn't come. These people are two-faced. If he had come, who knows what kind of rumors they would have spread about him. It's really hard for anyone to accept that their family went bankrupt."
Although she had no particular opinion about Lin Xiaqing, she naturally felt, like everyone else, that the other person's absence was also related to the Lin family's bankruptcy. As Luo Yiqiu listened to her words, she rubbed her fingertips together with the cold milk tea, her expression somewhat hesitant.
"Actually... for him, the family's bankruptcy might actually be good news." She hesitated for a moment, then decided to speak up for Lin Xiaqing and clarify how he was perceived by most people.
"What do you mean?" Chen Chaoxi asked, confused. "Our own bankruptcy is good news? Yi Qiu, are you kidding me?"
“No.” She shook her head and continued, “Don’t interrupt, let me finish. Actually, Lin Xiaqing didn’t want to go back to Uncle Lin’s side at all. His parents divorced a long time ago, and he was awarded to his mother. At first, Uncle Lin didn’t care much about him. But later he married a new wife, Lin Xiaqing’s stepmother. But later they found out that his stepmother couldn’t have children, so they had the idea of bringing Lin Xiaqing back. But Lin Xiaqing refused. He actually hated Uncle Lin a lot. If it weren’t for his mother getting sick and it was very serious, and the surgery costing a lot of money, he would have been forced to go back.”
"Huh? There's such a thing? How come I've never heard you mention it before?" Chen Chaoxi had never heard of this before and opened her mouth in surprise.
"I only found out later when my dad mentioned it by chance. But Lin Xiaqing doesn't want others to know about this kind of thing, so not many people know. Besides, I wasn't very close to him in high school, and I felt it would be too gossipy to talk about it." Luo Yiqiu explained. If it weren't for what happened today, she really couldn't stand it anymore, otherwise she probably would never have brought it up.
Thinking about it, she continued, "Anyway, their family situation is a bit complicated. Lin Xiaqing had a tough time at his father's house for those three years. He was often scolded and beaten. His family would use his mother's hospitalization to pressure him. Now that the Lin family has gone bankrupt, maybe he can live a more comfortable life."
"I've heard about that. Back then, when he got into that fight, his dad slapped him across the face right there in the principal's office. It was terrifying. And I've also heard that anyone who showed kindness or got close to Lin Xiaqing before was warned to some extent... Their family must be crazy. Why do they even care about his friendships?" Thinking about this, Chen Chaoxi couldn't help but shudder. He still felt a chill run down his spine.
Luo Yiqiu was well aware of this matter as well. When she mentioned it, she couldn't help but sigh: "Well, Lin Xiaqing and his stepmother don't get along very well, so his stepmother has never really liked him and likes to pick fights with him all the time. But that's just how their family is. They won't allow him to make friends with anyone other than those they approve of. If he does, they will do everything in their power to sabotage it."
"My God, don't many people in our high school like Lin Xiaqing? It must be so hard to like him, to be warned for liking someone..." She sighed, unable to understand the controlling nature of their dysfunctional family.
"Yes, that's why I always said that it's a good thing he's just naturally cold. Many people liked him for a while, but when they saw that things weren't going well, they stopped liking him."
"But hearing you say that, it seems he's had a pretty tough time too. I always thought he was some rich kid living a good life, and now he can't take it anymore. I never imagined there was such a hidden story behind it. But seeing that he still has money to send back-to-school gifts, he's probably doing alright."
"I hope so."
Luo Yiqiu nodded and said that although she and Lin Xiaqing were not very close, everyone in their family had their own difficulties. As for Lin Xiaqing, he had returned because of a conditional exchange, so it was naturally even more difficult for him.
Therefore, considering that he had helped her a lot during high school, she sincerely hoped that Lin Xiaqing was doing well now.
They could still chat about Lin Xiaqing's past, but even Luo Yiqiu didn't know anything about his present, so they talked for a while and then changed the subject.
But perhaps the speaker meant no harm but the listener took it to heart. After hearing Luo Yiqiu's words, Shen Qingli's heart skipped a beat.
The words spoken by the person next to her kept replaying in her mind, even though their conversation was no longer related to Lin Xiaqing.
So that's how it is. He had his own reasons all along. Actually, she had guessed it before, but every time she asked, Lin Xiaqing always said that she did it voluntarily.
He was always unwilling to say anything. After a while, Shen Qingli couldn't tell whether he was willing or unwilling. But... but if it was really because of Xia Lin, he could have told her.
Why did he always say those distant and hurtful things to her from the moment they reunited? She thought they were familiar enough with each other, but in the end, even Luo Yiqiu knew the truth, yet she only learned it after so many years.
Shen Qingli didn't understand what Lin Xiaqing was thinking. Perhaps he really had his own reasons, but perhaps the things he said to her were all true.
Everything Lin Xiaqing did in high school made it impossible for her to think that he was trying to protect her. She just felt that maybe Lin Xiaqing really hated her and really didn't want to have anything to do with the past anymore.
Or perhaps he was too unhappy, so her existence constantly reminded him of his past and pain, which is why he was so eager to sever ties with her.
For Shen Qingli, neither of these two possibilities made any difference.
The one he abandoned in the past was always himself. Otherwise... why would he, who was once his friend, not deserve to know anything about his past?
...
"Green pear, green pear?"
Luo Yiqiu noticed her absent-mindedness, patted her shoulder, and called out to her.
Shen Qingli finally snapped out of her daze. She turned her head, exclaimed "Ah!" and asked, "What's wrong?"
"What were you thinking about just now? I called you but you didn't respond." Chen Chaoxi noticed that her expression seemed a little off and asked with some concern.
"It's nothing, I was just spacing out." She forced an awkward smile, but her heart felt like it had been struck by a meteorite, and she could no longer easily calm down.
This was the first time since graduating from high school that she had been thrown into a panic by news about Lin Xiaqing.
"If you don't drink your milk tea soon, it won't be cold anymore."
"Yes, I know. I'll drink it now."
"Okay, we've arrived at the bus stop. My car is here too, so I'll head out now. Remember to let us know when you get home," Chen Chaoxi said, pointing to the approaching bus in the distance.
Looking at the bus that pulled up in front of her, Luo Yiqiu felt as if she had returned to high school. She couldn't believe that now that they were all working, they were still taking the bus in front of the high school. Thinking of this, she couldn't help but find it a little funny, and asked her deliberately, "Okay, but will we see you driving the new car your dad bought you to see us next time?"
"If you ask again, I'll never let you sit in my passenger seat again in this lifetime!" Chen Chaoxi knew she was laughing at her again. She gritted her teeth, glared at Luo Yiqiu resentfully, then swiped her card and ran onto the bus in a few steps. "Let's go, Shen Qingli. If you go back to Nanshi, Luo Yiqiu and I will find time to come and visit you next time."
"Okay, be careful on the road." She nodded and waved to her.
As the bus doors closed and it drove off into the distance, only Luo Yiqiu and Shen Qingli remained at the bus stop.
After Chen Chaoxi left, Shen Qingli watched the bus drive away, and as if remembering something, suddenly asked, "Is she still in contact with Lu Jidong?"
“They’re long gone. It seems like we completely lost contact after Lu Jidong graduated from high school.” Luo Yiqiu was surprised that she would care about this. “But don’t you usually not care about these things? Why are you suddenly asking this?”
"I just felt that she was too tense the whole way, like she was worried that we would bring something up. She kept talking. When I saw her get on the bus and let out a sigh of relief, I found it kind of funny."
"She's still the same; she can't even pretend."
After saying that, the two women glanced at each other, both looking somewhat helpless.
Shen Qingli laughed out loud, gazing at the streetlights on the road not far away. As if remembering something, her tone became somewhat downcast, her words tinged with regret, "What a pity, she liked Lu Jidong so much back in high school."
“Yes, but that’s how relationships are. If you can’t get a result, it’s no use liking someone no matter how much you like them.” Luo Yiqiu followed her gaze and looked over, only to find two students in the school uniform standing under a street lamp not far away. The girl seemed to be having a tantrum, and the boy was trying to comfort her.
Seeing this, her eyes flickered, and she seemed a little dazed. When she spoke again, her voice was a little hoarse: "Maybe this is what youthful feelings are like. In the end, nothing can be kept, only a bunch of regrets to be savored in the middle of the night."
"Perhaps."
Shen Qingli understood the implication in her words, but she remained the same as she had been in high school, and didn't expose anything.
In addition, she genuinely felt that Luo Yiqiu was right; regarding those high school years, it seemed that only those few things remained after all the memories had been worn away.
-
Upon hearing her answer, Luo Yiqiu turned her head and stared intently at her, as if she wanted to ask something.
"What's wrong? Why are you staring at me like that?" Noticing her gaze, Shen Qingli turned around and asked her, looking puzzled.
"It's nothing... I just feel that you seem different from before when we met this time." She shook her head and earnestly expressed her feelings.
"Is that so..." Shen Qingli was stunned for a moment because she didn't expect her to say that.
"I feel like you're not as happy as before. Even though you were always aloof and cold when I met you in high school, I can't quite put my finger on it, but you just look so tired now."
As she spoke, she pointed to Shen Qingli's under-eye area and said with some concern, "Your dark circles are so heavy. Have you been very busy lately? Or is something bothering you?"
"Why do you all say that?" Upon hearing this, Shen Qingli subconsciously touched her eyes. She forced a smile before saying, "It's nothing. Growing up always brings some troubles."
"..."
Luo Yiqiu stared at her, and seeing that she was unwilling to tell the truth, she didn't press further, but instead went along with her, "That's true, growing up isn't good at all..."
After saying that, she chuckled softly, but her heart felt heavy, as if something was blocking it. She couldn't explain the discomfort, and she could only attribute it to the heavy topic at hand. "Okay, let's not talk about this anymore. How are you getting back? Are you taking the bus too?"
"I messaged my sister, she's coming to pick me up later, what about you?"
“Someone’s here to pick you up, look.” She gestured with her chin toward a black car that was driving up ahead and continued, “I was thinking of giving you a ride, but if your sister is coming, then forget it.”
"If you give me a ride but not Chen Chaoxi, aren't you afraid she'll get angry?"
"It's her own fault for failing her driving test, and now she gets angry whenever she sees a car. I can't afford to mess with her. If she wants to take the bus, I'll let her."
Hearing her words, Shen Qingli found it somewhat amusing. She lowered her head and chuckled. At the bus stop next to Suzhou No. 1 Middle School, the air was still quite stuffy despite the summer night breeze. Yet, she felt as if she hadn't spoken as much as she had today in a long time.
After returning to Suzhou, she was always more tense than anyone else. First, she dealt with matters related to her grandfather's hospitalization, and then she worked overtime. She always forced herself to keep busy, because she needed to keep busy so that she wouldn't think about those random things.
-
Seeing the black car stop in front of the bus stop not far away, the person in the driver's seat rolled down the window and called out to her, "Yiqiu, let's go."
"Okay, drive to the other side and wait for me. I have something to say to my friend."
"good."
Through the open car window, Shen Qingli could see that the person in the car was a boy of similar age to them, a very handsome boy. Upon seeing this, she raised an eyebrow and asked with a rare hint of gossip, "Your boyfriend?"
"Not quite, more like suitors."
Luo Yiqiu's frank answer left Luo Yiqiu at a loss for words.
Before leaving, she looked at her and took the initiative to ask, "Before you leave, don't you have anything you want to ask me on behalf of your sister?"
"..."
They all knew the truth today, but Luo Yiqiu's sudden and direct question made it difficult for her to utter the words she had been preparing to say.
Looking at the people in the car across the street, she lowered her eyelids and finally spoke, "I originally wanted to ask, but now that I see you're about to walk forward, I think the answer is obvious."
"Really?" Upon hearing Shen Qingli's words, Luo Yiqiu's expression froze for a moment.
They all kept quiet about that name.
"Qingli, do you know what? I hate cowardly people the most, but I ended up falling in love with a coward."
She called her name, her voice so soft it seemed devoid of any emotion. Facing the sweltering wind, Luo Yiqiu stood before Shen Qingli, her eyes fixed on the school not far away. It was already late, yet every classroom in the teaching building of Suzhou No. 1 Middle School was still lit up.
"If this is the ending he wanted, then I respect it. Qingli, I won't contact him anymore, so your sister doesn't need to ask you to ask me about anything related to him in the future."
As she finished speaking, her words sounded carefree and relieved, which was exactly what Shen Qingli remembered Luo Yiqiu would say. But whether it was her imagination or not, looking at the person in front of her, she seemed to choke up for a moment.
"Okay, I'm leaving."
She met Shen Qingli's somewhat complicated gaze. Before the other could speak, she took a deep breath, forced a smile, and waved goodbye.
"Okay, be careful on the road." She silently pursed her lips, then watched Luo Yiqiu walk across the road, get into her car, and drive away.
At this moment, she was the only one left at the bus stop. The wind was blowing outside, and it was already very late. Shen Qingli watched the pedestrians coming and going, waiting and waiting, until there was no one around anymore.
Under the streetlights, she opened the straw and finally broke open the milk tea in her hand. She took a sip, and the ice had melted, turning the milk tea to room temperature, which affected the taste. She numbly swallowed the milk tea on her lips. They reunited with their own youthful thoughts, and then said goodbye again in the summer breeze.
Shen Qingli didn't know how she felt. Should she congratulate Luo Yiqiu on letting go, or should she feel sorry for their past?
But what right did she have to pity other people's feelings? At least their feelings were remembered and asked about, while hers was like a silent pantomime from beginning to end.
Is it really possible to do something so silent and unknown?
And tonight, after receiving news from Lin Xiaqing again, she was still unable to calm down.
Tonight is probably destined to be a sleepless night. Shen Qingli raised her head and looked at the bright moon in the boundless night sky. London and China are seven hours apart. In the past, when she was at Nanjing University, she would often look up at a certain night.
She thought that there was more than one person she should congratulate tonight.
Looking at the moon, she recalled the words he had said to her that summer many years ago. She should congratulate Lin Xiaqing, and also congratulate herself belatedly.
Congratulations to them for no longer being bound to a life they don't want to live, and congratulations to them for gaining their freedom in their twenties.
This is probably what they wanted most when they were eighteen, something they had always dreamed of, and now it's finally within their grasp.
The only difference is that he and he have choices now, and they are no longer the same.
-----------------------
Author's note: Lots of words today!
Congratulations TT
We finally have the right to choose our own lives, but we will never see each other again.
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