019 | Chapter Nineteen - Why
—She's pregnant again…
After their passionate encounter that day, Diaz thought things would return to normal between them, but little did he know that it would only make Xiaoyue even more taciturn.
Although she no longer hid in Mark's nursery, she had nothing to say to Diaz.
Many times he would just stare blankly at a certain spot, or look out the window with a sad expression, his condition was several times worse than when he first came back from the brothel.
He looked at her, wanting to say something, but remembering his beastly behavior a few weeks earlier, he silently swallowed his words. Sometimes Diaz couldn't bear to watch and would take her again, trying to remind her of who she belonged to in this way; more often, however, he would get caught in a vicious cycle that was difficult to understand.
Xiaoyue became an obedient puppet, neither resisting nor expressing her feelings. Only she knew that the cracks in her heart were beyond repair.
Diaz knew that Xiaoyue hated him for being unreasonable. Even though she hadn't said a word about it, he knew very well that the light in her eyes... was extinguished by his own hand.
But his time is running out...
The words "I love you" that Xiaoyue once said have been echoing in his heart ever since, and he doesn't know how to process them—should he accept this "love" and respond frankly, just like ordinary couples would?
But looking at them now, can they still be considered an "ordinary couple"?
"Alright..."
Diaz sat in his study, a cigar between his fingers, letting the smoke slowly fill the small space. His eyes held a rare vulnerability and confusion, along with a complex sense of relief.
"Make her hate me... at least after I'm gone, she can have a new life..." He slowly exhaled a puff of smoke, his eyes looking at the night view so empty and unrealistic.
"It's better than being a fool and remaining a widow because you can't let go."
...At least, that's what he thought.
However, fortune and misfortune always go hand in hand.
Weeks after being possessed by Diaz, Xiaoyue's unstable mental state showed no improvement. Worried, he asked Saien to examine her. Putting everything else aside, the most important thing was—
She's pregnant again.
Diaz stood in the examination room, his usually dull and lifeless eyes widening instantly, his exhausted face transforming into one of excitement. "W-what did you say? Xiaoyue is pregnant again?"
Said nodded, handed the ultrasound image to Diaz, and said in a completely honest voice, "And it's twins."
Twins!?
At this moment, even Xiaoyue turned to Saien, her lips slightly parted in shock, and her usually expressionless face finally showed some emotion.
...Not just pregnant, but twins?
What kind of joke is God playing on her?
She had a child right after they had a big fight and their relationship was deteriorating... She hadn't even gotten rid of the idea of divorce, and she hadn't even decided whether she could let go of Mark and Diaz, when she had two more babies.
But for Diaz, this news was nothing short of great joy—his descendants had suddenly increased from one to three. In the past, he would probably have held a celebration banquet, inviting all the bigwigs and dignitaries to celebrate together.
But at this moment, he mysteriously pulled Saien outside the examination room, making sure Xiaoyue wouldn't hear their conversation, and asked in a low voice, "Have you checked the children...for any genetic diseases?"
Saien quickly understood his concerns and nodded affirmatively.
"Mark has been confirmed to have absolutely no genetic diseases; he's a healthy child." Said lowered his voice and immediately showed Diaz the report on his phone. "The twins are still too young; we need to observe them for a while longer. I will also check on Madam's condition regularly, so please don't worry, boss."
"But boss, are you sure you don't want to continue the treatment?" He looked at Diaz with concern and sighed silently.
Diaz waved his hand, his forced smile so shattered, yet he still wouldn't give anyone a chance to see any weakness in this "Godfather." "Nonsense, who do you think I am?"
"What's so scary about death? At worst, I can just shoot myself and die with some dignity," he said in a low voice, slowly turning around to return to the consultation room.
He didn't see Diaz's almost shattered expression after he turned around.
That's right, he's not afraid of death.
But he was afraid that Xiaoyue would cry alone while looking at his cold body, and that it would be too hard for her to raise three children alone.
She was also afraid that if he wasn't by her side, there would be no one left to protect her.
Diaz was never afraid of death.
What I fear is... she won't survive.
"—Click."
The sound of the door opening gently broke the silence in the consultation room.
Xiaoyue sat by the examination bed, holding the ultrasound image in her hand. Her expression became solemn and complicated. She didn't even look up when she heard the door open. She just kept looking at the image in her hand, seemingly unable to comprehend the reality of the matter.
"...Wife, it's time to go back to the room." Diaz reached out his hand, his tone softer than when he was with Xiaoyue.
A few seconds passed.
She slowly reached out and placed her hand on Diaz's palm without expression, then took a slow step like a puppet.
Seeing Xiaoyue like this, his heart was torn apart like a balloon on the verge of exploding, but he swallowed it all back down without a second thought.
...because only in this way can she be happy.
What Lao Tzu had to do was arrange everything so that she could live a peaceful life.
Whether or not God exists in this world, I only ask for one thing... at least let me see the twins born, and then I don't care how miserable my death is.
But what about the other side?
Xiaoyue, however, thought differently.
"Since Diaz never loved me... what's the point of having these two children now?" she asked herself, her fingertips still gently stroking her lower abdomen.
"What difference is there between me and someone who is dead if I have no other choice?"
"If that's the case... once I lose my value, once I lose my value as a 'doll,' will he abandon me and go be with Mary instead?"
She used this almost self-deceptive method to hypnotize herself into believing she was unwanted, allowing herself to rationally escape from the problem.
She had long forgotten about Diaz's unusual physical condition.
And that's why... when she found out, she realized what regret and heart-wrenching pain meant.
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